Chapter Nine: The Name of the Cave Dweller is Not Defeated

  Zhang Peng angrily pushed open the door of his dormitory. Although Zhang Peng had just discovered that he had run to the wrong building, by the time he rushed upstairs, it was already past 9:30 and the building was empty. Zhang Peng hated the female animal on the first floor who gave him directions and couldn't even tell CS and SC apart. As for the little MM who scared him away, Zhang Peng didn't have much resentment, after all, he had taken advantage of someone else's kindness and touched someone else's chest.

  "Bang", at this moment, a big pillow hit Zhang Peng's face and fell to the ground. Wu Yingda pointed at Zhang Peng's newly installed computer and said, "You scoundrel, what kind of outrageous thing did you just do with my ID? Why was my ID blocked directly?"

  "Which ID?" Zhang Peng curiously asked.

  Wu Yingda said what else, Dream of Red Mansions.

  Zhang Peng picked up his pillow and said, "Damn it, what can I do? I just deleted a post brushed by an MM."

  Wu Yingda also said "my god", then said, "Zhang Peng you are a pig, don't you know that the ones who turn the crowd upside down are usually women, especially in a place like Zhongda where women are scarce. Women are like the White Bone Demon, with just one wave of their hand, there will be N number of men willing to die for them. Are they someone you can afford to mess with? You'd rather go to the principal's office and scold Principal Huang, if you want to seek death, don't drag me down with you! Give my ID back!"

  "It's just a spare ID," Zhang Peng said, "You've always said that brothers are like hands and feet, women are like clothes. For the sake of brotherhood, sacrificing one ID is nothing."

  Wu Yingda said, "Zhang Peng, didn't you ask for my QQ number yesterday? Why haven't you added me on QQ?"

  "What's up?" Zhang Peng thought Wu Yingda's words were very profound, and immediately asked again what Wu Yingda's QQ number was. After adding his QQ on his own computer, he took a look at his signature file and almost fainted. Wu Yingda's signature file read: "Brothers are like hands and feet, women are like clothes. For brothers, I'd stab two knives in my ribs; for girls, I'd stab two knives in my brothers' backs! Whoever wears my clothes, I'll chop off their hands and feet; whoever touches my hands and feet, I'll wear their clothes!!"

  "Ding ding" two sounds, Wu Yingda's QQ on the computer rang twice. Wu Yingda opened it and saw a friend request message, saying "Zhang Peng, you're quite perverted too! Your profile says you're a girl, but not only that, you also use a very coquettish female avatar." Zhang Peng curiously walked over to take a look, saying "I didn't!"

  "Could it be that you're not Little Ai?"

  "What's Xia Ai?" Zhang Peng said, "My QQ name is called 'Dong Fang Bu Bai'."

  "Can't defeat the bridal chamber? You're quite capable, aren't you?" Wu Yingda nodded and found another friend request message. After opening it, he saw that it was "Bridal Chamber Invincible". Wu Yingda then said, "Then who is this Little Ai?"

  "For brothers, two knives are inserted into the ribs, and for sisters, two knives are inserted into the brothers...". Ai Jing looked at Wu Yingda's signature file while saying to Guo XiXi who was holding an apple and smugly gnawing on it, "We shouldn't be doing this, should we?"

  "Sister~" Guo's expression was like an old society's procuress who lures good women into a fire pit, "I also don't want to let you seduce that beast, but if he comes to actively seduce you, then it's not our fault, is it?"

  Ai Jing said, "If every girl were like you, I reckon men would be extinct."

  "Of course. Anyone who offends me will only end up with one outcome, and that is to be gang-raped and killed by a group of women, let's see if he dares to flirt with beautiful girls in broad daylight again." Guo patted her own not-so-voluptuous chest, thinking that Ai Jing's appearance, biting her lip and smiling slyly, was really captivating. No wonder the guys who pursued Ai Jing lined up all the way from Zhongda to Tiananmen Square. Just as she was thinking this, "ding", the QQ icon of Meng Ru Shi, whom Ai Jing had added, started flashing, "You're really a girl?"

  "Haha, you've brought this upon yourself, you can't live like this." Guo quickly snatched away Ai Jing's laptop and hit him heavily, "You're really a handsome guy?"

  "Selling buns, freshly baked hot buns!" Wu Yingda was about to respond when he heard someone hawking buns in the corridor, shouting like Pan Jinlian calling out to Ximen Qing. Wu Yingda got excited and dragged Zhang Peng over, saying "You take care of this first, I'll go buy some buns to eat." Zhang Peng said, "What a wonderful thing! You're going to bed with her, but I'm the one who's been chatting her up!" Wu Yingda asked if he wanted to eat buns, and when Zhang Peng agreed, Wu Yingda said that in exchange for helping him pick up girls, he'd go buy buns. Then Wu Yingda took off running towards the stairs to buy buns, while Zhang Peng sat down and started chatting with someone named Xiaoi on Wu Yingda's QQ account, using his screen name "Dreaming of Goddess". "Of course I'm a handsome guy, so handsome it would shock the Communist Party Central Committee."

  Xiao Ai: "Then show me your coolest pose!"

  "Sleeping in the temple: 'No need, it's now.'"

  Xiao Ai: "Then strike your most flirtatious pose."

  "Look at yourself in the mirror, you are now a god."

  Xiao Ai: "Hehe, so you know why I added you on QQ?"

  "It's easy, I'm handsome."

  "Shuai ni ge tou a." Guo XiXi gritted her teeth and said something shameless, but of course she wouldn't actually say that. Guo XiXi retorted: "Wrong! It's because I wanted to add someone else, but I accidentally filled in the wrong number and added you instead."

  "That means there is a will of heaven in the dark." Zhang Peng shamelessly said this sentence, then opened "Little Ai"'s QQ space and took a look. Except for a photo of a girl with brown curly long hair from behind, there was only one poem:

  "The most distant distance in the world,

  is not life and death,

  but when I stand in front of you,

  you don't know I love you.

  The most distant distance in the world,

  is not when I stand in front of you,

  you don't know I love you,

  but it's that you clearly know I love you,

  yet put me in your heart without a care.

  The most distant distance in the world,

  is not that you clearly know I love you,

  yet put me in your heart without a care,

  but it's that people who love each other can't be together.

  The most distant distance in the world,

  is not that people who love each other can't be together.

  But it's using one's indifference to hurt the person who loves you,

  digging an unbridgeable ditch."

  After watching Zhang Peng, she felt that this was a woman who had been abandoned by love and had an unrequited love. According to Zhang Peng's experience, in order to pick up this kind of girl, he must pretend to be a lovesick man who has also been through the ups and downs of life, so as to resonate with her.

  Then Zhang Peng immediately pretended to be very down and said, "Actually, I just broke up with someone."

  At that time, Zhang Peng didn't think at all that the person sitting in front of QQ was not a woman who had been abandoned by love, but a pair of charming Shanghai girls.