Chapter 9

  The rice flower book house has both radish and green vegetables.

  Lin Daojing loved Yu Yongze very much, but she was not willing to marry him quickly. Yu Yongze talked to her several times, but each time he hit a snag. This problem made him worry a lot. One day, he suddenly fell ill, covering his head and lying in bed, and didn't even go to class. Daojing came to see him, anxiously asking: "Ze, what's wrong? Why did you suddenly fall ill?" She touched his forehead, which was not hot, but his face looked gloomy and painful.

  "Quiet, sit down." He looked at Lin Dao and smiled bitterly, "I don't know why I feel so sad in my heart. In the past, I had a heart attack and almost died. It's been several years since it happened again, but yesterday it happened again. Maybe because..." He closed his eyes and didn't say anything else.

  "Why?" Dao Jing hurriedly asked back.

  "Don't say it!" Yu Yongze opened his eyes and shook his head weakly, wanting to speak but stopping himself.

  "No!" Dao Jing couldn't bear it anymore, and with a forceful push on Yu Yongze's shoulder, he frowned and smiled, "What's wrong with you? You're being so ambiguous! If there's something going on, tell me, don't be like this!"

  Yu Yongze's eyes suddenly became moist, and then big tears rolled down. His thin fingers gripped Dao Jing's hand tightly, causing her pain. Dao Jing looked at him in surprise. After a long while, he finally said in a heavy low voice: "Jing, tell me the truth - if you don't love me, if I'm not worthy of your love, then... tell me the truth!"

  She stared at him blankly for a long time before she finally understood what he was saying. She could no longer hold back her excitement, tightly grasping his hands and saying: "Yongze, who told you to say such things! Don't ever say that again!" She turned around and wiped away the tears streaming down her face - it turned out that Yu Yongze had fallen ill because of her!

  A thread of joyful smile floated up on Yu Yongze's mouth corner, but he quickly wiped it away.

  He pulled her back, sitting on the bed, and said sorrowfully: "No, you don't love me. Without you by my side, I feel like my life is withering away like yellow leaves... Jing, save me! Without you, I really can't go on living..."

  How deeply he yearned for her, and he was the one who had saved her life! So amidst Yu Yongze's tears and hugs, she agreed to his request and decided to move in with him.

  A new life has begun.

  The night before Daojing was about to move out, she felt anxious and uneasy in her heart, just like a bride leaving her parents' home. After packing up the things at night, she held onto Xiaoyan's hand and said softly: "Xiaoyan, tomorrow I will be living another kind of life, I... am a bit scared. But what can be done? It has to be this way. I hope you study harder, achieve your dreams... You are happier than me, my future..." She lowered her head in pain.

  However, you are braver and bolder than me." Xiaoyan quickly wiped away the tears behind her glasses with a handkerchief and smiled: "You are bold enough for family and life, I agree with you and sympathize with you. But it's just that I'm not at ease about Lao Yu. Do you really understand him? You rashly followed him, what guarantee do you have? Do you truly believe in this person?" Xiaoyan felt she should give Daojing some elder sisterly advice, so after hesitating for a moment, she said this.

  Dào Jìng lifted her head, her bright eyes flashing with a hint of stubbornness: "Xiǎo Yàn, do you think it's necessary to have a fancy car and go through all the formalities just to be reliable?"

  I just dislike that kind of vulgar etiquette. Have you read "Isadora Duncan's Autobiography"? I really like this book. Isadora Duncan is a great modern Western dancer, she has been struggling alone since childhood. She encountered many hardships and difficulties, but she did not give up, nor did she yield to evil forces.

  She hated those traditional morals. Once, her two children both fell into the Rhine River and drowned. She thought of her children and hoped to have another child, but at that time she had no husband, so she lay on the beach waiting. Later, seeing a lovely young man coming, she went towards this stranger.

  The dignified and serious Wang Xiaoyan, seeing the usually taciturn Lin Daojing suddenly seriously telling these romantic stories, couldn't help but burst out laughing: "You little scamp who doesn't know your place! Yu Yongze will sooner or later abandon you, what will you do then?"

  "What's there to be afraid of!" Dao Jing smiled lightly, "I'm not an appendage on a man's body, I won't die without him. Besides, you...you don't know how much he loves me!"

  She smiled awkwardly at this point.

  Wang Xiaoyan also chuckled: "This, I really don't know!"

  Wang Xiaoyan likes Lin Daojing because she is intelligent, has a mind of her own and also likes reading.

  Compared to general knowledge and literary accomplishment, she was inferior to Lin Daojing. Moreover, she sympathized with her situation, resented her family, so she always enthusiastically helped her, 'loving her like an elder sister.' However, regarding some of her unconventional, intense, and un-ladylike ideas and views, she couldn't agree with them. Nevertheless, she never managed to persuade her. As a result, the two friends got along well but inevitably had minor disagreements. Often it was Wang Xiaoyan's gentle smile that brought their conversation back on track.

