20

  32. That year, Lu You and Fu An Dong were both close to graduation, so the three words "finding a job" were everywhere in my life. Lu You's internship at the investment bank was very tiring, often having to work overtime until midnight before returning to "Cai Man Street". He originally didn't like talking much, and when he came back he was already exhausted, just washing up and going straight to bed to sleep.

  Our time together is very limited. Most of the time I couldn't even make it until he fell asleep after coming home, and if there weren't morning classes, he would have already gone to work by the time I woke up in the morning.

  He called him during the day, and before he could even exchange a few pleasantries, Lu You had to hang up in a hurry because of work.

  I had to find Fu Andong and Zhang Xiaoyan, these friends who only care about having fun. Fu Andong is much more carefree than his peers, he might never know the normal process of finding a job in this lifetime. When Lu You was struggling with her internship, Fu Andong was hanging out with friends, chatting and driving around. When Lu You was writing resumes, taking written tests and going to interviews, Fu Andong was still hanging out with friends, chatting and driving around.

  Just after November of that year, Fu Andong made a triumphant phone call saying he had found a job and invited everyone to dinner.

  This is a big deal, because I thought Fu Andong would take over his father's legacy and enter the civil service system of our country to serve the nation and the people in the future. But unexpectedly, Fu Andong went to a financial institution. From this, I predict that in the future, Fu Andong will promote even closer cooperation between officials and merchants, with no distinction between you and me.

  Fu An Dong invited everyone to dinner at Quanjude, after drinking wine his face turned red and people who didn't know thought it was a full moon party.

  I was seated alongside Lu You. I raised my glass in a toast to Fu Andong: "Congratulations, your life is about to start a new chapter."

  Fu An Dong happily finished his drink and asked: "Shen Shen, we plan to travel in Europe before graduation, do you want to come with us?"

  Zhang Di, who lives in the same dormitory as An Dong, also said: "Right, right, you should come together. Our Dong Ge will definitely not be lonely. If not, he will definitely get stuck in the red light district."

  I laughed and joked with them: "Hehe, since I'm so important that I can lead your life back on track. You should at least cover my flight and hotel, right?"

  Fu An Dong burst out laughing: "No problem, I'll treat you! How about it, are you coming or not?"

  I rolled up a roasted duck and ate it: "See if I have time or not."

  Fu An Dong said: "Xu Shen Shen, you're wrong about this. I'm being very sincere in inviting you, and you just brush it off with a single sentence."

  I smiled and turned to ask Lu You: "Do you want to go? Otherwise, we can go to Europe together to celebrate your graduation. It's just in time to meet with Ah Dong and the others."

  Lu You thought for a moment: "I might not have had time back then."

  "Why? Everyone goes on a graduation trip before graduating."

  "I want to intern, but now the company has several projects and I estimate I won't be able to leave."

  Lu You has been busier and busier since his internship, even when we live together, the time we spend together is sparse. Originally, I thought that after he settles down at work, we can spend a happy period of two-person world together, but he undoubtedly poured a basin of cold water on me.

  I said: "Are you sure this job can stay?"

  Lu nodded: "I talked to my supervisor last week and it's basically settled."

  "Now that it's confirmed we can stay, isn't this the perfect chance to take a break? Let's go out and have some fun with everyone, or else this opportunity will be gone forever."

  Lu You didn't say yes or no, but smiled and pinched my face: "Then I have to make money."

  "It's just half a year, and it doesn't matter about the few thousand yuan each month."

  He smiled helplessly: "I'm not a freshman, I've been on a graduation trip during my undergraduate studies. Otherwise, let's wait until you graduate and we'll have a good time traveling together, okay?"

  I'm disappointed: "You mean wait until I graduate? That's two years from now..."

  He looked at me: "Do you really want to go?"

  I nodded heavily: "Right. We've never gone out and played together as two people before."

  Lu You smiled lightly and said: "Alright then, we'll go together next year."

  Fu Andong made this meal quite lively, setting up three tables. He kept switching between the three tables, so by the end of the meal, I didn't even know which company he was going to. Of course, I think only Fu Andong himself is clear about it among all the people present.

  The weather started to get cold, and it was just a blink of an eye that I changed from sandals to ankle boots. When the campus path was covered with fallen leaves, I decided to knit a scarf for Lu You.

