Chapter 5: My Master is a Toilet

  "In short, that's the whole story."

  At Home Inn, Wang Lu was slurping down a hot and steaming bowl of noodles while seriously explaining something to the boss.

  The boss's wife was chewing garlic while looking at Wang Lu with a slanted eye: "Then what? You just agreed?"

  Wang Lu nodded: "Since things have been said to this point, of course I will agree. Others have already agreed to let me be their plaything, and it would be stupid not to take advantage of such a good opportunity."

  The boss's wife slammed her hand on the table, causing the noodles to splash everywhere: "Where did you get so cheap!? You really think she's an idiot?! That guy may not be reliable, but he's a Golden Elixir cultivator, and a peak Golden Elixir cultivator at that! You, who haven't even cultivated half of your physical body, dare to think that a Golden Elixir cultivator would serve as your plaything? Get out of here! You'd better just go masturbate yourself!"

  Wang Lu quickly picked up his bowl of noodles and dodged the boss's wife's lightning-fast slap, saying: "Anyway, I'm not the one going on stage, what am I afraid of?"

  "Nonsense, you're betting with her, and I'm the one who's going to fight! I'm just an innkeeper, not the leader of the Lingjian Sect! You want me to engage in a martial arts competition with a Golden Elixir cultivator? What have I done wrong to you over the past two years?"

  Wang Lu was calm and unhurried: "That's right, my master said that he would suppress his own power to the level of a mortal."

  The boss's wife waved her hand: "She's just pretending to be arrogant! Even if the Golden Elixir Cultivator didn't use the Heaven and Earth Spiritual Energy and his own magical powers, relying solely on the Jade Mansion Immortal Heart would be enough to trample any mortal warrior! You idiot, after being with her for two years, you still don't understand her? When will she ever bet on a non-essential gamble?"

  “… Does she really have to be so stingy and even deduct her disciple's allowance? I often hear her muttering in her sleep, crying out 'my money ah, why didn't I invest more...' and such. Wang Lu shook his head very disapprovingly, "Moreover, Boss Lady, you're not just an ordinary mortal martial artist, are you? The image of you shouting and fighting your way through, dismantling magical artifacts with your bare hands, is still vivid in my memory.”

  "... " As soon as this topic was mentioned, the boss's wife fell silent, obviously not very pleased.

  Wang Lu understood in his heart that although the boss's wife had a heroic and generous spirit, she was after all a woman, and still a fairly attractive one (on the condition that she dressed herself up neatly), and her past life as a mysterious black shadow who would shriek and shout wildly, obviously belonged to her dark history.

  But at the critical moment, no matter what your history is, it will be exposed without error! However, seeing that the boss's wife has a strong resistance, let's do some psychological work, comfort and persuade her with reason and emotion.

  "It's like this, at first I didn't think I'd get on badly with my master, but she said that mortal martial arts are nothing compared to the immortal Tao! No matter if you're a pre-heavenly martial artist or a martial saint or emperor, just a Qi-refining cultivator can beat you into a pulp! And she said that whoever taught me martial arts must have had worms in their brain, otherwise they'd be deceiving the world and wasting their talent. Moreover, most likely it's some uncouth, unrefined, uncultured, low-quality, poorly-educated wild woman who'll never find a husband, nor even a girlfriend, and her only friends will be her fingers and cucumbers... after thirty she might raise a few large dogs to improve her life, haha..."

  "Shut up!"

  The landlady glared with anger, and with one slap, the dinner table was smashed to smithereens! Not four or five pieces, but a thick, solid red wood dining table was slapped into a mess of wooden chips by her, leaving no remains!

  "How dare you! How dare you say that about me?!"

  Whoa! The boss's wife, in a fit of rage, with her top-notch martial arts skills, couldn't control the force in her hands and crushed the bowl she was holding into powder!

  "Wang Lu, take me up the mountain right now! If you don't beat her until she's covered in bruises, I'll close down this inn for good today! And tomorrow, I'll become a monk!"

