Chapter Twenty: Strolling Through the Kiln

  "Si Xi Tang?" Lu Biao looked at Huang Di with a hint of puzzlement, then raised his head to glance at the signboard. The facade of this shop was quite elegant, looking more like an academy than a restaurant. Huang Di nodded and asked, "How come you've never been here? Hehe, I've long heard its reputation, actually today is my first time coming too, let's take a look, it should be fun."

  "I've eaten four happy pills, what's Four Happiness Hall for, a place to eat pills?" Lu Biao asked. Huang Di smiled slyly: "There are pills, big pills, and two of them, hahaha, let's go."

  Two men stepped into the Four Joys Hall, where several people dressed like scholars stood at the entrance. As they approached, one of them came forward and asked: "Do you two gentlemen have a reservation?"

  "No, trouble you little brother to arrange it." Huang Di said, that bookworm held a fist and slightly bowed, leading Lu Bing and the two into the inner room. Lu Bing looked around, the rooms were all elegant, mostly decorated with green bamboo and white silk, each small room was very secluded. In the hall, there were several tables of refined men and women reciting poetry and writing essays. Lu Bing nodded: It seems that this Huang Di is still a high-class person, this place is high-end and upscale!

  That young man had a discerning eye, and it was clear that the two were dressed well, not like those who wanted to freeload. Huang Di hadn't even gestured before he proactively led them to a small partitioned area at the corner, which couldn't be seen from the outside but allowed a view of the hall's interior. After the two sat down on the soft cushions, the young man asked: "Do you need something?"

  "I'll have a few words with my brother, you go ahead and brew the Longjing tea first. Use the water from Hupao Spring, preferably the kind that's delivered overnight. And bring some of those eight-piece pastries too." Huang Di said, then casually handed the young man a silver ingot. The young man replied: "We settle accounts here."

  Huang Di nodded and said: "This is the tea money for troubling you, young brother. Don't decline it." The young brother thanked him repeatedly and bowed deeply before leaving.

  Lu Bing was somewhat surprised, it seemed that Huang Di's move was quite generous, not like a duck blood fan seller at all. The tiger run spring and the eight big ones he mentioned earlier were unheard of to himself. The tea and snacks came up after a while, Lu Bing looked even more foolish, the things in front of him were unrecognizable, only a few looked familiar, they were sold in supermarkets, but here they were made exceptionally fine, similar in shape but not in spirit. Lu Bing didn't dare to guess randomly for fear of losing face. Huang Di asked: "What are you thinking about, brother?"

  "What is Tiger Run Spring, what are the Eight Great Styles?" Lu Bing asked. Huang Di was slightly surprised and said: "No way, you haven't even heard of this? Brother, looking at your attire and demeanor, you should have seen a lot of the world, how could you possibly...?"

  Huang Di's careless words made Lu Bing somewhat embarrassed, Lu Bing forced a smile and said: "I don't know what you're talking about, do you know what Haagen-Dazs is? Do you know what Ice Snow Queen is? What is Starbucks?"

  Huang Di burst out laughing: "What I said earlier was nonsense, but what you just said is all Greek to me."

  "Just now my attitude was not quite right, Brother Huang please forgive me, mainly I was a bit embarrassed and ashamed, so I got angry. Lu Biao also admitted his mistake, Huang Di nodded: "You speak quickly and don't hide anything, it seems you consider me a friend, you're a genuine and straightforward good fellow, brother will treat you to a cup of tea instead of wine."

  After the two men had a drink, Huang Di said: "This Tiger Run Spring and Longjing are known as the West Lake Double Absolute, using Tiger Run Spring to brew Longjing tea is the most flavorful. Let's talk about this slowly later, we won't discuss it in detail here, let's wait until we have time to drink tea together again. As for the Eight Big Pieces, it's a nickname, the full name is Xuzhou Eight Big Pieces. Generally, when you go to a good restaurant outside, as long as you say 'Eight Big Pieces', others will know what you want to order. I'll roughly explain, it refers to Honey Three Knives, Strip Fried Dough, Sesame Slice, Sheep's Horn Honey, River Rice Stripe, Peanut Sugar, Golden Money Cake, and Osmanthus Sugar Cake these eight pieces. Now it's your turn, brother, what were those things you mentioned earlier?"

  "Huang Ge, brothers are not selling Guan Zi, it's really hard to explain, I'll just say that Haagen-Dazs is a kind of ice cream, that's... wait till I try to make it for you later, no, never mind, it's driving me crazy." Lu Biao said.

  Huang Di saw Lu Bing's expression of being at a loss for words and burst out laughing, saying: "Never mind, let's drink some tea to clear our stomachs, we'll eat soon. Don't eat too many pastries, we still have dinner later. Brother, you're really interesting, understanding things that others don't."

