Chapter 21

  In the evening, Yu Yongze went out after dinner, and Dao Jing was washing dishes. The landlord turned on the radio, and popular songs with crying sounds seemed to be mourning, transmitted to Dao Jing's ears:

  Drizzle, drizzle rain, falling non-stop, gentle breeze, blowing non-stop...

  She was quietly gathering the dishes, hating the dull sound more and more, but the landlord and his wife seemed to be enjoying it even more. She sighed helplessly, just about to sit down, when a large palm lightly patted her shoulder. Turning around, she found Lu Jia-chuan, whom she hadn't seen for several months. Excitedly, she threw away the dishcloth, blushing and panting as she said: "Lu brother, it's been so long since I've seen you! Where have you been?..."

  After the "May Day" holiday, Dao Jing never saw Lu Jia-chuan again. Bai Li-ping went to Shanghai, and although Xu Ning occasionally came to visit her, he was always in a hurry and left quickly. As a result, Dao Jing's life fell back into a dull and depressing state. Her bright and cheerful eyes, like the sparkling lake water, were gone; the happy songs that used to come from her mouth also disappeared; she sank back into confusion and melancholy. Therefore, it can be imagined how surprised and excited she was when she saw Lu Jia-chuan again.

  "Sorry, I've been busy for the past few months." Lu Jia-chuan put down a small bag he had brought and sat down, then stood up again. "Little Lin, how's life been lately? Feeling suffocated again?"

  "Hmm!" Dao Jing lowered her head, using her fingers to gently wipe away a tear from the corner of her eye. "Life is like stagnant water. Either we're quarreling or reading book after book... Brother Lu, what should I do?" She lifted her head, looking at Lu Jia-chuan with a serious expression, her lips trembling. "I've always been waiting for you - waiting for the party to save me from drowning..."

  Lu Jia-chuan glanced casually around the room and yard, then sat down at the table, smiling as he said: "I understand your distress. Little Lin, don't be pessimistic, we'll do our best to help you. However..." His tone turned serious, but his eyes remained calm and gentle as he looked at her, "The White Terror is getting more and more severe now. Chiang's brought the Third Garrison Brigade to Peiping to arrest and kill patriotic youths everywhere - I suppose you didn't know? Hsu Ning has already been arrested."

  "Ah! He's also been caught?" Dao Jing was shocked, "When was he caught?"

  "That night, when Luo Dafang and students from Beiping went to Zhaobei to join the army. You didn't know that Luo Dafang had already been released from prison. Xu Ning had wanted to go but hesitated and didn't go, and was caught as a result. Xiao Lin, the environment is cruel, the struggle is 'fierce', I don't know if you've thought about these things?"

  "I've thought about it countless times!" Dao Jinghong's face flushed as she leaned her body heavily on the table, "I've always thought that instead of living a life of mediocrity and 'mixing' in, I'd rather die gloriously. If I'm not afraid of death, what else would I be afraid of?"

  Lu Jiachuan stared at her with a sharp gaze, her beautiful face full of innocence and ***. From this face, he completely trusted the 'girl' who lived in the contradictory mud pit. He paused for a moment, looking straight into her eyes and said: "The idea of heroic death on the battlefield hasn't changed at all?" She smiled. "Xiao Lin, you're wrong. Participating in *** is not to make us *** but to make us live - to make us live more meaningfully; to make thousands of people who have suffered *** live happily. Why think of death before doing anything? This is incorrect!"

  "So, Brother Lu, can you show me a way to participate in ***? Can it be called *** like this?"

  "Alright, I'll come to you for help now." Lu Jia-chuan's expression suddenly turned serious. "There are three things I'd like you to consider helping me with. First, there are some documents that need to be kept here for a few days; second, can you deliver a letter for me tonight? Third...". He suddenly stopped and looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. "Third, I was thinking of staying here for a while longer, if possible, it would be best if I could stay overnight... because these days the detectives are watching closely - just now I managed to shake off one tail and ran here."