  Wang Lu nodded slowly: "Good."

  It wasn't until then that I suddenly realized, was my way of comforting people a bit off? Alas, what's the difference anyway, it all ends up the same! The righteous warrior boss lady is enraged by the shame of the five elders, this script is simply awesome, if you don't reward the alliance leader, it's not enough!

  The boss's wife was a decisive person, and once she made up her mind, she immediately set off up the mountain with a fierce killing intent, accompanied by Wang Lu who was eager to watch the excitement.

  The two disciples guarding the mountain gate, who would normally smile and greet the boss's wife, were now frozen in fear by the girl with eyes as red as blood, like a ghostly demon lord. The two blue-clad men suddenly became silent, pretending they had seen nothing.

  Before long, the boss and Wang Lu had arrived at Wuxiang Peak. The boss was majestic and shouted loudly: "Wang Wu, get out here for me!"

  "Whose stray dog is this?! Disturbing people's peaceful afternoon, beware of being struck by heavenly thunder for your lack of virtue!"

  Wang Lu was shocked and speechless: "Damn, this stupid b*tch is really something! With her character, she still has the nerve to mention Tian Jie? And sleeping in until afternoon, is she trying to hibernate?"

  The boss's wife gritted her teeth: "Today I'll let her sleep forever!"

  Then with a burst of murderous aura, he kicked open the door and Wang Lu followed closely behind, only to see his master inside, who was still putting on his clothes.

  Master was shocked: "My god! You're playing rogue!? Kicking the hall is one thing, but you don't even give me a few minutes to change clothes!?"

  The landlady stood silently for a moment at the door, then quietly closed it.

  Wang Lu also had nothing to say, and stood outside the house whistling to himself, without saying a word.

  After a while, Master En wore his clothes and finally pushed the door out, but with a look of extreme surprise on his face: "How is it you, little Ling? I thought my eyes were blurry just now."

  Xiao Ling's arms were crossed, her head tilted back: "You've done a good deed yourself, do you still need others to remind you?"

  The result was that Master En shook his head and said: "Damn, don't ask me this, I'm most afraid of others asking me this question, it's a thousand threads and ten thousand strands, I don't know where to start."

  Master, what have you done for me?!

  However, after a while, Master woke up by himself, pointing at Wang Lu and somewhat incredulous: "Xiao Ling, could it be that the master who taught this fool's kung fu is actually you?"

  Xiao Ling'er sneered coldly: "That's right, it's that flat-chested, rough, uncultured, unrefined, and poorly educated wild woman. In the future, not only will she be unable to find a husband, but she won't even have any girlfriends. For the rest of her life, her only friends will be her fingers and cucumbers. After turning 30, she'll probably raise a few large dogs to improve her life, that's the kind of master she is!"

  Master was shocked and suddenly broke out in a cold sweat: "Little Ling, what are you doing?! Are you having a brain cramp from menstrual pain?! You..."

  Xiao Ling also didn't say much: "You and Wang Lu have a bet, don't you? I'm here to help him fulfill the bet. Let's cut the nonsense and fight!"

  "Why must we fight? We are sisters with a deep bond. Whatever issues we have, can't we just talk them out instead of resorting to arms?"

  When mentioning sisterly affection, the boss's wife seemed to hesitate for a moment, lost in thought.

  Wang Lu immediately took advantage of the situation: "Master, you're quite clever. You clearly know there's no chance of winning, yet you use sisterly affection as a shield. You truly live up to your reputation as the shame of the Spiritual Sword."

  Master suddenly became furious: "No need to think about it! I can win in just a minute!"

  "Alright then, I'll give you a minute to beat me."

  "Oh my god, good sister don't squeeze me like this!"

  "It doesn't matter, anyway you'll be done with me in a minute."

  So the white-robed elder was worried, but it only lasted for a moment. The fifth elder lived up to his reputation as a decisive and ruthless person who didn't care about the consequences.

