Chapter Six Play

  Name: Lao Shou

  Sex: Male

  Age: Appearance over sixty

  Occupation: Theatre Doorman

  Address: No. 55-58, Bomei Village, Nanshutun

  The end of the fall is hell or heaven?

  Jiang Xuewei felt that he should be wandering in this market, like a wandering soul. He couldn't remember what had happened in the past three minutes, but three minutes ago, he was probably standing on the rooftop of the famous science building of his alma mater, ready to jump off. However, what happened afterwards was unclear even to himself. It seemed as if he had just woken up from a short nap, or maybe he had just dozed off for a moment? When he came to, he found himself in the midst of this bustling market, where vendors dressed in strange attire were shouting and peddling exotic goods that he had never seen or heard of before. Of course, there were also some familiar items, such as the rocket launcher carried by the fat man.

  According to common sense, things that cannot be explained clearly should be attributed to the category of abnormality and non-human. Selling firecrackers = breaking the law = going to jail, being shot, so this place is definitely not normal. Adding the suicide incident three minutes ago, the conclusion is that this is not a human world! The question is, is this hell or paradise? Should we consider it according to Eastern people's ideas or should we follow Western religious patterns to judge?

  Jiang Xue simply wrapped his arms around himself and began to stroll slowly through the market. To be honest, he felt that he was being a bit too calm, after all, not many people would make a list of their personal belongings and distribute them among their family members before jumping off a building, nor would they suddenly appear in this market with nothing better to do than to take a leisurely stroll after having gone through the journey of death!

  Jiang Xuewei remembered the evaluations his teachers gave him: "Excellent grades, mature beyond his years." These eight words appeared on his report card twice a year for eighteen years without exception. He also recalled how his classmates' parents praised him highly: "Look at Jiang Xuewei, so steady and sensible at such a young age! Good grades, good at sports, and capable of working... why can't you learn from him?!" He remembered... damn it, he patted his forehead, having forgotten to leave behind a reliable defense for his parents in the farewell letter - he didn't like calling it a will, as it sounded like he had left something undone on the 35th floor rooftop. For someone who never left anything undone, this was undoubtedly a second-rate move.

  A top student who excelled in both character and academics, upon receiving the admission letter to a prestigious university's prestigious program, his desired major, thought of taking his own life at his high school graduation. It's easy to imagine which aspects those sensationalized reports would point to: overwhelming academic pressure leading to mental breakdown - the example of Fan Jinzhong; introverted personality ultimately leading to depression - this topic has been very popular lately; unrequited love, failed friendships? Unfortunately, he left behind a farewell letter that refuted all of the above.

  Is he under a lot of pressure? He reads for no more than four hours every day. Is he introverted? He smiles all the time and often tells others that smiling can make you ten years younger. Has he had his heart broken? Everyone knows he has a pretty and lovely girlfriend, who is one of the best among their peers and in society. Has he been disappointed in friendship? Jiang Xuewei is not a goody-goody model student, he also fights, skips class, plays CS, and it seems that this makes him more popular with girls, although he doesn't do these things for that purpose. Everything that can be written about has been blocked by him, so what's left? A broken family!

  Unfortunately, although Jiang Xuewei didn't have much of a reaction to his parents' divorce a week ago, this just happened to be the breakthrough that reporters were waiting for. Thinking about this, Jiang Xuewei couldn't help but let out a sigh. He had been sparing his parents from worrying about their children for so many years, and now it was time for them to face the troubles brought by their offspring. Otherwise, they might not even know if they had ever given birth to any children.

  Since Jiang Xuewei's childhood, his father, who held two doctoral titles and worked in a research institute, and his intelligent, beautiful, elegant, and noble businesswoman mother had never treated him like a child. Sometimes he was an explorer facing his father; sometimes he was a negotiating opponent facing his mother. It can be seen that in their hearts, he has always been regarded as **from the beginning to the end! It seems that this will become another topic for discussion - "Elite Education, Accelerated Growth and Deep Reflection". He outlined such a title in his mind, curling up his mouth to reveal a sarcastic smile.