  "Huang Ge, this restaurant is quite special, hehe, not too formal, has some atmosphere." Lu Bing said with a sip of fragrant tea.

  Huang Di was taken aback for a moment before bursting out laughing: "Brother, you're really a good kid. This isn't just any restaurant, it's one of the famous brothels in Nanjing!"

  "What? Oh my god, no way! Ahhh, I'm going to die!" Lu Biao was shocked and lost for words, the tea in his cup spilled all over his pants. He quickly stood up and frantically wiped himself with his hands, completely flustered: "Huang Ge, how could you bring me to a brothel?"

  "How can you not, you're already so old and still haven't married a wife, if you marry one later it won't be convenient to visit brothels. Besides, we should pay attention to our words and speak more elegantly. To be accurate, this is called a Qing Lou, which is different from a Yan Zi, and not like those bitter laborer's brothels." Huang Di said calmly.

  Lu Bing sat down, clearing his throat. He had never understood the difference between a Qing Lou and a brothel before, and he hadn't expected to find himself in one today. In his mind, a Qing Lou should be a place with old madams fawning over customers, and pimps touting for business, but this place was clearly different. The elegant and refined atmosphere was as refreshing as a gentle breeze, without any of the gaudy noise.

  Lu Bing sat down and asked in a low voice: "Huang brother, what's the story with this brothel? Isn't it... isn't it... isn't it... just for fun?"

  "Are you a womanizer?" Huang Di asked with a smile, Lu Bing's face turned bright red as he nodded sheepishly. Huang Di lowered his voice and said, "The girls here are mostly selling their art, not their bodies. Look at the women downstairs, they look just like respectable ladies, wearing silk dresses, not the pants that prostitutes wear. They're actually courtesans. Hehe, they're just accompanying men for drinks, but they're selling their charm. Men are like this, they want to be teased and tempted, it's more exciting when they're half-hidden, half-revealed. If you just take off your pants and go at it, it's not as thrilling. They say they're selling art, not bodies, but in reality, if you look good, even if you don't pay, they might even give you a discount. Brother, with your looks, if you can recite a good poem, you can definitely entice these women."

  Lu Bing nodded as if he understood, thinking to himself that this was how those business nightclubs he had seen before made a profit. A wife is not as good as a concubine, a concubine is not as good as a prostitute, a prostitute is not as good as a thief, and a thief is not as good as one who gets away with it, that's all.

  Huang Di saw Lu Bing's gaze at himself was somewhat off, and hastily said: "I'm not here for these ordinary women, I'm here to see the dreams of the Four Joys Hall."

  "What's the dream fight? How can you still dream? Is there a hypnotist here?" Lu Bing said, not understanding. Huang Di shook his head and said: "The famous Dream Snow of Siji Hall, beautiful and charming, stunning and captivating..."

  "Hey, Brother Huang, be careful, you're drooling!" Lu Biao said to Huang Di, who then blinked and came back to his senses, looking embarrassed as he smiled. He reached out and rang the small bell on the table, and soon a bookish-looking "Turtle Master" rushed over. Huang Di ordered a few dishes and a pot of wine. When asked if they wanted any girls, Huang Di glanced at Lu Biao's shy face and subtly shook his head. The Turtle Master nodded knowingly and turned to leave. Lu Biao thought the man seemed refined earlier, but now he didn't seem like a scholar at all - there was even a hint of evil in his eyes. Lu Biao chuckled to himself, thinking that his own mind was playing tricks on him, making him look at people with colored glasses.

  The dishes were served quickly, just like dim sum, which made Lu Bing greatly admire. It turned out that Chinese food could be as fast as fast food. Ah, it seemed that the restaurants he had eaten at before were really a problem with their service attitude. The dishes were light but very delicious, and when you ate them, you couldn't help but feel a sense of elegance.

  "This dish is healthy to eat, a green and harmless product."

  "What's the meaning of this, how come you have so many new words in your mouth?" Huang Di and Lu Bing collided with a sip of wine.

  "It means that no pesticides were used, pesticides are for preventing insects and harm, but they're harmful to humans," Lu Biao hastily explained: "And also vegetables grown with ripening agents and other chemical substances. Ha ha, we've been eating gutter oil, Sudan red, and problematic milk powder since we were young, anyway, it's all good, it's like having a hundred poisons without being invaded. This is great, the vegetables grown with human waste are delicious." Lu Biao took a bite of the vegetable and smacked his lips as he spoke.

