Chapter 3: The Coward's Choice

  "Bang!" Duan Lan Zhi's phone fell onto the table, and she looked me up and down with her big eyes, seemingly trying to see if I was joking. Apparently, she couldn't find any sign of deception on my face, so she apologized: "Sorry."

  I shook my head: "Nothing, I'm not the me from five years ago."

  Just then, Duan Lan Zhi's phone rang again. She gave me an apologetic look before answering the call: "Hello. Is it really not possible? How can auxiliary police earn merits? By the time I've earned enough merits, all the cases will have been solved! I really want to participate in this case because the victim is a family member of one of my good friends. Okay, thank you, Teacher Qu, I'll head back now."

  I.

  I.

  We see eye to eye.

  "You go first." I made a welcoming gesture with my hand.

  "I have to go back, leave your number with me," she said.

  "Okay. My number is 153***." I reported my number and soon my mobile phone rang, it was Duan Lanzhi's number.

  "What were you just going to say?" she asked.

  "There's nothing important, you go ahead and busy yourself first, we'll talk later." I smiled at her.

  "Alright, keep in touch." She nodded.

  At the entrance of Yuan Zhongyuan Flavor Beverage Shop, we two held our respective drinks and went separate ways, she to the left and I to the right, don't know when we can meet again.

  I've indeed become much stronger than I was five years ago. When my foster father, Zheng Guotang, passed away, I simply returned to the low-rent house, cried for a while, and then felt much better. I'm a bit afraid of this self of mine, as it seems to be too cold-blooded.

  To avoid the contradictions in my own mind, I started forcing myself to think about Duan Lanzhi, thinking about her past, wondering if I still liked her as much as I did a few years ago, guessing how she felt about me, and questioning why she wanted to become a police officer.

  Why on earth did she want to become a police officer? I pondered until late at night and finally fell asleep.

  That night, I didn't have any dreams at all.

  I was woken up by the ringing of my alarm clock and found that it was already 6 o'clock, a brand new day. I thought the call was from Officer Liu, but unexpectedly, it was Duan Lan Zhi, the girl I had been thinking about all night.

  "What's up?" I asked. The mobile phone's first launch address:

  "Can't call you for nothing?" Duan Lan Zhi smiled, seemingly remembering that today wasn't a suitable day to smile, hurriedly covering her mouth and instead asked: "Haven't gotten out of bed yet?"

  "It's nothing." I replied simply.

  I and Duan Lan Zhi have been like this since we were in school, the back-and-forth conversation has always been so uninteresting. The difference is that during our school days, I was always very proactive in asking questions, while Duan Lan Zhi gave simple answers. Now, however, it seems like the roles of the two of us have switched, with Duan Lan Zhi being proactive in asking questions and me giving simple answers.

  "It's like this, today your foster father is buried, I'll go with you." she said.

  I have some reservations.

  "How about it? Don't you want to go together?" asked Duan Lan Zhi.

  "I'm somewhat reluctant to go," I said.

  "What's wrong?" Duan Lan Zhi obviously didn't understand my idea.

  "I'm afraid of the people in my adoptive father's household coming, after all, my adoptive father came here because of me." My voice dropped a few tones.

  ...... On the other end of the phone, Duan Lan Zhi fell into silence.

  "Let me think about it some more, I'll call you once I've decided." I said.

  "Good." she replied.

  The two of us hung up the phone simultaneously in perfect tacit understanding.

  My foster father Zheng Guotang's experience, I heard him say that during his university days, he had a girlfriend and got married after graduation. My foster father studied psychology, which was just emerging in the country at that time, so he can be considered one of the most sought-after psychological experts in the country. His wife was also a talented woman in the university, they were a perfect match.

  What a cruel joke fate played on him. His wife died in childbirth along with their unborn child when he was 24 years old. He became a medical disturbance and was arrested by the police. Fate was not kind to him, and the following year, his father died of a stroke at home, while his mother suffered from high blood pressure due to the consecutive blows and had been bedridden for many years.

  To make a living, he came to Rongwei City Shelter, where his talent for psychology was re-exhibited.

  Zheng Guotang did not only raise me as his adopted son, he used the remaining money from treating his mother's illness to adopt seven other children besides me. However, what he invested in me was the most, and for my sake, he even quit his job and came to Qilu City.