  Dào was quietly listening to her entrustment, initially feeling happy, but as she heard more, her mood became tense. Lú Jiāchuān had just been casually discussing life and ideological issues with her, yet she hadn't expected him to be in such a precarious situation. His calm, composed, and elegant demeanor left her stunned. After a moment of bewilderment, she spoke straightforwardly: "Lú brother, everything is fine! I've long hoped you'd treat me like one of your own. You can just stay here; I'll go talk to Yú Yǒngzé about it." As soon as she mentioned this person, her face turned red.

  Lu Jia-chuan slumped forward, one foot propped on a stool and one hand pressed against his temple. His handsome face wore a heavy look of deep thought, with two thick eyebrows furrowed tightly together. After a moment, he shook his head and knocked on the edge of the table, saying: "Little Lin, don't talk to him anymore. It's not possible to stay here... just like this, I have some writing to do tonight, so I'll linger here for a while longer. Can you think of a way to get Old Yu to come back later?" He handed a small package to Dao Jing, "This is some secret propaganda material, put it away safely and don't let Old Yu see it."

  "Ah!" Dao Jing carefully took over the half-old, ancient bronze-colored small suitcase, as if a mother embracing her newborn baby. In an instant, her heart was filled with a happy and joyful feeling, this feeling was so strong that it made her forget the tension just now, tightly hugging the suitcase in her arms, staring at Lu Jia-chuan with burning eyes. "Brother Lu, you can stay here with me. You dislike him, I'll go live somewhere else with him. I must..." She wanted to say "protect you", but swallowed back the words. She was so young and naive, how could she say something that sounded like it came from a mother's mouth to her respected teacher?

  "No need." Lu Jia-chuan saw Dao Jing's serious and anxious expression, a satisfied smile lightly crossed his lips. He said: "Xiao Lin, you go find someone now - she lives in a remote area, the road is not close, go early. She is Li Da-sao, if you see her, ask her: 'Did Xiao Dai and Xiao Wu come back from playing at the Bible meeting?' Just say that Xiao Feng is fine. If she says they've all come back, then it's good. If you can't find her, and someone asks what you're doing, just say you're either her relative or got the wrong door." Lu Jia-chuan continued to instruct her on some secret work methods and particularly noteworthy points.

  "What does it mean that Xiao Dai and Xiao Wu went to the Bible study group to play?" Dao Jing felt interested in these inexplicable words, she opened her eyes wide with curiosity and asked.

  "What you don't need to know, don't ask - that's the principle." Lu Jia-chuan's words were both sharp and gentle.

  Dào jìng diǎn diǎn tóu zhàn zài dāng dì bǎi 'nòng' zhe yī fú jiǎo. Zhè zhǒng xīn qí de yǒu diǎn shén mì de shēng huó shǐ dé tā zài huāng 'luàn' hé yōu lǜ zhōng què sān hùn zhěng dù de xǐ yuè.

  She looked at Lu Jia-chuan, with many words in her heart, but couldn't say them out.

  They were relatively silent for a while.

  After a while, she thought it was time to leave and not delay any longer. She stood up, nodded at Lu Jia-chuan, and walked towards the door. Just then, she suddenly thought: perhaps there were fierce detectives lurking outside, watching Lu Jia-chuan; perhaps as soon as she left, he would be taken away. ...Thinking of this, her feet felt heavy and she couldn't move. She leaned weakly against the door, looking at him. A feeling of attachment mixed with a sense of righteous anger, and she didn't know how to express it, so she just stared blankly at him.

  "Kobayashi, it's already 8:30, you can go now." Lu Jia-chuan's eyes never left hers.

  "Alright, Lu brother, I'll go! You just wait here for me." Dao Jing gritted her teeth and set off immediately. She hadn't even stepped out of the doorway when Lu Jia-chuan called out to her again: "Don't be so flustered, your attitude should be calm. Panic will only lead to trouble."

