Extracting iron from ore (5)

  Many years ago, in a city far away from me, a little soldier sat on the back of his elder brother's motorcycle.

  Many years ago, in a world far away from me, there was such a feeling flowing in my heart.

  The hurricane-like wind that tore at my face, the red lights that pierced through the scene, the curious gazes of the pedestrians, the silent and expressionless faces of the traffic police, and the towering skyscrapers that whizzed by our ears as we sped onto the sidewalk due to a traffic jam, all seeped into my parched and fragmented heart like a long-awaited spring.

  Then my heart was gradually eroded by this spring water, and the dry and feelingless heart was gradually moistened again to produce tearing pain. If memories are really so painful, then I don't want to remember.

  But who knows about my Chen Pai, the story of my Chen Pai?

  He was just a small lieutenant colonel, and there were tens of thousands of lieutenants like him in the People's Liberation Army. If I didn't say anything, no one would ever know about it. His story would disappear like many ordinary soldiers in this city that has become superficial and mercenary, leaving only his smile and hoarse laughter in the dreams of his former comrades.

  But I think that no one dares to mention him again, because every time we bring it up, it's like a knife cutting through each of our hearts.

  But I think I must mention him, and tell everyone that in our army, there is an ordinary second lieutenant platoon leader who should not be forgotten.

  Even if my heart is torn apart and bleeds with fresh blood, I will still do this. I have become a person who fears getting hurt, but for the sake of my Chen Pai, my brothers, I would rather get hurt again, even if the wound will never heal again.

  We rushed to the gate of the Military Region General Hospital in over half an hour, I got off and thanked the traffic police brothers, they waved their hands and left. To this day, I don't know their names, I forgot to ask them at the time, and later there was no chance to ask again. They should have taken off their military uniforms by now, possibly in different parts of the world. If you happen to see my post, please contact me, I want to drink with you guys, get drunk, and sing a loud song - the most common but one that millions of soldiers will sing: "We are the ones who served in the army".

  I rushed into the general hospital, at this time I met another person, another important person in my heart. But now I can't say, not to be mysterious, because it will dilute everyone's attention to Chen Pai, and I don't want everyone to get out of this emotional state yet, because Chen Pai is worth everyone's concentrated attention right now.

  I rushed into Chen Pai's ward.

  I saw my Chen Pai again. He was in a south-facing three-person ward, with the window open and sunlight pouring in. The two patients from other places had relatives accompanying them, peeling fruit and reading newspapers. But our Chen Pai was lying alone on the bed inside, without anyone to take care of him.

  My tears came out all at once. Chen Pai turned his face and saw me: "Xiao Zhuang? How did you come?" I ran over and threw myself in front of Chen Pai's bed, with tears gushing out: "Chen Pai, I've come to see you..." Then, all words were superfluous, only my tears kept flowing. Before, I always thought I was very strong, but at that moment I knew that everything hard-hearted is fragile in the face of true emotions.

  Chen Pai smiled, and his eyes also flashed with tears, but he didn't cry. It was only then that I could take a good look at Chen Pai, whose beard had grown out, his face still handsome, but his expression dim. He was wearing a hospital gown, lying in bed, painfully turning over and touching my shaved head. He didn't say anything, just smiled with tears in his eyes.

  After I came to, Chen Pai's first sentence was: "How was the result?" I said 21st place. Chen Pai sighed regretfully. I asked him how his illness was, and he said it didn't matter, that he would be fine in a few days. I knew he was heartbroken, not only because my score hadn't made it into the top 20, but also because he had once again lost his chance to join the special forces unit, which had always been his dream. But what I couldn't understand was why he still wanted to participate in the martial arts competition when this illness didn't seem so light? I asked him that question, and he didn't speak for half a day. Finally, he asked me: "What do you think of being a soldier as an occupation?"

