Insufficient balance

  Fu Yuxue is in trouble, Bu Shanna... Long Sun Ting rushed into my ward amidst the chaos, I was comfortably leaning on the thick pillow, opening my mouth to let Tang Qian feed me steamed egg one spoon at a time. Seeing our intimate and affectionate attitude towards each other, anyone can tell that our relationship has undergone substantial changes.

  Chang Sun Ting's lips trembled for half a day before he calmly said, "It seems that these two weeks have been quite pleasant for you here!"

  Chang Sun Ting grasped a corner of the military uniform and let out a sudden, beast-like roar. All I heard was a loud "ripping" sound, as he tore off a piece of the sturdy uniform with his bare hands. Chang Sun Ting tossed the torn fabric under my bed, spat on the ground in disdain, and said in a low voice: "From today on, we are no longer brothers. I've finally confirmed that my brother Fu Yuxue is dead."

  He pulled out a small wine jug from his bosom, took a big gulp himself, and Long Sun Ting shouted with all his might: "Fu Yinxue brothers, you down there get ready, we're coming down to keep you company! Here's a toast to you, brother!" He turned the jug upside down, and the sparkling liquor drew a bright silver line in mid-air before splashing straight onto the floor.

  "No..."

  I rolled and crawled to the ground, holding onto Zhang Sun Ting's legs and shouting: "What are you going to do? Don't go!" On his body, I felt a kind of irretrievable sorrow. In my heart, I knew that if I let him go at this moment, it would probably be our last meeting in this life.

  Chang Sun-ting gazed at the wretched creature lying on the ground with tears and snot flowing down its face, his voice low and menacing: "Let go of my clothes, don't dirty them. I dare not imagine what kind of blow Bo Shanna would suffer if she knew what you were doing - you're emotionally murdering Bo Shanna!"

  I clutched Lang Sun Ting's leg and refused to let go, wailing loudly: "I don't want to either, but I'm scared, I'm really scared!!! Now that I've survived, I've lost all hope and fighting spirit. I've become a useless person. Watching you all leave me one by one because of disappointment, I just want to find more love for myself within my reach. Am I wrong? Must this loser hide in a deserted corner and endure loneliness alone?"

  Chang Sun Ting gazed at me in silence for a while, then let out a soft sigh and said in a low voice: "Perhaps it's because you're Fu Yuxue that we have too many expectations of you. If it were an ordinary person, you would have already done enough. Now that you've found a new place to rely on, enjoy your new life well and forget about me and Bu Shanna. If we hadn't died, we would still come back together to see you."

  "No, you deceived me, you deceived me!" I shouted loudly: "What did you want to tell me just now? Is something wrong with Bo Shanna? Where is she now? Take me to see her immediately!"

  "Chang Sun Ting stood up and said loudly: "Bu Shanna is indeed a warrior worthy of admiration, leading only one special forces battalion to break through the Indian army's eleven blockade lines in a row, and running to the vicinity of the Brahmaputra River. Although they did not catch Gulam, they unexpectedly found evidence of their use of international mercenaries at an Indian military base. When leading the troops back, her battalion was pursued by ten times as many enemies, and finally surrounded on a small hill with an altitude of only over 200 meters three days ago, with severe shortages of ammunition, food, and medicine, and the position was repeatedly shelled by the enemy every day. Now the Lhasa General Military Region is selecting volunteers from all soldiers to form a strike team, preparing to go deep into the enemy's rear to rescue Bu Shanna and her special anti-terrorism battalion! I just wanted to see you before signing up."

  His real intention must be to go with me to sign up, to join the assault team together? Only when it's just me, Zhang Sunting, and Yang Qing, the three of us together, can we form a truly iron fist!

  I slowly got up and pulled on Chang Sun Ting's sleeve, saying: "I want to go with you!"

  Chang Sun Ting looked at me with a mixture of surprise and concern, saying cautiously: "I'm going to the battlefield now, our special forces will be facing ten times more enemies than us, engaging in the most brutal battle, and we won't receive any support. Aren't you afraid?"

  "I'm scared, really scared." The thought of going back to the battlefield where bullets are flying everywhere and possibly meeting Guremu again, a giant I couldn't even resist, makes me shudder all over. "You don't know how much my heart hurt that night when Busena left, it was so painful that I could hardly breathe, if I didn't find something for myself, I wouldn't have made it through that night!" I shouted while slapping my own head: "It's because I'm too scared, that's why I must go!"