  So, why did he want to commit suicide? He asked himself, and this was the only question that even he couldn't understand. Having everything others hoped for, having an infinitely bright future and boundless prospects, coming from a good family, having a fulfilling love life... what more could Jiang Xuewei possibly be dissatisfied with? Dissatisfied? He furrowed his brow in thought. Hmm, it was indeed possible that he had become too satisfied, leading to the pursuit of thrills through crime or suicide to alleviate boredom. Maybe this reason would work for convincing himself. He clenched one fist and knocked on the palm of the other hand; although it wasn't a eureka moment, at least there was a superficially plausible reason now. Seeking precise answers in all things was his consistent style, including his own suicide - he wouldn't allow any exceptions.

  As he turned the corner, a two-story building appeared before him. Jiang Xuewei approached with some curiosity and saw a small pavilion at the entrance, where an old man sat wearing a crisp deep blue Zhongshan suit, purple-black-framed glasses, and holding a newspaper, intently reading it. This kind of person could be found in any state-owned enterprise's gatehouse, but Jiang Xuewei felt that something was strange. His logic was precise and rigorous; in a bustling market filled with eccentricities, the appearance of someone who seemed normal was probably the most abnormal, so the old man = not normal = unknown.

  "Cough." Jiang Xue cleared his throat, attracting the old man's attention.

  The old man put down the newspaper, looked at him in a way that older people often do from behind their glasses, waved his hand to let him in, and Jiang Xuewei really went in. Knowing when to advance and retreat was also one of Jiang Xuewei's solid skills.

  Passing through a large hall that looked like an abandoned factory, Jiang Xuewei saw a narrow door with a horizontal bar holding up a thick, deep blue curtain. This scene should have been very familiar, and over the years, Jiang Xuewei's brain had developed the habit of automatically searching for uncertain things. Half a minute later, he came to the conclusion that hall + building + blue door curtain = 1980s cinema.

  Jiang Xuewei lifted the curtain and walked in, his eyes momentarily blinded by the darkness. As they adjusted to the dim light, he saw a spacious theater with a large stage, covered in deep red curtains, similar to those in his elementary school auditorium. The stage was empty, suggesting that the performance had not yet begun. Jiang Xuewei looked around and, illuminated by the lights on the stage, saw scattered groups of people below, including young, old, and middle-aged individuals, with a slight majority of young people. Some were fixedly staring at the stage, while others fidgeted with their chair armrests or rested their legs on the chairs in front of them. A girl was applying makeup using a flashlight. Jiang Xuewei found an empty seat in a corner near the back and sat down beside a middle-aged man in his fifties.

  After waiting for two minutes, a semi-transparent white curtain slowly descended from above the stage. Through the curtain, it could be seen that people inside began to move around. Jiang Xue had never seen such a play before. To make an analogy, it was like a live-action version of shadow puppetry. The actors on the stage behind the curtain were busy running back and forth. After a whistle sounded, they quickly gathered in a row, standing neatly and respectfully bowing to signal the start of the formal performance.

  A man appears first, wearing a military green jacket and dark blue pants, carrying an old-fashioned military bag. Jiang Xuewei draws the first conclusion that this story takes place in the early days of the founding of the country. Then comes a woman, wearing a blue floral dress and brown pants, sitting with the man on a long bench, smiling seriously. Jiang Xuewei draws the second conclusion that these two people are married. Following normal logical reasoning, the characters who appear at the beginning of the scene are just supporting actors, and Jiang Xuewei guesses that this play is about their child. Ten minutes later, the supporting actor male holds a child in a simply furnished brick house, dancing with joy, verifying Jiang Xuewei's guess.

  "Xiao Lian, Xiao Lian, what do you think we should name our child?"

  "Old Jiang, look at you enjoying yourself, quickly sit down and don't hurt the child."

  "Do you think our child will be better off being a worker or a teacher in the future?"

  "Anyway, I hope he will make something of himself in the future. Old Chiang, why don't we just name the kid Chiang Xuewei?"

  Jiang Xue was stunned, and then carefully examined the two actors. To his surprise, they really did look a bit like his parents. So, was this story about him? He thought again, having heard that when people die, their whole life flashes before their eyes. Was he now seeing his own life before he died? He smiled, finding it quite interesting, but couldn't understand why all the other people in the theater had come to watch his life.

