Chapter 36 Return to the Mortal World

  The calabaza's words made me laugh and cry at the same time, this fatty stuck in the ghost gate, with a wrinkled shape like the Qilian Mountains, only the frame of his eyes can be seen.

  Looking at the downfall of this guy who was once so proud and had the goal of fooling all the young girls, I also can't bring myself to mock him anymore.

  I am not a person who kicks someone when they are down. I stood up and made a dignified gesture, proving that wealth and power cannot corrupt me.

  "What are you crying about, Boss Hu?" I heard Hu Luobo, who didn't even cry when he was beaten up just now, sobbing with a rising and falling tone.

  "Zhuo brothers, you stepped on my face."

  I quickly lowered my head and shifted my feet, and with a cry of "Ah ya ma ya", I found that the boss's three-layered face was now flat on the ground due to his obesity. I had inadvertently stepped on a small part of his face skin, and in an instant, I had stepped on a large area of it. The foot feel was surprisingly soft and elastic.

  I said with great embarrassment: "Rumor has it that Mr. Hu is very particular about his face, and indeed the reputation is not in vain. Sorry, sorry......"

  "This gourd is sighing and complaining, 'It's all because of those rascals forcing me to lose face. Alright, alright. Consider yourself lucky that I'm still alive. Back then, whoever dared to trample on my gourd's face, I would definitely dig up their ancestral grave.'"

  Forget it, a phoenix that has lost its feathers is not as good as a chicken! Never mind the nonsense, being able to meet an acquaintance in this godforsaken place is also our greatest fate. Little Zhuo, brother, how did you die?

  Although Hululu's eyeballs are gone, logically speaking, you should be able to see me. With my spring breeze-like demeanor, delicate and intricate shape, and rosy complexion, where is the slightest hint of death? Truly, you have no eye for beauty!

  So I told him in a modern, extremely simple and Bohemian narrative style, after simply explaining my legendary experience with ups and downs, this old guy suddenly became so excited that he couldn't help himself, hugged my feet, and crawled to beg for mercy with his face knocking on the ground.

  "Brother Zhuo, Lord Zhuo, Grandfather Zhuo, save me! Aren't you going to ascend back to the world of the living? Take me with you and I'll give you my two secretaries and ten bodyguards. You can directly promote them to deputy mine director..." This is a tough test for me as soon as I take office, facing bribery.

  "Old Hu, you really think highly of me, but I'm not sure about this matter. Why don't I ask my ancestors?" I turned around to look at my ancestors who were in the middle of conducting ghostly ideological education work. The burning saliva stars shot out, and the gate-squeezing ghost king and the ten great killing ghostly horsemen were sweating profusely, almost fainting.

  "I remember Old Hu, you've always been in good health, and this little girl has also gone through a lot. How did you quietly end up here? It seems like I won't be leaving the coal mine for many more days." I gazed down at Hu Hulu, who was struggling to breathe.

  This accumulation of fat is so overwhelming that it's really difficult to get in, and it's truly a dilemma whether to advance or retreat.

  Stop it, it's all tears. Recently, my mine has attracted a new batch of migrant workers at a low price, with long-term wage arrears, making me quite wealthy.

  When I have a lot of money, I'll splurge! It's uncomfortable to be stingy. Now that I'm rich, shouldn't I contribute to those lonely and cold little sisters? So I invited over 10 little sisters to sing KTV with me, it was so much fun, hugging for warmth, especially exciting!

  "You also know that when I'm excited, I like to sing high notes. Little sister applauds, my hormones are over the top, and as soon as I pretend to be cool, I get drunk and jump out of the window. Damn 16 floors! I was paralyzed and woke up here! I'm also doing it for little sister's sake, can be considered a heroic act?"

  Listening to this guy's nonsense, he really died in a creative way.

  "Huh? I, Hu Lu, have served so many young ladies in my life, without complaint or regret, working tirelessly and selflessly. Who would have thought that I'd die like this, without even a warning? And to think that the money in the safe under my bed hasn't even been spent yet! Is there anything more tragic than dying before spending one's own money?"

  It seems to be quite miserable indeed.

  Looking at the half of Hu Lu's body stuck outside the door, I tried to pull it a couple of times, but this body was as still as a small mountain. It seems that we can only wait for our ancestors' ideological education to be completed before lending a hand.

  At this time, I heard a commotion at the Ghost Gate, "Isn't it endless? When you're alive, you line up, and when you die, you still line up to enter the Ghost Gate. Now, with such a big chrysanthemum in front of me, even the desire to line up is gone."

  The calabash shouted painfully "Don't poke anymore, one more poke and it'll be pulled out!" This body directly caused traffic paralysis.

  "Otherwise, let's borrow a crying stick from that black and white yin-yang, okay? Using our hands seems unsanitary. Maybe if it's a bit longer and deeper, we can squeeze in, who knows. As I spoke, I saw Hu Li's expression was very complex, with sweat all over his head, and I couldn't help but move my hands to the back of my body."

  As the wailing and howling sounds rose outside the Ghost Gate, Hu Lu held my feet and cried like a helpless child.

  I was moved by a pang of sympathy, and I asked a gatekeeper ghost named Xiū Dāo for a chopstick. I quickly walked up to Hu Lü Bo and handed it to him, saying "Master Hu, bite down on the chopstick and it won't hurt, you must hold on!"

