Chapter 2: Smuggling Through Time and Space

  Zheng Shaopeng was brought before Judge Cui, who stroked his beard and put on a benevolent smile. "Zheng Shaopeng," he said, "although we arrested you three years ahead of schedule, the person whose body you possessed is either wealthy or noble, which should be considered fair to you. However, you were dissatisfied and returned eight times within a year. Well, since modern people love traveling through time and space to ancient times, I'll send you on a trip to ancient times as a gift. What do you think?"

  "Go to ancient times?" Zheng Shaopeng couldn't help but feel a wave of excitement: "I only have two years left to live, going to ancient times for a tour is also good. Although I only have two years left to live well, there's no chance to experience the thrill of battle and being a great hero... Hmm... must make the most of it, these two years... Being Emperor Wu of Han? Emperor Yang of Sui? Both are quite enviable, but it's not about quantity, might as well be Chongzhen instead. At that time, there were Qin Huai Ba Yan, Hong Niangzi, Chen Yuanyuan..."

  Cui Panguan stroked his mustache, slightly closed his eyes, shook his head and said: "Zheng Shaopen, this life I want to let you reincarnate into ancient times, should find a suitable family for you. Let me ask you, do you understand medical skills? Such as craniotomy, dissection, research and development of Western medicine and other means of making a living?"

  Zheng Shaopeng just wanted to enjoy a few years, but as soon as he heard his words, Mo Fei seemed to expect him to start his own business and become a divine doctor. So he smiled and said: "No way, if there's a headache or fever, I can still go to the pharmacy and buy some medicine myself, but who has the time to remember the ingredients of those medicines?"

  "Besides, I couldn't remember those scientific names anyway. As for trephining, don't even joke about it. Hua Tuo was a divine doctor of his time, but just because he said he wanted to trephine Cao Cao's skull, he got beheaded! Even if I knew how to do it, I wouldn't dare go back in time and show off - people back then were too ignorant, they wouldn't trust a genius doctor like me. If I went around showing off my skills, I'd probably get beaten to death as a heretic or sorcerer!"

  Choi Pan-gwan's face stiffened as he listened, and he suppressed his anger, pretending to be calm and composed. "Hanging a medical license to save the world, being a master of traditional Chinese medicine, is indeed glorious... but if you can't do it, then so be it," he said. "I'm asking you, can you formulate gunpowder or develop modern weapons? Beheading generals and capturing flags, achieving great things, are also joys in life."

  Zheng Shaopeng sighed: "Gunpowder... I remember it's supposed to be made with saltpeter, sulfur, and something else I've forgotten. Could it be charcoal? As for the proportions, I don't even remember those. Nobel was an expert on explosives, and he got blown up so many times he lost limbs. What would be the point of me, a mere amateur, trying to research this? Wouldn't that just be like Old Man Star hanging himself because he's tired of living?"

  "As for modern weapons...... why don't you send me to a munitions factory to study for three to five years first? Besides, the iron in ancient times wasn't even up to standard, and if I really tried to make something, it would just end up exploding. Why don't you send me to learn how to mine, smelt steel, forge, and build machine tools first? I reckon my technical skills aren't good enough, so at least let me become an engineer. Besides, with modern industrial standards, none of these processes can be done in a small workshop, right? If I went back to ancient times, the entire society's productive forces and technological capabilities wouldn't be able to keep up, and even if I had the skills to slay dragons, there would be no dragons in the world, so what's the point?"

  The ox-headed man couldn't help but roll his eyes and said, "You're really useless. How about something simple? Can you brew wine? Can you make glass? You can't be a great doctor or hero, but being a wealthy merchant isn't bad either."

  Zheng Shaopeng said: "Brewing... I don't know how to do it, but I can drink. I think Hongxing Erguotou is better than Maotai and doesn't get you drunk... What are you staring at? Go ask around, how many people can brew liquor? Who isn't in that line of work and still understands the stuff? As for glass... I only know it's made from sand, everything else I don't know."