  The light dimmed and then brightened again, the scene shifted to a school with the words "Study hard, strive for excellence" on it. Jiang Xuewei saw many children wearing white shirts and green scarves, leaning over their desks writing carefully, except for one child sitting in the back row, who had nothing around his neck and was busy tying the braids of the girl in front of him to the chair. Jiang Xuewei looked around, searching for his childhood self, and judged that he should be the third from the left in the middle row.

  "Jiang Xuewei!" The teacher put down his textbook and shouted, "Jiang Xuewei!" with an even heavier tone.

  Three horizontal bars raised their heads to look at the teacher, but did not stand up. Jiang Xuewei's memory of himself in elementary school was vague, and he only remembered that his grades were excellent, and he had won many awards. The teacher, however, remembered clearly, and this one with hair combed behind her ears and a black hair clip was Luo Laoshi, who taught Chinese language and literature, and had a good impression of him.

  "Jiang Xuewei, your classmate!" Teacher Luo slammed his hand on the desk in anger.

  "Here, here, here!" What surprised Jiang Xue was that the one who stood up was actually the naughty kid sitting in the last row. His two hands were pitch black and his clothes still had a lot of mud on them, looking silly.

  Jiang Xue's face showed a look of surprise, wasn't the one with three stripes himself? Wasn't the one who looked like a bad student actually himself? Had he acted out of line or had he remembered it wrong?

  The play continued, and the teacher took the duck egg's report card home for a visit.

  "Your family's Jiang Xuewei is really..." Teacher Luo looked very troubled.

  Jiang's father has been replaced by a new actor, and a slender and steady middle-aged man appears, with a soft smile on his face that is different from the serious expression in reality: "Hehe, I'm afraid it's going to be a lot of trouble for you, Teacher. This kid is actually quite clever, but he's just naughty and disobedient!" As he speaks, he affectionately ruffles Jiang Xuewei's messy hair.

  "Ah, Teacher Luo has arrived," said Mrs. Jiang, who had just returned from work with a basket of vegetables and a few eggs. "Our family is causing you trouble again, come on, let's have dinner together before you leave. Old Jiang, you're really something, Teacher Luo comes all the way here and you can't even make a cup of sweet tea?"

  "Yes ma'am, I'm going now." Mr. Jiang bowed and followed Little Jiang in, making a ruckus along the way.

  Jiang Xue was staring with his eyes wide open, desperately trying to take it all in. Was this really his home? Were those two people his parents? And that dirty little kid, was that really him? His parents had always been so polite and courteous to each other, when had they ever been so loud and boisterous? He had always been an excellent student, how could he have gotten zero points on a test and had the teacher come for a home visit? As the leader of the student council, Jiang Xue had never looked down on poor students, but he didn't like them either. How could he, an elite student, possibly be that naughty and stupid kid who did poorly in school? This was all just nonsense! His emotions fluctuated again, this time with anger! Jiang Xue wanted to leave the theater. He tried to stand up from his chair, but strangely, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get out of his seat. Jiang Xue started to panic, using both hands to push against the hard wooden chair seat, trying to lift himself up, but after a while, he still had no success.

  "Let me out!" Jiang Xuewei shouted, his emotions turning to fear. "Aren't we going to die? I don't want to look anymore!"

  No one paid attention to him, the people sitting in the theater were hidden in the dark, only the white curtain let out a glimmer of light that shone on their faces with a pale blue tint. Jiang Xue was disappointed and let go, sighed, and forced himself to look down again.

  The scene changed again. The little girl with pigtails, wearing a rarely seen beautiful floral skirt, walked home with Jiang Xuewei, who was kicking small stones and taking out a slingshot to glance around.

  "Jiang Xuewei," the girl called out softly, "can't you just not do this?"

  "Why can't I be like this!" Little Jiang Xue wiped his nose, with a rogue look on his face.

  "Because, because my dad isn't like that."

  "What's wrong with you? Why should I be like your dad?"

  "Because, because," the girl's face turned red and it took her half a day to spit out one sentence, "because others all say I look like my mom, if you look like my dad, then...then I can marry you."

  "I don't want you, you're ugly to death!" Little Jiang laughed and pulled a girl's braid, hehehe.