  "Alright, let's fight then! As the saying goes, 'beating is intimacy and scolding is love', our affection has been stagnant for a long time, after this fight, we can probably get married!"

  My god, what a twist! Master, I didn't expect you to be this kind of person!? I completely underestimated your bottom line!

  As for the boss's wife herself, she ignored the elder's muttering and quietly rolled up her sleeves, then took a stance.

  With this battle being unavoidable, Wang Lu also considered his merits complete, and in his heart, he praised himself with a sentence "You're really too handsome", then quietly found a safe corner to sit down and watch the show.

  The master obediently acknowledged her fate, picked up the emerald bamboo sword, and pointed it at her opponent from a distance, preparing to fight. At this time, her spiritual energy was fully retracted, her magical powers were sealed off, and she was indeed just an ordinary cultivator. However, with just a simple opening move, she managed to bring a surge of overwhelming momentum that rushed towards Wang Lu, who was watching from afar.

  Although he was sitting cross-legged, Wang Lu felt that all the muscles in his body were numb and disobedient... Is this the aura of a Golden Elixir cultivator? It's too damn awesome! Wang Lu had practiced the Dragon Subduing Technique for two days, and with his once-in-a-thousand-years martial arts talent, he should be considered a top-notch expert in the mortal world. But as a result, his master's residual wave from just one move made him unable to stand up!

  No wonder the boss said that Jindan cultivators can instantly kill ordinary people with just their Yu Fu Xian Xin, this gap is indeed boundless! With a flick of his majestic aura, ordinary people can only bow their heads in surrender.

  But that's not important at all, because the owner of the Ruyi Inn is also capable of instantly killing ordinary people! As for how high the owner's martial arts cultivation is, Wang Lu didn't quite understand, but in any case it must be a million times higher than the First Heaven Martial Emperor realm. Even if the legendary Martial Saint or Martial Emperor came, they would probably not be able to withstand her fists that could shatter magical artifacts! And when faced with the emerald green bamboo sword of the Golden Elixir cultivator, the owner didn't even flinch.

  Boss's wife, my master's meat grinder transformation strategy depends on you!

  Two sisters, deeply affectionate women, stood facing each other, and after a long time, the master, who had just woken up and hadn't even had lunch yet, couldn't bear it anymore. With a flick of his bamboo sword, countless sword lights rained down like mist, making it impossible to discern their trajectory, but secretly hiding a killing intent.

  Wang Lu's eyes lit up, what a brilliant sword technique! In the past two years, his cultivation may not have made much progress, but his eyesight had been honed by the performances of the many talented disciples within the sect. The Lingjian Sect was named after its swords, and its sword techniques could be said to be the foundation of the sect, with no one being unskilled or unrefined. However, to be able to display such a subtle and hidden, murderous intent-filled sword aura with just ordinary cultivation was not commonly seen even within the Lingjian Sect.

  It seems that although she is stupid and arrogant, as the Fifth Elder, she still has some real skills...

  When faced with Jin Dan's preemptive strike, the boss's wife reacted simply and directly, even appearing crude.

  A straight punch, hitting directly in the face, no fancy moves or even techniques, the only characteristic is fast! Accurate! Ruthless!

  Then comes the time to witness miracles.

  On one hand, the top-notch swordsmanship of the mortal world paired with a clearly high-grade emerald green bamboo sword; on the other hand, the delicate, tender and white fist of the boss's wife. Wang Lu widened his eyes and poured all his concentration into trying to see every detail...

  But in the blink of an eye, the outcome was already decided. The emerald green sword light shattered into numerous star-like points and flashed by. And a certain white-robed elder suddenly gained momentum, flying out like a shooting star, crashing into the mountain rocks with a loud rumble, without making a sound!

  The boss's wife snorted coldly and shook her wrist, casting a glance at the rugged rocky area with a look of disdain.