  "Hey, what's up? Even if the glass factory workers only understand one process, right? But I do know that there is a type of glass called fiberglass and another type called sugar glass, which is used for special effects in movies. You might not know this... I wonder if these ideas were provided to those artisans who make glazed tiles, whether they could invent something new."

  His face was as long as a donkey's, the veins on his forehead were bulging, and he suppressed his anger: "You're not good at literature, you're not good at martial arts, your hands can't hold anything, your shoulders can't carry anything, what are you good at? You just have this mouth......this mouth......, how about marrying into an official family? At least you understand a lot of modern social systems, casually take out some, in ancient times it was a big innovation and progress, being a capable minister is not bad either".

  Zheng Shaode curled his lip and said: "Ma Mian brother, you wouldn't be thinking of seeing me often, so you came up with this idea, would you?"

  "What's wrong?" Ma asked blankly.

  Zheng Shaode said, "I don't remember much about the reforms of ancient times. However, I recall that there was a person named Shang Yang who had the support of his lord. This guy didn't make any major changes either, just encouraged farming and weaving, abolished the hereditary privileges of the nobility, granted honors based on military achievements, and so on. As a result, he faced strong opposition from the entire ruling class and was torn to pieces by five horses."

  In the Song Dynasty, Wang Anshi was even more timid. Wasn't he just trying to make some minor improvements to the existing system? He wanted to promote business development and improve military combat effectiveness by reforming the imperial examination system. These small changes were met with such strong resistance that even with the support of the Emperor, he couldn't push them through as Prime Minister. He shouted for reforms from above, but local officials below didn't listen to him. After repeated attempts at reform failed, he was dismissed twice and died in despair.

  "You say that these ideas are just slightly above the level of great politicians, and it's not good for me to blindly talk about modern systems when I don't even understand the ancient institutions or the ruling class. Not to mention whether they conform to the needs of production development at that time, I'm afraid that if I were to express such advanced consciousness, even reformers like Shang Yang and Wang Anshi would become conservatives, and I would be torn apart by five horses. Alas, this is purely empty talk, and empty talk not only misleads the country but also misleads oneself."

  Choi Pan-gwan stared at the garrulous good-for-nothing with wide eyes, and after a long while, he said helplessly: "Well... you should at least know the direction of history, who's rising and falling. You can climb up a big tree and live a safe life."

  Zheng Shaode shook his head like a rattle drum: "No, no, I know that bit of history is nothing. I do know that Qin Shi Huang must have conquered the world, but what's your ability? Just because you said he could conquer the world, you must be loyal to him, and others will support you?"

  I know that in the Tang Dynasty, there was a Li Shimin, under whom were Li Jing and Wei Zheng. As for Cheng Yaojin, I don't know if he actually existed in history or was made up. In the Song Dynasty, I knew about Kou Zhun, but later found out that he wasn't some poor old guy, his family was quite wealthy. A loyal minister is a loyal minister, but pretty corrupt too, limited by the times they lived in.

  What's even more frightening is that if you were to approach them based on the personalities and characters described in history books or novels, you might not even know how you'd end up dead. In my previous life, I was a pop star who made a guest appearance in a historical TV drama. A historian invited to the set told us that Yan Song, a notorious villain in history, served as the top imperial advisor for over 10 years and yet when his family's assets were confiscated after his downfall, they didn't even amount to one-fourth of those of Xu Jie, an honest official who had only served in the same position for six years. And before they became officials, both Yan and Xu started from the same humble beginnings!

  Yan Song's wife was quite strict in teaching their son, and Yan Shi Fan wasn't that kind of high-ranking official. Old Yan dealt with political enemies by defeating them, but Xu Jie and Gao Gong were the type who would torment people to death. However, those people had a good ending, so the historians didn't dare not give them some face. Who made Yan Song beheaded? Alas, history books can kill people."

