Chapter 23

  One day, two days, three days - ten days passed, a month passed, and Lu Jia-chuan still hadn't come to look for Lin Dao-jing.

  What's going on?...

  Dào Jìng clearly remembered what he said that day: "I'll definitely come to pick up the stuff within three days." But he never came again. Her hope dwindled with each passing moment, her worries grew more and more, and her feelings of guilt and resentment intensified. She wanted to inquire about his whereabouts, but didn't know where to start. All the people who knew him - Xǔ Níng had been arrested, Luó Dàfāng had gone to Cháhěi. She had also tried to find Lú Jiāchuān's friend Lǐ Dàshí, but Lǐ Dàshí had moved away, and none of the neighbors in the courtyard knew where she had gone.

  He sat and stood with an air of having lost something all day long.

  "Why not make up your mind to keep him? Why not think of ways to help him?... Is there any obstacle? Why not break through these obstacles?" It seemed as if she had betrayed her comrade, and her heart felt an unbearable pang of guilt. She hated herself for being weak and hesitant; hated herself for not having the determination to protect the person she respected; she also hated Yu Yongze's backwardness and selfishness even more. Day after day, she sat stupidly in front of the window, staring at the solitary small jujube tree with green leaves outside the window. She felt that the world had suddenly changed color, and the door to happiness that she had just opened was suddenly tightly closed! When no one was around, she took out the package left by Lu Jiachuan, holding it and thinking - not burning it according to his words, she still hoped he would come to take it. Soon, she became pale and haggard.

  "What's wrong? Why are you so worried?" Yu Yongze noticed Dao Jing's change and asked her one day. But she just shook her head and didn't say anything. However, Yu Yongze kept asking. She got annoyed and said in a huff: "It's not easy for anyone with a conscience! Who knows whether it's selling out or not?..."

  Yu Yongze glared with his small eyes, a smile containing sarcasm and disdain floating at the corner of his mouth: "Is it for your noble friend Mr. Lu again? ... In that case, I advise you to give up! How many people who are so reckless have a good ending?"

  Dào Jìng stared straight at Yú Yǒngzé. After a moment, she grabbed Yú Yǒngzé's arm and hastily asked: "Really? How do you know him?... Has he been caught?"

  Yu Yongze nodded with an air of proud confidence. He was determined to make Dao Jing desperate towards Lu Jiaxiang, although he wasn't sure if Lu had been captured or not, but still showed an air of knowing the secret.

  Dào Jìng could no longer bear it, she lay on the table, her hands clasped around her head as she sobbed quietly. For the misfortune of her deeply revered comrade, she no longer cared about Yu Yongze's ridicule and jealousy. Yu Yongze stood beside her, his thin lips tightly pursed in anger, finally he too could not bear it and burst out: "I don't believe your ***ism has such great power...... Ah, what a pity to be caught and unable to succeed...... Never mind, fortunately your 'comrades' are still numerous..."

  "Shut up!" Dao Jing burst into rage, jumping up. "I won't let you make fun of my suffering!" After a pause, she sobbed and said, "How heartless! A good young man is being taken away to his death, and you're still gloating and mocking..."

  "Get out!" She pushed Yu Yongze away with her hand and ran out of the house in an instant.

  In the evening when Daojing returned, both of them were crying - mourning their unfortunate union.

  Life is dull. Dao Jing feels like she's living on a deserted island with no family, no friends, and nobody to understand her pain and hopes. But one thing has made her realize that people who have different political views can't live together as "companions". Relying solely on emotions to maintain the relationship, fantasizing about peaceful coexistence without interfering with each other, is just self-deception.

  "Leave him, can't let him ruin my life!" Dao Jing's determination slowly matured.

  One day, Dao Jing took out the package left by Lu Jia Chuan again. She thought she should burn it away. He would never come back. With a nervous heart, she opened the package and immediately a bunch of red, green and white paper slips came out. Seeing these paper slips, she felt both sad and happy. "Friend, I seem to see you again!..."