  "Alright, Xiaolin, I sincerely wish you happiness." Xiaoyan gazed at Daojing with deep affection, but couldn't help wiping away tears from her glasses.

  Dào Jìng gazed at her with a mixture of emotions. After a while, she grasped Xiǎo Yàn's hand and forced a smile: "Xiǎo Yàn, don't worry. I won't fall, I want to be worthy of you..."

  Lin Daojing and Yu Yongze lived together. The two small Chinese-style apartment rooms were very tidy. On the bookshelf, there was an antique ceramic vase, and on the desk, there was a pot of evergreen winter grass. On one side of the wall hung a photo of Tolstoy with a white beard, and on the other side was a half-length photo of Lin Daojing and Yu Yongze together, framed in an exquisite mirror frame, smiling at people. In short, this old-fashioned small house, after their arrangement, was warm and elegant, as if it had the breath of spring.

  Yu Yongze felt very happy. He was able to conquer such a difficult-to-tame girl, and he was able to get such a young and beautiful lover, how excited he was! Before going to class in the morning, he must hold Lin Daojing in his arms, gazing at her affectionate eyes, saying: "Dear, wait for me, I'll be back soon."

  He reluctantly lingered for a while before going to class, as if he was about to embark on a long journey.

  At noon, after class, he still hugged her first, then sat in front of a small table used as a dining table, with a satisfied smile touching his cheeks and said: "Is the rice cooked? What to eat? Fried noodles with scrambled eggs, that's great. I really like eating your cooking. Jing, we are so happy!

  At this time, Dao Jing also felt happy. Yu Yongze's warmth and thoughtfulness made her feel emotionally satisfied with the love she had been lacking since childhood. Moreover, Yu Yongze gave her a warm home. Although it was only two small rooms, it was much better than wandering around Beidaihe. However, as time went on, she gradually felt uneasy in her heart, and sometimes when laughing, she said to Yu Yongze: "You are a university student, you have books to read and things to do. But what about me, what am I?"

  He comforted her: "What's the big deal? Many professors' wives in our school are university graduates, and some have even returned from studying abroad. They still stay at home - accompany their husbands and take care of the children. Jing, if you're bored, help me collect materials, copy something; otherwise, learn cooking or sewing. In the future, we can't just be two people." He smiled, gently pulled up Daojing's hand and kissed it.

  "Zhe, why do you always say such things?..." Dao Jing withdrew her hand and looked at him in dismay. "In the past, when we were by the sea in Beidaihe, your thoughts were so rich, you had many insights about life and art that I truly admired. But now, all day long it's just eating, drinking, children... You know, my will is not focused on these things."

  "What do you want to do?" Yu Yongze asked with a smile.

  "To live independently, go out into society and be a free person."

  "I'm not opposed!" Yu Yongze hastily changed his tune, "I've always advocated for women to leave the kitchen. This is a social issue, what can you do if you can't find work?"

  But one day, Dao Jing happily told Yu Yongze: "I've found a job!"

  "What? You've found a job?" Yu Yongze seemed to have been struck by a stick and quickly asked, "Who helped you find it?"

  Dào Jìng told him that her classmate Lǐ Yùméi's father was the manager of a bookstore in Xīdān, and this bookstore was currently short of one store clerk. Lǐ Yùméi came to ask Dào Jìng if she would be willing to do it, and she had already agreed, preparing to go to work tomorrow.

  That night, Yu Yongze suddenly became very annoyed. He sat at his desk but couldn't concentrate on reading, stroking his forehead as if deep in thought. Dao Jing, however, was relatively happy; she read a book under the lamp for a while, looked up and saw Yu Yongze's uneasy expression, and nudged him: "Ze, why aren't you happy? Isn't my job good enough? And it can also reduce your burden."

  Yu Yongze suddenly grasped her hand tightly and said excitedly: "Jing, I don't want to part with you! You see, in just over a year, I'll be graduating. For my future, or rather, for our future, I've been thinking about it a lot. Recently, Hu Shi and some scholars have been advocating for the study of national heritage, and 'investigation' is very popular.

  So, you see, I haven't been reading much pure literature lately. The courses I've chosen and the books I've borrowed from the library are all focused on this aspect. The career issue is a big problem now, but I believe it won't be a problem after graduation. So, our life, I think, won't be too bad. Therefore, I don't want my loved one to run around anymore. That little bookstore clerk, you shouldn't have agreed. Besides, aren't you afraid of running into that Director Hu your mom introduced you to?

