Chapter Thirteen

  Dào Jìng was making a fire in the courtyard to prepare dinner. When she looked up, Lú Jiā Chuān walked in. She immediately threw down the coal ball and winnowing fan in her hand, not caring that the wood was burning fiercely, and hurriedly invited Old Lú into the house.

  "What? You haven't put in the coal balls yet? Chopping firewood is going to be too late!" Lu JiaChuan stood by the stove with a hint of a smile, picked up the dustpan and added the coal balls to the furnace. The small stove then emitted thick black smoke. Dao Jing's heart became even more flustered - she was already feeling embarrassed about letting Lu JiaChuan see her doing these trivial household chores, and now he had done it so skillfully for her, making her feel even more uneasy.

  "Lu brother, it's been so long since I've seen you..." she said with a smile, "come on in and sit down. How have you been lately? Oh, you know how much I've missed..." Dao Jing excitedly stood in the doorway, speaking incoherently. As for Lu Jiachuan, he calmly shook hands with Dao Jing, pulled over a chair to sit by the door, looked at Dao Jing with a slight smile and said: "Xiao Lin, how have you been living these days? Been busy, it's been a long time since I've come to see you."

  She calmed herself down with great effort. A sense of respect and a secret joy of meeting again made her eyes bright, she leaned against the table, still with the shyness and unease from before, and said in a low voice: "Lu brother, these days I've read so many books, understood so many things, my spirit has changed..." She blushed and didn't know how to express her feelings. After a moment of silence, seeing that Lu Jia-chuan hadn't noticed her panic and agitation, she finally calmed down completely and began to report to him the books she had read, their influence on her, and the changes in her mood. The more she spoke, the happier she became, gradually disappearing the panic and unease from before, with a radiant expression, tilting her head, saying: "Lu brother, how strange! How did I become another person so quickly - I seem to be much younger."

  "You're not old yet, how can you be young again?" Lu Jia-chuan narrowed his eyes and looked at Dao Jing. A mischievous smile floated on the corner of his mouth.

  "No, it's not like that." Dao Jing's calm and solemn tone was very serious. "Lu brother, you don't know, although I'm only 20 years old, but I... my past life has made me feel like an old woman already. I find everything uninteresting, lose hope in everything, and even become pessimistic to the point of thinking about suicide... But since that New Year's Eve night when I met you all, after you taught me to read many books, I suddenly changed...” Just as she was saying this, she turned her head and found that Yu Yongze had already stood up in the middle of the room at some unknown time. Seeing his small eyes angrily staring at Lu Jiachuan, Dao Jing's words abruptly stopped. Before she could even open her mouth, Yu Yongze turned around with a frown and said to Dao Jing: "The fire in the stove has gone out long ago, why haven't you gone to cook yet? Can empty talk fill your stomach?" Without waiting for Dao Jing to respond, he took a swift step and rushed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

  Dao Jing sat quietly on the stool, suddenly like frost-stricken crops, he slumped down softly.

  For a moment, she was red with rage and couldn't say a word. At this time, it was Lu Jia-chuan who was calm and composed. He looked at the door that had been slammed shut, then looked at Dao Jing's painful expression in silence. After that, he stood up and walked to Dao Jing's side: "I've met this Brother Yu before. Since he's eager to eat, Xiao Lin, you should have cooked for him earlier. Our conversation shouldn't affect him. You bring the stove over, you cook while we talk, how about that?"

  "Good!" Dao Jing Zheng was afraid that Lu Jia Chuan would get angry and leave, but when he stayed, she was so happy that she immediately moved into the stove and sat on the rice pot. Gradually, her anger turned into deep sorrow, and she lowered her head and said: "Brother Lu, think of a way for me! This life is really too dull. I'm suffocating...". She raised her head, and her eyes suddenly emitted an exceptionally intense light, "Can you introduce me to join the Red Army or the *** Party? I think I can do it! Otherwise, going to the Northeast Volunteer Army is also okay."

  "Oh," Lu Jia-chuan seemed somewhat surprised at this sudden request: "This young 'girl' thought it was so simple and easy to join the Red Army!" He looked at her, paused for a moment, and asked, "Why? Why do you want to join the Red Army?"