  I'll wait for you here as long as I can. If I'm not here when you get back, I'll definitely come to pick up my things within three days.

  "You must wait for me, don't go..." Dao Jing rushed up and grabbed his hand.

  Tears glistened on her long eyelashes.

  At this moment, Lu Jia-chuan's heart was filled with very complex emotions. The girl's fiery passion and the love for him that she had been subtly revealing were stirring him up, making him want to say out loud the words he had been secretly keeping in his heart for many days. However, he couldn't do so; he had to restrain himself. So he took her hand, like an affectionate elder brother, and said seriously: "Little Lin, you still don't have experience with cruel struggles, and there are many things you haven't yet felt the severity and complexity of. Alright, if three days pass and I still don't come back...". He suddenly opened wide his gentle, bright eyes: "...then you must burn these things to ashes. In the future - in the future, as long as you don't lose faith in our cause, as long as you can persist in struggling for the happy days that are yet to come, then you will definitely achieve your goals, achieve your ideals. Little Lin, always believe my words: ***ism cannot be extinguished; our comrades cannot be killed off! We may still meet again..."

  She gazed at him intently, her eyes fixed on his every word and every syllable. These words were like gold, ringing out with a clear sound, stirring her heartstrings. When she finally understood what he meant, she was stunned, and tears began to flow. She thought: no matter where there is a good place, even if it's just a box, lock him in tightly, keep him safe, don't let the reactionaries catch him... but where is such a good place?

  She stood on the ground, thinking anxiously, and suddenly realized that she should leave, not wanting him to urge her again. So, she moved her feet and forced herself to walk out. Unexpectedly, Lu Jia-chuan grabbed her again and reminded her: "Xiao Lin, remember what I told you, don't say a single wrong word to Li Dajie."

  Also, be careful on the road. If you find someone following you from behind, don't come back here first. Also, please ask Old Yu to come back a bit later."

  "Don't worry about anything!" Dao Jing shouted in a low voice and jumped out of the door, disappearing into the darkness in an instant.

  Lu Jia-chuan leaned against the door frame, gazing at the quiet courtyard with a smile, as if Dao Jing was still standing there.

  Dào Jìng ran to the student dormitory of Peking University's East Zhai, and found Yu Yongze in Li Guoying's room. She called him out of the house and said seriously in a low voice: "I have something to do tonight, you can come back later."

  "What's going on? Why did you call me back late? Isn't it the same if I go back and wait for you?" Yu Yongze narrowed his small eyes in surprise.

  Dào Jìng didn't know how to respond. In her anxiety, she thought: nothing should be hidden from one's loved one, let alone this being a just and open matter. So she leaned in close to Yú Yǒngzé's ear, lowering her voice to say: "Zé, that Lú Jiāchuān is being tailed by detectives, he ran to our place earlier trying to hide for a bit. You can head back a bit later! I'm going to go find someone for him right now."

  Yu Yongze was like a clay idol, stiff on the ground. Ah! On such a clear and fragrant summer night, she was actually having an intimate date with another man... For him, she didn't even want her own husband to return home... He glanced sideways at Dao Jing, then after a long time, he whispered through gritted teeth: "So your boyfriend is waiting for you! But I'm going back to my own home!" After finishing speaking, he suddenly turned around and rushed into the house, the door slamming shut behind him.

  Dào Jìng fell into a mixture of extreme pain, grief, despair, and hatred. For several seconds, she stood motionless in the dimly lit corridor. She very much wanted to rush into the room and reason with Yú Yǒngzé, but when Lú Jiāchuān's shadow flashed before her eyes, she immediately calmed down. She bit her teeth and violently tossed her short black hair back, and her face regained its resolute expression from earlier. "Leave! Hurry up and leave! Don't talk to someone like that anymore."

