Chapter 3: The Upper Chamber Does Not Use Paper

  After returning to their own courtyard, Madame Lu pressed down on Fang Xuanling's shoulders, making him sit on a low stool. Fang Xuanling was not young anymore, and his old waist couldn't take the strain of sitting on this low stool. However, since it was his wife who made him sit there, Fang Xuanling could only say with a hint of grievance: "Madame, you can just speak directly, why make such a fuss?"

  "What's wrong, old thing? You can't take it anymore? But when I was beating Jun'er before, I didn't see you shouting in pain. Just bear with it for a while, I want to tell you something. I plan to let Linglong follow Jun'er, Jun'er is running around all day, I'm really worried, having someone watching him makes me feel more at ease." Lu Shi said with some concern.

  "Yes, madam, you arrange this matter, Linglong is a clever and knowledgeable girl, I believe with her around, Jun'er will be much more well-behaved. However, madam, you must keep a close eye on him, don't let Jun'er get out of hand, Linglong is too beautiful after all." Fang Xuanling also thought that having someone to watch over was better, if he left Fang Jun alone to cause trouble, who knows what would happen next time.

  "Alright, you're just worried about Jun'er, aren't you? Is he really that untrustworthy?" Lu Shi poked Fang Xuanling's forehead. Although she was also a bit concerned, she knew her own son well enough - with his mischievous nature, who knows what kind of trouble he'd get into? After thinking for a moment, Lu Shi decided it would be better to instruct Linglong instead, so she called out towards the outside: "Fang De, go and call Linglong over!"

  "Yes, ma'am, wait a moment, I'll go call Linglong right away!"

  Before long, Linglong walked in and saw a beautiful young woman standing inside. Her eyebrows were like distant hills, her lips thin, her skin as white as jade, and she was about sixteen or seventeen years old, just at the age when girls are most lovely. Dressed in pink silk, she was a truly elegant beauty.

  "Madam, are you looking for Lianrong for something?" Lianrong curtsied to Lu Shi, a faint smile on her face.

  Lu said with a smile, holding Linglong's hand: "Alright, girl, no need to be so formal. I plan to have you follow the second young master from now on. What do you think?"

  Linglong knew that the lady could ask for her own opinion was already very good, and she, a little maid, had no right to choose her own future. So Linglong nodded wisely, "Madam, being able to serve the second young master is Linglong's blessing!"

  "Girl, I asked you to follow the second young master, but it's not for you to serve him. I want you to help me keep an eye on him. You also know what kind of person he is - always getting into trouble every three days. Luckily, nothing big happened this time. So, I want you to take care of him for me and discipline him if necessary. If he dares not listen to you, come tell me and I'll deal with that little brat."

  Madam Lu warmly held Linglong's hand, treating her like her own daughter. Over the years, Linglong had grown more and more elegant, and she was now at a marriageable age. Madam Lu had put in a lot of thought for Linglong's marriage, but Linglong refused to marry anyone, preferring to remain a maid in the Fang household forever.

  Madam Lu knew that Linglong was showing gratitude - a girl raised from a young age with just one meal had turned out so excellent. Madam Lu was both worried and happy: worried about Linglong's marriage prospects, but delighted by the girl's exceptional talents in music, chess, literature, and painting. She hoped her own son could learn from Linglong's good qualities and stop being such a troublemaker.

  "What? Madam, you want me to take care of Second Young Master, will he listen to me?" Linglong asked this with little confidence. With Second Young Master's notorious temper, anything could happen. Although Second Young Master treated his servants very well, this couldn't change Linglong's bad impression of him.

  Lü also understood that his little rascal's reputation was not good, and he said awkwardly, "Linglong, don't worry, I'll call that kid over in a moment, I'll tell him about this matter, if he dares to disobey you again, you just tell me, see if I won't break his legs."

  Although Mrs. Lu's words were loud and clear, Linglong didn't think so in her heart. Who doesn't know that the lady is famous for being overprotective of her son? If anyone dares to touch Second Young Master's hair, she would dare to fight with them to the death. Would such a mother break her own son's leg? However, Linglong still nodded, "Yes, ma'am, I'll go to Second Young Master's courtyard right now." After saying this, Linglong also felt some sympathy for Second Young Master in her heart. The second young master of the Fang family, and yet there isn't even a single servant attending to him in his courtyard.

