Chapter 4: Da P's Calculations Fall Through (2)

  After dinner, my aunt drove me home. When we arrived at the gate of my house, she said to me: "I won't send you up there, don't always look sad when you haven't seen your dad and mom for a week. Be good."

  I nodded.

  I couldn't help but make a bitter face, the house was in shambles, as if it had just gone through a disaster. Dad was smoking on the balcony, and Mom was hiding in the bathroom and wouldn't come out. Needless to say, the war must have just ended.

  I entered my room and slammed the door shut.

  Such days, I don't know when they will end.

  I'm sitting by the window. The night sky is a deep blue, and I can hardly believe that the place where the stars are twinkling is where I was flying lightly today. I don't understand how that virtual feeling could be more real than reality itself. I also thought of that little wizard named Yue Qingfeng, wondering if he should also get off work from the game and return to his real life, eating, sleeping, doing homework?

  How old is he, eighteen, nineteen, or twenty?

  He is very similar to Da P, but between his eyebrows, there is a more mature and stable air about him compared to Da P.

  I hope tonight I can still dream of him. Let him take me out of the labyrinth and to that warm, motionless blue ocean.

  That is where the sanctuary without pain and despair painted by Xiao Yi is located.

  Mom finally came knocking on my door and asked if I was getting used to boarding at school. I said coldly that even living in a refugee camp would be better than living in this home.

  Mom's mouth moved slightly, then she didn't say anything and went out.

  I couldn't sleep, so I went online and used Google to search for "Yue Qingfeng". The search results were: Sorry, no matching search results.

  I'm very disappointed.

  At midnight, I went out to get a drink of water. The bathroom door was open with the light on. As I walked over, I found my mom scrubbing one of my jeans vigorously. That pair of jeans had been worn for many days and must have been very dirty. She was squatting there scrubbing hard, her back looking old.

  I really wanted to cry, but I held back my tears in the end.

  All these years, the pain she and dad brought to me far exceeded the joy and happiness they gave me. Anyway, I hate them for bringing me such a hollow and painful growth period, and will continue to hate them.

  The first class on the second day was Chinese.

  As usual, there was a three-minute speech before class.

  Because I don't like speaking in front of people, this is my most hated project.

  But "Bae Yong-joon" called roll by student number, and today it's my turn.

  "Ding Wei," he shouted.

  I didn't get up.

  "Ding Wei!" he shouted again.

  I still haven't stood up.

  It started with a slight commotion, and all eyes were fixed on me.

  At this moment, my deskmate Da P raised his hand. Under the indication of "Bae Yong-joon", he stood up and said: "Teacher, I really want to give a speech today, can I replace Ding Wei?"

  The people in the class burst out laughing.

  Someone said: "A hero saves a beauty."

  I kept my head down and remained silent.

  Regardless of whether "Bae Yong-joon" agreed or not, DaP rushed onto the stage in a very impulsive manner. He stood on the stage and said in a hoarse voice full of passion: The topic of my speech today is "The Meaning of Life"!

  Hehehe, applause like thunder.

  After the laughter and applause died down, Da P began his lengthy speech:

  Recently, I have been thinking about the topic of life. Where do we come from and where are we going? What is the purpose of our existence in this world? I read a sentence in a book: Life is ultimately an illusion. To be honest, this sentence made me feel deeply sad. Think about it, what we are doing today in the classroom, striving hard, fighting with all our might, is it just for an illusion?

  How can this make me, make all of us feel at ease?!

  ……

  You might not believe it, but recently I just went through a death. A real death, at the bottom of a thousand-meter sea, where I couldn't breathe anymore. The fear was something that you, who haven't died before, can never experience. Yet, in that moment, I finally had an epiphany - life is ultimately just an illusion. So, what we can do now is to cherish every day we have, love others, and love this world!

  So now I want to say loudly to everyone: "I love you all!"

  This time there was no applause, nor laughter.

  Because everyone was scared by Da P. His "I love you" shout was earth-shaking, his neck muscles bulged out. Bae Yong-joon patted him on the shoulder to signal him to go down, then flipped open the lesson plan and said: "For a three-minute speech, talk about something practical, don't randomly talk about fairy tales or science fiction next time, it's not good to talk nonsense..."

  Everyone finally relaxed and smiled.

  Only I couldn't laugh.