Chapter Eighty-Seven: Cherish a Man's Tears (10)

  Dragging his heavy heart back to the dormitory, Chen Haonan didn't say a word and directly climbed onto the bed and lay down. The other brothers in the dormitory were still chatting freely and laughing loudly from time to time. Perhaps nonsense talk was the patent of people at this age, they liked to mess around for no reason, carefree and happy. However, the topics they chatted about were generally limited to three points:

  Firstly, it is about discussing major international events, where everyone expresses their own views, which are actually absolutely absurd and unfounded opinions.

  Secondly, observe the teachers or leaders in school and see which ones have ambiguous relationships with each other, or their strange behaviors.

  Third, that is the big talk about girls, which may be the most important point: boys' dormitory talking about girls, this is almost an eternal topic, and also the most interesting topic for everyone.

  The three major topics above, Chen Haonan was not very interested, he thought most of their opinions were just nonsense. However, he didn't oppose them either, after all, young hearts like to daydream and fantasize, and it's normal for people to mess around aimlessly when they have nothing better to do. Sometimes, he would also unconsciously join in, either by echoing a few words of agreement or following up with some irrelevant sentimental remarks.

  However, tonight, facing the roommates' unscrupulous teasing, Chen Haonan couldn't get a word in edgewise - he lay quietly, his eyes fixed on the dark ceiling. The dark ceiling seemed like a black hole, deep and bottomless - through the black hole, Chen Haonan's heart seemed to drift away to a very distant place, he wanted to hide, never to come back again. But reality was ruthless and pulled his heart back, he knew that Lin Yufei had become his inescapable nightmare...

  These days, Lin Yufei's figure has been lingering in Chen Haonan's mind, her face, her smile, her words, everything about her has been flashing before his eyes, vague and unclear, yet so real. Especially when he thinks of Lin Yufei's illness, Chen Haonan suddenly feels a sharp pain, to the point where sometimes he is secretly heartbroken and feels deeply distressed. Fortunately, during class, he can calm down slightly and temporarily put aside the sadness in his heart.

  Every time before going to sleep, Chen Haonan would involuntarily look out the window at the dark night sky, clasp his hands together, bow his head and silently pray for Lin Yufei's blessings: he felt this was the only thing he could do!

  However, more prayers and blessings still couldn't bring good news...

  The angel star fell quietly. The news of Lin Yufei's death was still conveyed by Ouyang Yiweng. When Chen Haonan heard the news, his heart suddenly froze and stagnated, and his entire thinking almost came to a standstill. Looking at Ouyang Yiweng's tearful eyes, his mouth corner slowly opened after a long time, and it took him another half day to squeeze out a few words: "Yufei really...really left?" At this moment, his tears also blurred his eyes.

  However, Ouyang Yiweng just tightly bit her lip, tears streaming down, and no longer gave Chen Haonan any answer...

  The news of Lin Yufei's passing quickly spread throughout Class 214, and everyone was discussing it in hushed tones, all feeling sorrowful and regretful. In fact, everyone knew that although Lin Yufei appeared cold on the surface, her heart was actually warm and passionate. Whenever a classmate felt down, she would quietly write a few words of comfort and encouragement on a small piece of paper... But now, Lin Yufei had suddenly left just like that, how could it not make people feel sad and heartbroken? Even some girls burst into tears in the classroom as soon as they heard the terrible news.

  But things have come to this, and no one can change anything. Under the proposal of Class Director Wang Ze, the class is preparing to organize people to pay their respects. But who will be sent? On this point, Wang Ze's heart seems to be uncertain.

  After self-study one evening, Wang Ze went to find Chen Haonan - Wang Ze in front and Chen Haonan behind, the teacher and student walked slowly on the track of the playground, one in front of the other...

  Wang Ze clenched his teeth on the cigarette holder, looking very serious. After a long while, he stopped and took two steps back, saying to Chen Haonan: "This time, our class will organize a few people to pay condolences to Lin Yuwei, this matter is handed over to you, and how about Ouyang Yiweng?"

  "Hand, hand it over to me?" Chen Haonan's mouth was a bit stiff, and the anxiety in his heart made him even more tongue-tied. "I, I don't know how I can go... I, I think I won't be able to go... seeing Yu Fei makes me feel guilty... I, I, I..."

  "How can you feel guilty?" Wang Ze sighed deeply. Under the moonlight, he looked at Chen Haonan's restless face and hurriedly said: "How can you think like that? You are representing your classmates to go, it is to express all the friendship and feelings of the class towards Lin Yu Fei - how can you have a guilty feeling?"

  "I think... I don't think you know what's going on between me and Yu Fei, do you, teacher?" Chen Haonan said, glancing at the class advisor. After a pause, he continued, "I really want to see her one last time, but I'm afraid that if I see... her body, I won't be able to control myself. After all, I've done so many wrong things, so many..."

