Chapter Twelve

  Before dawn, Dao Jing returned to her own cold and quiet little hut. She was tired and wanted to sleep, but after lying down on the bed, she couldn't fall asleep no matter what. The firecrackers of the Lunar New Year's Eve disturbed her, and this night's life was like a sudden storm hitting her. One by one, she thought about these familiar yet strange faces: Lu Jia-chuan, Luo Da-fang, Xu Ning, Cui Xiuyue, Bai Libing... They were all such lovely people, with passionate hearts that were searching for the country's way out and guiding others to live a true life. Thinking about this night's scene, thinking about her many conversations with Lu Jia-chuan, she tightly hugged her arms, gazing at the whitened window paper, and couldn't help but smile to herself.

  The firecrackers and small fireworks were going off, and Bai Libing's little stove was also burning brightly. It was already two o'clock in the morning, but the young people in the house were still chatting and playing. Xu Ning and Xiao Cui ran out to the courtyard to set off more firecrackers. Luo Dafang and Bai Libing sat on the edge of the bed talking in hushed tones, arguing about something. He seemed to be trying to persuade Bai Libing of something, but she started crying. Luo Dafang looked frustrated too. Later, he leaned against the bed by himself and stopped speaking, so Bai Libing went off to play with Xu Ning and the others. It was said that Luo Dafang used to be Bai Libing's lover, but somehow they had a falling out, and now the two of them seemed awkward around each other.

  Dào Jìng and Lú Jiā Chuān sat in a corner, chatting. From their brief conversation, Dào Jìng found himself particularly fond of this new friend. He was sincere, clever, lively, and passionate. His insights on national affairs were unlike anything Dào Jìng had ever heard before. As they sat together, his conversation with her was always natural and affectionate. He asked about her family situation, her upbringing, and even some thoughts and views she hadn't considered before. She, in turn, suddenly shed her past reserve and silence, pouring out her heart to him as if he were an old friend. What struck her as particularly astonishing was that each of his questions or simple explanations opened a door in her mind, allowing her to understand the truth of things more clearly. And so she chatted with him tirelessly.

  "Lu, (she called him the same way as Xu Ning did) can you tell me? What's going on with the Red Army and the Communist Party? Are they really for the people and the country? Why do some people curse them - bandits?"

  Lu Jia-chuan sat in the shadows, a mischievous smile floating on his face. He slowly turned around, opening his bright big eyes to look at her and said: "Thieves like to scold others for being thieves; moralists with three wives and four concubines are best at attacking women for not being chaste; China's rulers killed tens of thousands of young people, yet they say others are murderous bandits and robbers...... Don't you understand these things?"

  Dao Jing laughed. What a rich and humorous person! She became even bolder and freer in her conversation with him.

  "Lou brother," Dao Jing asked again, "you just said that young people must struggle and resist in order to have a way out, but I still don't quite believe it."

  Lu Jia-chuan's eyes widened slightly in surprise: "What, you think that being a conformist is the only way out?"

  Dao Jing lowered her head, fiddling with a plain white handkerchief. Seemingly in distress, she said softly: "You don't know... I've struggled, I've resisted too, but I haven't found a way out."

  Lu Jia-chuan suddenly waved his hand and burst out laughing. His laughter was so hearty and sincere, as if he were even more intimate and casual with old friends.

  "Ah, I see! Come, Xiao Lin, let me give you an example...". He glanced around the room at the young people drinking and chatting, then used his hands to illustrate as he spoke to Dao Jing. "Xiao Lin, let's put it this way: one tree is just a single tree, two trees become your 'forest', and when three trees grow into a vast forest, no strong wind can knock them down. When you're alone, struggling on your own, of course you'll only hit a wall. But when you join the collective struggle, when you link your personal fate with that of the broad masses, then... you, you are no longer just Xiao Lin, but rather... that vast forest!"

  Lin Daojing couldn't help but burst out laughing: "Lu brother, you're really interesting. In the past, I only thought that I should have a noble soul, and I rarely thought about other things. Tonight, after listening to your conversations, I suddenly feel like..."

  "What's wrong?"

  "You're like a silly worm!" Lin Daojing innocently blurted out this sentence, and she herself couldn't help but be shocked that she would dare to say such a thing in front of a man she had just met.

  Lu Jia-chuan smiled casually and said: "Probably, this is because you have been living in the ivory tower for too long. Little Lin, in this era of raging storms, you should quickly come out of your own small *** and take a look at this vast world - how tragic it is, yet how beautiful... Come out and take a look!"

  How warm and caring for others, how lively and free-spirited, how rich in witty conversations that open people's hearts... The more Dao Jing recalls the past, the happier and more cheerful she becomes.