  Damn it! Wang Lu was completely stunned! A renowned Golden Dan master, a respected teacher with real skills and talent, was actually punched into the air like a sandbag by this old lady boss! I really underestimated you, Boss Lady. I thought you were a hidden character in Lingxi Town, but being called a hidden character is an insult to you - you're simply a GM, a creator god, my goodness!

  After a long time, the revered Master finally crawled out from among the rocks, not as disheveled as expected. Although his body inevitably had some dust on it, he didn't look flushed or panting, nor did he seem to have suffered any serious injuries. He simply stood there, hands on his hips, sighing helplessly.

  "Damn it, without using Sacred Path's power, I really can't withstand your ordinary attacks. Xiao Ling'er, you're indeed a heaven-defying person!"

  The boss's wife still had a straight face and didn't say a word.

  Master's gaze swept across, just in time to see the emerald bamboo sword shattered into dust on the ground. He shook his head regretfully: "What a pity, I've lost a precious sword..." Then he casually plucked a green bamboo from the nearby bamboo forest, grasped it and swung it lightly, emitting a burst of green light. In an instant, a brand new emerald bamboo sword identical to the previous one took shape.

  Wang Lu cursed in his heart, thinking that the emerald bamboo sword she always carried with her was at least a magical treasure. But... but it turned out he overestimated this poor wretch! The emerald bamboo sword was just something she had made casually as a toy! It made sense, given this poor wretch's character, if she really did have a magical treasure, she would have sold it to buy wine long ago!

  "But in any case, I lost this time, Xiao Ling, sister will let you handle it!"

  The five elders struck a pose of generous sacrifice, as hypocritical as they could be.

  The boss's wife also couldn't hold back her expression, sighed and said: "You're really... making everyone not know what to say, why bother with this?"

  The five elders were also a bit puzzled by her question: "Huh, what's the point of this? I clearly know I'm no match for you, yet I still have to fight... Oh right, is it because of affection points? Little Ling, do you feel like falling in love with me now?"

  Xiao Ling'er said coldly: "I feel that the punch just now seemed to be light. Besides, according to the bet, the person who can dispose of you at will is not me, but your precious apprentice."

  Mentioning his own apprentice, the five elders finally came to their senses. This matter was clearly him making trouble from start to finish! It's true, he's indeed my apprentice. No wonder the old mixed hair of the sect leader said that you two have a master-apprentice relationship. Such an evil apprentice is truly retribution!

  I'm only a translator, I won't explain or comment on the text. Here is the translation:

  "I can only blame myself for drinking too much those few days ago, and my head was dizzy for a long time. As a result, I fell into that kid's trap! Otherwise, even if I used my aunt's thinking, it would not have been possible to fall for his provocative words! What should I do now? Can I really be his plaything? No way! He is only 14 years old, and his physical development is still incomplete. It must be that he has no skills or techniques, and it won't feel good at all... Although I've never done anything with anyone before, my imagination is enough to predict the future!"

  "Master, actually you don't have to be afraid, I'm not interested in you."

  Wang Lu spoke up, and his master immediately felt at ease: "That's good, that's good. There's no need to rush into this sort of thing, take your time."

  "Hmm, I also think that some things don't need to be rushed, but some things can't wait any longer. Master, I won't ask for anything else, just one thing, please take it more seriously and teach me some real skills."

  "Ugh, you really don't understand the effort I put in. You think I took you on as a disciple just to pamper you? Not to mention, that stupid Palm Gate master made a deal with me - if I can make you successful, wealth and women will be plentiful..."

  Before she could finish speaking, the boss's wife interrupted in a cold voice: "Where did that old rascal find such a beauty?"

  Then the master immediately fell into deep thought.

  Wang Lu had no choice but to steer the conversation back on track: "Let's continue with the original topic of education, Master. Please tell me in detail how you've been painstakingly teaching me."

  Master raised his head: "You first help me think about where that old fool's beauty came from?"

  "I think it's better for you to just be a sex tool."