Chapter 55: Methods (Part 2)

  Actually, the twisted song in my eyes is a very serious matter at my master Zhu Shan Lao Dao's place. However, I am a person who has always been very cheerful, and things that are very serious at my master Zhu Shan Lao Dao's place will immediately become not serious at all when they get to me.

  So, the term "Twist Cane Song", I often mentioned it in front of my master Zhu Shan Lao Dao, and he also got used to it. Therefore, when I call his method Twist Cane Song here, he won't blame me or think that I'm not respectful to him or the Tao.

  After Mao Daoshi finished twisting the corn, he asked my mother to find a sweet potato and also asked her to bring incense. It was only then that I suddenly realized that Mao Daoshi hadn't even lit incense before twisting the corn.

  I know that whenever my master, the old Daoist of Bamboo Mountain, performs any ritual, the first thing he does is to light incense. From this we can see that this Daoist's level is not very good, perhaps he is even a novice.

  However, whether or not to burn incense before each practice is something that my master, Zhangshan Laodao, has not told me yet. So I think that Daoist priest was unprofessional and only made judgments based on his limited experience, so we can't come to any conclusions about this.

  After burning incense, the Taoist priest asked my mother to bring a bowl over.

  To be honest, I wasn't sure if that Taoist priest was unprofessional just because he didn't burn incense earlier. But now, adding the fact that he asked my mom to fetch a bowl while performing the ritual, I can say with certainty that he is indeed unprofessional.

  To know, whether it is my master Zhangshan Lao Dao doing Buddhist rituals or that Hui Zhi monk doing Buddhist rituals. They will all prepare everything that needs to be prepared before doing the Buddhist rituals, and none of them will go get something during the process of doing the Buddhist rituals.

  All sorts of signs have shown that this Taoist priest is definitely a swindler who has no real skills, and even his acting is full of loopholes.

  However, my mom is a kind-hearted person. Although Mao Daoshi's performance was very unprofessional, my mom didn't say anything. But when she went to get the bowl, her face looked obviously unpleasant.

  I know, my mother has already understood in her heart. Inviting this Taoist priest is a mistake and it won't work. However, since we've already invited him, even if he's useless, let him finish the ritual so that everyone can save face.

  My mom later told me that the main reason she didn't dare to drive this Taoist priest away was that his asking price was very low. Even if he was fake, our family wouldn't lose much money. Also, although we weren't from the same village, at least we were from the same township. It's not good to spread the word that we invited someone and then drove them away. So my mom just considered it a loss of wealth to avoid disaster.

  My mother is a kind person, but that Taoist priest is not a good guy. After my mother brought the bowl, the Taoist priest immediately poured some wine into it. After pouring the wine, he used a peach wood sword to pick up several paper money and then danced a few times in a pretentious manner.

  My Shifu, the old Daoist of Bamboo Mountain, once told me that generally speaking, a Daoist with some level of attainment will not have the paper money fall off the peach wood sword after it has been lifted and before it turns to ashes.

  Unfortunately, however, the Taoist priest waved the peach wood sword a few times after picking up the paper money, and the paper money on the sword flew down to the ground.

  After the paper money fell to the ground, Mao Daozi, in order not to reveal his trap, did not pick up the fallen paper money again. Instead, he used the peach wood sword to pick up a few more pieces of paper money from the pile.

  Perhaps to cover up his previous mistake, this time he picked up the paper money and danced twice before deliberately dropping the paper money from the peach wood sword.

  It's just that sometimes things are so strange. This time, the Taoist priest wanted to remove the paper money from the peach wood sword, but the paper money refused to fall off and stuck to the peach wood sword.

  At that time, Mao Daoshi's facial expression was very rich and good-looking. I knew he must have hated to use his hand to tear off the paper money on the peach wood sword. However, there was no glue on the paper money after all. After a chaotic dance by Mao Daoshi, the paper money still couldn't hold on and could only surrender, swaying back and forth until it fell to the ground.

