The lips that kissed my bald head

  As it happens, when I rushed into the general hospital, the first person I saw was Xiaoying.

  I jumped off the motorcycle and rushed in, but instead of taking the small door that pedestrians used, I took the big gate for cars. The sentry at the entrance was unhappy and shouted at me. I didn't care about him and kept rushing in. Before I even entered the hall, I was stopped by a dark-faced lieutenant colonel who was accompanying a pregnant woman to check on something.

  I didn't dare to stop, panting: "Commander!" and hurriedly saluted. The lieutenant colonel's face was stern, speaking in Shandong dialect: "What's wrong with you? Why are you running? Put your military cap on properly!"

  I hastily put on my crooked hat. The lieutenant colonel narrowed his eyes and looked at my chest badge: "Scout? Great? Are you messing around here?" I quickly explained: "Not the chief, I came to see our platoon leader, our platoon leader..." The lieutenant colonel's eyes widened: "Even if it's a big deal, you can't violate regulations! Which unit are you from? Do you think you're uncontrollable?!" His wife, with a big belly, pulled him straight: "None of your business, what are you meddling in?"

  I don't know how to defend myself, but when a superior officer is involved, it's hard to win an argument. And this guy was a lieutenant colonel, while I'm just a private first class. The lieutenant colonel put his hands behind his back, cleared his throat, and I knew he was going to give me a hard time! You guys haven't experienced the art of being scolded by a superior officer at the grassroots level - it's a skill that takes hours to cultivate, and you can't just walk away after a few minutes. My heart was racing with anxiety as I watched Chen Pai approach, but then I ran into this iron gate god. Before I could think of what to do, I heard someone shouting from the other side: "Number 15! Come over, the results are out!" It was a female nurse, her voice crisp and authoritative, with a hint of bossiness.

  I didn't have time to look at her, I just lowered my head and thought of a way out. As a result, I didn't expect the lieutenant colonel to immediately turn around very quickly and neatly and run over to the little nurse, standing at attention with a smile on his face: "Nurse comrade, how's the situation?" At that moment, I couldn't help but think what they meant by 'one thing subdues another', you stinky cow!

  The little nurse said impatiently: "The fetal position is not correct, you go to the obstetrics and gynecology department to find a doctor!" She handed him the examination results and turned to leave, with a busy and preoccupied look. The lieutenant colonel hurriedly pulled her back. But just as she turned around, I saw her profile, that profile that I had been thinking about day and night, and I was certain I wouldn't mistake it! At my most difficult time, my most painful time, my loneliest time, my most lost time, she was by my side, in my mind, in my heart, accompanying me gently, happily, and unconditionally.

  I blurted out: "Ah!"

  The major turned around: "What are you yelling? This has nothing to do with you now!"

  The nurse looked at me in puzzlement, but was immediately startled.

  I rushed over, rushing towards the nurse: "Xiao Ying! It's me! Don't you recognize me?" I grabbed her hand and was at a loss for words. The warmth of that hand, its weakness, its fragrance - I will never forget it in my lifetime. You know, after I returned, I didn't wash my hands for three days until I had to wipe down my 81 automatic rifle with gun oil all over my hands. If you've also gone without any contact with the opposite sex for half a year, even just verbal communication, you'll understand what this feeling is like. In our unit, we always joked that even raising pigs were male, but it's actually true. I spent six months in the mountains and one month in training camp - seven months in total - without any contact with the opposite sex, not even verbally, except for Xiao Ying; that was spiritual contact...

  That major suddenly grabbed my hand open: "What the hell are you doing?! Getting more and more lawless?! Which army are you from? Who is your platoon leader?"

  Xiao Ying stared at me with her mouth agape for half a day, and the astonishment was something I would never forget in my life. I was so excited that I couldn't speak, and again grasped Xiao Ying's hand. The lieutenant colonel this time was not polite, and pushed me away with one hand, my hat falling from my bald head to the ground. At this moment, Xiao Ying spoke up, her mouth still agape but her eyes already smiling: "Xiao Zhuang! Ah, Xiao Zhuang is really you! Where have you been? I didn't expect to see you here! How did you end up coming here?"