  The girl burst into tears and ran all the way home with her braids disheveled. Little Jiang Xue was nonchalant, making a silly face as he lay down by the side of the road to gaze at the viscous amber-colored maltose in Old Man Tiegong's metal lunchbox, his mouth watering so much that drool dripped onto his clothes.

  This despicable child is absolutely not him! Jiang Xue thought with disgust.

  The light flickered, and Jiang Xuewei's story entered high school. During this time, young Jiang Xuewei continued to be mischievous but slowly began to mature; his grades were still not great, but he was able to squeeze into the top 15 in his class through hard work; he didn't hold any official position, but he was very enthusiastic about doing things for his class. In the first semester of high school, Jiang Xuewei secretly got a girlfriend, who wasn't particularly good-looking, but when she smiled, people around her felt happy too. Jiang's parents were still played by the same actors as before, but with added wrinkles using makeup, making it look very realistic. They had a great relationship and would sometimes argue, usually over trivial matters, but after arguing, they would go out shopping together like two old kids. Jiang Xuewei's family bought a new house, although they took out a loan for over ten years, the decoration materials were still purchased by themselves, but when moving into the new house, the whole family was beaming with joy.

  This ordinary person, how could it be himself! Jiang Xuewu unknowingly clenched his fists.

  "Hmph, just wait and see how you'll do in the college entrance exams!" Even he himself didn't realize that he was wishing for Jiang Xue to be unfortunate, this emotion had been brewing to a dangerous degree but he hadn't noticed it and thus couldn't use his exceptional mind to think about the reason.

  As expected, Xiao Jiang Xuewei failed his college entrance exam! He didn't even get into a vocational school, but his little girlfriend got accepted into a prestigious university.

  Let's see how you handle it! Jiang Xue sneered at the silly boy on stage, waiting for his girlfriend to break up with him and his parents to scold him. Or else, it would be his parents' unspoken words and the girl's wishful thinking, let's see if those pressures can crush you!

  Xiao Jiang Xue has indeed become dispirited, the smile on his face has decreased, and Mr. and Mrs. Jiang's attitude towards their children has also become cautious, fearing that they will touch that wound. When girls come to find Xiao Jiang Xue, they are either rejected or directly driven away.

  Jiang Xuewei's spotlight went out, and the spotlight shone on Jiang Xuewei, who was crawling in the middle of the stage. The music used a heavy drum to punctuate the mournful cry of the violin, clearly indicating the protagonist's sadness, self-abasement, and self-punishment, but to him, it felt like the unhappiness that had been building up in the previous acts suddenly lightened a lot.

  "I understand, I finally understand, it's me who wronged you!" The middle-aged man next to him suddenly shouted loudly, startling Jiang Xuewei, and when he turned his head to look, the seat next to him was actually empty. Jiang Xuewei rubbed his eyes, and indeed, he had vanished! The middle-aged man who had been sitting next to him just a moment before had disappeared without a trace. By the time he turned his head back to look again, the play had already reached **.

  The little girlfriend came to find Jiang Xue before going abroad. On a rainy day, the rainwater on the white canvas poured down with a gurgling sound, and the two people stood in the rain, each holding an umbrella.

  "Unless I die, you can't get rid of me." The girl casually threw out the only sentence and walked away.

  Jiang Xuewei on stage was stunned, and Jiang Xuewei below the stage was also stunned. This actress who looked so gentle and elegant could actually show such a strong presence! The Jiang Xuewei below the stage tried hard to steer his thoughts back to an academic appreciation, but something sharp kept getting stuck in his throat, forcing him to want to shout out something.

  While Jiang Xue was trying hard to stop the abnormal behavior of shouting, the play on stage continued as usual.

  Jiang Xue gave up further studies, working on a construction site during the day and attending night school to study architecture, which he loved. He had moved to another city to live alone, but not in the city where the girl was studying at university. The work was very tiring, studying wasn't easy either, the living environment was poor, and he lost a lot of weight all at once. However, the girl would come to visit him from time to time, helping him with laundry and cooking, and bringing many books and daily necessities over.

  "You will definitely be successful, because you are the one I have taken a liking to!" The girl said sweetly with her head on Jiang Xuewei's shoulder.

