Chapter 7: Laughing at Ma Yang's Eighteen Eccentricities

  I woke up to find it was already afternoon, the air inside the cave still reeked of gunpowder. The wolf king's corpse had been discarded at the entrance, its buttocks completely cleaned out by Old Six. The ground was littered with black wolf hair everywhere. Looking at Old Six sleeping with drool all over his face, a very satisfied expression, I couldn't help but shake my head and sigh: "This dead Old Six can really eat, such a big wolf's butt was easily destroyed by him."

  Saw that the fourth brother was not in the cave, so I got up and went out of the cave to look for him. When I came out of the cave, the remaining sunlight had not yet dispersed, shining on me very comfortably. It seems that spring is approaching soon.

  My fourth brother stood at the edge of a nearby mountain ridge, silently gazing into the distance with a look of deep concern. Hearing my footsteps, he anxiously asked: "Has big brother woken up? It's still a while before night falls, why not sleep some more?"

  "Can't sleep, fourth brother."

  "Are you worried about Tianyu Shifu?" asked Fourth Brother as he turned around.

  I nodded silently, hoping that night would come soon so I could deliver the task in my hands as soon as possible.

  I came to the fourth brother's side and looked far away. The mountain is very high, I can clearly see the distant market town, I know that's where I want to go - Mayang. A gust of cold wind blew over, making me involuntarily tighten my clothes.

  "Fourth brother, let's go into the cave! The cold air today is still a bit heavy and it's very windy here." Fourth brother nodded and followed me into the cave.

  The long-awaited dark night has finally arrived in my expectation. I'm mentally prepared, packed up and called out to the scarred 63 people to start rushing towards Lishang Village.

  Thanks to the fine weather, the progress of our journey was greatly improved. Along the way, we tried our best to avoid villages and pedestrians, keeping a distance from the official road. Occasionally, when we encountered brave travelers who took shortcuts, they would hear the shout of "Knife Scar Six" and hastily move aside. The journey was quite smooth, not even hitting a single dog along the way.

  It was around 3 or 4 in the morning when Old Six said as I had expected, "Big Brother, I think if we go another ten miles or so ahead, it should be Li Village."

  "I think we should also go ahead and find the village chief of Li Zhuang who said that there is a broken temple in the east of the village, about 4 or 5 li away. We must not get lost, otherwise these more than ten joyful gods will make us carry them one by one." I reminded Lao Liu.

  Lao Liu slowed down his pace and saw that the team had already slowed down. I shouted forward: "Damn it, why don't you stop quickly?"

  The sixth brother handed over the guiding flag in his hand to the fourth brother and soon disappeared into the dark night.

  Before arriving at the team, I once again carefully arranged the clothes and hats of the happy gods, and said to them with concern: "Everyone has been working hard on the road, and now it's finally time to go home. It should be time for you to meet your loved ones."

  "Can they hear us?" Fourth Brother's eyes had a hint of fear seeing me speaking so intimately with the dead.

  "They not only can hear what I say, but also feel that they have returned to their hometown. Wait a little while and we will proceed three or four more miles ahead, then you will see these happy spirits one by one fall down. At that time, no matter how I drive them, they cannot stand up again."

  "Why is that?" asked the fourth brother curiously.

  "Why do we have to drive them back to their hometown? Isn't it because people who die in a foreign land all want to be buried in their hometown? Their living relatives, in order to fulfill their wishes, don't want them to die in a foreign land, so they spend a lot of money to hire us to do this. Once we enter the Li Village border, these dead people will smell the air of their hometown and immediately fall down, so there's no way to drive them anymore, unless we use evil magic, but that would be playing with corpses. I understand the method, but my master has repeatedly warned me not to do such things that harm heaven and reason."

  "It seems there are still many ways to hurry a corpse." Fourth Brother sighed.

  Not long after, Liu Di had already hurried back. He was surprised that he came back so quickly and heard him say: "The big brother's broken temple is just ahead, I just met someone and asked clearly."