  I giggled foolishly: "It's me, it's me!" I picked up the hat from the ground and was about to put it on. Xiao Ying cheered like a little bird: "Don't wear it, don't wear it! Let me see, let me see! How come you shaved your head bald?!"

  Major Zhang: "You know each other?" This time it was Major Zhang's turn to be stunned.

  Xiao Ying: "I know him! He's my...". She rolled her eyes: "My fellow countryman, we enlisted together!"

  The lieutenant looked at us, understood something, and his wife pulled him: "Let's go quickly! Don't lose face here, let's find a doctor!" The lieutenant was obviously afraid of his wife, so he hurriedly supported his wife to the elevator.

  There were many people in the hall, but in my memory, it seemed like only I and Xiaoying stood face to face, looking at each other foolishly without saying a word. Because we didn't know how to speak, I didn't know how to talk to the angel I had been thinking about day and night, she didn't know how to talk to this dark and thin little Zhuang, so we just stood there foolishly, neither of us knew what to say because any more words would be superfluous.

  Xiao Ying has changed, it seems different from what I imagined, because people's imagination can be wrong. But she is still lovely, still bright and still makes me think endlessly, because until now, the girlfriends I have found are all her shadows. Xiao Ying smiled foolishly for a long time, tears came out, and she wiped them away on her face: "How did you become like this?"

  I hadn't reacted yet, I'm used to looking at myself in the mirror every day, and I didn't even know what earth-shattering changes I had undergone - wasn't it just a shaved head? Xiaoying wiped away tears, looked at my chest badge: "Wow! Where did you pick this up from?"

  Xiao Ying is indeed Xiao Ying, her first serious sentence almost made me fall over. A girl with such quick thinking and sharp language, how can I not love her? And when loving, it's got to be done thoroughly. I was quite embarrassed: "I... did it myself." It seemed like I had committed some huge mistake instead of participating in a once-in-a-lifetime memorable martial arts competition.

  "Are you kidding me? You think you can take on the military's reconnaissance soldiers in a fight? Have you even seen a real reconnaissance soldier before? Don't try to bluff your way through this! I reckon at most, you're just some kitchen helper or pig farmer. With that lazy attitude of yours, who do you think you are, trying to act tough with a shaved head?"

  "Goodness gracious, I advise you all to find a girlfriend who can speak the same language as you, someone who can scold and talk to you, so that you know what kind of person you are, there's nothing to be proud of, you're just yourself, not some great person."

  I smiled awkwardly and from then on, I didn't dare mention my detective duel story to any girl again. This lesson I will not forget.

  Xiao Ying stepped on me and said: "What are you running here for?"

  I said I was looking for our classmate, she asked if I knew which department and bed. I thought about it and was stunned because Miao Lian had told me at the time that I was so excited to see Chen Pai's approval that I forgot to remember, but it can be seen that my detective is still extremely unqualified, such important information actually didn't carve in my brain.

  I can only say that I forgot, and all I knew was to call Chen Pai, Xiao Ying said you're such a muddled egg, how dare you pretend to be a detective with me? Come with me, I'll help you figure it out. So I followed her from behind, her footsteps were light as a kitten, my mood was nervous like an old mouse, her scent was fragrant like jasmine, and I was dark and thin like a lump of coal... she flew like a butterfly, and I chased after her like a bee...

  Then I arrived at Chen's floor, she told the nurse on duty and I went in. She said to wait outside for a while and I'll come out. I didn't have time to say anything else to her, my heart flew back to my comrades, my brothers...

  I came out of Chen Pai's ward with red eyes and tears, and saw Xiao Ying leaning against the door crying. I quickly calmed myself down and asked if you heard everything? She said she did. I didn't say anything. She asked if I really had to participate in the martial arts competition next year? I nodded, not knowing what to say. I had no choice, I already had no other options.