  When Lu Jia-chuan had just handed these things over to her, she was eager to see what was inside, but she felt that it wasn't right to do so, and restrained herself, putting them away in a package of old cotton batting. Now she couldn't bear it any longer, she locked the door, spread out the papers on the table, and with a curious and excited mood picked up several of them to read. These papers were printed with slogans and catchphrases, the paper was thin, the characters were small, and on each oil-printed propaganda sheet were clearly written such phrases:

  Celebrate the great victory of the Red Army's crushing defeat of the Kuomintang's fourth encirclement campaign!

  The Chinese people have stood up and are fighting against Japanese imperialism!

  Long live the Communist Party of China!

  Long live the Chinese Soviet Government!

  ……

  There are also two longer propaganda materials, one is "Chinese *** Party North Peace Municipal Committee" and the other is "North Peace Anti-Imperialist Alliance".

  The Chinese Communist Party - what a familiar and great name it is! Dao Jing gazed at these words, tightly grasping the red and green paper slips, a kind of intoxicating sense of reverence washed away the anxiety that had been pent up in her heart for many days. It was as if she saw a long-lost loved one, and she couldn't bear to burn these precious items. She clutched the papers, thinking excitedly, suddenly realizing that her fate, through these red and green paper slips, through these words that provoked the reactionaries, had become linked with the fate of the Chinese Communist Party! They were now inseparable! She felt that being entrusted to preserve these things was her greatest honor and happiness. ...Thinking this way, she became happy again, and once more had hope for life.

  "What if I don't burn them?" She thought of this at night. He won't come to get them, it's dangerous and meaningless to leave them there, so she remembered Vera Pavlovna from Gorky's "Mother", who took the flyers to the factory and distributed them among the workers... "Yes, I should do the same!" Like a mischievous child thinking of a satisfying prank, like a warrior thinking of a good way to attack the enemy, she was so excited that she didn't sleep all night. But how to distribute them? Although naive, she still understood that this was dangerous. She thought hard, racking her brains for half the night, until she finally came up with a good idea for distributing the flyers.

  Then, three days later, such a thing happened.

  On a summer night, the sky was filled with twinkling stars, like fine sand scattered across the silver river that slanted across the blue heavens. The earth had already fallen asleep. Except for the gentle breeze blowing softly and intermittently, except for the occasional barking of dogs, the deserted streets were silent. At this time, in a few small alleys near the North Ping Sandy Beach, a young woman dressed in beautiful clothes was wandering back and forth - she seemed to be waiting for something, yet also seemed to be spying on something. She held a luxurious handbag in her hand, passing through one alley after another. When she heard what seemed like footsteps or some sound, she stopped, pressing her slender body tightly against the wall, tilting her head sideways and holding her breath. She listened intently, her big eyes shining brightly in the dark night, yet her heart was racing violently - she almost heard its thumping beat. But when she listened for a while and didn't hear anyone coming, she smiled innocently like a child. She took a deep breath, rested for a moment, then continued to move forward like a black shadow.

  What an unusual day! Dao Jing had never experienced such a tense and unsettling moment. Since she decided to sneak out at night to post flyers, her heart had been racing nonstop. She also thought about the danger of being caught, but Lu Jia-chuan's last words gave her strength: "As long as you don't lose faith in our cause, as long as you can persevere for the sake of future happiness..." Ah, these were unforgettable words, she remembered them firmly and was determined to fight fearlessly. So she busied herself preparing everything. She bought three bottles of glue, a pair of soft-soled shoes that made no sound, and thought of many ways to disguise herself in case she was seen, but none of them satisfied her. Finally, when she went to the landlord's house to borrow a small brush, she saw the landlord's wife wearing a pink tight-fitting cheongsam, with thick makeup and a seductive look, and her heart skipped a beat. This was when she decided to dress up as a flirtatious woman, even if it meant being mistaken for a streetwalker. At night, afraid that Yu Yongze would notice her and not let her out, she ran to the landlord's wife's room to get ready. She put on the light green cheongsam made by Yu Yongze, applied lipstick, changed into flesh-colored stockings, picked up a beautiful handbag, and became a lovely and flirtatious woman. The landlord's wife looked at her in this outfit, initially with a surprised expression...

  Because she is usually simple and not well-dressed. Then, based on her experience, she understood - "This must be going to a good meeting!" So she smiled at Dao Jing with a slanted eye, her mouth close to her ear: "Mrs. Yu, what's this?... Hehe, I understand - you have that too?"

