Yin and Yang Lovers

  It is often said that past events are unbearable to recall, and it has already been three years since Ji Lian passed away. I was with him for four years. The things I just thought of happened eight years ago!

  Eight years! I was 19 when I met him, now I'm already 27.

  If Ji Lian hadn't had an accident three years ago, when he was in his prime, our wedding would have taken place as scheduled. I'm afraid that by now, we would already have children who could call us Dad and Mom.

  Thinking of this, my tears flowed uncontrollably. Although I had been suppressing my thoughts of him and accepted Sun Wen, my longing was like a floodgate that once opened, surged through my mind and could no longer be stopped.

  Why did I think of him at this moment? Was it because of those two vague calls I heard during the day?

  I'm a bit resentful of myself, when he suddenly passed away, I hugged the wedding dress he had tailored for me and locked myself in the room for three days and nights, not eating or drinking, not seeing anyone, almost crying out all my tears, and even his funeral I didn't attend, I was afraid that I would lose control and sanity when he was buried.

  Finally, Sun Wen persuaded me to open the door. He told me that Ji Luan still had some unfinished experiments and was only a little short of completing them. As his fiancée and good brother, we should work together to sort out the data he left behind and help him fulfill his last wish.

  This became the creed that I could hold on to for the next two years.

  Those two years, I suffered from severe depression and auditory hallucinations, constantly hearing Ji Xuan's voice in the dark corners talking to me, calling my name. I knew I was ill, but I didn't tell anyone, quietly going to see a psychologist instead.

  The doctor didn't say anything, just told me "take it easy" and prescribed a medicine to calm my nerves and dispel melancholy.

  I didn't even take medicine because I actually enjoyed this conversation with Jielan, even if it was just a fantasy.

  I'm afraid that once I cooperate with the treatment, Jiyan will completely disappear from my life.

  I don't want it like that!

  Because I'm an outsider, after graduation and engagement, I also cohabited with Ji Luan. Many of his things were in our new home. I couldn't understand their documents, so I often brought Sun Wen back to let him sort them out himself.

  After a long time, Sun Wen discovered my little secret.

  Finally, one time he discovered that I had thrown away the full bottle of medicine that my psychologist had just prescribed for me. He seriously talked to me, "Liang Pei, what you did is not right."

  I looked at his face and felt a little dazed.

  He walked up to me, gently embracing me, "Ji Luan has been gone for two years, you should have your own life, shouldn't be stuck in the past, indulging in thoughts of him, you'll ruin yourself."

  I buried my face in his chest and burst into tears, "He didn't leave, he never left, he exists in every space of my life, talking to me, caring about me, encouraging me...".

  "Wake up! How is that possible? He's dead! Dead! Do you understand? He's now just a handful of ashes, buried in the cemetery! He won't say another word to you!" Sun Wen shook my shoulder and said sternly, "You have to take your medicine! These medicines are to help you walk out of the shadows and welcome new life. Listen to me, I'll accompany you through it, okay?"

  I shook my head, "Don't, don't let Jilan leave me..."