Chapter 9: Human Waste

  "There are humans, ghosts, demons and immortals in this world, but the true division of power is only two kinds. One side is the light force, the other side is the dark force." Xu Yan said slowly.

  "Sounds like some fantasy?" I smiled.

  "No, it's reality." Xu Yan shook her head, "This is not what you call superstition, but a science beyond your current era. All things are born and die, in this world there is light, but where there is no light, there is endless darkness. Light gives all things vitality, gives all things energy, some people use these energies, and thus have the power of light. On the other hand, in the vast universe, there exists endless darkness, and some people use the power of this darkness, becoming the dark force. The two forces have been fighting each other since the birth of the universe."

  The more I listen to Xu Yan's words, the more I feel that she has a talent for writing science fiction. Whether what Xu Yan said is true or false, these are too far away from me, and I guess they won't have much to do with my affairs.

  I didn't interrupt Xu Yan's words and wanted to continue listening to her speak.

  Unexpectedly, Xu Yan rushed towards me and asked: "Do you know how demons and fairies come into being?"

  "Cultivation?" I had heard of cultivating into a demon or cultivating into an immortal before, but I never took it seriously.

  Xu Yan nodded.

  "There are two ways to cultivate, one is by using the power of light and the other is by using the power of darkness. In our demon world, there are also two ways to cultivate, because of this, demons have been divided into two factions: dark demons and light demons. Billions of years ago, the light demons surrendered to the light faction of the secondary world, using the power of the heavenly phoenix to seal away all the dark demons in the Demon Tower. However, ten years ago, a problem occurred with the Demon Tower, the heavenly phoenix reincarnated, and the dark demons trapped inside escaped one by one. The light faction sent us to the human world to assist the reincarnation of the phoenix."

  "Are you also a demon who has surrendered to the Bright Forces?" I exclaimed in surprise, really hadn't expected that Xu Yan was also a demon.

  "Yeah, apart from that dog monster that bit you, it's just me, Ah Li, Old Wang and Grandpa Old Turtle." Xu Yan admitted.

  "Oh." I simply responded with a single word, "You've told a great story, but what does this have to do with me? Even if the egg really is a phoenix, it doesn't need to come find me to be its father, right?"

  "We must find someone with a predestined relationship in the mortal world to assist us." Xu Yan said to me.

  "Why me?" I asked anxiously.

  "Because you bought that hat." Xu Yan's answer left me speechless.

  "Is it just that simple?" I couldn't help but smile wryly, filled with regret.

  "That green hat was left behind when the phoenix reincarnated. Generally, no one would buy a green hat, but you did. This proves that you and the phoenix are destined to be together." Xu Yan explained very seriously to me.

  "A green hat? I'd be damned if a hat would bring so much trouble, I wouldn't buy one even if you killed me." I muttered.

  "It's come to this, no need to say more." Xu Yan's reaction was extremely indifferent.

  "Is this egg really laid by you?" I looked at the box and then gazed at Xu Yan.

  Xu Yan nodded: "The phoenix needs a birth mother, and I'm just suitable."

  "Why is it you, not..." I swallowed my words halfway through, actually I wanted to say "Why is it you, and not Ah Li", at least Ah Li looks more to my taste. That chest, those legs, that skin, just looking at her makes me feel good. Xu Yan may also be considered pretty, but compared to Ah Li, she's a notch lower in terms of charm.

  "Because I'm a chicken." Xu Yan said.

  "I was speechless at once, and when the chicken still had the nerve to say it out loud like that, this is just too shameless."

  "It's not what you think, I mean to say that I'm a chicken spirit, no, that's not right either, I'm a chicken demon, specifically a demonic creature of the chicken kind." Xu Yan also realized her words were problematic and blushed, hastily explaining to me.

  I breathed a sigh of relief and looked Xu Yan up and down again.

  "My true form is a Red-tailed Swallow, also known as a Red-tailed Chicken." Xuyan seemed to be in a hurry to explain this clearly to me.

  Actually, I don't really care what her true nature is, as long as she's not that kind of "chicken". At least being friends with her is still okay.

  "Where is the Demon Tower? Where are you from?" I didn't want to get entangled in Xu Yan's problem, so I changed the subject.

  "The world is divided into many small worlds. The primary world is this world, the secondary world is the immortal realm, the tertiary world is the demon realm, and the quaternary world is the yin realm." Xu Yan said, "The Demon-Suppressing Tower is in the demon realm, parallel to your world, but you can't see it. Have you seen ghosts? Similar to ghosts, they wander around you, but you can't see them unless you have special abilities."

  Actually, there's no need for Xuyan to give me examples and explanations, I can understand what she means. The theory of parallel worlds I've seen many times in movies, it's just that I never thought this would actually be true.

  "When are you leaving?" This is what I care about most. In fact, if it weren't for the poison on me, I would be eager for them to leave here early and return to their Three Realms world, or the demon realm.

  "For now, we can't go back," said Xu Yan. "There's a problem on the other side, and it's only one-way traffic. We can come from the demon realm, but it's hard to get back. We can only wait for the phoenix to be reborn and destroy the dark demons."

  "What about this egg, no, phoenix, when will it be reborn?" I asked Xu Yan.

  "The phoenix needs to incubate in the mortal realm for a period of time, and we need your help." Xu Yan said to me, "We need to collect some things to hatch the phoenix egg. As long as the phoenix egg hatches, we can go back and also help you detoxify."

