Chapter Thirty-Three: Neck and Neck

  The sound of my ancestors scolding and tearing up books suddenly made me lose my composure.

  The ancestors' unbroken sentences, unpunctuated and uninterrupted tone, coupled with skipping unfamiliar ancient characters during recitation, made me collapse repeatedly, gaining nothing substantial. I understood some, but there were more that I didn't understand, all because of the damn standardized education system.

  "Can't read any more, this old lady's foot wrapping cloth is as smelly and long as it is incomprehensible to ghosts! Completely cheating the ghosts!" Along with a sigh, possibly due to excessive anger, using too much force, accompanied by thick smoke and sparks, the ancestor violently started coughing, bright flames, rolling thick smoke, giving off a sudden feeling of watching a meteor shower.

  I quickly clasped my hands together and made a wish! Bless my parents with good health, bless myself with smooth sailing in all things, bless Zhou Mo with happiness... Until the ancestors stopped coughing, the sparks disappeared, and I counted that I had made more than 20 wishes.

  "Let's just say that about 'Pushing Back Diagrams'. Professional books are best left to professionals, you and I only need to know the basics. It's good that Yuan Tiangai has some backbone, he's a reliable guy! If he had come begging directly, I would have taken the opportunity to show off my skills, a million cool punishments at once, but unexpectedly he managed to leave his soul on earth, so I couldn't bring myself to finish him off. Yan Wang was right, even without Yuan Tiangai, there might be other Tian Gais who could stir up trouble, this is fate! Coming out into the world, one must always pay back what they owe. Even high-ranking officials like our ancestors have their helplessness and compromises, that's just life."

  If you can't change it, adapt; if you can't retrieve it, move on.

  "The accumulated virtue of past lives responds, and the Buddhist scriptures are like jade relatives. At first, I deceived the ghosts to save King Tang, but now I'm being punished by the ghosts for my past life's karma. Even if there wasn't Yuan Tianpeng's one push, there would still be Wang Tianpeng and Li Tianpeng emerging." Reflecting on the ancestors' words, it indeed makes sense.

  Xu Jun has been living in the Cui family as an envoy since Yuan Tianxia's ascension to immortality, and has been responsible for bringing back members of the Cui family who are unaware of their identity due to the Wan Soul Curse. After all these years, his work has been quite responsible, with no great achievements but also no small mistakes!

  He is the earth soul of Yuan Tiangong, no longer in reincarnation, although he often hibernates in winter and occasionally loses contact, but this matter will not be discounted. Chunfeng's skills are no longer what they used to be, and now rely on Xu Jun as the military advisor."

  I recalled the state of that living dead person, with skin as white as paper, eyes without pupils, and a dark umbrella hat, looking like a ghostly figure. I suddenly felt a chill run down my spine. I thought to myself, what a close call, fortunately last time I didn't lay hands on him, or pinch him, or scratch him, otherwise the rest of my days would have been truly unbearable.

  "Ancestor, I heard Father say that Xu Bo is a heavenly ghost and an earthly soul, a body of ghosts and gods! This one ghost and one god, always feels strange, what exactly are these ghosts and gods?" Fortunately, Ancestor's mood changed from cloudy to clear, I quickly resolved as many doubts in my heart as possible.

  Having finished the obscure and confusing explanation of "Pushing Back the Picture", the ancestor cleared his throat and, with a mouthful of charcoal and firewood, said: "This ghost immortal is also called a ghost spirit. The 'Zhong Lü Transmission of the Daoist Canon' says that ghost immortals are one rank below the five immortals. These five immortals are heavenly immortals, earthly immortals, divine immortals, human immortals and ghost immortals.

  Like withered wood. The heart is like purple ash, the spirit and consciousness are guarded within, one will not scattered, it is a clear and spiritual ghost, not a pure yang immortal, because of its one will yin ling does not scatter, so it is called ghost immortal.

  Listening to the classical Chinese of our ancestors, a sense of professionalism and superiority suddenly arises.

