Ding Fan's work I can still live for 30 days I can still live for 30 days I can still live for 30 days Unfinished Volume Sixteen Night Talk

  Night, deep mountains, a group of people, a cluster of fire.

  I sat, looking at the people around me lying in a circle. At such moments, you can't tell whether they're asleep or dead, just like you can't grasp the chill on your back is the mountain wind or the sigh of death.

  People around me were sleeping soundly, while I was keeping watch.

  Unfortunately, what we are guarding against is not beasts and unknown enemies, but ourselves.

  I see this dark night shrouding the world, and except for this spark of fire, there seems to be no glimmer of light.

  But I think it's okay, because this darkness has long been shrouding our hearts. Who can give us a glimmer of hope to get through this desolate and cold night?

  Who else can save us from death?

  Everyone lying here at this moment is suspicious, including me. I know that in their eyes, I must also be a suspect, a person with many reasons to kill.

  They are also so in my eyes.

  I don't believe anyone, including Fengyue, of course, also including Ma Tiancheng.

  I thought Ma Tiancheng was a drug dealer, and everything always seemed to be related to this. Looking at him leading us away from the south side and running to the north side seems to have confirmed many of my thoughts.

  At this moment, survival is the most important thing, nothing else matters.

  What justice in the world, what peace on earth, has anything to do with me at this moment?

  Or they never had any relationship at all.

  In the bonfire I fell into deep thought, this is a good way to pass the time, I suddenly heard a faint sound, I perked up my ears alertly, it turned out to be the wind and moon on one side.

  She whispered, "Hey, hey."

  She lay beside me, with Ma Tiancheng on her other side. It's imaginable that she deliberately chose this location to avoid those beasts.

  I said, haven't you slept yet?

  The wind and moon say that the ground is too hard, making it difficult to sleep.

  I stole a glance at her, and in the firelight, her profile still showed an incomparable beauty, a beauty that could conquer any man.

  To be honest, when men look at beautiful women, they are not bound by morality. Many times, men almost subconsciously appreciate a woman's beauty, and of course, many despicable thoughts are born in this appreciation. However, these thoughts that cannot be spoken aloud are the root and driving force of humanity's continuation for thousands of years.

  It's something deeply rooted in men's bones.

  I was so absorbed in it that suddenly I heard Xiaoyi's voice in my mind. Xiaoyi shouted in my mind, Are you still watching?

  I was startled and felt a bit embarrassed. Xia Ai's temper has been really getting on my nerves these past few days.

  The wind and moon closed their eyes, the long eyelashes trembled, she never opened her eyes, her vermilion lips lightly parted, and said to me, "Are you really a writer?"

  I murmured and said, I don't count as a writer, just making a living by writing.

  Fengyue said, "That's great! I envy those who can write."

  I said, how about you?

  It's Fengyue speaking, who else could it be but a student?

  I'm asking, what do you plan on doing in the future?

  Fengyue thought for a moment, then stuck out her tongue, what a mischievous tongue, pink and tender like the tip of a newly born lotus flower.

  The wind and moon say, I don't dare graduate, my wish is to hope for a smooth graduation, isn't it just death after graduation?

  I said, you really believe all this?

  Fengyue said, what else could be the explanation? Don't you believe it?

  The ticking sound in my ear is always echoing, I don't believe it's a lie, I said, I don't believe in ghosts, really, I think these deaths all have their own reasons, must be man-made. But this curse thing, I really can't say anything about it. Always feel like it's impossible, but somehow there seems to be something standing behind you, those things that can't be said, also can't be understood.

  It is better to believe in the existence of something than to believe in its non-existence when it comes to matters of life and death.

  I smiled and the two of us fell silent for a while. Fengyue spoke up, "Tell me about your past. Have you ever loved anyone?"

  I said, Little Ai.

  It's just been a few days since you guys met, right?

  I'm saying, if we're talking about how long we've known each other, the two of us have been together for a long time, almost since birth, can it be any more familiar than that?

  Fengyue said, stop bragging, I know you left when you were very young and only came back now that you're so big, you must have forgotten everything already.

  I say, this thing called fate is unbreakable, no matter how far, no matter how long, it's unbreakable, isn't it?

  The wind and moon were silent for a while, then said, it's really worthy of being a writer, saying it so well. This thing called fate, perhaps more mysterious than curses, who can say it?

  I said, is it? Do you have someone you love?

  Fengyue remained silent for a long time, so long that I thought she had fallen asleep. Then she said, "It's okay."

  I smiled and said, you're so beautiful, are you still pining for someone in vain?