  Huang Di almost vomited, swallowed twice to suppress the acid in his stomach and said: "Brother, let me discuss something with you. You're dressed so clean and tidy, can't you avoid talking about such disgusting topics during meals?"

  "Sorry sorry, I'm used to being blunt, you'd be doomed if you ran into a fujoshi." Lu Biao said with a smile.

  The people in the hall who were originally reciting poetry quietly stopped and looked towards the middle of the floor where Lu Bing was standing. A young girl dressed in white, looking elegant and beautiful but also delicate and pale, walked out, holding a wooden tray with a white cloth covering it. Everyone's eyes turned to the girl, who said loudly: "Today's topic is plum blossoms. You will all listen in your rooms for the time of one incense stick. After one incense stick, you can start answering, and after another incense stick, the time will be up, and we will announce who can meet the master today. Poetry is not limited, let's begin now." As she spoke, the girl lifted the white cloth, revealing a plum blossom on the tray. A bookish-looking old man then placed an incense burner on the table in the hall, lit one incense stick.

  Lu Biao saw that the eyes of all the men in the hall had lit up, and they looked at Huang Di with incomprehension. Huang Di also shook his head slightly and said: "It seems that everyone is not an ordinary person who can see the dream. Usually, it's the guests who choose the girls, but coming to Siji Hall, it's the girls who choose the guests. It's really interesting. You have to make poetry and lyrics too, brother, are you up for it?"

  Lu Biao shook his head, and Huang Di chuckled and said: "Then let's just drink, it seems that we won't be able to see Meng Da today."

  A stick of incense was soon burned out, and the tortoise gentleman replaced it with another one. The time for reciting poems had arrived, and there were still many guests in the hall who were reciting like Lu Bing Huang Di, some were just neat and tidy, while others were quite elegant but inevitably fell into clichés. After all, plum blossoms have been sung by ancient people since ancient times, and it's always the same old thing. However, most of them were sour and meaningless poems. The tortoise gentleman transcribed the guests' recitations on his notebook and also recorded the position where each guest was seated.

  As the incense was about to burn out, Huang Di suddenly stood up and recited: "With Mei Ruo's blood, it's a tragic fate, but in reality, her bones are chilled by the cold wind. Again, Mei Ruo's snowy weakness is weak, how can one know that inside she's as calm as a mountain? The more one shows off their skills to guests, the less ink there is in their chest. Why not try writing a poem, and be a true hero between heaven and earth?" After finishing, Huang Di shook his head with deep meaning, burst out laughing, raised his cup and drank it all in one gulp, and said to Lu Bing: "I've made a fool of myself, I've made a fool of myself! Brother Lu, how about you? Can you come up with a poem too?"

  The people in the hall glared at Huang Di, who had just recited a poem that was clearly satirizing the corrupt Confucian scholars present. Lu Bing was momentarily stirred up, but he didn't have the literary talent to compose such a poem. In his opinion, Meng Lin's classical Chinese books were still difficult for him to read fluently, let alone write poetry. Suddenly inspired, he thought of a poem and decided that since no one would recognize it anyway, he might as well plagiarize it.

  Lu Bing also stood up, raised his cup and invited Huang Di to say: "Since Brother Huang didn't learn from the Confucian scholars and came up with a poem like this, I'll come up with a ci, but it's not very proper, please don't laugh."

  "It doesn't matter, who dares to laugh at you," Huang Di said, lowering his voice and saying: "Who dares to laugh at you, I'll fight him."

  The two exchanged a knowing smile, and without another word, began to recite: "Wind and rain send spring away, flying snow welcomes spring's arrival. Already on the hundred-foot cliff of ice, there are still beautiful flowers. The beauty doesn't compete with spring, it just reports the coming of spring. When the mountain flowers bloom profusely, she laughs in the midst."

  Huang Di took a deep breath, paused for a moment, and then bowed his fist, saying: "I didn't expect Brother Lu Xiao to have such great talent. I only thought you had a broad face and were someone worth befriending, but I didn't think you were also a man of great artistic talent. I was rude to you earlier."

  Lu Bing felt very embarrassed, originally it was just plagiarizing Chairman Mao's poetry, how could he accept such praise from others, he could only clench his fists and return with a humble attitude, but then someone in the hall shouted: "What nonsense are you two talking about? You dare to show off this kind of rustic and village-like poem with wrong words here, hum, it's really ridiculous."

  Lu Bingxin said, "If you put this in the 1970s, it would be enough to get you shot." Huang Di was also very angry and just wanted to scold someone, but he saw that the door of a room on the second floor had opened, and the beautiful girl who had come out earlier walked out, bowed to Lu Bingxin and Huang Di, saying: "Two gentlemen, Mr. Meng invites you."

  The hall was in an uproar.