  "Kobayashi, you are so pure and straightforward." Later he sincerely praised her, "You want to know many things about all aspects, that's great. We can't discuss it all tonight, I'll send some books over in a day or two - you haven't read any social science books, have you? You can take a look. Soviet literary works are also good, if you like literature, you should read 'The Iron Flood', 'Destruction', and Gorky's 'Mother'."

  For the first time, Dao Jing felt grateful when someone encouraged her to read books, and she gazed at that handsome face.

  They were talking happily, when Bai Lian suddenly interrupted: "Old Lu, Xiao Lin is indeed an honest and clever good kid, but we must help her get rid of that stumbling block. A beautiful flower inserted in cow dung, it's really a waste of her."

  Dào Jìng's face turned bright red. She glanced at Bái Lì Píng, she really didn't like it when someone mentioned Yú Yǒng Zé at this time.

  Dao Jing and Bai Lianying were seeing off Lu Jiaquan and Luo Dafang on the cold street at midnight. Bai Lianying and Luo Dafang were talking on one side, while Dao Jing and Lu Jiaquan walked and talked: "What a pity! Brother Lu, I really don't understand the principle of revolution to save the country."

  "Please be sure to bring me the book tomorrow."

  "Alright, I'll definitely send it over. Goodbye!" Lu Jia-chuan's two hands were warmly shaking Bai Li-ting and Dao Jing's hands. How strange, Dao Jing actually felt a bit reluctant to part with them.

  "What clever and capable people they are!……" The sparrows in the trees outside the window chirped, Dao Jing thought of this and smiled. But at this time, she also remembered Yu Yongze. He had gone home for the New Year's holiday alone, to reunite with his parents. Because of Yu Jing Tang, she didn't want to go back, so she stayed in the apartment by herself, which is why she participated in this group of vagrants' New Year's Eve gathering. Thinking of him, a kind of sorrow suddenly seized her heart.

  "Compared with them... Alas, how unlucky I am!" She sighed and covered her head with the quilt.

  After parting with Bai Liting and Lin Daojing, Lu Jiaquan and Luo Dafang walked on the midnight road while chatting.

  "Lao Luo, why are you so down today? Did you have a falling out with Xiao Bai?"

  Clever Lu Jia-chuan turned around and smiled at Luo Da-fang, while seemingly comforting him by putting his arm on his broad shoulder.

  "That's the way it is!" Luo Dafang said excitedly, "This woman has gone bad! I misjudged her... It's fine if she doesn't love me anymore, but she shouldn't go after Xu Ning. Xiao Cui and Xu Ning have been together for many years, they're a good match, but this shameless woman, she's messing around! Old Lu, do you believe it? When someone takes a step back in politics, their personal life will inevitably become corrupt. Xiao Bai used to be passionate and ambitious, I really loved her. But now, she doesn't read books anymore, doesn't attend any meetings, only wants to act, be a star, talk about romance... Someone like me, of course, she wouldn't like again."

  Lu Jiachuan nodded silently, gazing out at the desolate street before turning to Luo Dafang and saying in a low voice, "Comrade, I believe you can endure it. Love... is just love, after all..." He gave Luo Dafang a meaningful glance, his mischievous smile flickering back onto his lips.

  Lu Dafang gave him a punch. As they walked, he muttered: "Right! I understand what you mean. But it's strange, you're not usually close to women alone, how come you're so enthusiastic about Lin Daojing - talking for several hours. Don't you know she has the 'stumbling block' that Baili Bing said? The object of her affection is someone I know, a true follower of Hu Doctor. I've tried to win him over, but it's not easy."

  "Stop talking nonsense!" Lu Jia-chuan rebuked Luo Da-fang sternly, "I already knew something about her situation from my brother-in-law. We should help a girl with such strong will and sense of justice, we should give her a hand up, instead of letting her sink down. When she was in Beidaihe, she argued with my brother-in-law about the 'September 18th Incident', saying that China would not perish. Her attitude and upright spirit really made me like her. But why drag private matters into this? Are you... Shut your mouth!"

  Lu Dafang laughed and said: "Joking! Joking! I understand you. For our career, you never consider yourself. We often have to deal with girls, but you seem like a Puritan, I can't do it. For Xiaobai... Ah! Don't mention her."

  "I'm not a Puritan." Lu Jia-chuan said thoughtfully, "However, the current situation really makes one neglect these things. Old Luo, that girl - Lin Daojing you mentioned, I think she has a kind of strong and pure beauty. She has a spirit of resistance. We should cultivate her and help her find the right path. What do you think?"