  It was so good that he immediately hurried to take the corpse to the broken temple. As usual, it was still Lao Liu who led the way and shouted slogans, and the sound of "Xiangxi Corpse Road, people avoid" echoed in the dark night for a long time.

  The journey of three or four miles had not been completed when the joy gods suddenly fell to the ground and could not get up. It seemed that they were already within the Li Village boundary.

  Seeing this, I and Lao Liu took off our rain cloaks and conical hats, handed over the extra things to my fourth brother, and started carrying the sedan chair with the bride towards the broken temple in front. Lao Liu was strong and sturdy, so he carried two at a time, and thus we carried all the sedan chairs to the broken temple by dawn.

  "After a short rest, I said to Lao Liu: 'Lao Liu, after dawn tomorrow, you go to Li Village to inform them to find a few more Taoist priests to prepare for an all-night ritual to appease the joyous spirits and let them enter the earth quickly. I don't have time to do such tedious things again. According to custom, I still need to buy longevity clothes for these joyous spirits at the market and then have Fourth Brother accompany me there. After finishing the handover tonight, we'll receive our pay and rush back to Chen Zhou.'"

  "I'll report back and wait for you here." Lao Liu replied.

  It won't be long before the temple is brightly lit. We didn't dare to rest for too long and went our separate ways according to plan. When we arrived at the market in Lǐ Zhuāng, people already knew of our arrival. The locals were very enthusiastic. Seeing that I wanted to buy a large quantity of longevity clothes for the God of Joy, they quickly took me to the best longevity clothing store. The owner of the longevity clothing store didn't even haggle with me.

  With the longevity clothes in hand, he was about to rush back to the broken temple, but saw his fourth brother with a pale face. He then remembered that since the night before last, his fourth brother hadn't eaten anything. So he smiled and said to him: "Fourth brother, are you hungry?"

  "Nothing, huh? I'm not hungry, big brother." Fourth younger brother usually likes to save face. Yesterday he was called to eat dry rations, possibly because of his bad mood at the time and couldn't eat it down. Now seeing me laugh, where would he admit that his stomach is hungry?

  "Never mind, let's go find a noodle shop to have a bowl of noodles! The noodles in Mayang are the best in the local area. Anyway, we won't be able to get back until evening, so there's still time, no rush." Without saying another word, he pulled his fourth brother towards a noodle shop.

  Found a relatively clean noodle shop and sat down. My fourth brother looked at the noodles on the table and exclaimed, "What's going on? Why are these noodles so thick? How can we eat them?"

  "Haha, you eat slowly, this noodle is just several times bigger than what we usually eat. Eat quickly and I guarantee you'll still want more." I said with a smile.

  The laughter attracted the surrounding diners, who all turned to look at us, but when they saw my ugly face, they immediately turned their heads away. Several young female customers even got up and left, it seemed that my appearance had greatly discounted their appetite. I couldn't help but smile wryly and silently apologize to them.

  My fourth brother was a bit embarrassed to see people looking at us with red faces, picking up their chopsticks and carefully picking up the noodles, slowly chewing them, and before swallowing, they suddenly exclaimed: "It's really delicious, it's truly a taste of heaven!"

  Fourth brother's shout once again drew a lot of surprised glances from the people around us. I laughed and said, "Ha! Fourth Brother Ma Yang, maybe you're the first to arrive?"

  Fourth brother nodded while eating noodles and replied: "Yes!"

  "Many strange things have happened in Mayang, adding up to eighteen bizarre incidents. Outsiders call them the 'Eighteen Wonders of Mayang'. This noodle dish is just one of them, do you know that?"

  Seeing my fourth brother's puzzled head shake, I pointed to the street and said: "Do you see any difference between that little pig on the street and ordinary little pigs?"

  "No." My fourth brother wiped his mouth and looked at me with a bit of confusion.

