Chapter 1 The Second Son of the Rongguo Household

  "Have you heard? The second young master stole something from the old master and was beaten until he became an idiot."

  "It wasn't me, it was the second young master who stole something from the old master and got caught. The old master was so angry that he beat up the second young master, but unfortunately, they were seen by the mistress. Then the old master got beaten up by the mistress, whose martial arts skills are too high. Her palm wind accidentally knocked over the screen, which crushed and stunned Young Master Yi'ai."

  "Have you heard? Fang Jia Er Shao was beaten into a fool by the number one jealous woman in our dynasty." Huang Guo Shu Waterfall sweat...

  "This is a terrible trend that cannot be allowed to continue, even the venom of a tiger would not harm its own cub, Fang's family... originally Fang's second young master was foolish, now... alas..." Niagara Falls sweat...

  In the Tang Dynasty, the gossip spread like wildfire throughout Chang'an City about the foolish things that the Second Young Master of the Fang family did, and even I, hiding in the inner courtyard of the Fang residence to recover from my injuries, had heard rumors.

  Sitting at the door, wearing a silk shirt, revealing explosive chest muscles and arms, maintaining a thinker's posture, thinking. This is what I've been doing since I woke up last night. I actually crossed over... Ah, damn it, the bun-selling Buddha, damn you, GJ058XX, damn the bread car, damn SAIC-GM-Wuling, damn the three-forked road without traffic lights, and that damn expired computer newspaper.

  Fang Jun, my current name. The problem is that I'm just a versatile teacher in a private school with insufficient faculty resources. Although history wasn't my strong suit when I was in school, every new era's angry youth will remember the prosperous era of the early Tang Dynasty when various countries came to pay tribute. So, I still know some things about the history of the early Tang Dynasty, especially those powerful and fierce female warriors, including Empress Wu Zetian, Empress Yang, and another one who is my current mother, Lady Lu Fang...

  At least I know that the second legitimate son of Fang Xuanling's family, who is now me, Fang Jun, only grew taller and not smarter, will be sixteen years old in about two months. However, my height has already exceeded what it was when I was eighteen, at least 1.75 meters, and as for weight... looking at my chest muscles, hmm, at least 70 kilograms. My body is solid, but the problem also arises.

  Within a year or two, I will be granted marriage by the great Emperor Taizong of Tang, and then, one of the strongest women in history, the most powerful representative of extramarital affairs, known to later generations as the great pioneer of free love, Princess Gaoyang, will appear before me with an aura of mighty royalty, holding a whip, riding on a chariot, with a fierce killing intent... and then... terrible things will happen. I will be forced to wear a green hat by Princess Gaoyang, and because of my premature death, he won't have any trouble, but I will be dragged to the execution ground to play with minced meat.

  "What the... Do I deserve to be played like this? If you want to play me, at least give me a reason first!" He spat on the ground in front of him, venting his anger with Chow Yun-fat's famous line.

  "Master... Master, you're ill again?" The words had barely left my lips when I heard the cry of surprise from behind me. It was her again... This headache, this little girl, was the first person I saw when I woke up that day, wearing traditional clothes and looking like a young Lori. According to herself, she was a maid dedicated to serving me, named Green Butterfly, 14 and a half years old. The name sounded rustic at first, but it had a nice ring to it after some thought.

  "I'm fine, I was just reviewing the plot of a movie..." I showed my goodwill by revealing my front teeth to Xiao Yatou.

  "Big... big pieces?" The little girl's eyes sparkled with starlight.

  "Uh-huh, it's like... I gestured a rectangular shape with my hand: "Inside a frame, there are many people acting inside..."

  "Master... master, don't speak, Xiaodie will go call the mistress..." The starlight in the little maid's eyes is trending towards tears.

  This fourteen-year-old little girl, Green Butterfly, is like a piece of sticky plaster, no, more like my shadow. Except for the toilet, at any time and place, as long as I open my eyes, I can see this little girl's surprisingly beautiful big eyes. As soon as I do anything that goes against the Tang Dynasty's elegance and refinement, this little girl immediately uses her speaking eyes to accuse me, it's too bad...

  That little girl's physique makes it impossible for me as a teacher to make any moves that go against the spirit of modern education. I don't hit beautiful women, this is my rule, and even more so, I won't hit beautiful little girls, this is my principle. Of course... if she looks too pitiful in front of the audience, I'm afraid I'll lose control and take action, this belongs to my instincts.

  "Nothing's wrong with me," I glared at this little girl with wide eyes.

  The little green butterfly trembled and stretched out a beautiful, crystal-like hand towards me. I nodded: "Yes, this is your finger, the fingernail is very pretty."

  The little green butterfly quickly withdrew the white as water scallion's fingers into her sleeve, and her small face turned crimson: "I was thinking of seeing if young master is still burning..."

  I almost choked, am I on fire? Never mind: "...Young master, I'm not on fire... Little Green Butterfly sister, would you please help me pour a glass of water, make sure it's cool." It's still safer to get her out of the way.