  Lu Dafang turned around and looked at him with a smile: "Right, we should lead her onto the revolutionary path."

  Night, although it was New Year's Eve, before dawn, the streets were already sparse with pedestrians, only dim streetlights, sparsely illuminating the occasional passersby on the road. Lu Jia-chuan and Luo Da-fang talked about some work issues before parting ways. After Lu Jia-chuan returned from the Nanjing demonstration, Peking University was no longer a place he could stay, the party had already arranged for him to leave school and focus on secret student work. At this time, he instructed Luo Da-fang: "You must try your best to utilize your father's connections to stay at Peking University. Think about it, the reactionary forces' oppression is getting tighter and tighter, many of us can no longer engage in open activities, so you and Xu Hui must try to confuse the enemy as much as possible, and only launch a surprise attack on the enemy when necessary. I'm telling you, Li Meng-yu is now working at the Tangshan coal mine."

  "Really?" Luo Dafang stood still, his eyes wide with excitement as he stared at Lu Jiaxiang. "Old Lu, I'd love to go too. Working among intellectuals is such a hassle."

  "Never mind, goodbye!" Lu Jia-chuan saw someone approaching from afar and gently pushed Luo Da-fang away before parting ways. He then swayed his body while loudly singing:

  August 15th moonlight is bright - Xue big brother is under the moon...

  He swayed, sang and disappeared into a small alley beside the road.

  Yu Yongze returned to Beiping before the start of school. As soon as he entered the house, he saw that the beds, bookshelves, flowerpots, antiques, and stoves were all the same as before, without any change. However, her demeanor had suddenly changed! In the past, she was quiet and rarely spoke, often looking worried and uneasy, but now she was sitting by the door humming a tune, like a lively little girl. What surprised him even more was her eyes - in the past, they were beautiful but dull and lifeless, like a gloomy cloud; now they shone with joyful radiance, bright as autumn lake water, with a hint of captivating happiness rippling within.

  "The eyes know when a young person is in love." Yu Yongze recalled a sentence from "Anna Karenina", and a sense of impending doom suddenly seized him. He uneasily glanced at her for a while, taking advantage of her going out to buy vegetables, he hastily rummaged through the box, drawer, bookshelf, even the wastebasket. When he found nothing else, only seeing a few left-leaning books on the table and bedside, he nervously rolled his eyes and muttered softly: "There must be someone seducing her."

  Dào Jìng saw Yú Yǒngzé return, and happily prepared his meal. As he ate, she sat beside him, telling him about her new friends, the changes in her thoughts, and the joy in her heart these days. She thought of him as her loved one, and shouldn't hide anything from him. But unexpectedly, Yú Yǒngzé's expression changed as he listened. He put down his bowl, furrowed his brow, and said: "Jìng, I didn't think you'd change so quickly..." After a pause, he continued: "I...I ask you not to be like this - it's dangerous! If they put a red hat on your head, you'll lose your head!"

  One sentence made Dao Jing angry. Eight characters hadn't been written, nothing had been done, but she knew a few new friends and read a few new books, just afraid of being beheaded! She looked at Yu Yongze's puzzled eyes with disdain, and it took half a day to suppress her anger, excitedly saying something she had never said before: "Yongze, why are you so sensitive? You're not satisfied with the corrupt old society, you know that the Japanese have already trampled on our country's land, why can't we take a step forward and do something beneficial for the masses and the country?"

  "I think, I think..." Yu Yongze muttered to himself, "It's quiet, I think this isn't something we can handle. There are the government and the army, what can we do as a group of book-smart but powerless people? Who doesn't know how to shout empty slogans? You know I also participated in the student patriotic movement, but that was in the past. Now... now I think it's better to just focus on reading books. We have families, let's take a more stable path..."

  "You're really muddled!" Dao Jing angrily interrupted him, shouting, "You're the one who's shouting empty slogans! So you're just a coward like that!"

  Yu Yongze stared at Dao Jing with his small eyes, and was speechless for a long time. Suddenly, his face turned pale, his lips trembled, and he buried his head on the table and sobbed violently. He cried so sorrowfully, even more sorrowful than Dao Jing. His pain was not so much because of the humiliation, but rather due to deep-seated jealousy.

  "... She, she has become cruel, such cruelty, must have changed her heart. Love, fallen in love with someone else...". He thought, while shedding tears, that only love can make a woman change.

