Chapter 44: A One-Sided Duel

  It is recorded in the "Supplement to the History of the Later Tang: Unofficial Anecdotes of the Tianbao Era" that when the emperor's carriage encountered difficulties while traveling west, ... the enemy general suddenly approached, wounding countless people, and the crowd was greatly shocked. ... Only [he] remained calm and fearless, slowly striking and knocking him down, saying "What a big hammer!"

  In fact:

  "What a huge hammer!" Just as my legs softened and bent, it swept past my forehead by a hair's breadth, the rolled-up fierce wind was so strong that it made my scalp ache, hitting another poor guy, red and white splashing everywhere. In the blink of an eye, he flew backwards and disappeared without a trace. No time to be afraid, I lifted my legs and continued to run wildly.

  At that time, I saw him with a body like an iron tower, a shiny bald head and a small braid at the back of his head, a ferocious face like a blind bear, his uncle's big black frame, stepping in the footsteps of prehistoric giant carnivores, shaking the iron leaves to make a loud noise. With a dark wolf-toothed club, he made a sound like a beast howling, with a momentum that could destroy dry wood and withered trees, those brave soldiers were like broken paper walls, crushed, smashed, knocked, and blown away, every time he shouted loudly, there would be several people rolled up and flew out with broken hands and feet. I even had the strange feeling of observing him. This club must be a good thing, it has smashed so many heads and bodies as if there was no obstacle, its sharp teeth were not damaged, and even the blood stains did not stick much to it. In his other hand, he held a small silver hammer with a chain, about the size of a small watermelon, every time the white light flashed, someone would be blown away like flowers blooming everywhere.

  The great camp was in disarray, and the scene behind the commander-in-chief was one of chaos. The archers were also frantic with anxiety, bursting forth with unprecedented bravery, disregarding the disparity in strength, and charging forward with tragic valor, not a single one retreating. Several people surrounded and struck at one person, using bows and even bare hands to tear and bite, clumsily using bowstrings to strangle and arrow shafts to stab. Some even hugged their opponents and rolled down the mountain slope, crashing into each other until they were covered in blood. The two sides clashed again, both suffering heavy casualties, causing the enemy's already meager combat strength to rapidly dwindle to just a few men. A newly assembled relief force, led by the remaining high-ranking officers, hastily pursued and caught up, merging into a single chaotic battle.

  The last of the dozen or so soldiers rushed up to him, firing simultaneously at point-blank range, but were blocked by his remaining subordinates who fought hard to protect him. He pushed away the hedgehog-like soldier beside him, and the only one that got through didn't seem to cause him any harm, instead provoking a fierce beast-like ferocity. With several swift steps, he charged towards the soldiers trying to pull out their swords, sweeping them aside like paper cutouts. Turning around, he entered the fray as if no one was there, hammering away at the reinforcements, killing with abandon. In an instant, he had forced his way right in front of me.

  The feeling of facing death for the first time was so close to me, and in an instant, a cold killing intent caught me off guard, I even lost the strength to turn around and escape. Seeing him raise his fist...

  The troops on the battlefield saw a small team of cavalry rushing into their central army like a broken bamboo, stunned for a moment and then launched a crazy attack from all directions on the enemy who had formed a ball. Some soldiers who were closest even abandoned their opponents who were in the midst of a fierce battle and rushed over to join in the fight.

  I didn't expect that my habit of not wearing armor because it's too heavy would save my life. The military uniform I had been wearing for days was also changed into casual clothes due to Xiao Bai's "evil deeds", and from head to toe, there was nothing that could be associated with the identity of a general, so I was treated as an unimportant nameless soldier, not worth bothering with.

  But another person next to me wasn't so lucky, only a piercing sound was heard, I hugged my head and rolled sideways, just seeing that the unlucky egg in bright armor didn't even have time to cry out miserably, like a whistling shell blasting through the wooden wall of the camp, several trees were knocked down with a loud crash.

  My hands and feet went limp with fright, my face turned white, I turned around and ran away. Silently sighing for this brother, it's really unjust. Although the Central Plains are famous for producing iron armor, such as this handmade, finely textured, and intricately patterned silver-plated soft armor, on the battlefield, it's even more eye-catching than those transparent and shiny silver armors of the Feathered Forest Army. At a glance, you can tell that your status is not low, clearly making you my scapegoat.

  Those brave warriors used their lives and bodies to buy me a moment of time. I, who was still in shock, managed to escape into the commander's tent, only to find that there were still people inside.

  Earlier, seeing the critical situation, I didn't hesitate to shout and scold, adding kicks and strong orders to force the officials who had no fighting power to retreat quickly with Xiao Bai from behind the account, to find the Dragon Guards who protected the Emperor. Who knew they would misunderstand, probably thinking that I had a heroic and selfless heart, and they were so moved that they vowed to advance and retreat with me, until I was exhausted and spoke a lot of nonsense as the main general, unable to lead by example, kill the enemy on the battlefield, and escape in a hurry, abandoning my subordinates without regard for the great righteousness. After much persuasion, I finally managed to shoo away this group of foolish and burdensome people.