  I once asked him with great puzzlement, and he just smiled and said that he felt a connection with me.

  This is also why I didn't want to attend his funeral today.

  I'm afraid of facing his other adopted children, I'm afraid of facing his paralyzed elderly mother in bed.

  I am a coward.

  No, I am not willing to be a coward.

  After half an hour of deliberation, I dialed Officer Liu's phone number.

  "Officer Liu, have my foster father's other relatives arrived?" I asked.

  "His other foster children came, three of them. Her elderly mother's condition is unstable, so after communicating with the medical institution where her elderly mother is located, it was decided not to tell her, let the old lady enjoy her later years in peace." Officer Liu replied, and then, as if he had thought of something, asked: "By the way, I heard from Xiaoduan that you didn't want to come?"

  I smiled and said, "My foster father's funeral, how could I not attend?"

  "Did someone drive to pick you up?" Officer Liu asked again.

  "No need, just send me the address by SMS, I'll go with Duan Lan Zhi," I said.

  Then I called Duan Lanzhi and said that I had thought it through and was going to go, but unexpectedly she said that she was just downstairs.

  I guess Duan Lanzhi must have arrived downstairs when she made her first phone call to me, which is quite touching.

  "How much longer?" I asked.

  "Not long." she replied.

  "Thank you," I said.

  "There's nothing." She smiled at me and took out two black armbands from her bag, put one on her own arm, and then gave me the other.

  We came to the Fushouyuan Cemetery by taxi, which is the best cemetery in Qilu City. On the way here, Duan Lanxi told me that it was Officer Liu who organized a donation within the bureau, so we could buy a plot for my foster father. Through connections, they allowed us to bury him today without an appointment.

  "How much did you donate?" I asked.

  "Not much." She smiled and changed the subject, but I saw a lie in her eyes. I guessed that, given her personality, she must have donated at least half of her living expenses.

  "Thank you," I said.

  "Oh dear, I've told you before, don't mention those two words, it's too presumptuous!" She was somewhat angry.

  I smiled and said: "Okay."

  According to Officer Liu's text message, we came to a place not far from Zheng Guotang's tomb.

  From a distance, his grave looked very desolate. The red firecrackers beside the tombstone clearly indicated that the burial ceremony had been completed. In front of the tombstone stood five people, two of whom were crying especially hard - they were Zheng Guotang's other two adopted sons. I didn't recognize the remaining three people.

  "The director said that solving the case as soon as possible is the best explanation for the families and victims, so he only assigned four auxiliary police officers including me. Your foster father's other adopted daughter is taking a flight and won't arrive until this afternoon." Duan Lan Zhi said: "Let's go then."

  "I didn't move: 'Just take a look here, wait for them to leave, and then we'll go past.'"

  I really don't want to face Zheng Guotang's other two adopted sons, I don't want them to question me, I don't want them to blame me, and I don't want them to comfort me.

  Duan Lan Zhi finally understood my idea and nodded in agreement.

  Two other adopted sons of Zheng Guotang were saying something in front of his tomb, I couldn't hear it at all, but from the reddened eyes of the three police officers, it can be seen that they were probably "reminiscing" with their adoptive father, and their words touched a certain emotional nerve in these police officers.

  After another ten or so minutes, just as I was getting a bit impatient, the sky turned gloomy and soon afterwards, small raindrops started falling down sparsely.

  This summer is quite cool, and it seems to be the case nationwide. Zheng Guotang's two adopted sons apparently did not expect the change in weather and were worried that the rain would pour down heavily, getting their expensive clothes wet. After discussing with three auxiliary police officers for a few sentences, they finally got up and showed signs of wanting to leave.

  I pulled Duan Lanxi behind a tombstone, and only when I was sure they had left did I let out a sigh of relief. I saw that Duan Lanxi's face was flushed as she stared at me, and suddenly I felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her. As my lips drew closer to hers, she quickly placed her hand between our mouths and whispered, "Not here."

  Yes, I just remembered the purpose of our trip is to see my adoptive father.

  The raindrops didn't get bigger, but their density increased a lot. I don't know if that counts as raining heavily or not.

  I came to the grave of my adoptive father Zheng Guotang, looked at the Wei-style characters on the tombstone, and could no longer hold back the pain in my heart, bursting into loud wails. The quiet cemetery seemed to echo only with my own crying voice.