  Feng Yue fell silent for a while before speaking up, "Do you think Ai Ya would kill someone for Hou Ming Yu?"

  I said, I don't know, I never knew that loving someone would require such sacrifices. Maybe Ai Ya really loves Hou Mingyu, but if it means killing for him and being reckless for his sake, then I'm not so sure anymore. Is there really love that can go to such extremes?

  Fengyue said, I do believe she would do anything for Hou Mingyu. Women cherish love more than their own lives, and I believe there are countless women in this world who would give up their lives for love. And didn't you tell me that story about the red-clothed woman? Isn't she also a woman who gave up her life for love?

  I said it's different, she was abandoned.

  Whether it's giving up everything for love or abandoning everything because of losing love, in the end, isn't it all just that love is greater than life? What's the difference?

  The words of Feng Yue made me fall into deep thought, what she said was not wrong, Hong Yi Niang Niang was also a woman who abandoned her life for love, could it be that the love between them had summoned this curse?

  My mind is full of curses, but Fengyue changed the subject and said that women are always foolish, men are better.

  I say, men can also give up everything for love.

  Fengyue said, would you sacrifice your life for Xia Ai?

  I said if it's for protecting Xiao Ai, I can go die.

  The wind and moon suddenly laughed, then said, men are always the best at talking. Love for women is life, is life itself, is everything, but for men, it's just a flavor enhancer, a sweet talk that must be paid out to satisfy their beastly desires. Isn't that so? If love were a bag of instant noodles, women would treat love as the noodle cake, and ** as the vegetable package, while men would treat ** as the noodle cake, as the seasoning, as the meat sauce, but love is just the vegetable package, just colorful decorations.

  I'm a bit embarrassed, half a day ago you said, how do you understand men so deeply?

  The more I understand, the more I despise. The world of men is forever filthy and unbearable, I really don't know why God wants to mix men and women together.

  I was really at a loss for how to refute her, because I simply didn't understand women and had no idea where to start in order to strike back. So all I could do was sit there awkwardly, not saying a word.

  After half a day, Fengyue said, "Am I scaring you?"

  I said no, nothing. Everyone has been through so much these days, and everyone's pressure is very great.

  She sighed and said, "Yes, in the end I still have to spend the night on this desolate mountain. A woman having to spend the night with a group of men... thinking about it... isn't my life quite miserable?"

  Don't worry, I'll protect you, just call me if anything happens.

  Feng Yue sighed and then said, "If I didn't have this face, would you still treat me so well?"

  I hastily said, you're a woman, men always have to take care of women, aren't they?

  Fengyue said, that's what you men think, when you say this sentence, you have already insulted me, do you know?

  I fell silent again, and Fengyue said in a low voice after a while, "Sorry."

  Tell me about the one you love, what kind of person is he? Why do I feel that he puts a lot of pressure on you?

  Fengyue said, the person I love has not made me suffer, and is very good to me, absolutely will not treat me like Hou Mingyu treated Ai Ya. But sometimes, when you love someone so much, when you see them suffering, you feel even more pain, you hope all the pain falls on your own body, you are willing to give up everything for him, in order not to let him suffer, you can die, do anything, right?

  I don't know why, but hearing these words makes me feel a chill run down my spine, as if some secret is about to jump out from the darkness.

  I carefully said that if one person loves another, they can't bear to see them suffer. It's the same for you and him. If he knew how much pain you're in, he would definitely be heartbroken too, right?

  The wind and moon were silent for a long time, then said, you are a good man. But there are many bad men in the world, stinky men, look around at those lying down, how many do not take love as a child's play?

  I took a look around and all I saw were domestic animals. They seemed to be very brave, or perhaps they were just too tired from climbing the mountain. Everyone was sleeping soundly.

  I'm telling you, be careful from now on, if anything happens at night, just call me, I'll be right by your side.

  Fengyue smiled and opened her eyes to look at me, then closed them again. She said, "You don't know that I practice karate? Do you know why I learned karate?"

  I said, in order to protect myself?

  The wind and moon say no, but in order to protect the people I love most.

  I burst out laughing and said to her, which man still needs a woman's protection, that's really ridiculous.

  Fengyue said, "Who says I'm talking about a man?"

  At that moment, I felt the flames stopped dancing, and the air began to condense. I stared at Fengyue in disbelief as she lay there with her eyes closed, looking like a breathtaking oil painting radiating dazzling light amidst the firelight.

  But I seemed to see her shadow stretching out, a huge black shadow standing behind me, holding a sharp dagger in hand.

  I feel cold sweat has penetrated my spine.

  What she just said, does it mean the same thing as what I'm thinking?