  Ancestors took out their index fingers from their nostrils, and with a flick of their wrists, a bright red booger flew through the air and landed in Naihe's mouth with a "plop" sound! A rolling red mist burst forth!

  "Xu Jun, as a heavenly ghost of the Tian Gang Di Hun class, doesn't need to cultivate as a ghost. The moment he appears, he is already this ghost deity, wandering outside the three realms and transcending life and death. However, due to his weak physical body, he often enters a mechanical sleep state. He's a character who is okay at playing with intelligence but not good at playing with physical strength! There's nothing else that's particularly impressive about him!"

  "As for Xu Jun's matter, I'll discuss it with you later. Just remember that when it comes to lifting the curse of the Cui family's ten thousand souls, just listen to him and that's all! This old fellow will definitely try his best to help you. Only when the heavenly soul and earthly soul are united can the cultivation of Yuan Tian Gang be further advanced, so this old fellow is also anxious."

  It seems that what the ancestors said is just a lip service, I must stand on the side of despising Yuan Tiangong in order to please the ancestors. At this moment, I feel like my lost IQ has returned quite a bit.

  "Despise whoever deserves to be despised, but I am a leader with an open mind. As for ability, this old man Yuan Tianfang is indeed somewhat capable. His writing skills are not bad, and he has written several good books such as "Six Ren Lessons", "Five Elements Mutual Book", "Bone Song" and so on. He comes from a wealthy family."

  This old fellow's invention of the wind gauge is indeed extraordinary, and just by listening to the sound of the wind, he can predict good or bad luck. The techniques of grasping the wind, riding the wind, chasing the wind, and igniting the wind are truly remarkable. By observing the direction of the wind, one can know whether it's auspicious or not; by sensing the force of the wind, one can determine fortune or disaster. When speeding up, he is even faster than the wind. The Wind Gauge Department under his jurisdiction is a powerful and prosperous department in the Tang Dynasty, with plenty of money, people, and even young girls.

  But I just can't stand that old man, who has nothing to do with pretending to be a white-clad, completely imitating Xiao Bai Xie Bi'an. The taste, the eyesight, the height, the leg length, I'm so annoyed, it's killing me... "Zuzong's tone is strong and calm, but his expression is extremely ferocious, as if he wants to swallow that Yuan Tiangang alive!

  Judging by common sense, this sentence should be a compliment, but I couldn't hear any praise at all. Looking at the ancestor's attitude, I started to think about how to get along with Xu Bo in the future and what distance would be more appropriate. Should it be one meter or one and a half meters?

  The ancestors' facial features are like a mirror, reflecting the past. With a 45-degree sideways glance, he seems to be reminiscing about the tumultuous years of his youth. In a low voice, he says: "This old fellow has a mind full of schemes, and a belly full of bad water. Thinking back to those days, when Wu Zetian was still young, this old thing had already discerned that she had the facial features of a ruler."

  Because she's a girl, everyone thinks this old man is foolish and has poor investment vision. He keeps buying milk powder and toys to please her, I was wondering if he had some kind of weird hobby at the time?

  He likes me, I must not like it to make sense, so when I have nothing to do, I still tease that girl. The more he spoils me, the more vicious he becomes. This kid is sinister! Who would have thought that Wu Zetian, this girl, would actually become a leader?!

  "If Yuan Tiangong had informed me earlier, I would have been able to show my face and at the very least become a national teacher. When entering the underworld, my title could also be promoted several levels. In my last few years in the world of Yang, Wu Zetian wore all sorts of small shoes, buried me in all sorts of ways, and repaired me!"

  I didn't expect there to be such a twist, I was completely in the dark, and my ancestors didn't even give me a hint before jumping from "Tui Bei Tu" to a girl's body, this ability to run off track is simply phenomenal! No wonder Zhou Mo said I'm someone who's used to running off track, it seems I've finally found the root of it.

  "Despicable, shameless, and lowly, but surpassing ancestors, who is Wu Zetian?" This suddenly emerged name sounds a bit familiar.

  Looking at the black line of ancestors' expressions, I immediately started reflecting, even if I wasn't clear what to reflect on, but at least the expression was in place.

