Chapter 8

  Lin Daojing couldn't stand Yu Jingtang's nagging at Yangzhuang Primary School in Beidaihe, so before the winter break even arrived, she quietly escaped back to Beijing from Beidaihe, just like she had fled from Beijing to Beidaihe.

  In Yangzhuang, she only earned fifteen yuan a month, and apart from eating, sending letters, and miscellaneous expenses, she couldn't even afford a thick cotton-padded jacket. She wore thin clothes and carried a small luggage roll - those instruments she had long lost the leisure to play with, and one by one gave them away to her students. Along the way, she hesitated for a long time: where would she settle down in Beiping? And that certain Director Hu was still looking for her. Of course, she would rather starve to death than - as she often wrote in her diary - "sell her soul". She often thought that she should have a pure and noble soul, a soul that would not be tainted by any impurities or material desires.

  The train was approaching Beijing East Station when she finally made up her mind to go to her good friend Wang Xiaoyan.

  Wang Xiaoyan is a third-year high school student who is the same age as Lin Daojing. She is quiet and kind, and at first glance, you can tell that she is someone who even older students would address as "older sister". Her father, Wang Hongbin, is a professor in the history department of Peking University; her mother is a gentle housewife. Growing up in a peaceful and warm family environment, Wang Xiaoyan's personality is not as bold and daring as Lin Daojing's. She is elegant and refined, only knowing how to work hard and hoping to become a scholar like her father in the future.

  As soon as she saw Wang Xiaoyan, Dao Jing held her hands for a long time and couldn't speak. Xiaoyan saw that her friend was wearing only a thin black cotton-padded jacket in the cold winter, with dust and oil stains all over it, and a weary look of wind and labor, which made her seem unrecognizable to Lin Daojing, and she looked at her for a long time.

  "Hey, Xiao Lin!" Xiaoyan smiled warmly, not knowing how to comfort Lin Daojing. "Go wash your face and change into one of my clothes - you look like a country bumpkin."

  "Don't look down on country people, my mom..." Dao Jing nodded her head, feeling that there was no need to say these unnecessary words, and smiled as she changed the subject, "Xiaoyan, you're so lucky..."

  "Dad, mom, little sister, it's so great to be a family..." Dao Jing smiled, but her eyes couldn't help but get 'wet', she quickly turned her head and picked up the washcloth.

  Xiao Yan looked at her sympathetically and said: "Don't always be sad. Just live in my house, I'll ask Dad to think of a way."

  "Alright." Dao Jing said with a wry smile. The two "girls" looked at each other for a few seconds, and Dao Jing couldn't help it anymore. Suddenly, she hugged Wang Xiaoyan's neck and whispered in her ear: "You know Yu, right?... We're good now..."

  "I knew it!" Wang Xiaoyan smiled warmly and pushed Lin Daojing away. "Go take a look at him quickly, he's anxious to death."

  At night, Dao Jing went to see Yu Yongze. In his small apartment room, they talked until late at night. When she was about to return to Xiao Yan's home to sleep, Yu Yongze sent her off. On the midnight street, they strolled side by side. When they reached the *** front of the "Yu" River, they stopped beside the "Yu" stone railing. Under the dim light, Yu Yongze tightly grasped Dao Jing's icy fingers and gazed at her deeply. After a long while, he spoke in a trembling voice: "Lin, are you willing to be my dearest?... I will love you forever..."

  Dao Jing lowered her head and didn't respond. Her heart was filled with subtle passion, her cheeks burning with a red glow. Is this what it means to be in the prime of youth? It's such a happy and sweet feeling! She couldn't help but grasp Yu Yongze's hand and lean her head on his shoulder.

  However, love cannot solve Daojing's distress. Living in Wang Xiaoyan's home, although Xiaoyan and her parents are very good to her, this is not a long-term solution after all. She must quickly resolve her living problems. Therefore, on the second day of arriving in Beiping, she hurriedly became active everywhere - asking classmates and teachers to help introduce her to jobs. When she was not going out, she flipped through various newspapers. She hoped to find job-seeking clues from recruitment ads in the newspaper.

  One day, two days, a week, two weeks passed, and despite her anxiety and various efforts, there was no hope of finding a job. Professor Wang tactfully told her: In today's society, even university graduates or specialized talents often find themselves unemployed without proper "connections". For a young girl like Lin Daojing, it's not easy to find a job. So he advised her to be patient and not rush into things. But Daojing didn't believe him. She thought that in such a big city as Beiping, finding a small job shouldn't be difficult. Therefore, she continued to search - knocking on doors here and there, searching high and low. Half a month passed, a whole month passed, but there was no sign of what could be called a "job". Mrs. Wang often advised her to take it easy, that if she couldn't find anything, she could stay at their house, and Xiaoyan also warned her not to run around recklessly, lest she encounter bad people. However, their comfort couldn't alleviate the anxiety in her heart. She still went out to inquire about every possible lead, but none of them succeeded. One day, a recruitment ad for a young female family teacher appeared in the "Little Truth News", and seeing that the conditions were acceptable, she decided to give it a try.