  Choi Pan-guan's whole body trembled, his eyes almost spewing fire, and after half a day he stuttered: "T-then... shall I send you to the end of the Song or Yuan dynasty? Find a Nine Suns Divine Skill or a Dugu Nine Swords, become a great hero of the generation."

  Zheng Shaode sighed innocently: "When reading, I don't ask for much understanding. Old Jin didn't even draw a map in the book. The vast Kunlun Mountains, where can I find them? I only remember that Zhang Wuji was chased by someone and then fell off a cliff to discover the Nine Yang True Classic. Can I really carry a rope and search cliff by cliff? Either I'll be strangled to death or bitten to death by wild beasts. Even if I found it, do you think it's a comic book? The highest-level martial arts secret book is like a university course, definitely not starting from basic knowledge introduction. Do I understand it? If I don't die from madness, I'll go crazy."

  "He spoke with a flourish, spitting out words: 'Who does he think he is? Wind Clear and Bright may be easy to find, but would he teach me his skills? This old man has been hiding in the mountains for decades without taking on any disciples. He only took in Linghu Chong when he was old, do you really think he's that great? Who doesn't know that good things don't flow to outsiders' fields? At least Linghu Chong is a disciple of the Huashan School, and even then, Wind Clear and Bright observed him for a long time. If I didn't avoid interacting with people in the martial arts world, who knows, maybe Wind Clear and Bright wouldn't have taken me on as a disciple, and I might've been kidnapped by Tian Boguang to become his sex slave'."

  The ox-headed man's nose was twisted with rage, and he gritted his teeth: "You are simply the greatest waste of humanity, shameless to the extreme, a true embarrassment to modern people!"

  Zheng Shaopeng didn't think it was shameful, but rather glorious. He said with a self-satisfied tone: "It's only natural, no matter how strong the Manchu Qing dynasty was, once they entered the Central Plains, they would still be assimilated by the Han people who were in the absolute majority. What can one person do, running to ancient times and trying to change the world? Just honestly get assimilated into ancient society. Are modern people that great? Modern social sciences are divided so finely, social labor is divided so clearly, a person is like someone looking at the sky from the bottom of a well, except for their own little area, everything else is just knowing without understanding. Would it be useful in ancient times? As for modern thought, once you get there, it's basically the root of all trouble, better to not have it at all."

  Choi Pan-gwan was also infuriated, and helplessly turned his head to ask the Cow-headed Arhat: "In ancient times, who could do nothing and still get food without working?"

  "Ah, Your Highness! Being an emperor is a hassle, being a prince is the best, nothing to worry about. Wanting to intervene will only cause trouble. As a member of the royal family, just go with the flow and wait for death, that's all. He's basically a waste-producing machine, a social parasite, perfect for him."

  Zheng Shaopeng thought for a moment: "Hmmm, being the king isn't bad either. When there's nothing to do, he can lead his dog slaves and tease some virtuous women, that's what it means to be a ruler... It's good, but one scolding will last several thousand years, being the king is pretty good"

  Choi Pan-guan smiled wryly, now he just wanted to get rid of this old man as soon as possible. However, thinking about it, cheating and sending him back to ancient times wasn't easy either. If he didn't stay quietly for two years and died again, it would be quite troublesome to cheat like this every time. So, with a stern expression, he said: "Alright, I'll send you to reincarnate as a king or prince, but for these two years, you must behave yourself as a king and don't give me any more trouble. Otherwise... Hmph! If I see you again, I'll immediately kick you back to ancient times and make you an even bigger official."

  Zheng Shaopeng listened and asked with a radiant face: "Do you want me to become the emperor?"

  Chui Panguan pulled a long face and said: "If you dare to die again before the time is up, I'll invite you to become a 9,000-year-old!"

  Zheng Shaopeng felt a chill run down his spine and hastily said, "No, no, being the king is good enough for me, I... uh, I'm satisfied with my current status. Ah, wait, I haven't finished speaking yet! What are you two gentlemen doing?"