  This activity of knitting scarves seems to have quietly swept through the girls' dormitory, bringing it back to the era before reform and opening up. Those who are in love knitted for their current boyfriends, those who aren't in love knitted for their future boyfriends, even the auntie downstairs who guards the door is participating day and night, saying she wants to knit a scarf for her son.

  Fu An Dong found out about this matter afterwards, and for three seconds he was stunned: "Xu Shen Shen, you said you were knitting a scarf?"

  "Right. I want to finish it before Christmas, so don't come looking for me for anything else, I'm busy."

  "Let's not talk about the thing you knitted, whether that person in your family can wear it or not is a fact that is hard to face. Just talking about knitting scarves itself, it neither creates GDP nor contributes to our country's cultural industry. What do you think is the point of it?"

  I said while knitting, "You don't understand. If there's a girl who is willing to spend a month knitting a scarf for you, bringing warmth on cold winter days. Think about it, how thoughtful is that."

  "Really thoughtful... 50 yuan a piece when you go out and turn right, the warmer the better."

  "You're so unromantic. We're talking about love, not money."

  Fu An Dong helplessly said: "Whatever you want. Make it a bit bigger, later on it can still be used as a pillowcase."

  On Christmas Eve, I made an appointment with Lu You to have dinner at a Sichuan restaurant. Through the window, you can see that the shops on both sides of the street are decorated in a very foreign style, with colorful lights and small gift boxes hanging from the Christmas tree; even in the Sichuan restaurant, the waiters wore red Santa hats, and lively and cheerful New Year's tunes were playing around.

  Lu You was late for a long time, and I asked the waiter to change three cups of water before he hurried over.

  He handed me the menu: "Sorry, I've been delayed. Take a look at what you'd like to eat?"

  I looked at him with a worried expression and asked: "What's wrong?"

  He rubbed his temples: "There's something going on at the company..." Lu You never liked to talk about work, so he just glossed over it. He looked up at me: "You must be starving, hurry up and order."

  After the dishes were served, I happily took out a wrapped scarf from my backpack and gave it to him: "A Christmas gift for you."

  He unfolded it and asked me: "Did you weave this?"

  "How did you know?"

  He pushed his glasses: "I think this density is different. If it's sold in a mall, it's too personalized."

  "Heh heh, then when you go out later, just put it on. This color is quite suitable for the occasion."

  He nodded: "Good."

  I waited for a while and didn't see him react. I couldn't help but ask: "You... aren't going to give me anything?"

  Lu You lightly paused, "Sorry, Shen Shen. I've been too busy lately and didn't take care of it."

  "Oh..." A sense of loss came rushing in, as if it had been hovering above me for a long time, just waiting for his words to trigger its arrival.

  Lu You poured me a glass of orange juice, "Are you angry?"

  "It's okay."

  I tried hard not to think about this topic, "Right, after dinner let's go watch a movie."

  He faintly replied to me: "Okay."

  After dinner, it's almost 10 o'clock. Couples can still be seen on the roadside, smiling and chatting sweet nothings to each other, with some girls holding bouquets of flowers.

  I walked side by side with Lu You, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of people, but I could still hear the sound of our footsteps, which were not quite in sync...

  Beijing's winter is very windy, and today there are still some snowflakes floating around, adding a touch of romantic atmosphere.

  I blew a breath into my palm and stomped my foot, saying to Lu You: "It's so cold!"

  His glasses were misted over with a layer of water vapor, making it impossible to see his eyes, and his heart.

  Lu You took off the scarf from his neck and wrapped it around my hands, "Is this better?"

  I smiled and said: "Lu You, I can't see your eyes clearly." I reached out to wipe his glasses lens, then took the opportunity to wrap my arms around his neck.

  He picked me up in his overcoat and spun around on the spot.

  I shouted in fright: "Lu You, be careful, it's snowing and the road is slippery!"

  Lu You smiled twice, "I didn't expect you also have a timid side sometimes."

  I stood unsteadily and hastily grabbed his arm, "I was just thinking that if we fell to the ground with all these clothes on, the entire capital would be shaken."

  Lu You didn't respond, just smiled at me with his eyes, the white mist exhaled onto his glasses. I reached out to wipe it away, but after a short while, it fogged up again. Layer by layer, as if nothing could be seen through clearly.

  Several cinemas around were packed, we almost ran through the whole Chaoyang District but couldn't find a movie with available seats, so we had to go home with nothing.