  "How long will it take?" I asked.

  "It's about forty-nine days." Xu Yan replied.

  "Can I live that long?" I turned my head towards Ali and sighed with a bitter smile.

  "Don't worry, I'll find someone to help you suppress your toxicity." Ah Li glanced at me and snorted.

  "May I have a small request?" I said with a wry smile.

  "You said we will try our best to satisfy you." Xu Yan looked at me and asked sincerely.

  "Can't we switch to someone else? I just graduated, I don't have any work experience at all. Can't you find someone with experience to do this thing? I really don't fit in, I'm a very clumsy person, I can't do anything well. What if I mess up your big deal...?"

  Before I could finish speaking, Xu Yan's eyes had already welled up with tears, while Ah Li's face beside her was shrouded in dark clouds.

  I took one look at this situation and didn't dare say another word.

  "Xiao Yan is already yours, how can you not take responsibility? If you dare to wrong Xiao Yan, I will make sure you cannot live or die." Ah Li glared at me and said.

  "Then I'll change my request." I shrugged helplessly, like a deflated balloon. "Since you're demons, you must have some kind of magic power, right? Can't you just conjure up some renminbi for me? If that's not possible, then just turn it into gold!"

  I looked at Xu Yan and A Li with great expectation.

  Ke Ah Li and Xu Yan both shook their heads at the same time.

  "No way, we can't easily use magic in this world, or else we wouldn't need your help," said Ah Li.

  "Isn't that right? You make me work for you and don't even pay me? What am I supposed to eat and drink?" I thought for a moment, then shouted in desperation.

  "Sorry." Xu Yan lowered her head, "Or should we wait until we return to the demon realm and recover our demonic powers before repaying you?"

  "Never mind." I hastily waved my hand and said, "Let's just say I'm selfless and sacrificing for others."

  I really want some benefits, but I don't want to get too entangled with them. What if they go back to the demon world and still bother me? That would be a disaster for me.

  It's better to lose money than to lose one's life.

  "I don't mind not getting paid and I'm happy to help you guys out, but I have two conditions," I said.

  "How can you be so muddle-headed?" Ah Li said with some impatience.

  "There's only these two left." I said.

  "Then speak quickly." Ah Li urged.

  "The first condition is that you must help me detox." I was afraid they would renege on their promise, so I made them guarantee it in advance.

  A Li looked at me with a silly expression: "Would I let Xiao Yan be a widow?"

  "This sentence suddenly left me speechless again."

  "What's the second condition?" Xu Yan spoke up and helped me out of the awkward situation.

  "The second condition is that after you've finished your business, we'll go our separate ways and never cross paths again. We won't speak the same language, you'll walk your own plank, I'll take my own path, and we'll part ways for good. From then on, even if we run into each other, we'll pretend not to know each other. In short, don't bother me, and I won't bother you..."

  "That's enough!" Ah Li suddenly shouted, "Are you planning to dump Xiao Yan?"

  "What's wrong with Little Yan? I didn't have anything to do with her in the first place! Is this a plot by you guys to frame me? Do you want to entangle me for my whole life?"

  "What's called designing to trap you? That hat was bought by yourself, whoever buys that hat is Xiao Yan's husband! This is fate." Ah Li shouted at me.

  "We're from different worlds and aren't even the same species, what's the point of getting entangled with each other?" I retorted.

  "Alright, I agree to both conditions." Xu Yan wiped away the tears from the corner of her eyes and said with a forced strong tone, "Once Feng Huang is born, we'll go our separate ways and never see each other again."

  "No way, Little Swallow, he's...he has to go with us to the Demon Realm...he..."

  A Li spoke in a reserved and evasive manner, as if intentionally hiding something from me.

  "That's enough!" Xuyan said to Ali, "Since Old Turtle Grandfather didn't tell him, it's probably better that he doesn't know some things. We don't need to force it either."

  "What are you talking about? Are you hiding some unspeakable secret from me? Why do I have to go to the demon realm? I'm telling you, if you want to entangle me for a lifetime, I'd rather die from poison than cooperate with you." I said stubbornly.

  "That's all," said Xu Yan. "I've agreed to your two conditions, don't worry about anything else, we'll arrange for you to do things later."

  "That's good." I nodded.

  "Human waste." Two words escaped from Ali's mouth.

  This makes me speechless, I was clearly framed by them, but instead I became a scumbag.

  What is heavenly reason?

  Damn it!

  I can also tell from Ali and Xuyan's words that they should be hiding a lot of things from me, but at this time they didn't tell me, I guess even if I asked, it would be useless, so I just put down those doubts.

  "What exactly do you want me to do? Kill people, set fires, commit crimes and break the law? I'm a three-good student, after all." I was too lazy to bother with Ah Li, so I directly asked Xuyan.

  "The Phoenix's hatching requires some spiritual energy, we want you to help us collect some spiritual energy," said Xu Yan.

  "Is that all?" I looked at Xu Yan and asked, if it was just like before, letting me go collect the ghost spirits, then this matter would be much simpler than I had imagined.

  "There are also some other things, such as......"

  Xu Yan's words were not yet finished when the golden box suddenly shook violently.

  A faint cry came from inside the box.

  "What's going on? A mouse has gotten into the box?"

  I turned my head towards the box and thought that if the phoenix egg was eaten by a mouse, it wouldn't be fun anymore. If things went wrong, I would lose my life.

  "Something's wrong, it's dangerous." Xu Yan said suddenly.