  Dào Jìng was delighted that she had guessed correctly and smiled kindly at her. As he was about to leave, he whispered to her: "When Old Yu asks, just say I'll be back soon - thanks, sis!"

  She left, carrying the heart of a new warrior on her first battlefield, and that kind of nervousness when fighting alone. At first, she wandered around in various alleys, really like a night-walking woman looking for customers. Later, seeing no one around, she plucked up all her courage, took out the flyers with glue already applied, moistened them with saliva, and quickly stuck them to the wall. When sticking the first one, her hands kept shaking, and her legs were also weakening. At this moment, the faces of many young friends who had gathered together suddenly appeared before her - how good it would be if they were all here! Everyone would stick them up, and they would all be done in an instant! But now, in this dark night, she was alone. Lonely, terrified. She not only feared the police but also men who might treat her as a prostitute. After sticking several flyers and randomly shoving several into the doors of some households, she couldn't bear it anymore and hastily ran back.

  Exhausted. Lying on the 'bed', she seemed paralyzed and couldn't move.

  But the second night, she still went to post and distribute leaflets at the doors of residential households, and was no longer as flustered as on the first night. She turned into many small alleys and posted many. Because this time it was before dawn, the police patrolling at night were already tired, so she successfully distributed all the propaganda materials she had prepared and walked back home safely.

  The citizens who saw these flyers were shocked, as if a storm had passed.

  Young people curiously passed it around; timid old men were frightened and uneasy.

  "Are there more of them now?..." People were whispering to each other in surprise.

  Many middle school and university student unions also received a mysterious newspaper from an unknown sender. When opened, it contained several propaganda materials sent by the *** Party. The young people were thrilled and some of them couldn't calm down for many days, guessing what was happening. They believed that the *** Party had become active again and the *** high tide might have arrived once more.

  The walls of the streets, after discovering *** party's flyers early in the morning, couldn't help but shock the police, who angrily and timidly tore them off.

  Dào Jìng carried Yú Yǒngzé on her back, thinking of every way to distribute the flyers. In addition to the above method, she also sent these dangerous things to some people she knew who were more progressive. Although most of them had been distributed, Lú Jiāchuān still had some left over and didn't dare to scatter them all at once.

  It was unexpected that these small red and green paper slips would rescue her from a desperate state. For some days, she felt that everything was over for her, having lost the leadership of Lu Jia-chuan and the affection of the Party, feeling that she had once again become a dead water snail living in a narrow, airless world, with only one path to follow: being Yu Yongze's obedient wife, following him to glory and wealth, waiting to wear his velvet robes... But what a painful and frightening prospect it was! However, since thinking of distributing flyers as a solution, her spirit suddenly brightened! The more she distributed, the happier she became; the more she felt that she wasn't just shouting empty slogans - Yu Yongze often mocked intellectuals from petty bourgeois backgrounds for only knowing how to shout empty slogans - the more she rejoiced in being a useful young person.

  Not long after the summer vacation, in order to know the result of distributing flyers, she ran to Wang Xiaoyan's home to find her - Wang Xiaoyan is about to be a sophomore at Peking University.

  "Xiaoyan, I found something strange yesterday morning!" She said with a tense expression, grabbing Xiaoyan's arm.

  "What's wrong?" Wang Xiaoyan's eyes were round and became even rounder when she opened them wide.

  She looked at him calmly and quietly closed the book.

  "Look, how strange!" Dao Jing pulled out three flyers from his pocket, "Yesterday early in the morning I got up to take a walk, and as soon as I stepped out of the 'door' I saw these few pieces of paper..."

  She lowered her voice and leaned in close to Xiaoyan's ear, "Good grief! ***Party pamphlet, Chinese ***Party!"

  Wang Xiaoyan picked up the flyer and took a look, casually tossing it onto the table. "I thought it was some strange thing, but it's actually this - I've seen it before."

  "What a strange thing! Where did you see it?"

  Wang Xiaoyan didn't answer Dao Jing's question, opened the drawer and took out a bag of sugar: "Xiao Lin, have some sugar. This was just brought back by my dad from Shanghai. Why are you so interested in this flyer? Is that why you came to find me?"