  I thought for half a day, feeling bewildered because I really didn't have this concept. I'm not someone who thinks of being a soldier as a profession. I joined the army on an impulse of love, and later it was because I was forced by the old veterans to do so, and also because I was rebelling against them. Then it was because my environment pushed me to become a clerk, but I couldn't do that, so I ended up becoming a soldier. Finally, it was for the sake of my beloved comrades Miao Lian Chen Pai and my brothers that I was willing to suffer with them, so it's a huge misunderstanding that I became an excellent scout.

  Chen Pai smiled and said: "What is your ideal?" I said it was a director, an artist.

  He said: "I don't have such profound thoughts as you, I've liked watching movies like 'People's Army' and 'Tunnel Warfare' since I was a kid. My dream has always been to be a soldier. When I was younger, I loved playing war games, and when I got to middle school, I started reading magazines like 'Military Knowledge' and 'World Military Affairs', that's how I knew about special forces and professional soldiers. Later on, I went to military school, not just because my family wasn't rich, but more importantly, I wanted to be a soldier, I wanted to be a scout, I wanted to join the special forces. When I arrived at our military district, I found out about the 'Wolf's Fang' special operations battalion, and from then on, I've always wanted to join them, it's all I can think about."

  I said that you shouldn't neglect your own body, the body is the capital of revolution, take care of it for a year and come back next year, "Wolf Tooth" special forces won't be disbanded next year. Chen Pai smiled bitterly, I only later pondered the meaning of this bitter smile. He finally said: "If I must fall, I would rather fall as a special forces soldier."

  When he said this, he was very serious. I don't know how to write down what he said, although it may seem like a cliché from a domestic movie, but Chen really said that. At the time, I was confused and didn't know what he meant by "not falling down". He didn't say anything else, so I told him many interesting stories about our competitions, such as which boat spun around during the rowing competition. He laughed very happily, and I tried to tell it in detail, because I knew he wanted to hear that.

  I was sitting on a small stool, in a low position, and quietly removed the badge from my chest while talking. When I had to leave, I stuffed the badge under his pillow. I knew the significance of this badge, which might only be worth a few cents, because he didn't get one last time. Only fully qualified scouts have this badge, although some officials give it as a small souvenir to many unrelated people, such as local cadres, wealthy businessmen, or mistresses. Although I know they hold them in handfuls and the recipients won't cherish them much, throwing them around everywhere, but I don't know those officials, I only have one, my comrade Lian doesn't know him, he also only has one, my brothers don't know us, we all only have one, but this one belongs to Chen Pai.

  I know what this badge means to him.

  Later, I went to the "Wolf Tooth" special forces brigade. Although it was clearly ordered that all arm badges and special unit insignia must be strictly kept and not lost, otherwise disciplinary action would be taken, I still said I had lost a set. I took good care of this set, and even if I had to receive a demerit, I wanted to give it to my comrade Chen Pai. However, when I called Miao Lian, I found out that Chen Pai had already left the army. I held the phone in stunned silence for half a day, and from then on, I never saw Chen Pai again. This separation has lasted until today, and I dare not see him because I'm afraid of reminding him of these past events. No matter what, he mustn't see me - absolutely not, under no circumstances. I don't want to rub salt in his wounds. I just feel that he shouldn't be forgotten.

  Later, I went to the "Wolf Tooth" squad and asked a military doctor about it, only then did I know roughly what "ankylosing spondylitis" was. I don't understand these medical things, except for field first aid, I don't understand anything else. In my impression, Chen's symptoms at that time were not very severe, his physical foundation was good, so he could still withstand general high-intensity training, but the reconnaissance troops' collective training was a different story altogether. Because it's not just about high-intensity training, but also about constantly pushing you to break through your limits with an overloading concept, which is unbearable. And it seemed like it was during the end of the training that he reached his limit, so twice in a row, he couldn't make it during the final competition.

