Chapter Eleven: My White Headscarf

  Under the gaze of colleagues who were sympathetic, condemnatory or gloating, I held back my sorrow and depression, walked to the table, looked at the charred remains in front of me, smelled the lingering smell of smoke, and felt like crying but had no tears.

  Aunt Xǔ came over, she very efficiently used a rag to wipe down the table for me, and then took out a mop to scrub back and forth on the dark floor that still had a lingering smell of burnt offerings.

  She exerted herself with a hunched back, which moved me to the verge of tears.

  My dad and mom didn't treat me like that, if I made a mistake and burned the table at home, they wouldn't spare my butt. Now they're divorced, I don't even have a home anymore.

  A wave of intense sadness surged up in my heart, and I really wanted to throw myself into the arms of Auntie Xu, who looked more and more familiar, and have a good cry.

  But just then, a casual glance from lowered head made my whole body stiffen.

  Xu Aunt's light blue work uniform had a white scarf peeking out from the neckline, just like the one that was snatched away by an ugly woman in her dream.

  I rubbed my eyes hard, trying to see more clearly. But at this time, Auntie Xu had already straightened her waist, and only a faint white mark was visible at the neckline.

  "Alright, I've finished cleaning." She lifted her head, a pair of eyes that had experienced the vicissitudes of life shone brightly, yet emptily stared at me. A few dry and withered white hairs swayed on top of her head, adding an eerie aura to her presence.

  "Uh..." A sense of dread involuntarily rose up within me, the pores on my skin seemingly shrinking, and although I was under the bright daylight, I felt an eerie atmosphere rising around me.

  "Thank you, Aunt Xue." I didn't dare to look at her again and cast my gaze aside, looking at Zhang Xin's white neck, trying not to let my voice tremble as I spoke.

  "Heh heh......" A string of hen-like laughter suddenly burst from Auntie Xu's mouth, and the hairs on my body immediately stood up. I stared at her in shock, but she had already left, with a withered head like a mushroom, and a bloated body that disappeared around the corner.

  I covered my pounding heart and looked around at my colleagues, who were all busy with their work, having lost interest in me and not reacting much to the laughter. Everyone had their faces buried in the shiny computer screens, no one willing to leave for a moment.

  "Didn't you hear that Auntie Xu's laughter was quite unusual?" I asked Zhang Xin, still shaken, with half my butt on the charred chair.

  Zhang Xin's beautiful eyes stared at the screen without blinking, as if she hadn't heard me speak. Upon closer inspection, I found that she was wearing headphones.

  I could only awkwardly lower my head, under the clear blue sky and bright daylight, perhaps I was just overthinking. The sunlight had already begun to shine with a scorching radiance on the bright glass, and the haze had also somewhat dissipated, outside the light gray sky unfolded unobstructed before my eyes, but the fear in my heart still couldn't be dispelled.

  At noon, when it was time to eat, I unexpectedly found Yang Xiaofei standing at the entrance of the cafeteria. His crooked body, which didn't match his security guard image at all, leaned against the transparent glass door frame like a withered tree that was about to fall over at any moment. When he saw me, a glimmer of light flashed in his eyes.

  "Su Xiaomei," he shouted at me, "didn't your boss treat you well?"

  "Ah, never mind," I walked into the dining room with my head down, muttering to myself and saying discontentedly: "If I were delicious, the boss would have swallowed me up long ago. This month is considered a waste for me, you don't know that after we got back, the company caught fire again, Liu Shanshan said it was me who made the socket wet, and the boss asked me to compensate."

  "What's going on?... Is it really because of your temper?"

  "I... I don't know either, maybe, well, who knows, anyway the toilet lid is closed, who made me unlucky?"

  "But anyway, your boss is too inhumane, right? Even if the fire caused losses, it's the insurance company that should compensate, why make you pay?" Yang Xiaofei discontentedly pouted and followed behind me. "I find that these rich bosses are all lacking in human touch, one after another they're blinded by money, don't they eat the same food as us common people?"

  "Shh, keep your voice down, don't let anyone hear, I'm scared." I said with a guilty conscience, looking around nervously and speaking in a low tone.

  "Then..." Yang Xiaofei took out another plate from the disinfection cabinet and handed it to me, "Don't be too sad..."

  A warmth rose in my heart as I took the plate, and it felt like a soft string within me was gently plucked open.

  A surge of people suddenly came over, and Yang Xiaofei and I were abruptly separated by several colleagues who were laughing and chatting.

  The entire cafeteria was in an uproar, with the clattering of spoons and bowls, the loud shouting of cooks, the chatter of conversation, combined with the aroma of big pot dishes that filled the entire hall, making it impossible to abandon distractions, as people flowed towards the windows filled with lead-gray aluminum basins.