  "The little butterfly dare not be so presumptuous, Master, please don't speak to me like that, if"

  "If the mistress or housekeeper saw it, I'd be beaten to death by Green Butterfly..." The little maid in a pink long dress had beautiful big eyes that were teary. Her eyes were timid and fearful...

  "Little girl, go and pour water for the young master, remember to make it cold, hurry up!" I said with a bad attitude, and also swung my arm like Schwarzenegger to add persuasive power.

  "Yes, Green Butterfly obeys..." The little girl immediately walked towards the tea table in the house with small steps, her eyebrows filled with joyful intention. How scary... it seems my saliva is more lethal than my arm? Is the little girl a masochist? Cold sweat... I'm not a sadist or a lolicon, but... beautiful, pure, gentle and innocent Little Ring's power to kill evil uncles is greater than those little girls in the future who smoke, drink and dye their hair in seven colors. Unconsciously nodding in agreement with my thoughts, suddenly feeling ashamed, I'm indeed very evil too...

  "Jun Er... Jun Er, it's time to take your medicine..." The loving mistress of the Fang household, Madame Lu, walked towards me with a warm smile, surrounded by her servants. A maid beside her held a steaming bowl of medicine, and the overly sweet greeting made my skin crawl. Behind her followed Fang Shen, the steward of the Fang household, a man in his fifties with a lean build, wearing a crisp and clean long shirt that exuded an aura of authority, one that even a university president couldn't match. It was no wonder that he came from a family of renowned officials during the Tang dynasty, for even their steward carried himself with more gravitas than those provincial officials often seen on TV.

  "Have you seen your mother... have you seen the house..." I stood up, with both hands clasped together, not knowing whether the etiquette and greetings in TV dramas are consistent with those of the Tang Dynasty. Mother, this word is a bit unfamiliar... before, I always called her mom at home.

  "Call Uncle Fang..." Lu seemed to have seen my hesitation. "Oh... I've met Uncle Fang."

  "Overwhelmed by old age... Second Master, please don't address me like that. Directly calling me Housekeeper is already a great honor for an old man like me..." Fang Shen's expression was quite strange, seeming to be both surprised and sighing at the same time.

  "Fang Shen, don't say such things. Although you are the housekeeper, you are also my husband's distant cousin. Jun'er can call you Uncle Fang and you should be worthy of it..." Lu Shi had a very elegant demeanor, and she lightly waved her hand.

  "Yes... madam." Fang Shen dared not be slow in responding to Lu's words, and replied with a humble expression.

  "Sit down quickly, Jun Er, your body is weak. The doctor said you should rest more... You're better today, do you remember your mother?" Lu Shi handed the medicine to the maid beside her and lifted my face with both hands to examine it carefully.

  "No... the kid still hasn't remembered, but I recall that I grew up here..." Even if I recover my memories, I'd rather die than say it. Because, at least I have to keep a low profile, can't let this family throw me out onto the streets. This is the Tang Dynasty, with my expertise in computer hacking, I wouldn't be able to find food in this era, unless I first create a vacuum tube computer and build the internet in the Tang Dynasty."

  "Poor child..." Lu's tears began to flow again. "The old man hits people without knowing the severity, didn't you just pawn the jade Ruyi bestowed by His Majesty to exchange for wine? It wasn't smashed, it can still be redeemed..."

  "Huh? ... This young master is not only a future green hat party, but also a powerful and arrogant young master, too awesome! The things Li Shimin gave to his father were even taken to the pawnshop to exchange for wine, I heard gossip at that time and thought it was just rumors..."

  "Uncomfortable again? Jun'er... how come you're sweating so much?" Lu Shi pulled out a silk handkerchief from her bosom and wiped the cold sweat off my forehead.

  "I didn't... it's just that I've forgotten about this, how strange..." I forced a smile on my face. A national treasure given by the leader of the country, and I'm thinking of pawning it for some wine... I'd rather slap myself twice. My hand was raised, but forget it, it hurts too much now."

  "It's all your father's fault, Jun'er. Don't be afraid, with me as your mother, he dares to touch you again and I'll fight him to the death. I gave birth to you three little brats, if one of you were missing, I wouldn't live...". The so-called number one jealous woman of the Tang Dynasty, Lu Shi, wife of Fang Xuanling, my old mom in front of me is indeed not to be trifled with.

  "It's true, in the past my son was also very disobedient, his father was right to hit him... This is the truth, if I had encountered such an unfilial child, being beaten would be getting off lightly. If I had a child like that, I'm afraid even cutting flesh and wrapping it into dumplings to eat wouldn't satisfy my anger."

  "Since your mother is here, what are you afraid of? Alright, hurry up and drink the medicine. This is a prescription that I asked your father to get from a good doctor. Come on, open your mouth..." Lu Shi took the medicine bowl from the maid's hand and handed it to my lips, looking like she was going to feed me the medicine again.

  "Mother, let me do it myself, I can move now..." My eyes felt a little hot, this feeling has not been had for many years. Shouting "mother" still feels a bit... that is, after all, the Lu in front of me is not my own mother from thousands of years later, but the doting love in her eyes towards me, no, towards Fang Yu, even makes me feel a little jealous of this young master whose body I have occupied. It seems that the birth of this young master must be due to having an elder who loves him too much.