  She put on Xiaoyan's green woolen coat, dressed herself up neatly and beautifully, then walked out of the door with a small lacquer box. As soon as she reached the gate, she met Xiaoyan coming back from school, who stopped her and asked: "Xiaolin, where are you going to try your luck again?"

  "No, send a letter instead." Because Dao Jing had already been nagged by Xiao Yan many times, so this time he decided to keep it from her.

  Xiao Yan saw through her lie and smiled as she pushed her gently: "Go! Wish you success. Come back early."

  Dào Jìng smiled awkwardly and ran away with his head turned around.

  She found the mansion with a large red-painted gate at Dongdan Third Alley. She was led to a luxurious, somewhat oriental-style living room. After waiting for a long time, a man in a suit and tie, with two wisps of hair on his chin, came out. The man was very polite to Daojing, offering her cigarettes and tea, and immediately asked how old she was, what school she had attended, while sizing her up with his shifty, turbid eyes. Daojing felt very uncomfortable but forced herself to answer. Finally, she asked the man, "Sir, where is your student? What grade are they in? What subjects do they need tutoring in?"

  Only to see that clumsy body suddenly leaning against the back of the sofa, revealing a mouthful of gold teeth and bursting into loud laughter. After laughing for a few moments, he began to stroke his beard, adjust his tie, and smile: "Miss, you're great! Great! My wife and children are still in our country - do you know? The great Japan. You come teach me first! I have plenty of money, plenty of it... Haha..."

  Dao Jing suddenly felt like she had been hit on the head, and before she knew it, she had blurted out a few words and fled the grand mansion like a wild beast escaping from a hunter. It wasn't until she was far away that she stopped to catch her breath, turned around to gaze at the majestic red-painted gate, and used trembling fingers to wipe away the tears that had blurred her vision.

  She didn't go back to Xiao Yan's house, she went straight to find Yu Yongze.

  She walked into his room, he was bent over the desk writing something. Seeing her walk in, he stood up to pull her hand. But she shook her head, sat on the chair, with both hands holding her head, half a day, motionless and silent.

  Yu Yongze hastened his pace, leaned in close to her and asked softly: "Jing, what's wrong? Are you angry with me?"

  "No, don't mind me. I'll be fine in a moment."

  Yu Yongze didn't dare say another word, he nervously looked at her, both of them fell silent.

  Finally, she seemed to calm down a bit, lifted her head and looked at Yu Yongze with a faint smile: "Okay, it's over... This makes me even more aware that China is a piece of meat on the chopping board, bandits are rampant everywhere... Ze, have you heard the story of Jiang Taigong selling noodles? When I was young, Old Wang often told me: People who don't have good luck are like Jiang Taigong before he met King Wen, fishing rods and noodle baskets were all turned upside down. Me, me, me, I don't know if I'll ever have a lucky day?" She tried her best to hide the pain in her heart, but tears still welled up in her eyes. After taking a break, she spoke with a childlike tone, tilting her head: "I don't believe in fate at all, anyway, let's just try and see! I don't think we'll never find a way out."

  She told Yu Yongze about her job search experience just now, and Yu Yongze listened carefully.

  After listening, he changed his usual gentle demeanor and walked around the room twice. He turned back to stare at Lin Daojing seriously and said: "Jing, please don't blame me! Our relationship makes it impossible for me to remain silent. If you continue to act so recklessly, it's very dangerous. In this society, not to mention you, even men who are more capable and experienced than you will get hurt. You, Jing, are like a wild horse that can't be tamed, always running around wildly. But what's the use? Ideals are ideals, but reality is reality. I believe you'll soon exhaust yourself."

  Dào Jìng gazed at Yú Yǒng Zé's thin, dark face and his small, shining black eyes. She suddenly realized that he was not a handsome or elegant man after all.

  And what was he talking about? She listened, feeling a sense of irritation she had never felt before, so she just stared at him coldly and didn't say a word.

  "Darling!" After a pause, Yu Yongze walked to Dao Jing's side and hugged her, whispering in her ear, "Jing, listen to me, let's move in together! This is my tenth request... Think about it, how happy we would be - when I come back from class, you personally cook dinner for me; you like literature, I'll help you with it; you write poetry, and if you'd like, I'll revise it for you. The money sent from home may not be much, but saving a bit will be enough for the two of us... Why do you insist on running around, living under others' roofs, when there's already a happy path laid out before you?"

  "Stop it!" Dao Jing covered Yu Yongze's mouth with her hand, then covered her own eyes with both hands. After a moment of silence, she suddenly opened her eyes and said: "Yongze, how did you suddenly become a different person? Living under someone else's roof? Isn't being with me not living under someone else's roof? Don't keep telling me these things, if you say it again, I really suspect you're taking advantage of my vulnerability..." Her lips trembled, and it was clear that she was trying her best to suppress her anger.

  Yu Yongze grasped her arm, standing beside her in a flustered and stuttering manner: "Jing, my dear, don't say that! I love you, forever and ever. You are my life, my soul, I live for you..."

  Dao Jing smiled. These words were 'enchanting', especially for a young girl in her first love.