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Actually, Luolian knew that her mother had been struggling all along because of her own fault. She wasn't really clueless about everything; she made a silent vow to study hard and let her mother live a good life in the future. Her brain wasn't particularly clever, so she could only make up for it by putting in more time and effort. Her grades were barely enough to put her in the top ten of a class of over fifty people. She was also very well-behaved, never causing any trouble at school because she knew she couldn't afford to, and her family wouldn't be able to bear the consequences of getting into trouble. Luolian had never wasted a single cent; whenever she could save two cents, she would absolutely not settle for saving just one cent.
But things are always changing in a way that is imperceptible. Luolan herself didn't realize it, but her personality and the deviation of her life path can't be said to have nothing to do with the influence of this family. At first, when she saw that photo of Ming Wanli, it thoroughly changed her, at the time people said she was like a demon, recklessly going to Ming Wanli without regard for anything else, actually, it was already planting the seeds of leaving home. It's just like how Fenlan never spoke a word from the heart with Luolan, Luolan had also tried to understand her, but the result was that everything was misinterpreted, and then Luolan didn't know which sentence she said wrong, and invited a scolding, moreover, only when blaming, for every one sentence Luolan said, Fenlan would say ten sentences, if Luolan retorted with another sentence, Fenlan would scold her a hundred sentences, so Luolan knew from the start, and closed her mouth early on.
She was best at silence and endurance, a silence and endurance that may have been shaped by years of subtle influence. But what's most frightening is that her surface was calm as water, but her mindset had gradually become unbalanced, with pessimistic and negative emotions slowly losing control and expanding. Every time she suffered injustice, she would secretly seethe in her heart: "I'll leave this home that doesn't match me at all, far, far away, and never come back!" Over time, her inner world was like a volcano on the verge of eruption, waiting to unleash its fury. When it came time to fill out college applications, Fen Lei had told Lin Xiang to apply to schools in their hometown, and she had obediently complied. But she hadn't felt any joy at the prospect of going to university. So when the admission letter from Mingwan University arrived, her eyes were full of hope and longing for the future. The volcano in her heart erupted, and her calm and obedient surface could no longer hold back. Leaving home, she didn't have a single attachment or nostalgia; it was as if Fen Lei had said, she disliked this home so much that she was eager to leave, wanting to go as far away as possible, the farther the better, never to return. If she had even a little bit of affection for this home, she wouldn't have gone four years without coming back.
Fen Lei never knew that she was actually the one who feared loneliness the most. She herself did not want to leave her parents, nor did she want Luo Lian to leave her. However, the way she expressed herself always had the opposite effect on Luo Lian. For example, when they were in school, Fen Lei originally wanted Luo Lian to come home, but instead, she used a harsh tone and asked, "When are you coming back? Hurry up and come home!" But it wasn't that Luo Lian was really busy every time and had no time to go home; rather, she subconsciously rejected the idea.
Luo Lian often thought of escaping, just like before, and stubbornly running to the distant Mingyue Bay, never to return. But now it's not like before anymore.