  "'I'd rather be a shattered jade than an unbroken tile!' I don't want my life to pass by so ordinarily and meaninglessly. From childhood, I had made up my mind - I want to make the most of this life. A dark society doesn't allow me to live happily, I'd rather...!"

  Her face flushed, her black eyes sparkling as she continued, "But since I read those books you gave me, I understood the truth and decided to fight for it. I think people should live like heroes, like those who are willing to die for their cause. Brother Lu, call me to the fiery battlefield, I can no longer live like this!"

  Lu Jia-chuan sat in the chair, gently tapping on the table with his hand, as if keeping time for Tao Jing's endless words. He shook his head, and a mischievous smile that was barely perceptible floated up again in his lively eyes.

  "Kobayashi, let's discuss something first. - You should stir the rice pot or it will burn. In the past you struggled with your family and were dissatisfied with the dark society, now you want to go to *** and onto the battlefield quickly, what is it all for?"

  Dao Jing was suddenly stunned. She bit her lip, deep in thought, and forgot to stir the pot, causing the rice to have a burnt smell. Lu Jia Chuan got up and stirred the pot, moving it to the side of the stove to simmer, but she still didn't notice. After a while, she looked at Lu Jia Chuan with a confused expression and muttered: "I... I haven't thought this through very well... But I believe I'm not doing it for myself. —— I hate those selfish people."

  "But aren't these thoughts and actions of yours still for your own sake?"

  Dao Jing suddenly stood up: "You say I am an individualist?"

  "No, that's not what I mean," Lu Jia-chuan's expression turned very serious, his eyes staring intently at Dao Jing. "I'm asking you, in the past when you were running around, looking down on this and that, feeling suffocated and miserable, was it for someone else or for yourself? Now you want to join the Red Army, participate in *** Party's heroic deeds... think about it, is your motivation to save the people from suffering or to satisfy your own fantasy - a heroic fantasy, to escape your current ordinary life?"

  Dào Jìng was stunned. After a while, she couldn't help but laugh again. Lú Jiāchuān's words had pierced her secret so sharply! She felt embarrassed and tilted her head for a long time before saying: "Lú brother, you're absolutely right. In the past, I only wanted to be a good person - not cheating others, nor being cheated by others. Maybe this is what they call 'being virtuous in one's own way'? Indeed, I rarely think about doing things for others. But there's one thing I still don't understand: I often save my own pocket money to give to rickshaw pullers and beggars; I like helping the poor. Can you say this is also for personal reasons?"

  "I think," said Lu Jia-chuan, nodding his head, "in evaluating a person's behavior - including all their efforts and struggles - we should not only look at their motives, but also at the results. See if they are pushing forward the current society or just putting gold on this rotten society, or trying to save this rotten society." A faint, meaningful smile floated in the corner of Lu Jia-chuan's eyes as he glanced cautiously towards the "gate" and then looked at the poor rice pot again, continuing to speak. "Xiao Lin, if you help a few rickshaw drivers or beggars, can that make thousands of rickshaw drivers and beggars have food to eat? What good does this do for the entire society and all laboring people, aside from satisfying your personal 'good person' feelings?" He turned the rice pot with a sticky smell again, glancing at Dao Jing, "As for joining the Red Army and going to the battlefield, that's a good wish, but we also need to look at the actual situation. There are many kinds of work, including fierce battles and unnoticed ordinary struggles." He glanced at Dao Jing again, "If doing these trivial things like cooking and washing clothes is beneficial and necessary for the people, and needs us to do it, then it's not necessarily about going to the battlefield to be a hero. Xiao Lin, how about it? Must you be a heroic martyr on the battlefield?"

  Lu Jia-chuan smiled as he spoke. Lin Dao-jing also followed suit and smiled. Her emotions fluctuated with his words like a small boat on the waves, sometimes high and sometimes low. When she realized that Lu Jia-chuan was offering her sincere and candid friendship, her unhappiness due to face and self-respect quickly dissipated. As she saw him smile brightly and nod at her with a concerned expression, she suddenly felt an unprecedented joy in her heart.