  On this day, two hours before Lu Jia-chuan rushed to Lin Dao-jing's place, he and Dai Yu went together to attend a missionary meeting at the largest Bible study group in the eastern city. When the pastor was praying on the altar, they - Dai Yu and several other comrades locked the big door of the Bible study group, and Lu Jia-chuan jumped up, pushed the pastor aside, and stood on the altar to give a speech about ***ism, the victory of the Red Army, and anti-Japanese national salvation; at the same time, many comrades scattered leaflets like snowflakes. The pastor panicked, the crowd was in chaos, and many people wanted to run but couldn't get out. Of course, before the speech was over, the military police had already surrounded the Bible study group. Lu Jia-chuan, who was quick-witted, took off his hat, put on a pastor's clothes he had prepared beforehand, and ran out of the crowd in confusion. However, how other comrades were doing, whether they had escaped or not, he did not know. Therefore, he asked Lin Dao-jing to send a message to inform the organization about this matter.

  However, this time he was too reckless and the cunning agent had already set his sights on him. Several guys took turns tailing him. Fortunately, he cleverly shook off these tails and ran to Lin Daojing's place. Because he estimated that Daojing and Yu Yongze living together would not be suspicious, it would be easy to hide. Of course, he also estimated that Yu Yongze might not take him in. But the situation was tense, and he absolutely could not show his face on the street again, so as long as he could temporarily hide, other things didn't matter much.

  Despite having gone through another fierce struggle, despite not having eaten anything all day, Lu Jia-chuan still sat calmly in front of the desk in Dao Jing's study, preparing to write an urgent document. He concentrated his thoughts, and several times he had seen a few white steamed buns in Dao Jing's small food cabinet, which made him want to eat. But he couldn't bear to get up and fetch them. The task was urgent, and he was also afraid that Yu Yongze would come back suddenly, and the document wouldn't be written. In the end, Yu Yongze still came back before he finished writing. And so another intense conflict of a different kind unfolded.

  Lu Jiachuan was writing under the bright light of the lamp when suddenly he heard a knock at the door. Yu Yongze, wearing a gray woolen hat and a blue cotton gown with a stack of thread-bound books tucked under his arm, walked in. As soon as he saw Lu Jiachuan sitting calmly at his desk, a surge of suppressed anger made his face pale. He glared at Lu Jiachuan with narrowed eyes, as if not recognizing him. Before he could open his mouth - and indeed, it was hard for him to do so - because the anger burning within him made him want to burst out in a torrent of abuse. But doing so would be beneath his dignity. What civilized and powerful words could he use to scold Lu Jiachuan?... Before he had time to think, Lu Jiachuan looked up at him, nodded and smiled: "Old Yu, you're back! Long time no see." He calmly folded the paper he was writing on, stood up and gazed at Yu Yongze with his big black eyes.

  Yu Yongze restrained himself and asked coldly: "What brings you to my house?"

  "Kobayashi asked me to wait for her a moment."

  "Are you waiting for her?" This sentence stabbed Yu Yongze even more. He glared at Lu Jia-chuan, his anger suddenly rising three feet high. However, he still didn't erupt, but instead turned around and said to the wall in a hoarse voice: "Lu Jia-chuan, please don't use your Marxist logic to confuse Lin Daojing anymore. You know, she's my wife. Our happy family will not allow anyone to destroy it with despicable means!"

  Lu Jia-chuan stood by the "gate", quietly watching Yu Yong-ze's thin and bony back - he was so angry that he didn't even take off his hat, and the shadow of his head was cast on the wall, looking like a big black mushroom. His body was like the thin stem of the mushroom.

  "Lao Yu, don't you feel ashamed saying such things?" Lu Jia-chuan said sternly, staring at Yu Yong-ze. "Don't forget, you're still a university student who once shouted slogans of patriotism, and you're also Lin Dao-jing's husband. It's not someone else destroying your happy family, it's you yourself!" After speaking, Lu Jia-chuan calmly opened the door, turned his head to glance at Yu Yong-ze who was still standing with his back against the wall, then strode out of the room.