  Fang Yi'ai was staring at the grass paper in his hand, feeling a pang of distress. He had to use it for wiping after going to the outhouse, but he couldn't find any other paper in the house except these few sheets of grass paper. The quality of this grass paper wasn't even as good as the paper used for burning at funerals, and using it would be like using a knife. Fang Yi'ai was having a cruel mental struggle for his own buttocks. Before he made up his mind, Fang De walked in with a smile and said, "Second Master, Madam is calling you over, seems to have something important."

  Fang Yi'ai was at a loss for words after hearing this, and it would be better to hurt his buttocks than to pull down his pants. So Fang Yi'ai hastily said: "De Shu, wait a moment, I'll go to the toilet and then follow you." After finishing speaking, Fang Yi'ai waved the few broken papers in his hand and ran out excitedly. Seeing Fang Yi'ai running into the toilet, Fang De thought: "This second young master, he was constipated when he went to the toilet last time, why did he bring paper into the toilet this time? Is the second young master going to use paper to wipe his buttocks?" Thinking of this, Fang De's cold sweat came out. If the old master knew about it, wouldn't he be beaten to death by the second young master?

  Fang Yi Ai quickly walked out of the outhouse, feeling refreshed and revitalized. Of course, those few pieces of paper were gone too. Fang De Bang asked with a puzzled expression, "Second Young Master, where did those papers go?"

  "Uncle De, of course it's for wiping your butt, why are you asking?" Fang Yi'ai replied matter-of-factly. Upon hearing Fang Yi'ai's words, Fang De was taken aback, and indeed the mighty Second Young Master had blown up again. Fang De hastily whispered, "Second Young Master, those papers were given to you by Old Master to practice writing with, not for use in the toilet."

  "Uncle De, can't those papers be used to wipe one's butt? Then what should I use when I go to the outhouse?" Fang Yi'ai was speechless. Those tattered papers were already making him feel a bit awkward, and yet Fang De said they couldn't be wasted. Fang Yi'ai really couldn't think of what else to use to solve the problem in the outhouse. Should he use dirt clods?

  Fang De felt a bit neurotic, but thinking that the Second Master was now suffering from amnesia made him feel better. He took out something from the outhouse and introduced it seriously: "Second Master, this is called a 'ce shuai', used for wiping after using the toilet." Fang Yi Ai looked at the thing suspiciously, took it over, examined it carefully, and suddenly his face turned black. This was just a bamboo strip! Using this to wipe one's butt would surely leave several scars, and most importantly, could this thing even clean properly? But thinking that he was now in the Tang Dynasty, Fang Yi Ai felt like he had become an idiot. He thought to himself that as a modern person, using a bamboo strip to wipe his butt was unbearable, or else his butt would be doomed.

  Following Fang De, they arrived at their father's courtyard and entered the house. Fang Yuai saw Lu Shi sitting on the bed, with a 16 or 17-year-old beautiful girl standing beside her, while his own father was sitting gloomily on a low stool. Fang Yuai looked at the small stool, which was so short that it wasn't even comfortable to sit on, and kindly helped Fang Xuanling up, with a strange expression on his face. "Father, you're not young anymore, why don't you take care of yourself? Doesn't your waist hurt from sitting on this small stool?"

  The display of filial love by Fang Xuanling delighted Fang Xuanling greatly. If he had a son, Lu would no longer be able to torment Fang Xuanling, "Old thing, what are you still standing for? Sit on the bed!"

  Fang Xuanling saw that Lu didn't object, so he supported his old waist and sat down on the bed. He also gave Fang Yiai a "I'm watching you" look. Fang Yiai was now dizzy - what's going on here?

  "Jun Er, this is Ling Long. From now on, she'll be following you. Remember to listen to her words from now on. If you dare to misbehave again, be careful or your father will deal with you." Lu Shi said with a smile, pulling Ling Long along, as Fang Yi Ai looked at Ling Long with wide eyes, thinking that such a beautiful woman would be his maid in the future.

  Fang Yi Ai felt both happy and depressed. He was happy to have a beautiful maid, but he was also worried because this maid was responsible for supervising him. In other words, Ling Long was Lu Shi's spokesperson. It seemed that his life wouldn't be easy from now on.

  "Mother, look at what you're saying. I've already decided to change my ways and won't do those foolish things again." Fang Yiai hoped that Lu Shi could take back her words, for compared to beauty, freedom was more important. However, Lu Shi's will was not to be defied, in the Fang household, Lu Shi's words were absolute authority, even the Prime Minister of the Tang Dynasty had to submit.