  After washing up, I sat on the bed blowing my hair and said, "How about we go to soak in a hot spring next week?"

  Lu You sat in front of his desk writing an email, I could only see his back.

  "He seemed to think for a moment: 'I may not be able to make it next week.'"

  "Need to work overtime?"

  He raised his hand to support his forehead, softly sighing, "Mm."

  I'm a bit disappointed: "Can't you just accompany me on a short trip?"

  Lu You was facing the screen as if writing some documents, without turning back: "It's really been too busy lately."

  I turned off the hair dryer: "When are you not busy?"

  "What's wrong?"

  I sat on the bed, staring straight at him: "Lu You, can you tell me a specific time when you're not busy?"

  Lu You furrowed his brow and sighed: "Everyone's been busy lately, let's talk about it after the new year."

  "So you're saying that your colleagues don't need to fall in love or get married? The more I think about it, the more wronged I feel. I said let's go on a graduation trip, but you were so unwilling; I said let's spend Christmas together, and as a result, the restaurant was booked by me, and you were late for an hour; even when I suggested taking three days off to go to the suburbs for a hot spring, you didn't have time. Other girls get gifts on Christmas, but I waited all night, and in the end, you just said you were too busy and forgot..."

  I wiped away tears and continued, "I don't know if you're considering too many things... but can you tell me, among the things you're thinking about, is there anything related to me?"

  From the moment I started liking Lu You, the balance between us was lost. I'm very clear that emotions don't care about equality, but after investing so much, I gradually began to look forward to a response.

  Lu You took off his glasses and rubbed his eyebrows: "Sorry, Shen Shen. How about we go to the hot springs next week?"

  I'm disappointed," I said. "I didn't say those things earlier to make you compromise. How come it feels like all of this is what I wanted?"

  Lu You walked over and sat down beside me, his tone gentle but unable to conceal his fatigue: "Then what do you want me to do?"

  "I don't know...", I couldn't calmly look him in the eye, "but I think if you truly like someone from the bottom of your heart, you'll naturally want to be good to them, want to be with them every moment, and want to do anything that makes them happy. That's how much I like you... how about you?"

  Suddenly, I didn't want to hear Lu You's answer. Is it that after people fall in love, they all become anxious and fearful? A long time ago, as long as I thought about the possibility of being with Lu You one day, it was enough to satisfy me, making me work hard for it and be sorrowful for it; but now I suddenly lost that courage, not even daring to verify whether he likes me or how much he likes me, afraid that with his answer, my love would come crashing down.

  Lu You's hand grasped my shoulder, "I am..." Before he could finish speaking, I leaned in and kissed his lips. At first, he was taken aback, then slowly responded to me, this kiss seeming to last a very, very long time, the room falling silent, with only our breathing sounds audible.

  It was probably from when I took off his shirt that Lu You regained the upper hand. It could be seen that he was particularly tired today, but still did enough foreplay before slowly entering, during which we didn't have any dialogue, everything was like a silent film, until it was over and he lightly patted my shoulder, whispering in my ear: "Shen Shen, do you want to go wash up together?"

  I turned my back on him and curled up in a ball, closing my eyes and pretending to be asleep.

  He didn't ask again, and after getting out of bed and washing up, he still returned to his desk, turned on the desk lamp, and seemed to continue working from before.

  That night I barely slept, expecting Lu You to give me a hug; but he worked late into the night, finishing at nearly 4 o'clock.

  The week after that, we didn't go to the suburbs for hot springs as originally planned because Lu You told me he had an important meeting that day.

  I called An Dong and asked him to take me out for some fun. But after meeting at Starbucks, I burst into tears. An Dong handed me a box of tissues, sat beside me with his arms around me, watching me cry without saying a word.

  I was tired of crying and said to him: "How about we go to the Forbidden City instead?"

  "Alright, the Forbidden City closes at 3:30 pm. If we make it there before noon, you can still cry in front of the Palace of Earthly Tranquility for three hours."

  The first time I seriously listened to Fu Andong's car audio, the effect was really good. In the car, Adele's "Love Song" was playing, and when we encountered a traffic jam, Fu Andong leaned on the steering wheel, staring into the distance with furrowed brows.

  I rarely see him so solemn, I don't know if he deliberately took this route to contrast with me.

  After a long pause, Fu Andong finally spoke up: "Xu Shenshen, I think you and Lu You are not suitable for each other."

  "Why?"