  Yu Yongze watched Lu Jiachuan leave, and sat alone at the table where Lu Jiachuan had just been sitting, tightly hugging his head with his thin arms. At this time, sadness had replaced his anger. When he occasionally raised his head, the pale white light of the night lamp illuminated his long face, making it even paler and thinner.

  "Women are the calamity of the world..." He muttered to himself, taking out his handkerchief and slowly wiping away two rolling tears.

  After successfully finding Li Dajie and telling her Lu Jiaquan's words, Dao Jing hurried to the street and quickly hired a car to rush back to her apartment. Sitting in the car, she was initially excited and happy after completing her task, but gradually, she was seized by an inexplicable anxiety - thinking of Lu Jiaquan's dangerous situation, a premonition-like misfortune made her feel uneasy and frightened for no reason. She sat in the car dazedly until they were about to arrive at the alley entrance, when she suddenly remembered Lu Jiaquan's reminder to check if someone was following behind. She scolded herself inwardly, "Damn it!", quickly turned around and looked around - only to see that the quiet alley was dark and empty, with no one in sight. Only then did she put her mind at ease. After getting off the car, she deliberately walked around several small alleys before returning to the apartment with a nervous heart.

  It was almost midnight, the lights in the house were turned off, and it was pitch black. Dao Jing walked into the room and turned on the light with a trembling hand. She took a closer look: Lu Jia-chuan was nowhere to be seen, only Yu Yong-ze was sleeping with his head facing inward on the bed. Seeing her come in, he flipped his eyelids without making a sound.

  Dào Jìng was too busy to notice Yu Yongze's annoyance and hastily asked him: "When did you come back? Where is Lú Jiāchuān?"

  "Huh? That's strange! I wasn't entrusted with taking care of your friend. Where did he go? How would I know?"

  "Yong Ze, I never thought you'd be so shameless! Let me tell you, if Lu Jia Chuan gets caught tonight, I'll think it's because of your betrayal!" Dao Jing suddenly came up with this sentence, she glared at him fiercely, treating him as an enemy.

  Yu Yongze suddenly sat up, as if he had grasped something, and changed his previous pitiful expression. With a cold and sinister smile, he said: "It's not time to betray people yet! If my lover is taken away by someone, that's not certain."

  The midnight lamp emitted a bleak white light, and the faces of the two people were also as bleakly white as the light.

  She calmed down a bit, and then asked in a lowered voice: "Yong Ze, let's not misunderstand each other! No one wants to take your loved one away. Things are urgent, tell me where Lu Jia Chuan went?"

  "At ten o'clock, as soon as I came back, he left." Yu Yongze shook his head with a bitter smile and said, "How could anyone be willing to stay with someone like me who's fallen behind? Of course they'd leave when they see me. Please rest assured! I, Yu, still have a conscience and wouldn't betray anyone."

  Her heart was in a state of turmoil, with seven ups and downs, and she didn't know whether to be happy or worried. Lu Jia-chuan hadn't been caught because of her, but that didn't make her feel any better. If he went out and got caught, it would still be her fault! She thought about this, sitting in a chair with her head down for a while, the room feeling as stifling as her heart. Then she walked into the courtyard and stood under the shade of a jujube tree, gazing blankly at the starry sky. A sense of guilt from not completing her mission made her face burn, and her emotions were in an abnormal state of anxiety.

  "Hey, go to sleep! Do you want to stand in the yard until dawn?" Yu Yongze shouted from inside the house. Obviously, he hadn't slept either, waiting for her. She didn't respond to him, still standing there, staring at the gray and hazy horizon. After who knows how long, she finally seemed to wake up, softly sighing.

  "What's wrong with you being so nervous! - Just wait. Three days will pass quickly."