Chapter 2: Dawn

  Excessive

  Zhang Chongyu leaned against the wall, gazing out of the window. The cicadas that had been screaming all day seemed to have tired themselves out as well; it was probably time for the crickets' dance party. In any case, on a summer's day in this small southern city, there was never a moment of quiet. But that was just fine - it made everything feel more vibrant.

  These days, I have indeed felt a girl's eager gaze, whether it was during class, leaning against the corridor, or even when going to the bathroom, and even on my way home. That chubby girl named Lan?c made him feel like his occipital bone was being burned by her eager eyes, but he didn't dare turn around to respond, and he was even a little afraid of making eye contact with that urgent gaze. He thought for a long time and felt that it was really necessary to take some countermeasures to solve some things. For the first time, I wrote a love letter, with complex emotions, and put it in the girl's textbook. This move is very common, but can't think of a better way to express my thoughts, don't know what her reaction will be, or if it will be met with silence.

  There must be anxiety in my heart. When I returned to my seat, I even wanted to rush back and retrieve the love letter that I had just put down, but the expectation in my heart suppressed the impulse.

  All the little emotions you care about are like a gentle breeze, carrying a refreshing fragrance that constantly reminds you to focus. The more you hide and conceal, the more you show your true feelings. Liking someone is impossible to disguise. Your smiling mouth, your sneaky glances at him, your shy and timid words, all reveal the secret you carefully maintain at every moment.

  Just like now, Lan Zhan has lost count of how many times he's seen Zhang Chongyu's mouth moving non-stop as he enthusiastically discusses yesterday's soccer match with Xiao Yi. He thinks that one reason Xiao Yi is so charming is that she can talk to guys about anything - soccer, soccer stars or luxury cars - and she always sounds like an expert.

  Zhang Chongyu stared at Lao Tuo's face, who was explaining a complex geometry problem, but Zhang Chongyu lost his concentration for the first time in math class. She didn't say anything, as if nothing had happened, but she must have seen it, and this morning she even went to flip through her textbook, the letter was gone. Thinking about it, he felt a little angry.

  Ever since receiving the love letter last time, every time I see Zhang Chongyu, my heart beats a little faster. But he just smiles and greets me as if nothing's wrong, never asking for an answer. One time, Lan was anxious and asked him tentatively, "Are we good friends?" He was taken aback for a moment, then laughed loudly and pushed Lan's head down, saying "What are you thinking? Of course!" After that, Lan understood. Maybe he had noticed her unease these past few days, or maybe he was giving her time to adapt. Indeed, she hadn't adjusted yet and couldn't immediately accept the transition from friends to lovers.

  I will slowly get used to it, and from now on, every day will be with you by my side. Lan raised the corner of his mouth as he gazed at the back view of the person walking ahead.

  Two people rode bicycles slowly through the bustling city, and Zhang Chongyu, who was riding in front, suddenly stopped, put one foot on the ground, turned around to look at Lan, and said, "Want to go see a movie?"

  "What's wrong?" Blue suddenly stopped and slammed on the brakes, the screeching sound was a bit jarring. She looked stunned.

  "Don't you want to go? Anyway, it's still early now. Watching a movie and going home won't be late." He got off his bicycle and walked towards Lan with one hand pushing the bike.

  Lan shook his head hastily and shouted back in a hurried tone: "Of course I want to! It's been ages since I last watched a movie."

  "That's it, let's go!"

  Like all movie-watching adults, Zhang Chongyu walked ahead with a Coke and popcorn, Lan followed closely behind him through the crowded audience, unfortunately their seats were in a dark corner. Sitting next to them was a couple, the boy whispered something in the girl's ear, the girl laughed and scolded, seeing someone approaching they quickly stopped.

  Lan sat down tightly next to Zhang Chongyu's seat, nervously sipping on a Coke, and before long, more than half of the large cup of Coke had been drunk.

  "You look quite hungry." Zhang Chongyu smiled with ill intentions and glanced at the Coke in the girl's hand.

  "What's going on?! Don't talk nonsense." Lan was so embarrassed that her face turned bright red, and she turned away to avoid looking at him.

  "Ah," Zhang Chongyu gently pinched Lan's arm and handed over the popcorn, "I don't like sweets, I bought it for you."

  "You have some conscience."

  Zhang Chongyu didn't continue the conversation, he quietly watched the movie, his long eyelashes stretching out gently. The only sounds in the cinema were the movie and occasional laughter from the audience. Just as Lan was about to break the silence between them, Zhang Chongyu spoke up faintly: "Actually, I haven't been feeling happy these past few days."

  His heartbeat suddenly skipped a beat, Lan looked at his profile, feeling a strange tension, "What's wrong?"

  He tilted his head to look at her and said seriously: "Some questions did not get the desired answers."

  "Actually, I..." My throat suddenly felt dry.

  "It's great that you don't understand anything, and live a happier life."

  "It's not... actually I..."

  "Never mind, you won't understand anyway. Forget it." Zhang Chongyu helplessly waved his hand, forcing the girl to swallow back the words she wanted to say.

  "Has Xiao Yi said anything to you recently?" Zhang Chongyu looked at the movie and spoke in a very soft voice.

  Blue turned his head and looked at him, "Nothing, what's wrong?"

  "It's nothing."

  Until the movie was over, neither of them spoke again. What the movie was about, what the ending meant, and why the audience was laughing were all unknown to the two people who were preoccupied with their own thoughts.

  As soon as I opened the door, my mother poked her head out of the kitchen and asked, "Why are you so late?"

  "Some things have been delayed." Lan put down her backpack and picked up the juice on the table to drink it all in one gulp.

  Her mother walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron and looking at her daughter with a worried expression. "Your class teacher just called and said your grades this time were not very ideal."

  He put down his cup and remained silent, not daring to look into her worried eyes.

  "Has anything been wrong lately? Or have you encountered some problems?"

  "Mom, nothing's wrong, I've just been a bit lazy lately." Lan Yu walked into the room and gently closed the door behind him.

  "You can't be lazy about studying. If you want to eat something, just tell Mom and I'll try to make it for you." Her mother's voice came through the door.

  Lan's eye sockets felt a bit hot, lying in bed staring at the snow-white ceiling, the chandelier that was originally hung on the ceiling had been taken down, leaving only a bare wire.

  With her left hand in her pocket, she rummaged around and then pinched the paper crane that had been folded into a paper strip. The paper was already wrinkled from being soaked with sweat, and the words were slightly blurred. She opened her eyes wide and stared deeply at the words, tears streaming down her cheeks onto the bed sheet.

  Maybe we're just not ready yet, the good kids in the eyes of teachers and parents, always exist with a gentle attitude, never having encountered any major setbacks, so when faced with some inexplicable difficulties, they often choose to escape. It's not that we're not brave enough, it's just that we know what's important and what's not. Some things were never meant to be games, but we young people can't handle them, such as love. Some secrets are better left unspoken, some words aren't suitable for this moment, like "I think I might have feelings for you." Sometimes, I'd rather stand behind you, if only there was a role that could bring me peace of mind by your side, I would be lucky too, like being your friend. Zhang Chongyu, if one day you really understand my thoughts at this moment, you'll definitely understand me, and you'll make the same choice as me. If fate allows us to meet again in the future, let's recreate our dreams.