Chapter Sixteen: The Feces and Urine Incident

  So under such circumstances, the first exercise led by Xiao Tianjian began.

  What these guys never expected was that Xiao Tianjian's so-called training was actually so dull and monotonous. Xiao Tianjian didn't let them do anything else, the first step wasn't teaching them how to use knives and guns against enemies, but instead making them repeatedly learn how to stand in formation.

  What a straight line, at ease, assembly formation, right face, forward march, just to let them form a straight horizontal team, Xiao Tianjian spent two days, Xiao Tianjian also carved a bamboo whistle with a knife, constantly letting these guys disperse and then blowing the whistle to assemble, tossing these guys over, each running like a dog chasing a rabbit.

  But in Xiao Tianjian's view, it was such a simple thing that these people couldn't do well. Every time they dispersed, this group of guys would forget where they should stand, and they would squeeze together in a chaotic mess. Xiao Tianjian had to shout at the top of his lungs for half a day before he could find his own position, and form a crooked and twisted horizontal row. Not to mention "right face", these guys didn't even have a sense of left or right. When someone shouted "right face", everyone's heads would turn around randomly, in a chaotic mess.

  Xiao Tianjian was so angry that he scolded them loudly, and finally couldn't help but use his feet to kick and slap them with his palms, before they finally understood how to line up in formation.

  Fortunately, these people are still honest. Although they were scolded and beaten, they did not dare to show their dissatisfaction. They followed Xiao Tianjian's requirements in a dispirited manner, one by one. After two days, when it was time to assemble, they could finally form a horizontal team quickly.

  But on the third day, before dawn, Xiao Tianjian hastily pulled these people out of the cave, and with a loud order, he led them to line up and sprint down the valley. These guys ran so hard that they were panting, their waists were sore, and they were urinating uncontrollably until someone fell to the ground and couldn't get up again, only then did they slow down and walk back in formation.

  A group of people in their hearts were scolding Xiao Tianjian, usually at this time they would still be playing chess with Zhou Gong, but now they were pulled out before dawn and ran like a donkey. However, Xiao Tianjian's prestige was already heavy, although these people had a lot of complaints in their stomachs, for the sake of eating, they still didn't dare to disobey. Their fear of those above them had already penetrated into their bones. This was Xiao Tianjian's domain, and they could only listen to his orders. No one thought about causing any trouble, although they were trained by Xiao Tianjian like dogs, but they could only secretly complain in their hearts, no one dared to speak out. A group of people followed Xiao Tianjian back to the cave entrance with their tails between their legs.

  At the sound of a command, this group of people immediately formed a horizontal team. Xiao Tianjian walked back and forth in front of them with his face blackened, hands behind his back, and slightly panting. He kept looking at their faces, only to see that they were all panting like broken bellows, standing there swaying from side to side, following his command to look left and adjust the horizontal team.

  "Who the hell pulled it at the entrance last night, and who the hell urinated inside?!" Xiao Tianjian finally stopped in front of Zhao Erdui, his throat bursting with rage, spitting stars that splattered all over Zhao's face.

  Everyone finally understood why they were messed with by Xiao Tianjian this morning, but nobody took it seriously because at that time, who wasn't solving their shit and piss on the spot? Was it worth making a big deal out of such a small matter? However, everyone saw that the leaders were very unhappy about this incident, and the consequences would be severe. Therefore, everyone kept silent, and no one came forward to admit that they did it, even Tie Tou, who had always been obedient to Xiao Tianjian, remained silent.

  Xiao Tianjian sneered and said in a strange voice, "Oh! None of you dare to admit it! You all have enough integrity, no one comes out to report! Good! This is not bad at all! So, everyone doesn't need to eat breakfast from now on! Until someone stands up and admits it, otherwise, none of you will be allowed to eat! Jun Fu Zi!"

  As soon as Xiao Tianjian let out a loud shout, Jing Fuzi immediately ran over with his hands clasped together and his waist bent, made an unstandard salute, and said loudly: "Present!"

  Xiao Tianjian was very satisfied with Jiang Fuzi's answer and asked loudly: "Is the rice cooked?"

  "Done, boss!" replied Jing Fu Zi loudly. This morning he wasn't taken out for a wild run by Xiao Tian Jian, so he stayed in the cave to cook. The breakfast was already ready. Since they started training two days ago, Xiao Tian Jian had increased their food supply to ensure everyone's physical strength. Each person got three meals a day, with two large pancakes and some salted vegetables per meal. Although this seemed simple and bitter compared to later generations, at this time, it felt like a holiday to them, reducing the feeling of hardship. After all, being able to get back so much food was largely thanks to Xiao Tian Jian's efforts, which everyone acknowledged.

  "Let them stand there! We're going to eat! You, attention, maintain military posture, whoever moves, I'll break his leg and starve him for three days! Until someone admits defeat!" Xiao Tianjian loudly ordered, then turned around and followed Jing Fuzi to an empty space outside the cave, washed his hands, sat down on a rock, picked up a large bowl of thick porridge that Jing Fuzi had brought over, which wouldn't even fall with chopsticks inserted, and began eating with big mouthfuls, staring intently at those standing at attention.