  "What's going on between you two? Maybe... maybe I, as your class teacher, also know a thing or two..." Wang Ze's hand gently patted Chen Haonan's shoulder, and he slowly said, "But don't let this weigh on your mind. Who can say what's clear when it comes to the affairs of youth? I think Lin Yufei hopes you'll go see her one last time... even though she's already closed her eyes. I think she also hopes to leave with the scent of your breath, and head towards the resting place of her soul..."

  "Teacher Wang, please don't say anything else..." Chen Haonan looked at Wang Ze with pleading eyes, "I'm really confused, I don't know what to say, but I really, really don't want to see Yu Fei lying there coldly... Really, I'm so scared, I'm so afraid..."

  Looking at the muscles on Chen Haonan's face slowly twitching, Wang Ze quickly felt his anxiety, and he almost heard his rapid heartbeat - he thought that if he added anything else to him, he would push him into a dangerous situation. With a light sigh, Wang Ze had no choice but to say: "Then you go back first..."

  "Then I'll go first, teacher!" Chen Haonan immediately replied to the class teacher and quickly ran away. However, just as he turned around, his tears burst out.

  As he watched Chen Haonan's receding figure, Wang Ze's heart became even more complicated. He could only take out another cigarette and light it quickly: he wanted to find something in the smoke...

  Because of Lin Yufei's affair, coupled with Chen Haonan's painful rejection, Wang Ze couldn't sleep all night, and it wasn't until after 3 am that he fell into a daze.

  At this moment, the shrill trumpet sound mixed with the piercing whistle suddenly rang out. Wang Ze rubbed his crimson tired eyes and hastily got up...

  After the morning exercise, classmates walked into the classroom one after another. Wang Ze stood in the corridor with a cigarette in his mouth and saw Ouyang Yiweng walking over. He quickly extinguished the cigarette butt - he timely intercepted her.

  Following the class teacher to a corner of the corridor, Ouyang Yiweng stared at him in a daze. For the past two days, due to Lin Yu's death, she was extremely sad and always quietly wiping away tears. Last night, she didn't sleep well, and her entire pillow was soaked with tears. So, waking up early this morning, her whole head was dizzy, but seeing the class teacher looking even more exhausted, she could only hold on tight, trying not to let her body shake.

  Soon, Wang Ze took out another cigarette, but he didn't light it immediately. He held the cigarette on the railing and gently shook it a few times. After a while, he slowly put the cigarette to his mouth and lit it with a lighter after several attempts...

  He puffed out a smoke ring, turned around to look at Ouyang Yiweng, and slowly said: "You see... which classmates in the class are more suitable for condoling Lin Yuwei..." His words were almost one word at a time. When he said this, he really wanted to slap himself hard, because it was extremely contradictory to his usual character of being stern and efficient. However, at this moment, facing his own student, he still did so.

  From the tone and expression of the class teacher, Ouyang Yiweng seemed to feel something vaguely. She took a glance at the class teacher, thought for a moment with her head tilted, and immediately spoke up: "If only one person is allowed to go, then that person must be Chen Haonan——"

  "But Chen Haonan refused to go!" Wang Ze quickly interrupted Ouyang Yiweng's words, "I talked to him for a long time last night, but he just didn't want to go - seeing how difficult it was for him, I couldn't force him too much as his teacher..."

  "How could Haonan be like this?" Ouyang Yiweng stomped her foot in anger, "He should know how important it is for him to see Yu Fei off on his last journey, for Yu Fei and for himself!"

  Wang Ze was getting anxious, he threw away the cigarette butt and hastily continued: "This is not the time to blame Chen Haonan, besides, he really has his own difficulties, we can't force him! What's most important for us now is to confirm the relevant personnel - tomorrow is Lin Yufei's funeral day, today must confirm the relevant personnel, tomorrow morning on behalf of all classmates to pay condolences... think again, in addition to you and Hu Jing, who else is more suitable to go?"

  "Chen Haonan is the most suitable person, if he doesn't go, no one else will be suitable..." Ouyang Yiweng said, her voice unconsciously rising. At this moment, her emotions were very complicated, with anger towards Chen Haonan, regret for Lin Yufei, and helplessness towards the class teacher...

  "But Chen Haonan just didn't want to go—"

  "It's okay, I'll take care of this. I think he'll listen to me - he just hasn't untied the knot in his mind yet!" Ouyang Yiweng's heart slowly calmed down, and her tone also became smoother. "Actually, I know Haonan is also very anxious, but Rain's passing was too sudden, and he can't accept it for now. He doesn't want to face this reality even more - I think...I'll go talk to him again, and he'll definitely go!"

  "Alright, I'll leave it to you then!" Wang Ze's heart felt a slight sense of relief, because he absolutely trusted this student in front of him. He believed in her intelligence and abilities, and he also knew more or less about her relationships with Chen Haonan and the others: perhaps their young hearts could really understand each other...