Chapter 34: The Dark Troop's Ghostly Emblem

  It sounds like it's just a matter of course when you talk about it or hear about it, but the bitterness in between can only be understood by those who have experienced it.

  Whoever gets beaten hurts! The ancestors turned their heads, as if reviewing the history behind them. Unfortunately, there was no matching lighting and picture, resulting in a poor effect on the heroic scene.

  "The boundary of yin and yang, the Ghost Gate is the pass that leads to the underworld. Officially, it's a one-way gate, no return journey."

  The door-squeezing head ghost king is in charge of guarding the Ghost Gate. Because his head was squeezed by the door, he has an extraordinary hatred for the door, so he guards it very strictly. Without a road guide, do not enter the gate; without a pass from King Yan, do not leave the city.

  Some leaders have to walk through relationships, so King Yan suggests digging a dog hole in the corner of the Ghost Gate City Wall as a return path. However, the outsourced ghosts are not reliable, and this hole is indeed dug according to the size of a dog.

  That day, I accompanied the Tang King to the Ghost Gate Pass. When the Tang King drilled into the hole, he was stuck by the meat on his belly and was seen by the old dragon. He quickly called for help and summoned the 64 smoke dusts and the 72 bandits who had died miserably in the thousands to come and cause trouble.

  The King of Tang has been resurrected with half his body, but the lower half is still in the underworld. This group of ghosts has poor eyesight, and I've hinted many times that they haven't discovered the half-exposed buttocks on the ground belong to the King of Tang!

  That group of bastards only hit me once, but they were all fierce and ruthless! My intestines were exposed and they still grabbed me and beat me to death, and they only hit my face! Their hands were too ruthless!" Zuzong said while touching his face, I guess this swollen face was also a sequelae left at that time, caused by long-term swelling that didn't subside.

  The ten ghostly guards under the Ghost King of the Squeezed Door are unreliable, seeing a group fight, they start playing dead from ten meters away, and the Ghost King of the Squeezed Door is even more outrageous, pulling the ghostly guard's ankle to pretend to rescue, with very clumsy acting skills, leaving me unattended.

  Just as the fight was about to start, a ghost with a hemp stick emerged from that group of thugs, completely copying Hei Wuchang's appearance, with two whiskers and yellow teeth.

  You with your crooked moral integrity, dare to ask me: choose, are you going to take us on one by one or are we going to gang up on you? Facing provocation, I summon my courage and grab this hemp pole ghost, ready to break it in two. At that moment, I thought anyone who dared to show their face was an official, just like in the operas. I swing the hemp pole ghost and shout: whoever dares to come forward, I'll take care of them.

  It wasn't until that group of animals carried the bricks up to cover me that I realized this numb stick was because of a sudden death from drug addiction, and the goods that had just passed through the ghost gate were watching from the side.

  Those beasts were like they had taken stimulants, several rascals glared at me and rushed to my face as if they were about to pull down their pants and urinate. Listening to the ancestors' stories, it's really a group of beasts, doing such things without public morals.

  It seems that if it weren't for the ancestors' rich experience in the ghostly way, and using money to make ghosts push mills, I probably wouldn't be here today.

  As I accompanied my ancestors, they sighed and criticized the slow pace of quality construction, like an old ox's kung fu. My ancestor patted his head and shouted, "I almost forgot what was important, look at my memory! If you don't hurry up, I'll drag you back after you've crossed the ghost gate!"

  He said, his ancestors lifted their official robes, untied their pants, and inserted an entire arm, seemingly pulling something from the pant leg with great difficulty, the length of which suddenly made me feel ashamed.

  Who would have thought that their ancestors actually took out a black wooden box wrapped in a five-colored paper package from inside.

  "This is the Cui family's Yinbing Ghost Symbol, I forgot to give it to you. If not, you would have gone back and come again." Upon hearing this, I broke out in cold sweat, fearing that my ancestors might forget something else and find me again for nothing. I hastily reminded my ancestors to think carefully if there was anything else they had left unspoken.

  Who would have thought that the ancestor's majestic words were, "Can't remember, it's convenient to come to the land office, forgot this time, next time again, first talk about this ghost symbol." Listening to the foreshadowing and suspense left by the ancestors, I suddenly tightened my buttocks.

  I stared at this strange wooden thing in my hand and couldn't figure out what was going on.

  "This ghost symbol is only half, and the other half will be given to Tie Yi by his father, Tie Chong, in two days."

  Looking at this half-block of black material, about the size of a five-inch mobile phone, the pattern on it should be a turtle, and the iron-clad one is naturally a snake.

  The ancestors looked at me with a puzzled face and said, "This Cui family ghost token is also the tiger token of the Yinjian Iron Army. Only when you and the other half of the iron clothes merge can you mobilize the yin soldiers and iron army stationed in the Cui family cemetery."

  "If it's an ordinary day, you can also use it as a pass to enter the Ghost Gate, and when you want to bring your girlfriend to play in the underworld, just show this at the entrance of the Ghost Gate and you won't need to pay for tickets, enjoy VIP treatment."

  My ancestors' words made me stunned, which girl is willing to follow me through the ghost gate and play in the underworld?

  However, following the rhythm of the ancestors, I estimate that there are still more important functions that have not been mentioned. I eagerly want to inspire the ancestors: "With this Cui family ghost symbol, is there any superpower such as turning stones into gold, living forever, riding clouds and fog, changing shapes...?" So far, apart from reading hearts and souls, devouring the underworld, and blood river elixir, there are no other high-end techniques. I eagerly want to leave the camp of ordinary people.

