Chapter 8: Refused by You, I'm Heartbroken (Part 1)

  Xiying said he would send me back, why did I refuse him?

  Before, our class changed seats, I didn't sit with He Xiyin together, and my new deskmate was Li Yi who originally sat next to me.

  Li Yi is said to be someone who likes me very much, and because he likes me, his words and deeds are always tense. The classmates behind him always whisper and tease, which makes me feel disgusted.

  One day, Jingjing said to me: "Qingyi, Li Yi really likes you, didn't you notice? From the first day you came, he has liked you, he's a good person and also a class committee member, very active in class, we all see his distress, if you're not willing then you should tell him clearly."

  "How am I supposed to make it clear to him? He didn't even say anything to me. If he likes me, that's his business, what does it have to do with me?" I was so agitated that I almost choked on my words.

  "You have to make it clear with him, otherwise he will always hold onto hope for you, and in the end, you still can't be together, which is a waste, isn't this affecting him?"

  "I don't care if you're my friend or not, who are you speaking for?!" said in an angry and slightly petulant tone.

  "Qing Yi, I'm just reminding you it's better this way." Jing Jing seems more mature than me in this aspect.

  "Alright, let me think about it." I pondered.

  I went back home and thought for a long time, I'm still young, with my experience, I couldn't think of any good solution. If I don't take care of this matter, he will always be so tense, even when distributing exercise books or test papers, it's like that. Then, the classmates behind him are still mocking and teasing me. They often discuss all sorts of things about me with him, which affects me too, making it impossible for me to focus on studying. At least when they're discussing me, I couldn't pretend not to hear, because I'm sensitive. You say I should take care of it! But I still can't think of any perfect solution.

  Alright, I'll make it clear to him, anyway, we have to face it, the development and outcome of things afterwards will just be up to fate.

  So I plucked up the courage and said to him: "After school, I have something to talk to you about."

  This matter is not suitable to be discussed in school, so we had to come to a small garden near the school. The small garden was next to a river that flowed from a nearby park, and there were several stone stools on the riverbank where we sat down to talk. Looking at the river water and the flowers blooming by the shore, it actually had a poetic feel to it, but unfortunately, it didn't match the content of today's conversation at all.

  He is indeed a class committee member, with excellent eloquence and fluent speech. When he told me about some of his childhood experiences, I knew that today was not the day to come here, as it would be impossible to resolve the issue, because I couldn't bear to mention my true intentions, and I couldn't find an opportunity to express my thoughts. At the root of it all, I am a person who does not want to hurt others, and there are some words of rejection that I still cannot bring myself to say.

  I had written down on paper beforehand the words of refusal I couldn't bring myself to say, but I couldn't find an opportunity to show them to him.

  I am just such a kind and soft-hearted person.

  This trip was a complete waste of time. Li Yi probably still thinks that I have the same thoughts as him in my heart. This is truly contrary to my original intention!

  It seems I have to think of another way to nip this unexpected mistake in the bud.

  I sincerely hope I can find the best solution to get out of this situation as soon as possible, so that these days of unintentionally admiring flowers will also leave me far away.