  "You're still a history major, don't you have some culture? Wu Zetian is just another name for Wu Meiniang, don't you even know that?! Nowadays, if it's not on the exam, nobody studies. You don't even know this basic common sense, what have you been doing all these years, wasting people's money and effort?"

  I said with a smile, "Ancestors, I'm studying Chinese, especially good at writing love letters and petty essays!"

  "Don't spout that nonsense about being a professional, just wasting time, spacing out, pretending to be cool, not producing anything, it's really hindering social progress...". Looking at my ancestor's expression, I didn't dare argue back and could only hang my head in shame and listen to their scolding.

  After scolding me for half a day, his tone suddenly changed: "But you haven't seen it before, so you don't know, Wu Zetian that little girl is getting more and more beautiful, that face, that figure, that dimension..." Looking at the stuff flowing out of my ancestor's nostrils like magma, I trembled with fear and said: "Ancestor, aren't you bleeding from your nose?"

  "Ancestors, are you kidding me? Have you ever heard of a ghost official bleeding from the nose? What kind of international joke is this?" But then the ancestor wiped his hand and said "Oh my god, it really did bleed! This flow has exceeded the traffic package, and I've even added extra compensation! I'm also confused, why does it always bleed when mentioning that little girl?"

  I hastened to flatter him by saying: "Because our ancestors were really men of Han!"

  Looking at the rolling nosebleed, the temperature is estimated to be around 800 degrees Celsius. Suddenly, I gave up on the idea of wiping my ancestor's nosebleed. Looking at my ancestor's blood-covered face, it was truly a pitiful sight!

  However, from start to finish, the ancestor's gloomy expression did not change. With a nosebleed, he said: "At that time, we were officials of the same dynasty. Because I was closer to Guoshi Li Chunfeng, I wasn't particularly impressed with this Yuan Tiangong. However, these two people's abilities are not inferior to each other, and there is something...

  I blurted out, "The feeling of being ruthless and poisonous in the east and west?" My ancestors patted their thighs, "Right, that's exactly what it means." I nodded with great satisfaction, saying that my reputation as a liberal arts elementary school tyrant was not in vain.

  "I'll tell you an interesting story about these two men, and you can roughly understand their abilities: "Yuan Tiangang and Li Chunfeng were both officials in the same dynasty, they were both knowledgeable and erudite high-ranking Taoists of the prosperous Tang Dynasty, assisting the sage ruler of the Great Tang, observing the world, discussing Daoist learning, and were considered to be earthly immortals, ranking among the celestial class was only a matter of time."

  On that day, Tang Emperor Li Shimin had Li Chunfeng and Yuan Tiangang go to inspect and choose a mausoleum dragon hole for him. First, Yuan Tiangang ran for 81 days, his legs became strong like a horse's, found the Jiuyong Mountain dragon hole auspicious land, and buried a copper coin.

  Taizong again sent Li Chunfeng out to search, Chunfeng was very cunning, riding a donkey, and after 49 days he found a place, then pulled out a silver hairpin from his head and inserted it.

  Witnessing the moment of miracle.

  The Tang Emperor had someone verify whether the dragon hole and auspicious soil chosen by the two were consistent, and as a result of digging, Li Chunfeng's silver hairpin was inserted into the square hole of the copper coin. Hearing my ancestor's words, I shouted "This is too damn ridiculous!"

  At this time, the ancestor looked at me and said, "Su Zhi, pay attention to Su Zhi. Since you are from Fengdu, don't be too careless. What's wrong with your skills?"

  "That year, when sending Emperor Taizong back to the world of the living, these two fairies ran so fast that they couldn't be found anywhere. I was the only one carrying Tang Wang and running hastily, making the ghosts chasing us cry without having time to cry. My achievement and title are clearly mismatched!"

  The scene of my ancestors' tears flowing horizontally, deeply imprinted in my mind. Since then, whenever I do good deeds, I must repeatedly emphasize my name, address and phone number, fearing mistakes, repeating emphasis.