  Fang Yiai finally led Linglong back to his own Xikuan Courtyard, and after entering the house, Fang Yiai originally wanted Linglong to sit down first, but after searching around, he couldn't find a single chair. Fang Yiai scratched his head and asked Linglong, who was still standing: "Linglong, how come there isn't even a single chair in my room? What's going on here?"

  Linglong was baffled, what chair? Linglong couldn't understand this Second Young Master at all. Even the usually knowledgeable and talented Linglong was stumped by this question, so she furrowed her own elegant eyebrows and asked: "Second Young Master, what is a chair?"

  This Fang Yi Ai almost fainted, what is going on here? Is it that the Tang Dynasty is so backward that they don't even have chairs? Fang Yi Ai was anxious and pacing back and forth in the room. The toilet in this Tang Dynasty was already a headache, and now there's no chair either. Now he understood why his father was so uncomfortable earlier - it wasn't that he wanted to sit on the love seat, but rather there was nothing else to sit on. After thinking carefully, Fang Yi Ai asked uncertainly: "Linglong, is a chair something that people can sit on, about three feet high? Don't you have one?"

  "Second Master, do you have this thing? I've been at the Fang residence for so long and haven't seen a chair yet, did you make a mistake?" Linglong furrowed her brow in puzzlement. This Second Master was really strange, even if he had lost his memory, it shouldn't be forgotten to such an extent that he didn't know what ordinary furniture looked like. After hearing Linglong's words, Fang Yiai felt hopeless and could only wave his hand at Linglong, "Linglong, you can sit on the bed for now!"

  "Huh? Second Master, you want me to sit on the bed? The mistress has told you not to come in here!" Ling's pale face turned red and even her tone of voice was somewhat angry. Ling felt depressed, this second master was too impatient, daring to say such things in broad daylight. Fang Yu'ai scratched his head for a long time before realizing that Ling had misunderstood him. Fang Yu'ai opened his eyes wide and smiled wryly: "Ling, what are you thinking? I just thought you were tired from standing, so I told you to sit on the bed. Where did your mind go? Ling, do I really not seem like a good person?"

  Linglong's eyes sparkled as she looked at the second young master, who was indeed robust and healthy in appearance, with a dignified expression on his face. He didn't seem like a bad person at all. After listening to his explanation, Linglong covered her mouth and giggled: "Second Young Master, I apologize for my mistake. But how can a lowly servant like me sit down?"

  "Alright, Linglong, in my western-style house, there aren't many rules. When you're tired, rest; when you're hungry, eat; when you're thirsty, drink water. You can do whatever you want. I'm a healthy person, I don't need you to take care of me. Hurry up and sit down, I still have things to ask you!" After finishing speaking, Fang Yilai didn't pay attention to Linglong's reaction, directly pressing the beauty onto the bed. Seeing Second Young Master treating her like this, Linglong felt a sweet feeling in her heart. Maybe serving Second Young Master wouldn't be bad after all.

  "Linglong, I'm asking you, are you sure you haven't seen the chair?" Fang Yiai casually sat on the table, tapping his legs and asked.

  "Second Master, I can tell you very clearly that not only is there no such chair in the Fang Mansion, but also it's impossible to find one in the entire Tang Dynasty." Linglong said with certainty, although she didn't understand why Second Master was asking these questions.

  Fang Yi Ai patted her palms together and it seemed like she had to take matters into her own hands again. Without a chair, she could only make one herself. First things first, she needed to make a recliner for her father. Looking at her father sitting on a low stool made Fang Yi Ai feel uncomfortable in her heart. After some thought, she pulled Ling Long's small hand and headed out, with Ling Long being led by the Second Young Master, feeling an unusual sensation, her face flushed like a big apple, making people want to rush over and take a bite. However, at this moment, Fang Yi Ai was preoccupied with thoughts of chairs and didn't notice Ling Long's expression. Pulling Ling Long along, they found Fang De outside the courtyard, and Fang Yi Ai hastily said: "Uncle De, I need your help with something, can you get me some large bamboo slices and small bamboo slices? Also, can you bring over some carpentry tools?"

  Fang De was confused for a moment, what did this strange Second Master want to do again? But he still nodded in agreement.