  Jiang Xue, who had just calmed down his emotions, felt a sudden itch in his throat again. He thought of his girlfriend, who came from a good family, looked good, and was excellent in her studies, and could easily surpass the girl on stage by far. Why did he feel uncomfortable in his heart? There was an emotion that had been bothering him from the beginning, what exactly was it?

  Fail! Jiang Xuewei shouted in his heart, looking at the stage where another Jiang Xuewei was standing with his own design manuscript in front of a high-end commercial building. He increasingly wished for that Jiang Xuewei to be unfortunate! This feeling was so strong that he hated not being able to personally go up and disrupt that Jiang Xuewei's life.

  "This is...my design draft." Jiang Xue said hesitantly.

  "Alright, you can stay behind. If we decide to hire you, we'll notify you. Next!" The interviewer glanced at the blueprint hastily and asked Jiang Xuewei to leave, closing the door behind him. In that instant, Jiang Xuewei saw his painstakingly drawn blueprint of several months being thrown into the trash can.

  Failed again! Jiang Xue felt a thrill of joy in her heart, next it's your girlfriend who will leave you.

  The girl finally reached the time to enter society, Jiang Xuewei was still working as a short-term worker on that construction site. The girl's relatives and friends began to persuade her to give up that useless boy, the girl from initially refusing to eventually reluctantly accepting some blind dates, until one day, the girl left.

  The sky has fallen! Jiang Xue is facing an unprecedented cruel reality, and this time he was hit hard because one of the pillars that supported his spirit collapsed, and he almost couldn't get up.

  But, just almost! At the moment when Jiang Xuewei was whistling relaxedly under the stage, that depressed Jiang Xuewei for several months suddenly decided to take the university exam again. The Jiang Xuewei under the stage found himself unable to understand what the one on the stage was thinking, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't think of why Jiang Xuewei still needed to take the university exam when he was at his wit's end. What if he got in? Would his girlfriend come back? Would everything go smoothly afterwards?

  The people below had disappeared again, Jiang Xuewei didn't notice, his whole spirit was now on the stage, as if he was fighting with the strong and unyielding person on the stage. Jiang Xuewei took the college entrance exam, Jiang Xuewei graduated from university, Jiang Xuewei hit a wall in finding a job, Jiang Xuewei worked at a small company, Jiang Xuewei was framed and fired, Jiang Xuewei got married, Jiang Xuewei had children, Jiang Xuewei's family wasn't rich, Jiang Xuewei's kids weren't smart, Jiang Xuewei slowly made a name for himself in the construction industry, Jiang Xuewei's career was thriving, Jiang Xuewei suffered from cancer, Jiang Xuewei passed away.

  "This life of mine, looking back, although there have been many setbacks, but it's all worth it. He trembled with both hands, one hand holding his tear-wiping wife and the other holding his red-eyed son, "At least, through my own efforts, I got what I wanted, those failures and successes, those people who brought me harm and happiness, they all added different colors to my life, so my life is colorful, my life is happy!"

  My life is colorful, my life is happy!

  In Jiang Xue's mind, this sentence kept echoing, a surging emotion suddenly filled every corner of his chest. It turned out that it was just this one sentence, it turned out that it was just this kind of feeling that he lacked. He had everything, but what he lacked was emotion. He had no pain, no setbacks, and also no true happiness, no true joy. Those superficial things that made people envy didn't move his heart at all. His life only had a single splendor.

  It turned out that he also wanted imperfect parents, an imperfect self, and an imperfect life. The emotion of being jealous of Jiang Xue from head to toe was actually "jealousy"!

  "I understand, I really understand!" Jiang Xue muttered to himself. His body began to disappear into the dark theater, and he felt his consciousness slowly floating up, rising higher and higher until he saw the actors behind the white curtain on the top of the stage, a row of wooden puppets sitting together...

  Lao Shou sat on a long bench, carefully wiping the face and body of the wooden puppet in front of him with warm water, occasionally raising his head to see if there were a few more people inside the theater outside the curtain.

  "It's up to you guys, my puppet can only come alive with your help." He helped the puppet put on its clothes and carried a basin of water to the back of the stage. "Without human emotions filling it, my puppet won't be able to perform an exciting drama!" He hummed a tune as he strolled back to his sentry room.

  Come quickly! The world's largest market, selling the unthinkable. Just follow the sunset westward at dusk and you'll surely arrive!