  "Thank you so much, Lu!" Her crimson face was filled with joyful smiles, her beautiful eyes wide open and shining brightly.

  "What's up, it's noon already, is the rice cooked?" Yu Yongze slipped in stealthily like a cat again. This time he tossed his top hat onto the 'bed', sat down on the 'bed' and stared motionlessly ahead.

  Dào Jìng's face suddenly turned pale. She stared blankly at Yú Yǒngzé, unable to open her mouth - she really didn't want to quarrel with him in front of Lú Jiāchuān.

  Lu Jia-chuan was a clever man, and as soon as he saw that something was amiss with these two people, he quickly picked up his hat and first smiled and nodded at Yu Yongze, then turned to Dao Jing with the same calm smile and said: "Our conversation today has been very good... Now, you eat, I should go." He nodded again at Yu Yongze, then walked towards the door. Dao Jing silently followed behind him to see him out, all the way until he left the main gate. Only when she turned back did she discover that Yu Yongze was also following behind her, his thin face stretched long and pale, like a mourning spirit.

  That night, Dao Jing went to bed without dinner. Her heart was disturbed by many complicated emotions and thoughts. It had been a long time, she lay on the pillow but couldn't fall asleep. Opening her eyes, under the dim light, Yu Yongze was sitting at the desk with his head down, looking very upset. At this moment, her eyes suddenly filled with tears.

  "Is this... is this really the person I once loved and adored?......" She quickly covered her head, afraid that he would hear her sorrowful sobs.

  Yu Yongze sat at the table, deep in thought. He had long known that Lin Daojing was close to Lu Jiachuan, and today's intimate conversation between them made him even more aware of the reason for Daojing's change. He tried his best to control himself, thinking: A man should not be troubled by a woman. However, when he flashed back to Lu Jiachuan's bright eyes and free-spirited demeanor, as well as Daojing's shining eyes filled with passion when looking at Lu Jiachuan, he was again overwhelmed by pain and resentment. He sat in the chair for a long time, thinking a lot but unable to come up with a solution. Daojing was a stubborn woman with her own independent thoughts; she couldn't be persuaded by reason or moved by tears, nor could she be intimidated by force... What to do? The clever Yu Yongze finally came up with a brilliant idea - to write a letter to Lu Jiachuan, advising and warning him, if he knew the moral way of being human.

  The letter was written like this:

  Lu Xun's letter: You and I were both students at Peking University, and your brother was also my fellow townsman. We had no grudges against each other. But unexpectedly, you used the pretext of spreading certain ideas to deceive my wife, Lu Xiaoman, and manipulate her. With your mouth open, you stirred up trouble; with your mouth closed, you plotted secretly. My happy family was destroyed. You were fortunate, joyful, and carefree, indulging in your desires! ... A person should understand the moral principles of being human, and not use frightening words to destroy others' happiness. Otherwise, it would be a betrayal of one's conscience. I offer these few words of advice to you, will you accept or reject them? Please think carefully about this.

  Still hoping for your wise judgment.

  Yu Yongze March 1933

  He felt a sense of relief wash over him as he finished writing the letter. He sealed it, stood up, and stretched his arms, walking over to the bed. That's when he saw Daojing sleeping peacefully. Her face was serene and gentle, like a marble carving, with her short black hair framing her pale and plump cheeks, radiating a pure and elegant beauty. Later, he noticed that her mouth was curved into a faint smile, while tears glistened on her face. "Has she been crying?" The thought flashed through his mind, and suddenly, all his anger dissipated, replaced by a wave of sympathy. He felt an overwhelming urge to understand and forgive her. Standing before the bed, he gazed at her for a moment, thinking: "She's kind, honest, and wouldn't deceive anyone or love someone else. Why am I tormenting myself?" As this thought struck him, his mood lifted, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He leaned down and gently kissed Daojing's face before turning around and tossing the letter he had just written into the dying embers of the fire. Watching as flames engulfed it, he felt an immense sense of accomplishment, throwing his arms up in triumph, punching the air several times, and letting out a few yawns before quickly falling asleep.