  After watching Mao's farce, I not only found it funny, but also my mom almost burst out laughing.

  I thought that after so many mistakes, the Taoist priest would see good and collect money to leave, no longer continuing this farce. But what I didn't expect was that the Taoist priest was indeed a person with extremely low emotional intelligence and extreme stubbornness. Even at this point, he still doesn't have any intention of stopping, he still wants to continue his clumsy performance.

  After picking up the paper money three times, the Taoist priest finally lit the paper money on the peach wood sword. Just as the paper money was ignited, he hastily put it into the wine bowl.

  This move, I saw my master Zhu Shan Lao Dao use it before. At that time, the paper money on Master Zhu Shan Lao Dao's peach wood sword was completely burned to ashes before being put into the wine bowl. Moreover, the shape of the paper money pointed by my master was still the same as its original shape before burning, even after it had been completely reduced to ashes.

  Mao Daoshi, this guy, not only did he not burn the paper money completely, but he also threw it into a wine bowl. When he threw it, the part of the paper money that had already turned to ash was shaken off and fell to the ground.

  But at this time, I no longer care about the professional level of that Taoist priest. Because in my opinion, he is not even worthy of being called a professional. He also said he was a direct disciple of the Maoshan sect, but in my opinion, he probably doesn't even have a master. With his level, it's likely that he just watched other Taoist priests perform a few times and then learned some superficial skills by following them.

  Now, all I hope is that this farce can come to an end as soon as possible.

  I didn't want to see the ugly face of that Taoist priest anymore, so I kept my eyes on the bowl of wine. Because it was in the wine, the white wine itself was flammable, so when the Taoist priest's paper money fell into the wine bowl, the fire on the paper money not only did not go out, but also ignited together with the white wine in the bowl.

  The white wine was ignited, and the Taoist priest immediately started reciting scriptures again. The scriptures recited by the Taoist priest were also incomprehensible to me, just like my master Zhu Shan Lao Dao's. However, I seemed to hear that he kept repeating the same sentence over and over again.

  Mao Daoshi's scripture was recited for about half an hour. After half an hour, Mao Daoshi's scripture had been finished, and the white wine in the bowl and the paper money had also been burned out, leaving only a little water and ashes of the paper money.

  At this time, the Taoist priest tried to use his hand to lift the bowl. It was estimated that because the bowl was too hot, the Taoist priest's hand only lightly touched the bowl and then immediately withdrew it.

  After shrinking back, Mao Daoshi probably felt that there was nothing to do, so he picked up his peach wood sword again and danced wildly.

  After dancing for about ten or so minutes, it was unclear whether the Taoist priest was tired from dancing or if the bowl had gone cold. In any case, the Taoist priest finally put down the peach wood sword.

  After putting down the peach wood sword, Mao Daoshi's ritual finally reached the last step. He picked up the bowl and drank the water left in it after being burned with wine and the ashes of the paper money in one gulp.

  The water in that bowl, to me, is extremely dirty. If I were asked to drink it, I definitely wouldn't be able to swallow it down. Although Master Mao just put the water into his mouth and spat it out again, I still feel nauseous.

  Pfft...

  Just as I thought that the Taoist priest would spit the dirty water from his mouth onto his peach wood sword, that damn guy actually aimed his mouth at me and sprayed all that filthy water right onto my face.

  This time, I was shocked, and even my mom was shocked too.

  "Three days later, you can wash your face, otherwise this ritual is in vain." Mao Dao said to my mother.

  That damned Taoist with a messy beard not only spat a mouthful of dirty water in my face, but also said something so shameless to my mom, it's really infuriating me.

  "Uh-huh, okay." My mom could only say that and quickly handed over the money to get rid of that damned Taoist.

  Unfortunately, my mother actually believed in what that quack doctor said and didn't let me wash my face for three whole days.