  Chang Sun-ting's eyes suddenly lit up, and he smiled at me, saying loudly: "Isn't it because what you're most afraid of isn't death, but losing Bu Shanna? So you, a coward, can only return to the battlefield out of fear, and fight desperately like a brave warrior out of fear of losing Bu Shanna?"

  I nodded vigorously. Yes, after tens of days and nights of thinking, I finally realized that what I feared most was not death, but the people around me leaving one by one.

  A knife-sharp edge cuts into the bone, cannot help but fight; back against the water, competing for hegemony, if not victorious then perish!

  These two sentences, which I often use to comfort myself, suddenly appeared in my mind. Even though I'm now just a timid and fearful coward, when the blade is about to cut off the most precious treasure of my life, I have nowhere to escape.

  She turned around, looking at Tang Qian with a miserable expression. As she met my gaze, she forced out a faint smile and gently helped me put on my jacket. In a low voice, she said: "Go back to your own domain, where you can find yourself again. Even if an eagle's wings are broken, it will still fly high in the blue sky. If you still have some feelings for me, I beg of you, let everything that happened between us be just a dream. When nothing is wrong, please don't come to see me, or I won't be able to bear it."

  I stared blankly at Tang Qian, who left a deep kiss on my lips and whispered softly: "Fool, don't blame yourself because of me. What I like is just a weak and helpless Fu Yingshuai, he gives me the opportunity to play both lover and mother roles, he depends on me like a child, without me he can't survive, facing such a Fu Yingshuai, I am happier than anything else. But if this Fu Yingshuai becomes a brilliant hero, I will be ashamed of myself, and I don't have the courage to compete with Bu Shanna for love. You know, when you decided to leave me that moment, my heart was more moved than sad, because I was watching a phoenix reborn from the ashes. I think maybe our emotions should also come to an end."

  I followed Zhang Sun Ting out of the hospital, and he turned his head to glance at the hospital's entrance, saying: "She lives a very carefree and open-minded life. I can tell she also likes you a lot, but she can also cut off emotional entanglements with a sword and give you your freedom. In this aspect, she is much stronger than us men."

  As soon as you step into the military camp, you can feel a heavy and tense atmosphere. Thousands of soldiers are lined up on the training ground in dozens of rows, undergoing various military skill tests. The sound of gunfire and shouting fills the air. Some special forces even perform aerial stunts while shooting guns and breaking bricks with their bare hands, drawing cheers from the crowd. They look like they're just going through a routine military selection process, not preparing for the baptism of fire. This is the real reason why the Chinese army's equipment may be third-rate, but its combat effectiveness is first-rate.

  Facing this magnificent scene that normally makes my blood boil, I'm now trembling with tension all over. Sensing my fear, Zhang Sun Ting stops in his tracks and says in a low voice: "You see, it only takes 500 assault team members, but at least 5,000 soldiers have signed up, and the selection process will inevitably be fierce. If you can't even put on a fearless and proud appearance now, I'm afraid you won't even get the chance to take the test, and you'll be eliminated from the start."

  "Head up, chest out, eyes level and looking forward. That's it! Now go line up for the first test on your own!"

  The first test project is shooting, to go deep into the enemy's rear to meet the anti-terrorism special forces rushing out of the siege, and marksmanship is naturally crucial. Each tester must stand 100 meters away and shoot 20 bullets, reaching 150 rings to reach the minimum assessment standard. Yang Qing has already obtained a perfect score of 200 rings in shooting, directly skipping all tests and being recruited as a member of the assault team, seeing me he gave me a "come on" gesture.

  My pale face clutched the submachine gun, and in my impression, it had never been so heavy before. As soon as the gunshot rang out, I couldn't help but tremble all over, and the target in front of me was a blank slate - the bullets seemed to have flown off somewhere unknown. My face flushed red as I pulled the trigger again, and amidst the trembling of my body, the bullet somehow hit the bullseye, only it was the target next to the one I was aiming at.

  A kind-hearted laughter came from around, someone shouted at me: "Hey, you're a new recruit in 05, can't even fire a gun properly and want to join the assault team? It's good that you have the intention to fight for the country, but if you don't have solid military skills, you'll only sacrifice yourself in vain and become a burden to others."

