Chapter 9: The Crazy Divine Doctor (Part 1)

  A single lamp was like a bean. The dim yellow light shone on Xiao Si's eyes, and he slowly came to, feeling as if he had just woken up from a very long dream, but all the scenes in his dreams were blank.

  After a while, his consciousness gradually returned to the real world, but his body still had a kind of illusion that was still flying in the clouds, lazy and unwilling to think.

  In the midst of his daze, he vaguely saw a figure standing in front of him. It wasn't until much later that he was able to make out that it was an old Daoist wearing black clothes. If not for their vastly different builds, Xiao Si would have almost mistaken him for Ye Fashan.

  "Huh, how did I end up here?" Xiang Xiao Si's memories began to slowly resurface, recalling the situation before he fainted, fragments of memory and familiar names slowly floated into his mind.

  He suddenly realized that the old Taoist in black was standing beside him with his hands moving non-stop, as if he was busy doing something.

  Xiao Si carefully observed and saw the black-robed old Taoist with one hand grasping a blood-soaked intestine, while the other hand skillfully sewed it up with needle and thread. Sometimes, when both hands were not enough, he would use his teeth to hold onto the intestine, then continuously pour in lumps of greenish-yellow viscous paste.

  It seems this old Taoist is stuffing sausage.

  Xiao Si suddenly understood and lazily closed his eyes, asking: "Are you using pig intestines?"

  "Shut up!" The old Taoist in black clothes said unclearly, and put the intestines in his hand into a circle and stuffed them into a certain place.

  Xiao Si was dazed for a moment, and vaguely realized that something didn't feel right, but couldn't quite put his finger on it. He couldn't help but ask again: "Hey, what are you doing? It looks like fun?"

  "Damn you, you piece of crap! Can't you see I'm busy sewing up this broken gut of yours? You stinky, long-winded thing, just like an old lady's foot wrapping cloth!"

  "Oh, thank you!" Xiang Xiao Si nodded dazedly and closed her eyes again, feeling at ease.

  Suddenly, his eyes widened and his body hair stood on end as he shouted: "What, my intestines?!"

  The old man in black grabbed a piece of intestine that had not been stuffed back into his belly and waved it in front of Xiao Si, saying: "Take a good look, is this your intestine? If not, I'll cut it off!"

  Xiao Si's whole body was chilled to the bone, and his head suddenly cleared up a lot. He was shocked and furious, saying: "You've torn my belly open!"

  "I'm your old man!" The black-clothed old Taoist glared and scolded, "The little trash in your belly was blown to smithereens, if you don't open it up and re-pack it, are you going to take it to the market to sell? Bah, it's stinking to death!"

  Xiao Si suddenly came to his senses and shouted, "Old mixed hair, you've cut open my belly and dug out my intestines, can I still live?"

  The old Taoist in black clothes was busy and drank: "You call again, I will open your skull and dig out the brain flower!"

  Xiao Si's face turned pale as a cicada in winter, her mouth tightly shut, glaring at the old Daoist in black.

  The old Taoist in black robes hummed, "What are you looking at? You're all talk and no action. What's so special about opening the skull? More than 400 years ago, Hua Tuo didn't think of doing this? You ignorant fool, you've seen too little and are easily surprised!"

  Xiao Si's anger shot up to the sky, and he blurted out: "Get lost, old man!"

  After scolding each other, both of them were stunned and felt that "niang xipi" versus "ge laizi" was a perfect match made in heaven.

  The old Taoist in black clothes laughed and said: "You kid have some skills, no wonder Xiao Chishan can't bear to let you leave."

  "Red Big Brother?" Xiao Si suddenly asked: "Is he the one who brought me here? Where is he?"

  The old man in black replied, "I told him to go to sleep, but this kid wouldn't listen and insisted on guarding the door. You dare to doubt my skills? Didn't I accidentally sew his intestines into his throat just a few days ago?"

  "Th-that... Dongdong, isn't that supposed to come from Brother Chi's mouth?"