  "I really find it strange, are there still so many *** parties now?"

  "I think there must be a lot." Wang Xiaoyan sat down quietly, eating sugar while speaking in a serious and measured tone, "Our student union had..."

  Before the holiday, I received a copy of Ta Kung Pao that had been rolled up and mailed to me. Inside it were three copies of this kind of thing - just like yours. Some classmates were both surprised and excited, while others were very scared. Later on, someone suggested posting it on the bulletin board, some people agreed, while others were afraid and disagreed.

  "What about you? Are you scared? You also have some work in the student union, right?"

  "What about me? Doesn't matter. Let them do whatever they want. But the next day, this flyer really appeared on the bulletin board. Classmates were all stirred up... The school authorities quickly tore it down, Principal Jiang Menglin was both angry and afraid. Now it's a big mess."

  Wang Xiaoyan swung her thick black hair, smiled slightly, and still maintained her dignified demeanor. Dao Jing was overjoyed! She threw her arms around Wang Xiaoyan's neck, her face smiling like a blooming flower: "Xiaoyan! Good Xiaoyan! This news is so exciting!"

  "What's wrong with you? Why are you so happy? ... Does this matter have anything to do with you?"

  Dào Jìng's emotions were in turmoil, she couldn't control herself anymore. She immediately confessed everything to Wáng Xiǎoyàn: "Xiǎoyàn, I'm telling you, but don't tell anyone else - it was me who sent those flyers!"

  "What? What did you say? — When did you join the *** Party?" Wang Xiaoyan was flustered by Lin Daojing's straightforward confession, staring at him in shock with her big round eyes.

  "I'm not *** Party!" said quietly and sadly shaking his head, "But I knew a friend of the *** Party - it's Lu Jiachuan whom I often mentioned to you. He left these flyers here, he was arrested and can't be found anymore... What's the use of keeping these things, that's why I thought of mailing them out."

  Wang Xiaoyan stared at Dao Jing without blinking, as if she was seeing a strange stranger for the first time.

  "Then why don't you burn it? It's very dangerous to leave this 'mess' around!"

  "No, Xiaoyan, you don't understand me!" She hugged Wang Xiaoyan's shoulders and said enthusiastically, "I'm not the same person I was last year. Doing these things makes me happy. But now it's also... difficult - my friends were all caught by the Nationalist Party... Hmph, they can catch them, but 'wildfires burn but don't destroy, spring winds blow and revive!' I believe they'll come back sooner or later!" Dao Jing raised her head to gaze at the floating clouds outside the window, but then lowered it as if lost in thought.

  Wang Xiaoyan was moved by her friend's bold and passionate spirit. She tightly held onto Dao Jing's hand, sighing softly as if to comfort him, saying: "Xiao Lin, I understand your personality - it's like fire. But you have to think about your future, ah... what kind of future is this?"

  "What's the future in always burying your head in books?" Dao Jing's expression turned serious, "The country is in such a critical state, society is so turbulent, don't you know the saying 'a nest of eggs cannot be safe under a crow's nest'?"

  "Hmm." The quiet Wang Xiaoyan fell into deep thought, and she didn't make another sound as if she had come to a realization.

  "Dawn, don't be dazed! If you don't object to me, considering our childhood friendship, can you help me out? " Dao Jing pushed Dawn and suddenly had an idea, "I still have some of these flyers in my hand, it's quite dangerous to keep them, can you help me spread them out?"

  Wang Xiaoyan looked surprised and hesitant, thought for half a day, but still shook her head: "No."

  Dao Jing got angry and stood up, walking away with his feet: "Still good friends..."

  "Alright, you take it from me." Xiaoyan pulled back and helplessly agreed, "I'll go find those classmates who posted the notices on the bulletin board. But to be honest, I really don't agree with your approach."

  Dào Jìng was so excited that she didn't hear what Xiǎo Yàn said afterwards. She jumped forward and tightly grasped Xiǎo Yàn's hand, repeatedly saying: "Really great! Really great! Xiǎo Yàn, you're really my good friend!... Later when my teacher Lú Jiāchuān comes out, I must introduce him to you."