  ……。

  For about the time it takes to burn an incense stick, this calabaza was sometimes dizzy and sometimes awake, sometimes very happy and sometimes crying painfully, really crying as soon as she opened her eyes and fainting in the blink of an eye.

  At this time, I heard the door next to the ghost gate squeezing its head with the ghost soldiers yawning and applauding on one side. I knew that the ancestral ideological education work had finally come to an end. This lesson was taught, and it's really not easy for these ghost soldiers to survive until now.

  The ancestors have finished speaking to those ghostly gatekeepers, I heard the ancestors say: "Finally, I'll make three more points..." I reckon that in another hour, it will definitely be over. And among those ghostly gatekeepers, several of them seemed to have fainted and were dragged away.

  "Alas, this wretched stick has been worn out from being used to whip people. What's to be done? Should compensation be made?" I heard a timid voice say from outside the pass.

  "What's this yellow thing on the stick?"

  "My day is crap!"

  Grass

  The calabash lifted his sweaty face, smiled awkwardly at me and said, "Brother, you've seen a joke, it's too damn cool, I couldn't hold back!" Looking at those eye sockets without pupils, I covered my nose to show understanding.

  At this time, Zu Zong was holding a cup of coffee and swaying over, presumably having finished talking about those three points.

  "My former boss in the coal mine, apart from being a bit sly and lecherous, stingy with money, deducting wages, and not taking responsibility when things go wrong... doesn't have any other flaws."

  Looking at Hu Lu's sweaty face, I must have been moved by his confession and fainted again from lack of breath.

  "This won't do, stuck in the door, affecting work." As he spoke, Zuzong took a step forward, stood on Li Hulu's back, and with a few kicks and jumps, Li Hulu's body was flattened by a lot. Zuzong pulled him in with one swift motion, neat and efficient.

  The killer beside him suddenly stood up and applauded, constantly discussing "This leader is a leader, look at this trample, three souls and six souls are scattered, all trampled into relics."

  Listening to the ghost's gossip, I suddenly got wet.

  When the gourd woke up, it found itself in a confined space. Looking back at its own body, it saw that it was surrounded by withering chrysanthemums, and it was so moved that tears filled its eyes.

  Gourd hugged my thigh and said, "Zhuo Fan brothers, no, Xiao Cui brothers, take me with you, let's go back to the sun together, comfort those lonely, quiet and cold little sisters together."

  This proposal is good, but my current identity is completely beyond my ability range.

  "I said, 'Old Hu, brother, all I can do is ask the waiters to be gentle when serving you, don't use too much force,'"

  "There's also food, all for you brothers, why be polite? Is there wine and water, is there a little sister?" It seems that Old Hu is really fond of Little Sister, they've mixed to this extent, still thinking about those lonely, quiet, and cold little sisters.

  I grasped Hu's gourd-shaped hand and said, "Don't worry, Boss Hu, just go with peace of mind. There are plenty of dishes here, four in the Blood River Pool, eighteen major dish systems afterwards, countless others, eat slowly, don't worry about Little Sister's affairs, leave it to me."

  Watching Mr. Hu follow the yin messenger, rubbing his belly with a happy smile as he walked away, I bowed deeply towards his receding back and whispered, "Farewell, calabaza."

  After the commotion caused by Hu Luobo, the Ghost Gate became unobstructed again. Seeing many ghost citizens entering the gate, I hastily stepped aside to make way.

  At this time, the ancestors faced the gate-keeping Door Ghost King and said, "Old Door, this is a descendant of my Cui family. Now it's daytime and yin and yang are different. From now on, everyone will recognize each other. When entering and leaving the door, be polite. If I hear that you've done something shameful, such as asking for red envelopes, we'll settle all accounts together."

  The sweat on Wang's forehead was like he had just been fished out of the water.

  "Ancestor, this seems to be a one-way road. How am I supposed to get out of this Ghost Gate?" The ancestor heard my question and looked at the gate, asking the ghost king "Is the special VIP passage that I used to take Tang Wang out of the Ghost Gate still there?"

  "In, in, in, all these years, this ghost door has let in countless people, but only one person has come out, that Tang Wang. You, little Cui brother, are the second." The gate-squeezing head ghost king said with a flattering tone.

  Thinking of the previous one who walked this road is the famous Tang King Li Shimin, I stood where he did and suddenly felt an aura that was too strong to be measured by data. I put my hands on my hips, asked my ancestors for a stick of incense to smoke, and took out a ghost token to show the ghost soldier guarding the pass.

  I'm about to return to the world of the living and leave this hell that's been tearing my heart apart. Suddenly, I feel great, as bright and sunny as an August summer day. I couldn't help but hum a melancholic tune.

  The ancestor led the way, and I followed closely behind him. We walked around the city gate to the east for about 100 meters or more, where this door squeezed its head down and searched for something on the city wall.

  As the door creaked open, the wall fell down with a rustling sound, and inside were stuffed many paper money, plastic bags, old lunch boxes and whatnot. As I continued to explore deeper, I saw that on this city wall suddenly appeared a dog hole.

  "Dog hole?" The legendary super YIP channel?

  Looking at the holes in front of me, I was immediately drunk. Through the eyes of my ancestors, I figured it out. These holes are indeed the legendary VIP passage. In fact, I should have known that I was destined to be high and above here.

  I held my ancestor's hand and confessed deeply. My ancestor said casually, don't worry, you will come often.