  The old man in black robes said nonchalantly: "It's about the same, otherwise how would there be an idiom called 'spewing shit from one's mouth'?"

  Xiao Si shivered and shouted: "You'd better take a closer look before sewing. If you dare to put my intestines in the wrong place, I'll pluck out all your pubic hair!"

  The old man in black clothes chuckled and picked up a wine jar beside him, rinsed his hands with it, and then poured two mouthfuls into his mouth.

  Xiao Si suddenly smelled a strong wine aroma and asked: "What kind of wine is this? It looks pretty good."

  The old man in black smiled and said: "This is the 'Cloud Dew Immortal Wine' that I got from Penglai Palace last month, do you want to drink it?"

  Xiao Si's mouth was full of saliva, and he nodded. The old black-robed Taoist wasn't stingy either, saying: "Alright, let you try some."

  Just as Xiao Si was eagerly anticipating the taste of the heavenly wine made from over a hundred kinds of rare materials, which could only be brewed once every sixty years and yielded twelve jars of the finest liquor, he saw the old man in black robes pouring some into his own mouth before suddenly lowering his head and spitting it into Xiao Si's belly with a "plop"!

  Although Xiao Si's body was numb and he had no feeling, his heart couldn't help but feel a wave of nausea. He suddenly became furious and shouted: "You bastard, is this how you treat guests when inviting them to drink?"

  The old Taoist in black robes said with a smile: "Young man, I'll ask you, if this wine is drunk from your mouth, where will it flow to in the end?"

  Xiao Siyu's anger had yet to dissipate, and he snorted, "Nonsense, of course it's in my belly."

  The old Taoist in black clothes smiled and said: "Isn't this just right? Look at the method I used, it's direct and simple, and you don't even need to spend half a bit of energy."

  Xiao Si almost choked on his anger and rolled his eyes, saying: "Why don't you use this method to drink wine?"

  The old Taoist in black robes hummed and said, "My intestines haven't burst yet."

  Xiao Si's heart skipped a beat as he asked, "Will this wine be useful in treating my wound?"

  The old Taoist in black picked up the jar and poured wine into Xiao Si's belly, saying: "Just soak for an hour, don't move. Hmm, make it two hours instead. Last time I used 'Cloud Dew Immortal Brew' to brew a jar of Changbai Mountain 3000-year-old Snow Ginseng Wine, I waited for three years."

  "Alright, alright, it's almost done," Xiaosan said with a stifled tone, "My stomach isn't a wine vat."

  The old man in black glared and said: "Are you the number one divine doctor under heaven, or am I?"

  Xiao Si looked at the old man in black and suddenly said: "You are the true person of Evil Moon?"

  The old man in black clothes said proudly: "Nonsense, who else besides me dares to cut open a person's belly? That Sun guy's mother wouldn't even dare!"

  Xiao Si asked in surprise: "Who is this old lady with the surname Sun?"

  Xiaoyue Zhenren said impatiently, "How can you be so stupid? Of course it's Sun Simiao of the Zhongnan Sword Sect! Isn't he always calling himself 'Qianjin Fang'? Who else but a woman would call themselves 'Qianjin'?"

  Xiao Si's admiration for the true person of the evil moon was born, and he admired: "You are really talented." After a pause, he wondered: "Strange, why didn't I feel any pain at all?"

  Xia Yue Zhen Ren said: "I gave you Ma Fei San, and the medicine's effect will last for about three more hours."

  Xiao Si furrowed her brow and said with a bitter face: "Won't I be in great pain after those three hours?"

  "It depends on how obedient you are at that time."

  Xiao Si hastily said: "I've always been very well-behaved and I love listening to others."

  Xiaoyue Zhenren asked with a strange expression: "Isn't it that what Poor Dao said earlier wasn't human language?"

  Xiao Si has something to ask of others and honestly keeps his mouth shut.