  I glanced gratefully at the old soldier who had reminded me, and under the gaze of onlookers, I fired four more shots. Each time a shot rang out, a burst of laughter erupted around me. The lieutenant in charge of supervising the marksmanship test walked over, gave me a once-over, and said, "We're going to the battlefield, not playing games. Hand your gun over to the next test-taker. Even if you hit ten rings with each of your remaining fourteen shots, you've already been eliminated."

  Staring blankly at the target 100 meters away with no bullet holes, I felt a chill all over my body. Wasn't I already eliminated? Yang Qingfei ran over and dragged me, who had become a block of wood, to the back. The captain shouted from behind, "Where are you going? Leave your gun first!"

  Yang Qing dragged me back fifty paces, just as the instructor was about to jump out and grab me back. Yang Qing stopped in his tracks, gazing at me loudly: "Big brother, do you see that target? It's your enemy! It's what's stopping you from seeing Instructor Bo, it's what's keeping you from fighting shoulder-to-shoulder with the brothers. If you want to defeat it, stand up straight and don't crouch down!"

  I slowly turned around, raised my submachine gun, and stared at the target. As my eyes, sights, and target became a straight line, a long-forgotten familiarity suddenly filled my entire body. I placed the butt of the gun on my right shoulder blade, where there was still a mark left from firing 20,000 rounds over three weeks, just the right size to fit the butt perfectly.

  Looking at the target 150 meters away, it's now just a matchbox-sized thing in my eyes. I gritted my teeth and desperately restrained the trembling of my body, my left hand tightly grasping the gun, and in the midst of the screaming voice of fear, I suddenly pulled the trigger.

  "Bang! Bang! Bang!" Three rapid shots rang out, I had already switched my submachine gun to three-round burst mode. The target scorer's voice rose in a strange tone, shouting: "Thirty ring!"

  A burst of astonished gasps erupted around him, triple shots aiming to hit the red heart, the difficulty was several times higher than single shot shooting. The shooter must have a clear understanding of the recoil of the gun in his hand, and at the moment when the last two bullets were fired, quickly press down on the muzzle to solve the problem of the submachine gun's jumping bullets. Without long-term repeated practice and strong arm strength, it is impossible to achieve this point. Moreover, I was shooting from 150 meters away?

  "Someone couldn't help but say: 'This should just be a coincidence, right?'"

  His words had barely fallen when the gunfire sounded again, and this time it was a high-speed three-shot burst at very short intervals. When the first batch of ejected shells were still rolling on the ground, I had already fired all the bullets in one breath. Looking at the densely packed bullet holes concentrated in the red heart area, the scorer was stunned for half a day before shouting loudly: "A total of 150 rings!"

  The last fifteen shots I actually hit them all!

  The captain glared at me fiercely, grabbed my application form, and after a brief examination, he shouted: "Others may not be as easy-going as I am! Our army needs excellent soldiers who are willing to put in their all, not some circus clown trying to show off in front of the crowd! If you don't want to get eliminated, then bring out your strongest abilities and most serious attitude!"

  I silently gazed at the captain who had opened a back door for me, gave him a military salute, and followed Yang Qing to the second test point.

  The second test point is to test the individual combat capability. In a charge, you will inevitably come into close contact with the enemy when breaking through the encirclement. Once the bullets are fired, on the intense battlefield, you won't be allowed to change magazines at all. You must hold the submachine gun and use the bayonet above to stab fiercely.

  Whether it's choosing to fight with a bayonet or bare fists, as long as you can withstand the attack of any instructor for two minutes and still get back up, you're considered qualified.

  Standing on the fighting arena drawn with white powder in the training field, looking at the instructor who was over two meters tall and had a strong body like an iron tower, I couldn't help but think of Gruelm. As my whole body trembled, I stared blankly as he walked step by step towards me, I was so weak that I couldn't even lift a finger.

  "Hey, soldier! What are you thinking?! You're actually spacing out on the battlefield!" The instructor's furious roar was accompanied by a punch that sent me flying into the air, my body weighing at least 15 kilograms lighter after my recent injury. I landed hard on the ground outside the arena, but instead of feeling intense pain, my nose and eyes welled up with tears and snot. I scrambled to my feet and rushed into Yang Qing's arms, refusing to return to the combat zone no matter how he tried to persuade me.