  But little did I know that our ancestors' words would be a great disappointment to me:

  "You stinky kid, what are you thinking? Have you watched too many sci-fi movies? Didn't you fail your physics exam? I don't have any superpowers, so stop daydreaming. Do you remember the countless tombstones around Cui's house?" What's wrong with our ancestors asking this anyway?

  "I remember," I said with great disappointment.

  Those stationed under the tombstones are the Iron Family Army's Fengdu Branch, all of whom are members of the Tie family. They have been the shadow guards of the Cui family for generations, and are the strongest team after the Tie secret assassination group. One tombstone, one hero, one beacon fire, one glory. If it weren't for these resident dark troops, the Cui family would probably have become a well-known haunted house long ago.

  "Could this Ghost Token be used to mobilize those Iron Family Dark Troops?"

  "That's right!"

  I carefully examined the black token in my hand, with a relief of the Xuanwu diagram on the front and half of the command character on the back. Judging from the wood grain, it should be made of pagoda tree wood. Deploying troops and commanding generals is every man's dream, iron horses and golden spears, men's hot blood.

  But then our ancestor said something else that left me stunned.

  "This Ghost Symbol requires you and Tie Yi's two pieces to merge into one, which is Xuan Wu. It can only be used three times, so don't waste it unless absolutely necessary." After much difficulty getting something decent from the ancestors, who knew it was still a one-time use item.

  After finishing speaking, the ancestor let out a yawn. Now you have ignited the Xuanwu blood, possessed the Judge's Order, and learned the Soul Reading Technique. All of these are unprecedented among the descendants of the Cui family.

  I secretly gave you a nod and arranged for you to get a contract job as a yin officer, subordinate to my Urgent Summoning Court, also known as the Yang World Yin Officer.

  Because you have a big task to lift the curse, this errand won't arrange any specific tasks or indicators. The main job is that when you encounter some vengeful spirits or ghosts, you can help them vent their grievances and assist them, which also counts as doing public service. If we encounter any unexpected situations on this journey of lifting curses, I can openly ask the organization to handle it for you.

  "What rank of official am I in this life? A monthly salary of 10,000 spirit coins isn't bad either."

  "What are you thinking, the smallest denomination of hell's currency is 10,000, and the incense I gave you costs 1 million. You're now equivalent to a migrant worker in hell, with no status. After dying and becoming an official, you can become a clerk." Upon hearing my ancestor's words, I suddenly had the urge to go to the underworld to file a complaint.

  At this time, a ghostly figure rushed over and whispered something in his ancestor's ear. His ancestor said, "Go, become an official."

  On the road, the ancestor said: "When encountering ghostly affairs that can be handled, they must be handled. Those that need to be solved must be solved. This is our glorious duty and responsibility as a ghostly civil servant. Now, I will take you to participate in the oath-taking ceremony and sign the contract book. This contract book is your appointment letter. After signing the contract book, you are considered half-formal ghostly staff. When you die, you will be formally registered and have a ghostly staff quota!"

  In a venue similar to an ultra-large morgue, everywhere you look is white: white paper flowers, white window curtains, white mourning rods, white uniforms, and white soul-summoning flags.

  Black and white impermanence, ox-headed horse-faced, yin cao ghost messenger, Meng Po ghost servant, and many I've seen and haven't seen, long like humans and not human-like, specially attending and passing by, standing in a row behind me, following the ups and downs of the ancestral voice, reciting the Ghostly Oath one word at a time: "As a ghost messenger, I am proud, as a ghost messenger, I am honored, duang-ed a duang, duang-ed a duang! I voluntarily join the Yin Cao underworld, becoming a good servant for the benefit of ghosts, encountering evil ghosts directly slash, seeing wronged ghosts smile, staying away from greed, anger, and ignorance, eliminating eating, taking, and smoking, remembering the mission as a ghost, cherishing the leadership's teachings, trembling with fear, treading on thin ice, encountering injustice shout out loud, when it's time to take action, take action..."

  At this moment, I am filled with emotions. At this moment, I am overjoyed. My dream of becoming a civil servant has finally come true in the underworld. All I want to do is cry and comfort my shattered heart!

  When the oath was read out, the space was filled with the sound of firecrackers exploding, incense and paper money were scattered everywhere, the ghosts cheered, and the atmosphere was fiery.

  With a sorrowful expression, the joyful declaration ceremony came to an end. I held white paper flowers in my hands and wore white clothes and white gauze, receiving blessings from the ox-headed and horse-faced gods, the underworld officials, Meng Po, and the small ghosts who beat the soy sauce.

  Finally, I received from my ancestors a contract for being a ghost errand printed on five-color paper. At first glance, it was difficult to read due to numerous typos and corrections. After struggling to find the section on the rights of being a ghost errand, I found that it only stated that 10,000 hell notes would be issued on the first day of each month, with no other benefits. In contrast, the section on the responsibilities of being a ghost errand was densely packed with tiny characters. Sweating profusely, I looked at my ancestors' smiling faces and nodded in agreement. Following their pointing fingers, I signed my name in the blank space next to "Yangshi Yinchai" (阳世阴差), which meant that I would be a temporary ghost errand in the mortal world and officially become one after death.

  After going through all these procedures, I hugged the ghostly little ghosts on the scene one by one, feeling various strange flavors, holding my breath from time to time, and turning red like a cow's head, making a series of hums. The little ghosts in the field flattered me, saying that my official tone was really enough, almost choking me with laughter.

  After the ghosts dispersed, my ancestor pulled my hand and said, "Cui Ming, I've said so much today, I'm really tired. This afternoon I have an appointment with some old friends to play cards, let's stop here for now. I'll send you back, following my footsteps we walked along the Yellow Spring Road towards the Ghost Gate Pass.