zeroday

  What is the root of human fear?

  Undoubtedly, it is death.

  Aren't you afraid of death?

  That's because you know you won't die for the time being.

  How many people have sung highly of death since ancient times, in these eulogies you can feel the chill behind them, one by one weak souls are trembling, begging, pretending to be strong.

  This is the story I want to tell about death.

  I am twenty-five years old. At the beginning of this age, I still felt that life was so long, and I was still cynical about the world, without realizing my attachment to it.

  On my 25th birthday, I invited a few friends and got drunk. The next day when I woke up, I felt empty all over, not just because of the hangover, but also because of my loneliness and desolation.

  Yesterday's bustle is just a firework for my life, most of the time I am introverted, relying on coding online to make a living, creating another world in a small space, and then filling that world with my friends, watching them laugh and cry.

  In that world, I am God, but in this world, I am nothing.

  I felt a little down, got up, tidied up the room, and then the doorbell rang.

  I thought it was a friend who suddenly turned back, and ran out with great enthusiasm, but it was the courier.

  The courier is very familiar to me, because he is almost the outsider I contact most in my daily life. I took over the package and scanned it, but the address was very blurry and couldn't be seen clearly.

  Back in the room, I opened the package and found that it was an iron box, a very old iron box. However, what's strange is that I seemed to have seen it somewhere before.

  It can't be someone's prank, right?

  I carefully opened the iron box, and what I saw was a pile of colorful wrapping paper. I was stunned for a moment, this seemed not to be a good gift, but rather a pile of trash.

  Is someone joking?

  I felt a bit down, I didn't know why I was so interested in this gift. I put the iron box aside and picked up the wrapping paper with my hands, rubbing it hard, and suddenly found that underneath was a yellowish-white piece of paper.

  Gently opened the paper, to be honest, I was really afraid that if I applied a little more force, this piece of paper would tear apart. I saw the few sentences on it and suddenly burst out laughing, a warm current surged into my heart, and it turned out to be the "time capsule" I buried over a decade ago.

  Of course, in the past there wouldn't be a "time capsule" like this. Back then we buried it as a memento of our friendship.

  My grandfather was an old Red Army soldier, who got injured before making any achievements and was settled in the liberated area. He eventually became a farmer. My father was naturally also the son of a farmer, and I was born in the countryside too. The place is called Gucun, where I lived for five years.

  When I was five years old, Grandfather's brother found us. He had joined the Red Army with Grandfather back then. After Grandfather got injured, he continued to follow the main force and eventually became a not-so-big-or-small official after liberating all of China. He searched for Grandfather for many years and finally found him, but could only burn a handful of yellow paper on Grandfather's grave.

  My grandfather asked us to follow him, he could arrange a job for my father in the city, which was great news for us, so when I was five years old, we moved into the city as a whole family and lost contact with our ancient village.

  When I was about to leave, my father bought me a big box of biscuits and a bag of sugar - a luxury that rural children could hardly afford at that time. I said goodbye to the little friends, and there were five familiar friends, and I still remember their names and childhood appearance.

  Two big strong donkeys are our children Wang, older than us, can protect us from being bullied.

  Xiao Pangzi is very fat and lazy, and on that day he even fought with Da Ai because of eating sugar.

  Dà ài and Xiǎo ài are a pair of sisters, supposedly with the surname ài. When they were young, neither the children nor the adults bothered to explain, so their names became "love" this and "love" that, resulting in Dà ài and Xiǎo ài. For many years, it seems like the character for "love" has become ingrained. Although they are biological sisters, their personalities are vastly different. Dà ài is like a tomboy, sturdy and unbeatable, while Xiǎo ài is gentle and quiet, always speaking with her head down, not daring to look at people.

  Xiao Buzhi nodded, the smallest one with yellow curly hair. His family was very poor and we all knew he rarely had enough to eat, so he gave himself half a box of cookies.

  In the past, cookies were in iron boxes. After we finished eating the cookies and sugar, several children's emotions also fermented out. Xia Ai cried, Da Ai scolded Xia Ai while wiping her own eyes, Er Lüzǐ was older after all, he hugged my shoulder and said, no matter where we go in the future, we are good friends.

  At that time, I don't know if I cried or not, but my heart was very painful. This scene is just like it happened yesterday. Although I was young, I also knew that parting was inevitable. Finally, I don't know who suggested it, we buried the cookie box and sugar paper under the tree, leaving an eternal memory.

  We found the tools and ran to the old locust tree in front of the ancient temple, dug a hole, and Da Ai suddenly said, "Why don't we write down our wishes and when we meet again in the future, we can see if they have come true?"

  This proposal received a response from everyone, and thus I saw this piece of paper.

  The characters above are crooked and twisted, some places have typos, some places use pinyin, but whoever wrote what words, I can see at a glance.

  "I hope I can become a ten-thousand-yuan household and never have to run around everywhere." This is definitely what Erzi's father would say, as he drives for others all year round without returning home, often saying that once he becomes a ten-thousand-yuan household, he won't work for others anymore. At that time, becoming a ten-thousand-yuan household was a very lofty goal for ordinary rural families.

  "I hope I don't have to do anything, just lying in bed is enough, and I don't have to worry about anything." No need to think, this laziness must be Xiao Pangdun's.

  "I hope I will be tall and big in the future, can grow to two meters, no, three meters." This was Xiaobudian's, at that time he crossed out two meters and wrote three meters, we all laughed at him, saying he could go play basketball, even shooting hoops would have to bend down.

  "Wishing myself eternal happiness." This is a great love, somewhat selfish.

  Then, it was my turn, and my proposal was so childish that it's laughable. I wrote "I hope to be forever young". The reason I wrote this is actually closely related to Da Ai (a Chinese actress). Although 5-6 year old kids don't understand what love is, at the time, I really liked following her around, and sometimes keeping pace with her, letting her know that I would always support her. So when she said she wanted to be forever happy, I said I wanted to be forever young. Then Er Duzi (a Chinese actor) started teasing me, asking me what being young means. After some thought, I remembered the most beautiful girl in our village, who shocked the whole village when she returned from outside at the age of 25.

  So I wrote down my hope: "I wish I could be forever young, forever twenty-five years old."

  Then it should be Xiaoyi's turn, but I couldn't see clearly. There was a water stain on the bottom that seemed to cover up Xiaoyi's words, or maybe she hadn't written anything at all.

  In short, I am blank below.

  Holding this piece of paper, I felt as if I had run into my past self. I sighed for half a day, lamenting how fast time flies. In the blink of an eye, it's been nearly twenty years since we last contacted each other.

  Even the best of friendships cannot withstand the test of time and distance.

  Now I can only remember their names, and it's almost impossible to contact them. How did they find me? Who sent this gift?

  I asked everyone who came yesterday, and no one admitted it. I thought maybe this was a surprise given to me by some kind-hearted friend.

  Since you don't acknowledge it, I'll just admit my feelings then. You've put so much thought into making me happy, and it's truly left me speechless with gratitude, all I can do is silently thank you.

  I carefully put the paper back into the iron box, and tucked it deep into my trunk. For me, this is a memory that will last forever, but can only be a memory.

  But it was wrong after all.

  This is not a memory, nor a gift, this is my destiny.

  No, this is my misfortune, it's my curse, it's my harbinger of death.