  "I haven't spent a single penny of the Hu family's money, what are you afraid of?" Jing shook off Yu Yongze's hand, a faint sense of disappointment and pain began to pound in her heart. "Yongze, I really don't understand what's wrong with you. You advocate for women's independence, yet you're not willing to let me go out and work. No, Ze, I must go! Don't stop me."

  Yu Yongze knew her temper and could only nod gloomily, saying no more.

  The next morning, Dao Jing went to work in Xidan with an excited mood from Dongcheng.

  On the first day, she was very happy and had time to read various new books as things were not busy. However, on the second and third days, she began to feel annoyed; by the fourth day, she could hardly bear it; and on the sixth day, she simply quit her job. It turned out that a group of hooligans, starting from the second day, kept coming to the bookstore to cause trouble and have fun. Seeing a young and beautiful girl working as a "hostess", the hooligans swarmed around the store like flies. On the sixth morning, a small note was even posted on the door of the bookstore:

  This bookstore is quite good, with a newly added beautiful female attendant.

  Give me a sweet one, buy one for 1 yuan and give me one for free!

  Dào Jìng saw it and was furious, her whole body trembling. She didn't say a word, immediately resigning from the manager's position. Without even getting paid, she suffered many insults, feeling depressed for many days, unable to lift her head. From then on, Dào Jìng's job search became even more disheartened. But Yú Yǒngzé was delighted, he had won again.

  In the long empty days, Dao Jing heard that her best friend from middle school, Chen Wei Ru, had gotten married and was living a good life. One day, she went to visit her with excitement. But upon seeing her, she couldn't help but feel greatly disappointed. All she saw was Chen Wei Ru sporting the most fashionable curly hair, wearing a pink velvet cheongsam, embroidered shoes, and with thick makeup on her face. The simple Chen Wei Ru from their school days had become a genuine rich lady.

  "How did she become so strange!" Dao Jing muttered in her heart, feeling uncomfortable as she sat on the sofa.

  Chen Wei-ju was overjoyed to see Dao Jing. Holding her hand, she called out in a sweet voice, "Zhao Ma, serve tea! We have an honored guest!"

  Dào Jìng was sizing up the beautifully decorated living room while patiently asking Chen Wei-ru about her life over the past year.

  "Ah! Lin Daojing, I'm telling you." Chen Weiru wiped her mouth with a handkerchief, floating a satisfied smile. "After we parted ways last year, I didn't take the university entrance exam either. Through my cousin's introduction, I married Mr. Pan. He graduated from Nankai University and is now the deputy manager of the Salt Industry Bank. Our life is pretty good. Look: this house was bought by him for our new marriage last year, and just the furniture cost 2,000 yuan. Xiao Lin, his temper is also quite good, not like other men who have money and go find dancing girls, he, he comes home on time... A month ago, we had a chubby child, named Beibei. Little Beibei is so good, his dad loves him to death." Chen Weiru became more and more excited, lightly touched her curly hair, and stood up with a bashful expression, shouting: "Nanny, bring Beibei over! Let Auntie take a look!"

  Before the child was brought in, she sat down again and looked at Lin Daojing with a concerned expression like an elder sister, asking: "Xiao Lin, are you still so 'weird'? With your talent, if you find a good person, you'll be even more prosperous than me. Hmm," she gently wiped her red lips with a handkerchief, "I heard that you're living with a university student, is it true?"

  Dao Jing nodded silently, without saying a word.

  "Goodness, it's really strange! How can you be so...?" Chen Wei Ru furrowed her brow, her two thin black eyebrows curved downwards like an "8", "In school, in terms of grades and reading, I was never better than you, but now... why don't you think about... our Beibei's father..." She hesitated, wanting to say something more, when Dao Jing interrupted her.

  "Chen Wei Ru, I never thought you'd change so quickly." Dao Jing sat on the sofa, looking at Chen Wei Ru's curved black eyebrows with a melancholy expression, saying word by word, "Do you still remember when we were in Xihégōu together, cursing the dark society and vowing to protect our innocence? Do you still remember when my mom wouldn't let me go to school, forcing me to marry a rich guy, and how you cried for me, sympathizing with me and encouraging me to fight against them? How could it be that just over a year has passed, and now you're also advising me to marry a rich guy? Is being a rich guy really so lovely?"

  Chen Wei Ru immediately handed the child back to the nanny, "Take Beibei back!" She turned around and stared at Dao Jing for a while, then blushed and said, "Lin Dao Jing, how can you be like this?... Don't misunderstand! I didn't advise you to marry a rich man, that's your freedom!" She took a slight breath, her eyes looking down, "Alas, the things that happened in school back then were just childish fantasies, I didn't think you still remembered. I think people should be more practical..."

  She saw Dao Jing get up and want to leave, she didn't finish saying what she wanted to say. The friendship between the two friends ended in this unhappy meeting.