Chapter Thirty-two Xia Xian's Thoughts

  "After every breakup, people will compare their current partner with the previous one. Xiaoxiao, I think no one is better than you, but Yang Yanjie won't think so. Your world is too simple, while his world is too complicated. If he pulls you into his world, undoubtedly you will bear the most. Xiazhen still has full confidence in her dear friend, even if she has a small temper, even if she has a small personality, her goodness is something that no one can deny."

  "At first, he asked me if my parents would like him, and what to do if they didn't. I've thought about these things before, if we truly love each other, then I have the confidence to be with him, but now it seems like either we don't love each other or we don't trust each other, because until now, we still haven't been together." Mo Xiao said with a faint smile.

  "You're still using 'until now', what else are you expecting, do you think you'll end up together in the end?" Xia Xuan had nothing to say to Mo Xiao Xiao anymore, five years had passed and there was no response, did he really think they would end up together?

  "Xuan Xuan, do you think he's really sick?" Mo Xiao asked suddenly.

  No one around Mo Xiao had ever believed it, from start to finish, not even Zhu Xiang Meng had believed it, and Zhu Xiang Meng even thought it was a scam, but Mo Xiao had never doubted anything.

  "Whether we believe or not isn't the most important thing, what's key is that you believe it, and then everything becomes true." Xia Xuan herself didn't know if she believed it or not, she didn't dare to jump to conclusions easily, because Mo Xiao's thoughts were too simple, she didn't want her to think about the complexities and darkness of human society.

  "Do you believe he's really dead?" Mo Xiao continued to ask.

  "I don't believe it." Xia Xuan's answer was quite straightforward this time.

  Mo Xiao didn't say anything, she just quietly waited for Xia Xuan's next explanation. Whatever Xia Xuan said must have had her reasons, because she never spoke without basis.

  "It's the same old saying, a dead person won't be able to change their phone number or turn off their machine. If you think he's really gone, I can search through all the cemeteries in Beijing for him. Even if he wasn't buried domestically, I should still be able to help you look into it. After all, canceling a household registration is something that needs to be reported to the public security bureau, so I should be able to find out." Xia Xian said calmly.

  She believed that Yang Yanjie was alive just like Mo Xiao thought Yang Yanjie was alive, without any doubt or consideration, being alive is simply being alive.

  "Xiao Xiao, if he's married now, what would you do?" Xia Xian knew this was a question that had to be faced and asked.

  "If I said it, you wouldn't believe me?" Mo Xiao Xiao smiled helplessly.

  How deceitful this smile is! Mo Xiao, do you still believe he's not married yet? He already had a girlfriend when he left you, how could it be possible that he's still not married now?

  "I advise you to believe it's better, because we have to prepare for the worst. I'm afraid you can't bear such a blow." Xia Xuan shook his head, looking very worried.

  "I never thought... " Mo Xiao didn't want to say out her own plans, because her plans were so selfish and unreasonable.

  "You've thought about it, you've been thinking about it for five years, but you didn't dare tell yourself that your thoughts might be true, so you just muddled through. Xiao Xiao, no matter what your plans are, if you think this is worth it, then wait; if you don't think it's worth it, giving up will be a relief for you." How could Xia Xuan not see through Mo Xiao Xiao?

  Mo Xiao Xiao is a typical single-celled flatworm in Xia Xian's eyes, she doesn't think about anything, doesn't worry about anything, to outsiders it seems like she's above the world, nothing matters to her, maybe because she's afraid that if she puts things on her mind, she'll lose them too quickly, she won't dare to anymore.

  Mo Xiao smiled bitterly, liberation? How is that possible! Early on when Yang Yanjie was preparing for surgery, he told her that if he died it would be a kind of liberation for Mo Xiao, but how could Mo Xiao believe he was dead?

  Even if Yang Yanjie really passed away, for Mo Xiao Xiao, that would be a lifelong nightmare, because she would feel that she drove him to death, and she couldn't forgive herself.

  "Have you been to a bar before?" Xia Xuan asked with raised eyebrows.

  I don't know why Xia Xuan asked Mo Xiao Xiao this question, Mo Xiao Xiao would naturally not go to that kind of place. In the past it was because she didn't dare to go, after getting to know Yang Yan Jie, because Yang Yan Jie said he wouldn't allow her to go alone, even if she went, in the future it would be him taking her there.

  But what about the future?

  Yang Yanjie, what promises have you made for Mo Xiao's future?

  "No." Mo Xiao Xiao answered very honestly, she didn't understand why Xia Xian was doing this, anyway she knew that Xia Xian was good to her, just like Yang Yan Jie being good to her was the same reason, they were both people she loved most.

  Perhaps Mo Xiao had been there before, but only once, and that one time was enough to make it unforgettable for her, because from then on, she knew that maybe some things, her persistence was right.

  "I'll take you there." Xia Xuan stood up, picked up his bag and walked ahead.

  Mo Xiao was stunned for a moment, standing there motionless. Go to the bar? Why? What did Xia Xuan want to tell her?

  "I want you to understand what his world is like," Xia Xuan said lightly.

  Mo Xiao Xiao, if you don't understand his world, even if you're together in the future, you won't be happy. Since you have such extravagant hopes, I'll fulfill your dream.

  Of course, I hope you will be together.

  He, his world is not as simple as you imagine, the laughter and cheerfulness in front of you are absolutely not what you see, it's a strong smile under disguise. Maybe he doesn't want to worry you, or maybe he doesn't want you to witness what he has been through.

  Because he wants to protect his loved one.

  Maybe I'm just overthinking it.

  Xiao Xiao, perhaps what you lost to Luo Yan is not concern or care, but a kind of closeness. Maybe Luo Yan has experienced society and can give Yang Yanzhe the most direct comfort and clearest warmth, while you are different. You have lived worry-free for 20 years under the protection of your family, you don't understand human suffering, nor do you understand his helplessness.

  But Yang Yanjie, do you understand? Mo Xiao is changing for you, her world is pure and innocent, she doesn't want you to see the darkness! She's illuminating your life!

  "Xuan Xuan, thank you." Mo Xiao Xiao was very grateful to this close friend. Xuan Xuan, you always provide me with the warmest help when I am most at a loss and helpless.

  But Mo Xiao didn't know that Xia Xian was also struggling, she didn't know whether to let Mo Xiao see these things that were good or bad for her. Mo Xiao, if you really like Yang Yanjie, one day you won't hate me.

  It's probably not as simple as you think, the worst outcome I can think of, I won't tell you now, I'll help you investigate, even if you don't want to, it's my business, in my world, you are important.

  Xuan Xuan, I'm really grateful for everything you've done for me. No matter what the reason is, there's only one thing I know - you're genuinely good to me. These goods are treasures that I can hardly get in this life and the next. Thank you.