  He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and turned to look at the traffic on the left: "Do you think it's fun with him?"

  "It's okay..."

  "Think about it yourself, you two have only known each other for a year, and in this time, how many tears have you shed. More than all the years I've seen, added together."

  I sighed: "Dating is always like this..."

  Fu An Dong smiled: "That's right. I haven't spoken, I don't have the right to speak."

  I changed the subject: "When did you start working?"

  "After the New Year's holiday is over, they told me to go ahead and get familiar with the business."

  "Which company are you from?"

  Fu An Dong pointed to a building in the distance with an unusually large logo on it, "Zhongtai Securities Company."

  I was taken aback, "Huh? Lu You is also in this company, aren't you going to be colleagues from now on?"

  "Is that so? Which department is he in?"

  "Investment banking department, as a research analyst." I thought for a moment and smiled: "The world is really small, you two will be colleagues in the future. It's also good to have someone familiar who can take care of each other, otherwise with your brain, who knows how long you'll last before getting fired."

  Fu An Dong sneered: "Cut it out. Say whatever you want."

  It was a long journey, and we finally arrived at the Palace Museum at half past twelve. Now it's winter, even in front of the palace gate, it's slightly deserted.

  I and Pei Andong were walking back and forth in this vast palace, passing by every grand hall, looking from afar at the majestic throne of ancient emperors and the intricately decorated corridors, my mood gradually becoming more relaxed.

  I smiled back at Andon: "I think it's much better."

  Fu An Dong raised his head and asked me: "I'm going to ask you something."

  "You said."

  Fu An Dong rubbed his nose: "What exactly do you see in Lu You?"

  I thought about this issue seriously and recalled the past year since I got to know Lu You: "I think he is especially serious, hardworking, doing everything to the best, no matter how hard it is for himself, that's my ideal image of an excellent man."

  Fu An Dong coughed twice and said, "Hmmm..." He looked up at the sky: "It's going to close soon, I'll send you back."

  At the entrance of the residential area "Cai Man Street", Lu You was buying oranges at a fruit stall, and he actually got off work so early today.

  Fu An Dong pressed the horn to signal him.

  I jumped off the car and asked with joy: "Why did you get off work so early today?"

  Lu You turned back and saw Fu An Dong in the car, hesitated for a moment, and asked me: "Are you guys leaving?"

  I nodded: "Let's go out and take a walk."

  Fan An Dong rolled down the car window and waved at me: "Xu Shen Shen, I'm heading back first."

  I intentionally invited him: "Would you like to come to my home for dinner?"

  Fu An Dong joked: "You do? Then can I still go back with my life?" After finishing, he waved his hand at Lu You: "I'm leaving." After that, the car started and sped away in a cloud of smoke.

  I walked up and held onto Lu You's arm, saying intimately: "No overtime today?"

  He picked a few oranges and put them in a plastic bag: "We don't use overtime much anymore. Recently, we've had some free time, let's buy some vegetables and go home for dinner."

  I'm thrilled: "Really? That's great, I'll do it!"

  He reached out and grabbed my hand, putting it in his pocket. "Let me do it. You've been out all day? Your hands are so cold."

  "Hehe, it's just cold hands, so I need you to hold them."

  Unlike Fan Tong, who wore a woolen sweater inside and an overcoat outside in winter; Lu You wore down jackets in winter, especially thick ones, which kept his hands warm. Sometimes when I was frozen, he would open the zipper of his down jacket and wrap me in it, letting my face stick to his chest for warmth.

  I think Lu You is a homebody type of man, even if he wears a red plaid shirt with suspenders, it doesn't feel out of place. Especially when I see him skillfully stir-frying dishes and intently whisking egg liquid, at this moment, he's absolutely captivating.

  "I'm telling you, Fan Andong also found a job at Zhongtai Securities Company, in the same department as yours." I stood up and hugged him from behind.

  Obviously, Lu You's body stiffened: "Really?"

  "That's right. From now on, you'll be colleagues. Haha, perfect, I can also get Fu Andong to keep an eye on you, that way it's safer."

  It's been a long time since I got his response, I patted his shoulder: "Why aren't you talking?"

  Hearing a "sizzle", the egg liquid goes into the pot, and the fragrance overflows.

  "Mmm, smells so good."

  Lu Youqi picked up the spatula and stirred the stir-fry, "Go put the table away, dinner is ready soon."