  The remaining people maintained their standing posture, with their legs tightly closed, not daring to relax. Since they followed Xiao Tianjian, they had become accustomed to his style of saying one and two, making them stand at attention. No one dared to slack off and lower their legs, or else Xiao Tianjian's big foot would kick them from behind, which was really unbearable.

  Everyone's stomach was growling loudly, they were dragged out for a frantic run of over ten miles in the morning, many people had already drummed up their hunger, and now they stood at attention with empty stomachs, everyone felt dizzy, their legs aching as if filled with lead.

  "My goodness! Isn't it just a fart? Is it worth making such a fuss about?" Zhao Erdui muttered under his breath, but his body remained tense, afraid of being overheard by Xiao Tianjian in the distance.

  "Who the hell is pulling at the entrance, if not careful, will be trampled by the palm of the hand, what a damn pull, no guts to admit it, let everyone suffer together! Damn it, really has no balls!" Someone in the team muttered and cursed in a low voice.

  Zhao the Second Donkey's face twitched a few times, choked to be bright red, and then this person muttered: "It was me who pulled it, but it wasn't me who peed in the hole! And not just me alone, whoever the hell did it, has the guts to admit it with me!"

  The big cow in the team trembled slightly, choked and turned red in the face, and said in a low voice: "Sorry everyone, it was me who farted! I admit it!"

  Xiao Tianjian finished eating and threw the bowl to Jing Fuzi to wash, walked with his hands behind his back to the group of people, still scanning everyone's face with a stern expression. Before he could speak, Zhao Erdu stood up and loudly said: "The one who made a mess in the latrine is Xiao's!"

  "Who broke the plate? Last night it was a small pee in the hole! Please punish whoever is responsible!" Big Cow also quickly stood up.

  Others finally let out a long sigh of relief, some people's stomachs still made a few discontented noises. Xiao Tianjian looked at everyone and scolded Zhao Erdui and Da Niu: "I told you when I came here that if you shit or pee, roll back to the original point! You two are still violating the rules, now punish you to use your hands to clean up your traces for me, and go 50 steps away from the cave to build a toilet for me! The requirement is to complete it immediately!

  Others are also considered to be of a kind, covering up for the two of them. This is something I won't blame you for, but remember, covering up for your brothers is for outsiders, and insiders must not make mistakes again. If someone knows about it and doesn't report it, I will not forgive lightly! Each person do 50 push-ups, finish and then eat, if not finished, don't even think about eating!

  From now on, everyone must go to the toilet at a fixed point for my convenience. Anyone who urinates or defecates randomly will be beaten with ten military sticks. Before meals, you must wash your hands first, and there is a stream below. From today on, everyone must wash their feet every day and take a bath once every five days! Also, keep your clothes clean, and when you have nothing to do, wash them for me! Those who disobey will be punished with military sticks!

  "Tiě tóu, chī fàn wán gěi wǒ zuò yī gēn jūn bàng qù! Yǐ hòu yǒu rén fàn cuò ái jūn bàng, nǐ lái shī xíng! Dōu jì zhù méi yǒu?"

  Translation: "Iron Head, after dinner, make me a military stick! From now on, if someone makes a mistake and gets beaten with the stick, you'll be the one to administer the punishment! Does everyone remember that?"

  Everyone shouted loudly at once: "Remember, Big Brother!"

  But Xiao Tianjian didn't immediately let them disperse, instead he continued to say: "Everything I ask you to do has a reason! Don't think that I'm making a big deal out of nothing or exaggerating! Let me tell you, I'm actually saving your lives!

  This year's disaster is either a natural calamity or an epidemic. Once there is an outbreak of disease, we are currently short of doctors and medicine, and can only wait for death!

  "Do you know how the plague comes? It's because many of your mothers don't know cleanliness, shitting and pissing everywhere, even lice on their bodies can spread the plague! And what about your filthy paws? Don't you know that disease enters through the mouth? Letting you wash your feet frequently is also to prevent foot odor, if your feet are bad, you won't be able to escape even when running for your life! If you don't want to die quickly, do as I say, otherwise get out of here and stop harming others! Disperse! Iron Head will supervise everyone doing push-ups on the ground! Only after finishing can you eat!"

  It wasn't until now that everyone understood why Xiao Tianjian attached so much importance to this matter and set so many rules. It turned out that it was all for their own good. Although they felt that Xiao Tianjian was still making a big fuss over nothing, they had been living like this since birth. But after careful consideration, they also found some reason in his words. In order to eat, they could only follow Xiao Tianjian's requirements!

  Except for Zhao Erdui and Da Niu, everyone else immediately got down on the ground, starting to do push-ups with a grunt. They had seen Xiao Tianjian do this move many times before, and according to him, it was an effective way to exercise one's arm strength. However, having just finished running cross-country in the morning, doing fifty push-ups now was really too much for them to handle. One by one, they collapsed onto the ground, panting like cows. Meanwhile, Zhao Erdui and Da Niu returned to the cave entrance, using their hands to clear away the traces they had left behind. Both of them felt nauseous to death, and it took a long time washing their hands before they started to feel somewhat comfortable again. Then, not daring to eat, they went to find something to dig a latrine in the place Xiao Tianjian had specified, chopping down tree branches to start building a toilet. This task wasn't too difficult for them, and after more than an hour, a decent-looking toilet was built.

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