  Seeing this, I slammed the teacup on the table towards the little pig's side. The teacup shattered to the ground and the frightened little pig ran away swiftly. Its running speed was surprisingly much faster than a dog's. My fourth brother stared with his eyes wide open in shock.

  "Gosh, that little pig head runs really fast." exclaimed Fourth Brother.

  "Haha, this face is a weird pig, a weird foreigner who laughs and calls it the 18th strange face of Ma Yang. The noodles are so thick that they can be used as a belt. The pig runs faster than a dog." I laughed loudly pointing to the backyard of the noodle shop and said: "Look at what the person in the backyard is trying to do?"

  "That man might be thinking of climbing up the tree to pick and eat the pagoda flowers!" Sixth Brother guessed after a pause.

  "Not bad, take a good look at that person, and see how she climbs the tree later." I reminded him. As we spoke, the person had already hugged the trunk and was climbing up with a rustling sound.

  "Ah, that's actually an old granny, at least sixty or seventy years old. How can someone so old climb trees so quickly? It's just like a monkey! ——” Fourth brother couldn't help but exclaim in admiration after taking a closer look.

  "Not bad, this is another one of Ma Yang's eighteen oddities, known as 'old lady climbing trees faster than monkeys'. Other strange things you can see everywhere on the streets include: shorts worn over long pants, chili peppers served as main dishes, rows and rows of sauerkraut jars, three mosquitoes per dish, eggs strung up for sale, toilets erected outside front doors, small pigs carried around for sale, bamboo hats used as pot lids, calling out 'mom' to address grandmothers, streets referred to as 'big streets', doorsteps higher than knees, peanuts boiled and sold, doorsteps that can't be sat on, three-legged stools that can't be rocked, etc. In total, there are eighteen oddities known as the 'Ma Yang Eighteen Oddities', which is a unique local custom that surprises outsiders." I explained to my fourth brother in detail.

  "So it was like that! Brother, you must take me out more often from now on." The fourth brother's eyes shone with bright light.

  "Hmm, I'll have the chance to take you out more often. Have you eaten enough? It's getting late and we still need to head back to the broken temple, there's a lot of time needed for the Xi gods to get dressed." I asked as I saw that my fourth brother had already finished eating.

  Fourth brother nodded and immediately settled the bill for the noodles, also paying for the tea cup of the noodle shop owner. He then took his still distracted fourth brother directly to the broken temple.

  Arriving at the broken temple was already noon, Old Six had been waiting for a long time. Seeing me arrive now, he smiled and said: "Fourth Brother must have already experienced this place's eighteen wonders, right?"

  After finishing speaking, he took the longevity clothes from my hand and started dressing Xi Shen. Seeing this, I also hurriedly got up to help. Before long, the longevity clothes were already on Xi Shen's body.

  The happy gods removed the bamboo hats that covered their heads and the gauze that wrapped around their faces, put on new black clothes, and suddenly became brand new. They just waited for someone from Li Village to come and take them back and put them in coffins. Because they used a secret anti-corrosion medicine, each of them was still like when they had just died, except for a few who kicked their toes open during the journey and exposed their bones. Of course, the employer could accept this matter, after all, this phenomenon was inevitable.

  Everyone finally let out a sigh of relief and asked Lao Liu: "What did the people from Li Village say?"

  "When night falls, they will come to collect the body. They have already sent someone to invite a Taoist priest. Tonight, Li Zhuang's clan leader will personally host a banquet for us." said Sixth Brother clearly.

  "It was getting late, so after dinner at the chief's house, we rushed back to Chen Zhou. My master's matter couldn't be delayed any longer and I had to arrive in Chen Zhou before nightfall tomorrow. Thinking of my master, my heart felt a bit heavy."

  When night fell, Li Zhuang sent the relatives of the deceased to pick up the gods one by one and take them back. The clan leader even came in person to lead us to Li Zhuang from the broken temple.