Chapter 46: The Imperial Envoy Also Has to Pay Up

  I said 'I'm drunk, I'm happy' old brother, you're too black-hearted, updating so late at night and it's 2000 words, you're also an old friend, knowing my updates are slow. Now with a sincere heart wanting to kill me, don't you feel sorry for your usual support? Gnashing my teeth, I'll release all my stored drafts, please don't do this again in the future, or someone will die!!

  "Get out of the way, blocking the official's path is a capital offense!" A road-opening yamen runner came up swinging his whip to disperse this group of 'strongmen', moving aside the tree branches that were obstructing the road. He thought they were just a bunch of ignorant kids causing trouble and considered it polite not to use his whip on them.

  "Hmph! You dare to move the things of this great king? Not even the imperial envoy can pass through here without putting down money!" A boy with a bamboo hat on his head and a dagger at his waist swaggered out of the woods, looking like a bandit leader.

  "Hey, little rabbit..." The bailiff was amused and opened his mouth to scold, but just as he had scolded halfway, his mouth was covered by the class leader.

  "Wo wo...... Bān tóu nǐ gàn má?" The bailiff struggled free from his grasp and asked in puzzlement.

  "You fool, have you forgotten about the young master of the Zhifu government?" The squad leader glared at him and whispered, and the yamen immediately shut up. The "lesson" they had received that day was too profound, and now they were on the turf of that little guy again, who might be hiding among these people. The yamen's eyes began to search for their target like a radar.

  "Hey, kid, I've got a string of copper coins here. You guys buy some sugar to eat and let us pass!" The squad leader pulled out the string of money from his pocket, about 50 or 60 cents, and handed it over to the "bandit chief" in front.

  "What's the hurry? Don't waste my time, you few go ahead!" The bandit leader tossed the copper coins in his hand impatiently and waved it, two small henchmen immediately came forward to laboriously move the tree trunk away, after the road-opening officials passed by, the tree trunk returned to its original position.

  "Damn it, shoo away those little rabbits and clear the road!" The imperial guard commander shouted in anger. The head of the prefectural yamen's guards was actually paying money to bandits to buy his way through, and he rode over, shouting.

  "Get him down!" The cavalry officer shouted, and with a loud "Halt!", a rope suddenly sprang up from the snowy ground, just in time to trip up the horse's legs. Neither the horse nor its rider had expected this ambush, and the officer was thrown off his mount in an instant.

  "Take him down!" The school lieutenant, wearing heavy armor, was knocked to the ground with a dizzy head, and for a moment he couldn't get up. Several small rascals rushed up, pressed his arms and pulled his legs, and actually tied him up.

  "Tsk, tsk, this horse's leg is broken, it's useless now, can only be eaten, what a pity!" A small bandit who was struggling to get up said to the school lieutenant's mount shaking its head. The leader of the gang didn't say another word and drew out his dagger to give that horse a quick death.

  "Rebellion, rebellion! It's true that poor mountains and evil waters produce wicked people. A few insignificant fools dare to block the imperial envoy's procession, beat up the imperial guards... You're all dead men! Take them all away and behead them!" Cai Da Gongzi was in the middle of enjoying himself in his sedan chair when he was disturbed, how could he not be angry? He roared with rage as he killed the bandit leader in the street, no, killed his horse.

  "Haha, another one dares to scold me? Take him down and bring him to justice!" At this time, the 'bandit leader' lifted off his bamboo hat that covered half of his face and laughed loudly.

  At the moment when Zhao Che removed his bamboo hat, all the yamen runners dispatched by the prefecture recognized that the child was none other than the current Second Imperial Prince, Ying Tianjun, who had caused a big disturbance at the prefectural yamen. The runner who led the way was now drenched in cold sweat and his legs were trembling with fear. He glanced gratefully at the leader of the group, hastily lowered his head, and silently recited the Taoist mantra "you bu dao wo". However, his mind was racing wildly, thinking that he had heard that the eldest young master of the prefecture had scolded the king last time and almost got beheaded, and it wasn't until the prefect used several hundred mu of land to appease him that the matter was finally settled. Now, who knows how much silver this imperial envoy would have to spend to avoid this disaster!

  "Who is he?" The bound Jinyiwei officer looked up at the terrified official next to him and asked.

  "Ah, isn't that the Second Prince of Ying Tian? We're going there, aren't we? Don't you recognize him?" The yamen runner said to the jiao wei who was crouching at his feet. He thought to himself, "On the way here, you rode a horse and I had to walk, you were so arrogant and showy, now it's my turn to scare you and vent my anger." "You just collided with the prince on horseback, didn't you?" The jiao wei honestly shook his head and then nodded.

  "I've already given you the good news, last month our governor's uncle and several subordinates were sent to Lingnan because of this, now they are farming with the barbarians. You probably don't have a big face or a lot of money, I estimate it will just be one knife 'chop' and that's it. But don't worry, the executioner is my brother, I'll tell him to make it quick for you, no extra charge!" The constable said in a low voice, but by then the officer had already "passed out", rolled his eyes back, foamed at the mouth, and his legs twitched upwards.

  Cai You was still unaware of what had happened and led a group of imperial guards to rush over, just as Wang Ye was about to be caught. Just in time, a loud shout came from the woods, and four big men rushed out, "Who dares to move the Duke, you're not tired of living!" The leader was Pan Long, his eyes glared like an upgraded lantern, even Cai You's second poisonous eye was dazzled, the imperial guards saw it and became more tense, their hands already on the hilt of their knives.

  The yamen runners in the provincial capital took a few steps back as soon as they saw these few masters come out, and the master at the head was an American-made "bunker bomb", let him touch it once, who can bear it, the two brothers who were hit by him last time spent the New Year in bed.