  The evil monk saw that he didn't answer, so he started to fiddle with Xiao Si's waist again, holding it in his hand and pinching it while asking: "Now I'll come and test whether you're a real clever one or a fake clever one. First question: What is your relationship with Zhang Lihua?"

  Xiao Si's heart skipped a beat, and he glanced out of the corner of his eye at the red thing clenched in Xie Yue Zhen Ren's hand, afraid that he would suddenly squeeze it to pieces. He said: "Senior... do you know my mother?"

  He had already played the role of a good son in front of Yang Guang, and his acting skills were getting more and more mature.

  The evil moon true person slanted his eyes towards Xie Xiao Si and said: "You unscrupulous thing, you really are her son!"

  Xiao Si couldn't tell whether the true face of Evil Moon was joyful or angry, and even if he could, it wouldn't matter with this old madman's temperament. He nervously asked: "What's wrong?"

  "Absolutely not!" Xie Yue Zhen Ren said angrily: "Xiao Li practices the 'Tian Sha Gu Xing Shen Gong' of the Demon Gate Star Sect, and absolutely cannot ***, otherwise her cultivation will gradually dissipate, and she will forever lose the possibility of ascending to heaven. In other words, she can't do that kind of thing with any man, so how could she have given birth to you, this little rascal?"

  Xiao Si snorted: "How would I know? When she gave birth to me, she didn't even notify Father."

  Xiaoyue Zhenren was stunned for a moment, then suddenly shook his head and muttered to himself: "It's not right, it's not right. It's because she had dissipated all her powers that she ended up in such a miserable state. But how come I've never heard of her having children? If this were true, how could I, a poor Taoist, not know about it?"

  As he spoke, he suddenly raised his head and asked: "Quickly, who is your father?"

  "Old Fourth would say: 'If I had known who he was, I wouldn't be in such a miserable state now!'"

  Xiaoyue Zhenren nodded and said: "That makes sense, the man Xiaoli has set her eyes on shouldn't be an ordinary person!"

  Xiao Si stared in surprise: "Xiao Li... you and my mother are very familiar?"

  "Her old man is her own brother," said Xie Yue slowly, "you say familiar or not?"

  Xiao Si was shocked and suddenly burst into tears, shouting: "Uncle, I finally see a relative!"

  That shout made Xie Yue Zhenren's body covered in goosebumps, and he hastily gulped down half a tankard of wine before calming down slightly. He cursed angrily: "You damn thing, shut up! When did I ever acknowledge you as my nephew?"

  Xiao Si's face turned red with rage as he shouted: "You dare not to acknowledge me, you old fart? Be careful or my mother will find a hundred cheap sons-in-law for you in the underworld!"

  Xiaoyue Zhenren's face turned pale with rage, "How dare she?!" He thought to himself that his divine powers were vast and wide-reaching, but they couldn't penetrate the depths of the earth. Moreover, when Xiaomei was alive, she had always been fond of getting herself into a mess. Otherwise, he wouldn't have run off in a fit of anger to become a Taoist priest on Mount Kunlun.

  Xiao Si carefully observed his uncle's expression and said with a smile: "Uncle, I want to drink some wine - the kind you drink from your mouth."

  Xia Yue's face was tense, he picked up the wine jug and handed it to Xiao Si in front of him, then suddenly "bang" slammed it onto his forehead, shattering the jug and spilling liquid everywhere.

  Xiao Si's face was not painful, but he also knew that his forehead had been opened. He was furious and said: "Old miscellaneous hair, I must let my mother find King Yan to be your sister-in-law!"

  The evil monk sneered, patted his hand and said: "Open your mouth a bit wider, don't waste the good wine of the poor Tao. Yan Wang Ye? Hehe, who am I, would I be afraid of this kid?" After that, he picked up a dark, long, iron-like thing from his feet and said: "Come on, uncle will help you clear your intestines and push out the old to make way for the new."

  Xiao Si was so frightened that his soul flew away, and a mournful cry echoed through the Da Ming Temple: "You wicked black doctor, save me!"

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