  After a quarrel, Dao Jing and Yu Yongze didn't speak to each other for several days, but she was still very happy inside. She hummed and sang softly while cooking and washing clothes, her black eyebrows raised high with joy. After finishing her chores, she devoured books greedily, not moving or looking up even after hours passed. Her focused expression made it seem like she had forgotten about Yu Yongze's existence and the stifling atmosphere of their small home. Her spirit soared into a vast world. But what about Yu Yongze? He hadn't been to class for days, hiding in the small room, spying on Dao Jing's movements. He secretly planned to uncover her secrets. However, seeing her expression so candid and natural, without any signs of hidden joy, he felt perplexed again.

  At night, Dao Jing lay on the table quietly reading Lenin's "The State and Revolution", taking notes, adding circles and dots. When she was tired, she picked up Gorky's "Mother". She was constantly stirred by the infinite passion for a happy future world that surged in it, and she felt an unprecedented joy and satisfaction. But what about Yu Yongze? He was confined to his small room, feeling listless, so he could only pick up the "Guo Fu" (National Heritage) that he had been studying for the past year. He hugged the books, leaned against Dao Jing's side, and read while searching for chapters and sentences. A large stack of thread-bound books filled the not-so-large three-tiered table, and as he read on, slowly, he also became fully engaged. At this time, his mind was drawn back to the vast expanse of ancient times, entangled with many ancient people and versions. When he was tired, took a rest, and slightly came to - "Establishing one's own school of thought", scholars, famous figures, creating favorable living conditions...

  Many fantasies immediately flooded his mind, inspiring him and making him bury his head deeply once again.

  Here is the translation:

  Dào Jìng was so enthusiastic about revolution that she didn't care whether she could digest all those theoretical books or not, nor did she know how to combine them with reality. She just wanted to see a new world from her books and find the truth she had been searching for. So she read tirelessly every day. In this way, two young people, one modern and one old-fashioned, each read their own books until late at night. Since Lú Jiāchuān gave Dào Jìng a new book she had never read before on New Year's Day, her thoughts and understanding changed rapidly; her feelings and emotions also changed rapidly through these books. Many years later, she still clearly remembered the name of the first book Lú Jiāchuān gave her: "How to Study Emerging Social Sciences". On New Year's Eve, she lay in bed, enduring the cold - the coal stove had gone out early, and the icy wind blew in through the gaps in the wall. But she read excitedly, reading all night until she finished the little book in one breath.

  Lu Jia-chuan gave her only four books on general social science written in Marxist-Leninist theory, and Tao Jing hid alone in the house, devoting herself to reading for five days. But unexpectedly, these five days had a huge impact on her life - from here, she saw the future of human society; from here, she saw the light of truth and the road she should take personally; from here, she understood why "the wine and meat in the Zhu family's house stink, and there are frozen bones on the road". She understood why her mother died. ... As a result, the desperate and pessimistic mood that she often felt suddenly disappeared; as a result, a longing for progress and a surging revolutionary passion began to rise up in her heart.

  After finishing the book, she looked forward to Lu Jiachuan coming again to borrow books for her to read, but he didn't come. She borrowed many political, economic, philosophical, and literary books from Bai Liting and Xu Ning. There were many books that she couldn't understand, such as "Anti-Dühring" and "The Poverty of Philosophy", which left her bewildered. However, with the fervent desire for knowledge and the enthusiasm of young people, she didn't care whether she understood them or not, and she continued to read voraciously. At that time, Yu Yongze had not returned yet, so she was lonely by herself, and as a result, she would often read for 15-16 hours a day. She even read while eating. When her money ran out, she could only buy some cheap food like steamed buns to eat every day. She didn't bother to cook meals, and the buns weren't very tasty, but because she was completely absorbed in reading, she would finish one without realizing it. Since discovering this "reading while eating" method, she didn't want to leave her books for a moment.

  "Xu Ning, can you tell me: are metaphysics and formal logic one thing?"

  "The three principles of dialectics can be applied everywhere, so tell me, how should the negation of the negation be interpreted?"

  "Why hasn't the Soviet Union implemented a communist society yet? What will it be like when China reaches a communist society?"

  Xu Ning often went to visit Bai Libing, and would also take the opportunity to see her. Every time he saw him, Dao Jing would ask many questions that seemed to be understood but not understood. Xu Ning would often shake his head and laugh, saying: "Ah, Miss! You're going to become a bookworm with a big belly! How can a person digest so much at once? I'm just a half-bottle of vinegar, and I couldn't answer you." Although he said that, when it came to theoretical discussions, Xu Ning would still enthusiastically and systematically explain things to Dao Jing. Dao Jing felt deeply proud and happy for her newly recognized friends. Her seemingly dull youth was revived, and her cheerful mood made her often unconsciously hum or sing, as if she had endless energy to expend. This feeling was something that Yu Yongze couldn't understand, so he became suspicious and trapped in the pain of inexplicable jealousy.