  "Are you the Second Highness?" Cai You's eyes widened, his ears hadn't gone deaf, and he quickly stopped the guard's next move. He himself stepped forward, rubbing his eyes to take a closer look at the little kid in front of him. The kid was wearing a red satin jacket, deerskin boots, and had a golden belt around his waist with a golden fish bag hanging from it. His face... they say sons resemble their mothers, daughters resemble their fathers, as someone by the Emperor's side, how could he not come out?

  "Who are you?" Cai You sized up Zhao Chu while Zhao Chu also looked him up and down. This guy had a face as white as jade, delicate skin, was dressed elegantly, and reeked of perfume. A man in his thirties who looked like a middle-aged woman; if it weren't for the fact that they were currently in the Song Dynasty, he would have thought he'd run into 'Little Shen Yang' on the road.

  "Oh, I am a Hanlin Academician of the Imperial Academy, a scholar of the Dragon Diagram Pavilion and concurrently a Reader-in-Waiting, an Administrator of the Supreme Clarity Precious Register Office, and a Recorder of the Two Streets Bureau of the Secretariat..."

  "Say the name, you think you're a tea doctor ordering dishes or something! You're being so annoyingly vague!" Zhao Yan said impatiently.

  "Your subordinate Cai Tao, courtesy name Ju'an!"

  "Oh! You're the eldest son of the Cai family, you've grown so big in just a year!" Zhao Yan said with a nod, feeling a chill in his heart. He was the infamous instigator, number one green hat wearer and imperial court's top actor in Song Dynasty history. Not only did he offer his own wife to the Emperor for pleasure, but also didn't hesitate to dedicate his own 'chrysanthemum' to the Emperor as well.

  "Huh? I'm indeed! Cai Yi was stunned by Zhao Ze's words, thinking to himself that he had been playing with his father in the small black room every day. You didn't call him uncle or grandpa, but calling him 'big brother' wasn't out of line either. But actually addressing my father as 'Old Cai', isn't that treating me like a junior? Now it's too late to explain, I can only pinch my nose and acknowledge it."

  "Xiao Cai, I just heard someone scolding me as a little turtle egg, was it you?" Zhao Che pulled down on Cai You's shoulder and asked.

  "It's all because I, the official, have eyes but no pearls, and didn't recognize Your Excellency!" Cai You said with a flattering smile as he knelt down, seeing that Wang Ye was being affectionate towards him. With so many people around, it would be hard to deny what had happened, and besides, he spent all day flirting and bickering with 'his father', nothing much came of it, so he just honestly admitted it.

  "Oh, you've admitted it, so your meaning is that my father is a turtle egg, my mother is a turtle egg, and they gave birth to a little turtle egg like me!" Zhao Che said with a pat on his face. Cai You finally understood that the king was pulling him because he was too tall, and he had to look up to speak, which was tiring, not some kind of affection. The guards nearby couldn't help but turn their backs and laugh, while the officials hid even further away, thinking that this imperial envoy would soon be kneeling on the street getting slapped in the mouth, and they would have to get rid of him."

  "I, your subordinate, never had such intention!" Cai You was startled and changed from squatting to kneeling, now he was as tall as the king. He understood that it was fine to secretly play with the emperor, but if he admitted to intentionally insulting the king, those officials who were not in his favor would be delighted to write memorials all night.

  "What's the point of waiting, he has already admitted it, tie him up and behead him!" Zhao Zhe swiftly drew a knife from the waist of a nearby imperial guard and tossed it to Xue Bao, who was standing aside.

  "Yes, Second Master!" Pan Long came up and pressed Cai You down, casually slapping the hat off his head with one hand, and brushing his hair back to reveal a snowy white neck. Xue Bao spat a mouthful of saliva into his palm, rolled up his sleeves, and raised his knife ready to execute him. The people around were stunned, saying "If you're going to chop, then chop!"

  "Your Highness, spare my life! Liang Daquan, save me...!" Cai You's face turned green with fear. As a favorite of the Emperor, if one of the princes killed him, he would at most lose his title and be put under house arrest. But if he lost his head, it wouldn't grow back! He couldn't help but shout for help loudly!

  "Shout whatever you want, he's got great kung fu skills, and chopping him down won't hurt a bit!" Zhao Yi reached into Cai You's chest and rummaged around, pulling out a large stack of silver ingots. "Cai... Cai scholar, you're dead, and all this silver on your body is useless, you can't even spend it in the afterlife! I'll exchange it for paper money and burn it for you later!" As he spoke, he stuffed all the silver ingots into his own chest.

  "Congratulations, Your Highness!" Zhao Er was untying the jade belt from Cai You's waist, thinking that the old man was quite able to keep his cool, and had not come out despite all this commotion. But before he could untie the belt, a voice finally came from behind him - it was Liang Shicheng.

  "Hey, Old Lady Liang, you're here too! What took you so long to come out? Let me tell you, even if we are old acquaintances, you still have to pay the toll!" He and Liang Shicheng had met twice in the palace before, and that face with wrinkles deep enough to swallow flies was unforgettable. Seeing him coming down, Zhao Chu's heart secretly cursed, "Hold on for a bit longer, and that jade belt will be mine!" But he still smiled and bowed his hands to Liang Shicheng.

  "Yes, yes, I'll give it!" Liang Shicheng smiled and took out a small silver ingot from his bosom and handed it over.

  "Ah, Old Lady Liang is indeed understanding. Let's go to my place later and have a cup of hot tea!" Zhao Yi put the silver into his mouth, took a bite, and threw it to the little servant behind him, saying: "Zhao Ren, find the money!"