  The ox-headed and horse-faced deities ignored him, grabbing him and flying out of the grand hall of the underworld, flying over the Naihe Bridge, and throwing him into the vast cloud sea.

  The Six Paths of Rebirth is a three-story high, round giant wheel that is slowly rotating. The outer edge of the giant wheel is engraved with four golden characters "Turning Wheel Holy King". On the wheel is a golden statue of "Three Lives Buddha", this Buddha has an ugly face, a shaggy head and sharp teeth, his feet are stepping on the head of a turtle, his mouth is holding the rim of the wheel, his arms are embracing the giant wheel, his bared teeth and grinning mouth seem to indicate that even with his divine power he cannot change the "karmic force" of human life.

  A giant wheel emits six rays of light, shooting straight out from the wheel and dividing it into six parts. These are Heaven, Human, Asura, Animal, Hungry Ghost, and Hell.

  The fortress was indeed easiest to break from the inside, and Ox-Head and Horse-Face found an excuse to deceive the ghostly guards into leaving. They immediately rushed to the front of the human path, took a close look, and slowly turned back the second layer of time wheel in the middle of the large wheel. The Dharma Wheel was indeed wonderful, as the time wheel moved, the third layer of identity wheel also appeared with all kinds of identities in society at that time. Ox-Head and Horse-Face turned the third layer of Dharma Wheel to the position of king and noble.

  The first eight times he cheated, Niutou and Mamian took him to the mortal world to find a suitable host. This time, however, it was through the Six Paths Reincarnation Wheel that he transmigrated. This wheel is actually the Buddhist treasure that determines a person's fortune and misfortune in life?

  Zheng Shaopeng felt a sense of novelty and couldn't help but run up to take a look, and indeed he saw that it was placed in the position of the king. He was overjoyed.

  Unexpectedly, he was a spirit body, and the cow head and horse face were also spirit bodies. He rushed forward impatiently and bumped into the cow head's arm, causing the time wheel to move slightly, but none of the three noticed.

  With just a "click" sound, the Wheel of Rebirth came to a stop, and six beams of golden light shot out from it, suddenly filling the air. The beams gradually converged into one, spinning and shining on Zheng Shaopeng's body. His body was penetrated by countless threads of light, almost becoming transparent. Immediately after, his feet left the ground, his entire figure shrinking rapidly, and he vanished into the beam of golden light in an instant.

  The golden light paused for a moment, then dispersed into six strands of mist. The Dharma wheel slowly started to rotate again. Niu Tou Ma Mian clapped his hands and burst out laughing. After he finished laughing, Niu Tou suddenly hesitated for a moment, his cow eyes glancing at Ma Mian: "Ah~~~, younger brother."

  "What's wrong, older brother?"

  "Has Ma Xian remembered who he just threw it at?"

  "Didn't you write it down, elder brother?"

  "Ah...... it seems we've made another mistake...... this time crossing space and time, we can't personally send him off, if he doesn't want to die, the person he's possessed is already dead, his soul has been extinguished in the underworld, where will we go to capture his spirit?"

  The horse face shrunk its neck: "This... uh... now the underworld also has a census, it seems that the number of old people over 100 years old is recorded and supervised by the Yin Division, so there shouldn't be any fish like Peng Zu who slipped through the net".

  "That's what I'm saying..."

  "Huh? What was said? It's just empty talk, who said it was us who sent him to cross over? Heh heh heh, this guy who should have died two years ago is actually going to live to be a hundred, by then people and things will have changed, who can still investigate what happened? Clearly this kid is also from the Time-Smuggling Clan."

  "Right, right, right! Die for a friend, don't die for a poor dao, it's none of our business, hahaha... Ma Xiongdi, yesterday I got a good wine, come and taste it with me..."

  With a bull's head and a horse's face, they walked out shoulder to shoulder.