Chapter 24 of Part One
Yu Yongze saw Dao Jing rushing in and out for several days, sometimes not returning until midnight, and sometimes running out before dawn. She was dressed up so gaudily that Yu Yongze was furious. Dao Jing didn't say a word to him, neither where she was going nor what she was doing. When asked, she simply gave a perfunctory answer: "What's it to you?"
He couldn't bear it anymore. One night, as soon as he lay down, he turned over and pinched Jing's arm, gritting his teeth and saying: "Jing, what are you thinking? Don't you feel ashamed of yourself?"
She lay quietly for a while without speaking. The will that had been brewing and maturing over the past few days helped her calm down. She slowly sat up, turned on the lamp, and lowered her voice: "Yongze, you should understand: there is already such a big gap between us... it hurts both of us. We are still young, don't you think it's better if we just leave each other?"
Her unusual calmness and gentleness, which was different from her past quarrelsome and indignant attitude, made Yu Yongze suddenly realize that things were irretrievable! It had reached a desperate point! His self-esteem suddenly grew in front of a woman who had already become indifferent to him. He sat up, bowed his head and thought for a while, finally frowning and saying in a hoarse voice: "Well, since it's like this, let's go our separate ways!"
The next day, Yu Yongze left early in the morning. In the afternoon, when Daojing was packing up her things and preparing to move to another small apartment near the beach, a guest suddenly came looking for her. She walked out of the door and took a look: a short stature with a round yellow face wearing glasses, she couldn't recognize who it was. But the visitor rushed forward like an old friend, grasped her hand and said in a low voice, "Are you Lin Daojing? I'm Lu Jiachuan's friend - Dai Yu."
"Lu's friend - he might have brought news..." Thinking of this, Dao Jing led him into the house with a mixture of shock and joy. As soon as the guest sat down, she asked eagerly: "I didn't expect you to come... Lu Jia Chuan, was he really arrested? What's the situation now?"
He looked around the room, then stared at Dao Jing's face for a while before answering in a low, drawling voice: "Yes, unfortunately, he was captured three months ago. He was originally detained at the Garrison Command, but now I don't know where he's been taken." His last sentence was spoken very softly, and as he spoke, he saw Dao Jing's face turn pale, her hands clenched tightly on the bed railing.
"Comrade Lin is very concerned about him." Dai Yu's face revealed a faint smile, and she shouted "comrade" at her.
Comrade Daojing was so surprised and delighted to hear this title. Lu Jiachuan, although intimate, had never called her that before; but this stranger actually called himself a comrade. ... She suppressed the fluctuations caused by the confirmation of the unfortunate news and said in a gentle and low voice: "I'm really glad to see you. Although we haven't met before, I remember that it was you who started speaking on 'March 18th'! I think Old Lu must have also mentioned me to you... I'm very childish, hoping that you can come to help me often in the future."
"Of course. Old Lu and I are good friends, didn't you know?"
"Ah......" Tao Jing's heart was filled with a mix of sadness and joy at this moment, but she didn't know what to say.
Dai Yu lit a cigarette and took a few puffs, then slowly asked Jingdao: "Excuse me, did Old Lu leave something with you? What work did he assign to you when they last met?"
Dào Jìng told her and Lú Jiā Chuān about their last meeting and also told him about the scattered flyers.
Dai Yu listened carefully to her words, nodded and said: "Good, good, you've done well, very brave. But why didn't you find our comrades to go with you? It's too dangerous for one person to do this."
"There's no one. The revolutionary comrades I know are just a few like Old Lu and Little Xu, haven't they all been caught?"
"Oh, I see." Dai Yu stared at him with a hint of a smile on his pale yellow face, which was puffy from lack of sleep and had prominent goldfish eyes behind his glasses. "So, how do you plan to strive forward from now on?" Without waiting for Dao Jing's response, he continued, "There are many young people who are progressive in their thinking and lean to the left. You must try to expand your social circle as much as possible..."
"No!" interrupted Da Jing with a worried tone. "Old Dai, I've lost another progressive friend. Introduce me to a few more, will you? Look at my miserable life - since Old Lu and the others were caught, I've become a frog in a well again. Now I'm preparing to leave him - you don't know that I have a lover who is very backward, our thoughts are not consistent, so I can only leave her. After that, I'll be free. I really want to make my life more meaningful, like yours. Your struggles make your lives so rich."
"Uh-huh, yeah...” Dai Yu nodded repeatedly and stood up, smoking a cigarette as he looked around the room. When he saw the potted green winter jasmine hanging on the wall and the small, delicate ancient ceramic vase on the bookshelf, he turned his head and smiled slightly: "Comrade Lin, you're not revolutionary enough with these bourgeois trinkets. Proletarian revolutionaries are opposed to these 'trivial pursuits'. ...Okay, now I'm leaving, please tell me your new address, and when I have time, I'll come visit you. If Old Lu has any news, I'll definitely come tell you too... That's right, from now on, you should bravely throw yourself into the revolutionary struggle, make contact with more revolutionaries, of course, we two also have a certain connection now."
Dai Yu sent Dao Jing off and returned to the house, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Thinking that she had reconnected with her revolutionary friends, her life would become lively again, she was so excited that she forgot about the move; but when she thought of Lu Jia-chuan, her mood gradually became heavy again.
"Ah, where are you now?……” She stared blankly at the blue sky outside the window for a long time without moving. Later, when she suddenly saw the photo of her and Yu Yongze hanging on the wall, and his blue cotton robe on the clothes rack, she suddenly came to her senses. She stood up and looked around the room - was it really going to be goodbye with the man she had once loved? Was this little house where they had spent so many sweet moments together never to be returned to again?…… She glanced at the rolled-up bedding, the small suitcase that was about to be taken away, and all the things left behind for Yu Yongze in the room. Her eyes suddenly welled up with tears. "Leave quickly!" For a moment, she felt ashamed of her hesitation and sadness. Unknowingly, a surge of strength came from somewhere, and she picked up the rolled-up bedding and headed out. But when she reached the door, she finally turned back, sat down at the table, and quickly wrote a note:
Yong Ze: I'm leaving and won't come back again. Take care of yourself! Open up your heart! Wish you happiness.
September 20, 1933
After a fierce inner struggle and painful self-criticism, Lin Daojing finally picked up her luggage and walked out of the apartment that had brought her happiness and endless pain.
Chapter 24 of Part One
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"The Song of Youth"