  The soldiers around me looked at me with contemptuous eyes, the hand-to-hand combat instructor roared: "Such trash also comes to join the army and wants to participate in the assault team? This is simply the greatest insult to our Chinese soldiers!"

  Yang Qing looked at the increasingly gathering soldiers around us and loudly shouted: "Chang Sun Ting, come quickly to help Big Brother!"

  Shooting one hundred and ninety ring combat match, forcing the instructor to a draw. With such an impressive record, I had already been selected by Zhang Sun Ting, who ran over to see me looking disheveled and couldn't help but furrow his brow.

  Yang Qing cried out: "Quickly come and help him, if this time big brother is defeated like this, he may never have the courage to lift his head again for the rest of his life!"

  Chang Sun Ting gritted his teeth and lifted my head, pouring all the strong liquor from the wine jug in his arms into my mouth. He shouted loudly: "At this moment, do you still have any reason to be timid? No matter how afraid you are, you must go fight, I know you have the ability, stand up and knock down that man who is humiliating you!"

  A soft laughter echoed around, it's already a miracle for someone like me to stand in front of the instructor, and yet there are still people who dare to say that I can defeat one of the strongest instructors in the Lhasa Military Region?

  "Hmm..."

  I didn't hear what Zhang Sun Ting was saying, nor did I hear the scornful laughter of the people around me. Half a bottle of strong liquor poured into my stomach, this is an eighty-degree liquor that is more violent than medicinal alcohol, my father liked to drink it very much, if I'm not mistaken, it has a very loud name, Hero's Gall!

  Wine is the courage of heroes! As soon as it enters my throat, a fiery heat rises throughout my body. I, who rarely drink, am suddenly set ablaze from head to toe. Every cell in my body seems to be excited by the alcohol, and the power that has been stored in some part of my body for several months is rapidly spreading throughout my entire being. A strange feeling assails my heart. Looking at my hands, they are still the same, with two fingers still somewhat stiff. Looking at the soldiers watching me, they are still lightly mocking me, but I discover that I have changed - I am no longer afraid!

  "Thank you, my... brothers!"

  Upon hearing my voice, Zhang Sun Ting and Yang Qing were both moved at the same time. They exclaimed together: "Big Brother!"

  Among the three of us, I'm the oldest, but it's my first time hearing Zhang Sun Ting call me "Big Brother"! I slowly got up, gave them a determined smile, and walked back to the arena. Calmly looking at that instructor, I said: "I don't know how long I can maintain this state, so I must defeat you within two minutes!"

  Yang Qing stared blankly and said: "I say Lao Ting, since your pot is so useful, why didn't you take it out earlier?"

  "Cut!" Zhang Sun Ting said with a white face: "If a person has no fighting spirit and no hope, even if I give him as much wine as possible, at most it will only cultivate him into a drunkard. What really makes him break through himself is the passion for strength, the passion for battle that has been sealed in his heart for three months!"

  The instructor looked at me with a matter-of-fact expression, wanting to burst out laughing, but his mouth opened and moved several times without making a sound. He closed his mouth in surprise, thought for a moment, and finally came to a conclusion that moved him: even the strongest soldier would probably not be able to laugh when facing a completely crazed male lion with bare hands.

  "What are you thinking, daring to be distracted on the battlefield!" The same angry rebuke, but this time it came from my mouth. I took the initiative to launch an attack, and with one punch, the instructor retreated four or five steps back. As he stumbled backward, I followed up with a full-force dash, and in mid-air, I flipped out a 720-degree aerial spin that absolutely shouldn't be seen on the battlefield. In the midst of this flashy move, I let out a loud roar: "Whirlwind Piercing Leg!"

  This is the martial art I stole from Kulm, it's my strongest attack now! With my body carrying the pressure of the air and high-speed spinning right leg heavily kicking the instructor's chest, even Kulm would retreat three steps back. The crazy fierce kick sent the instructor flying into the air, his body hadn't landed yet when I flew over to grab his left arm, my right elbow fiercely smashing onto his temple, then I flipped my body and swung wildly, this is the second form of Aikido that Long Sunting and I practiced together.