  She said, come on, follow me.

  I glanced at the clock on the wall and knew I still had time, so I followed her. I didn't know where she was taking me, but I knew that wherever she took me, I would go without hesitation or wavering.

  I followed her turning left and right, walking to their dormitory. There was another female soldier in the dormitory looking at herself in the mirror. When she saw us coming in, she looked surprised for a moment, then didn't say anything. Xiaoying closed the door behind me, and as soon as the door clicked shut, my heart almost jumped out of my throat with the sound of the lock clicking into place.

  It's been half a year since I've been alone with someone of the opposite sex.

  Xiao Ying pulled me down into a chair and stared blankly at my bald head, my thin face, and my shining eyes.

  Her slender white hands like lotus roots slid over my bald head, touching the newly grown green scalp. Tears fell onto my bald head. I closed my eyes, and she held me to her chest. My face was suddenly enveloped in softness, fragrance, and feminine tenderness. I greedily breathed in the fragrance, feeling a strange surge of excitement coursing through my veins, something crackling and splitting within me.

  I'll give it to you. Xiao Ying said faintly.

  My mind suddenly went blank.

  I gave it to you, Xia Ying sobbed and said, you are suffering for me, I gave it to you.

  Then she held me even tighter. But my body stiffened and I didn't know what to do, yes I had physical contact with more than one girl but I absolutely did not have any with Xiao Ying, I hadn't even thought about it, I just couldn't let her go into battle alone, that's why I became a soldier, of course as a scout myself.

  Xiao Ying shed tears, gently kissing my bald head. My scalp was throbbing with each beat, I felt her soft lips. This was the first time she kissed me. I closed my eyes, enduring her lips. The girl's, soft and unfamiliar feeling of her lips. I closed my eyes, I heard her taking off her nurse uniform.

  I wrapped my arms around her, she raised her head and waited, but I just buried myself in her chest and wouldn't let her take off her clothes. I was so impulsive, it had been more than half a year since I'd had any physical contact with a girl, but I couldn't, I absolutely couldn't, I definitely couldn't, I really couldn't.

  Because she is Xiao Ying, I cannot destroy my own angel myself!

  "I'm doing it for him, for my brother, to join the special forces. Not for you." I heard myself say hoarsely, "Even if it's for you, I still can't touch you, because you're Xiaoying."

  I got up and pushed away Xiao Ying, her face was red and puffy, with tears shining in her eyes as she looked at me.

  I stared blankly at her.

  She stared at me blankly.

  Then I turned around and left.

  Finally, I heard Xiaoying's crying sound.

  I put on my soldier's cap and walk with big strides, I dare not look back nor can I look back though there are still tears in my eyes.

  At that time, close to the arrival of the 21st century, a 17-year-old boy and a 19-year-old girl. They were in a room together, they also loved each other. But it was only spiritual.

  At that time I was walking with big strides, a military emblem on my head, a flower brooch on my neck and epaulets on my shoulders.

  At that time, I realized for the first time that I had become a soldier. Not only did I look like an excellent scout on the surface, but also in my heart, I had undergone an essential change, and I had a soldier's heart.

  It's not that having a sexual relationship with Xiaoying would make me no longer a soldier, I'm not that conservative myself. A soldier's heart is made up of three parts: having one's own ideals - my ideal is to use everything, including my life, to protect my country, my loved ones, and my lover, Xiaoying; having one's own responsibilities - my responsibility is to fulfill Chen Pai's wishes; and having one's own dreams - my dream is Xiaoying, she is my angel. I can touch anyone, but I cannot touch Xiaoying, at least not now. I will marry her and possess everything of hers, but not now because I love her (I don't know how many people can understand, but that's what I thought at the time).

  And these are the most sacred things for a soldier, none of which can be destroyed.

  I walked briskly down the corridor of the general hospital.