  The medical principle of ankylosing spondylitis I don't understand, all the information I've checked says the cause is unknown. But I want to talk about my own views: The result of long-term high-intensity exercise, the training volume that has been practiced for a long time is very large, from middle school he was in the sports school track and field team, and for the dream of special forces, he has always been adding code to himself with high-intensity exercise, and it's even more so after entering military school. When he arrived at the wild warfare unit reconnaissance company, he was either leading troops training or adding code to himself, in order to get a good score in the reconnaissance soldier competition and finally get the qualification to join the "Wolf Tooth" team. I often saw him training alone at night until almost lights out. People's bodies and bones are naturally different, some people just can't undergo such intense training, I think Chen Pai is one of them, although he can kick four wine jars in mid-air, it doesn't prove that his body is naturally healthy, so he accumulated overwork and became ill, for the dream of a special forces soldier, a professional military man.

  In the end, it still didn't work out.

  Later when I was about to leave, Chen Pai suddenly grabbed my hand and said: "Xiao Zhuang, promise me one thing. You must come next year! You must join the 'Lang Ya' squad!"

  Looking into his eyes, I burst into tears again. What a huge misunderstanding! Why did I have to join the army? Why did I have to become a scout? Why did I have to participate in the scout competition? Why did I have to enter the military to experience this heart-wrenching pain? Why did I have to watch my comrades exhaust themselves for a dream that seems meaningless to me?

  But looking into his eyes I couldn't refuse, I covered my face and tears flowed from between my fingers onto the palms of my already rough hands.

  At that moment, one of my hands was grasped by Chen Pai, and the other hand covered my face. Tears gushed out, emotions surged, I felt something hardening at the bottom of my heart, slowly drilling into my blood, slowly seeping into my entire body. I couldn't help but agree with Chen Pai, how could I refuse him? If it were you, how would you refuse? Could you tell him that you actually shouldn't be a soldier or that you think the special forces are a boring and uninteresting thing?

  He is my brother, my sworn brother. His joy is my joy, his pain is my pain, his dreams are my dreams. We are actually one person because we are comrades-in-arms, brothers who have been through life and death together, inseparable forever, like tree roots that twist and turn together, impossible to cut apart with a knife or burn away with fire.

  I have to answer Chen Pai!

  At that time, I really began to understand what a soldier is and what a true professional soldier is. I am proud of having such brothers, and in countless nights when I wake up with tears streaming down my face, I hate to hit my head against the wall until it's bleeding and then cry again.

  At that time I knew that my life and my heart no longer belonged to me but to my comrades, my brothers.

  I'd rather die than not be a member of that special forces unit.

  It is the entrustment of my fellow soldier and brother.

  For him, I am willing to die.

  Then iron is extracted from ore, and this process is called smelting.

  Regarding Chen Pai's final outcome, I have been reluctant to tell everyone a fact that I know, but I must say it, because if I don't, it would be unfair to my Chen Pai, my comrade-in-arms, and my brother.

  Chen Pai, a platoon leader in the reconnaissance company of a certain mechanized infantry regiment under a certain group army of the People's Liberation Army Ground Force, is a third-class merit officer and a disabled veteran. He has no meritorious records but was once awarded a third-class merit citation by his regiment. Born in Nanjing, Jiangsu Province, Chen came from an ordinary working-class family. At 18, he enrolled in a reconnaissance command major at a certain PLA ground force academy, and at 21, he became a platoon leader at the grassroots level, serving for two years. Later, due to physical disability, he was discharged and resettled in his hometown, where he worked in an enterprise for people with disabilities, but I don't know what position he held.

  This is a written record.

  What can be seen with the eyes?

  Because the disease was discovered too late, he gradually became paralyzed from his lower limbs to his waist and eventually became completely paralyzed with only two hands that could still function normally. The last news I got about him was that he had not yet gotten married, I think my love letter did not have any effect.

  By the way, his nickname was "Foshan Wuyingjiao" (Foshan Shadowless Foot), which means that after taking off, he can kick four feet accurately in mid-air and break 4 wine jars, then land with a heroic posture. The commanders applauded continuously, marveling at our scout's divine martial arts.

  Chen Pai's classic image was repeatedly used in TV news and special programs at that time.

  I don't know if you've seen it.