  The instructor's ninety-kilogram body heavily slammed onto the ground, splashing dust everywhere. I grabbed his right arm, swiftly flipped over and sat on top of him, raised my iron fist at his face and fiercely struck down.

  "Big brother, stop! You'll kill him!" Chang Sun Ting exclaimed.

  My fist, stuck to the already dizzy instructor, heavily slammed onto the hard ground of the training field, making a loud "thud" sound. After repeated pounding, the hard earth that had been trampled by tens of thousands of footsteps during training was actually beaten into a two-inch small pit by me.

  Yang Qing spat out her tongue and whispered: "Hey, Lao Ting, was big brother always so perverted?"

  Chang Sun Ting looked at me thoughtfully and said, "Big Brother was originally a guy with excessive bile secretion. He had been accumulating it in his body for several months, and suddenly erupted, no different from injecting enough stimulants, he's gone mad. However, I think this situation is just a one-time thing, and can only be counted as that instructor being unlucky, coincidentally running into the muzzle."

  "Ahhh……" I jumped off the instructor's body, my eyes red with rage, and let out a loud roar. Looking around, I saw a pile of performance bricks next to me, so I walked over and smashed 15 or 16 of them with one punch. As I exerted myself smashing the bricks into pieces, I shouted loudly: "Do I count as having passed? Can I join the assault team now?"

  All around was quiet, and a guy hiding in the dark whispered: "You haven't taken the heavy load assessment yet..." Before he could finish speaking, his mouth was covered.

  Carrying a heavy load, I rushed towards the heavy load test site. The soldiers who were lining up saw me charging like a mad tiger and involuntarily gave way to me. I threw my test paper directly at the inspector and charged towards several large and small stone balls. The inspector shouted loudly behind me: "Fu Yinxue, you haven't gone through combat testing yet!"

  "I yelled loudly without turning back: 'The instructor has been knocked out by me!'"

  On the training ground, five stone balls of different sizes were placed in order. As long as you can hold up the third one, regardless of your physical strength, it's considered qualified, holding up the fourth one is excellent, and holding up the fifth one is outstanding. I picked up the smallest stone ball, let out a loud roar, and threw it more than 30 meters away like a shot put. Amidst the sound of gasps, I grabbed the second stone ball and threw it wildly again. When I picked up the third stone ball in the same way, the training ground suddenly erupted in thunderous applause.

  I let out a loud roar and incredibly managed to throw the fourth stone ball, which weighed over 150 kilograms, more than ten meters away. As I walked towards the fifth stone ball, everyone couldn't believe their eyes - a soldier who was only about 1.7 meters tall and didn't look particularly strong, had actually lifted this 200-kilogram stone ball!

  This time I didn't throw the fifth stone ball, I just held it firmly with both arms, letting my body tremble desperately, letting sweat gush and soak my uniform, at this moment no one could tell whether what was in the corner of my eyes was tears or sweat.

  Chang Sun Ting sighed: "Big brother is torturing himself!"

  Seeing Yang Qing's suspicious gaze, Chang Sun Ting said: "After Bu Shanna left, my brother was afraid of being lonely and had a relationship with a girl named Tang Qian, betraying Bu Shanna and his original girlfriend Wan Ying who would never abandon him. That Tang Qian is also a rare good girl, when he finally decided to leave, she didn't have any complaints and gave him freedom, but in terms of emotions, my brother ultimately betrayed Tang Qian too. Now my brother's heart must be suffering terribly? Whether it's the timid brother or the heroic brother, they are equally weak when facing emotions, because every time he invests his true feelings, he never suits being an emotional scammer."

  (Xiao Yao: It seems like everyone doesn't like to see the protagonist at his lowest point. When they saw the protagonist getting together with Tang Qian out of fear, some friends even got a bit angry. Hehe, isn't life about growing and maturing through experiences? I wanted to write about the protagonist's experience to give him a unique way of becoming stronger, without needing to eat magical pills or receive guidance from a famous teacher. But it seems like it's become a bit too heavy. The strongest person and the weakest person are sometimes only separated by a thin line, while ordinary people don't have much room for growth. To quickly get through this depressing section, I've already cut out many planned plot points, but I still need to write nearly 30,000 words. Writing 30,000 words in three days is really giving me a headache. Does anyone have information about India, especially regarding the military? Help a brother out! I'm tired of looking at maps all day.)