  But Xiao Bai ran back again, saying that the imperial order was tied to the monitor, and he couldn't leave his post without permission. What are those guys eating? If you get into trouble, I won't be able to mix it up either. Do I still need your help? In my heart, I scolded this idiot, and this dragon-patterned golden-edged yellow shirt was the most deadly thing.

  All of a sudden, there was a loud crash, and the deadly planet at the back had already solved the resistance of the scattered Yu Hou and the number of soldiers outside, and rushed in. The thick and strong wooden stakes in front of him seemed as fragile as wheat straws. The big hammer fell on the fortifications, causing wood chips to fly everywhere. What a terrible force! It directly broke out a huge gap in the fence, followed by...

  I had no time to react, my instincts dragged him out of the tent, and from behind me came the angry roar of that guy who couldn't find anyone and was wreaking havoc. I quickly took off this set of clothes, and with one kick, I rolled the dazed and unwilling-to-leave Xiao Bai into a thicket. A whistling sound cut through the air, and I barely dodged a flying hammer. The yellow shirt was still in my hand when I realized I was already facing the biggest trouble - after this commotion, he had set his sights on me.

  What's even more deadly is that Xiao Bai just told me that the emperor, who suddenly came out to conquer, is nearby. He's here to pass on a message, telling me to go and protect him, I'm going to faint, isn't this looking for death? If something happens to this emperor, I won't be able to mix anymore, and that crown prince will be very happy to take over the host in a logical manner, and use the name of failing to protect him to tear me into pieces as a sacrifice to mourn his father, as a prelude to his ascension to the throne. If something happens to Xiao Bai, I'm still the scapegoat for not protecting her. But then again, I think of Xiaoyi's big eyes floating up.

  My blood rushed to my head, and I suddenly felt a sense of relief. I imitated the scene from "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" and shouted loudly, "You scoundrel, dare you fight me?" I grabbed the remaining mutton chop from last night's dinner and slammed it onto his bald head. Only to see oil splattering everywhere, as if nothing had happened, but successfully provoking his anger. As a result, it has caused my biggest trouble now.

  So I started a desperate escape plan around the campsite, and he chased after me relentlessly. If it weren't for my curved path dodging into the woods and blocking his line of sight, I would have been blown to kingdom come by his flying hammer. All I saw was the grass and trees behind me falling down one after another, like a typhoon had passed through, as this human-shaped violent dragon cleared a path. Another whistle, and a tree trunk as thick as a bucket split open, its bark and wood shavings flying everywhere, collapsing with a loud crash, leaving me trembling in fear. I thought that if I could just delay for a while, the imperial army and guards would come to my rescue, but who knew this guy would still have so much energy to run with me? Moreover, I found myself running around without any sense of direction, how would others find me? Would I really end up fleeing in disarray on some unknown mountain ridge?

  Suddenly, I saw a vast expanse before my eyes, with pots and pans scattered all over the ground. He had run to the back of the kitchen! I didn't dare to be too happy, and with a thrilling cry, he flew past me in a straight line, bringing with him a series of screams, clattering sounds, crashing sounds, shattering sounds, and a loud "Boom!" accompanied by a painful wail. I turned around, overjoyed, only to see that his left foot was stuck in a broken pot. It turned out that he wasn't as agile as I thought, and had stepped on the "landmine" that was the cooking stove, but after a few quick rabbit hops, he kicked it away, only to storm back, furious, and with several loud crashes, sent the baskets of vegetables flying everywhere. Scared, I could only continue running!

  I don't know how far I ran, my vision was blurry from being chased, my lungs were like a broken cotton-filled bellows, I couldn't catch my breath, my hands and feet felt like they were filled with lead, I just wanted to collapse on the ground and play dead. Suddenly, there was a shout of "Kill!", it was Yuwen's troops who had been left behind, they swarmed in from another direction, densely packed, before I could even catch my breath, leaning against a tree trunk like a dead dog, a figure burst out of the crowd, like a whirlwind, and screams filled the air as red and white objects that looked like human bodies flew out. These Northern Army guys were hiding behind, they didn't know how formidable this guy was, all they saw was that their main general was alone, so they thought they could take advantage of him, naturally, they suffered a great defeat.

  And although the rescue has arrived, their words have put me in a desperate situation again - "Protect General Totem", I cursed these pig-headed idiots, harming me or saving me, isn't this clearly telling them that killing me would solve all problems? Sure enough, his eyes lit up, and with one big move, he swept away the people in front of him, the others were intimidated by his power and stunned, a flying hammer flew over the crowd and came at me again, I dodged.

  Just as the fight was about to start, another group of people shouted "Sir, I'm here to help you!" and turned around to see that it was the army's chef and kitchen staff, holding all sorts of pots and pans that were clanging loudly. With a loud shout, they charged forward, and in an instant, pots, bowls, and basins flew through the air, splashing water and rice everywhere. The soldiers were shocked and dodged to avoid being hit, but were still pummeled with a barrage of cookware, getting completely drenched and disoriented. In the chaos, they didn't even notice me slipping away, and I thought to myself that I must reward these guys for their help.

  This delay allowed the remaining soldiers to take advantage of the situation and rush forward again. Although several were knocked down, they managed to get close and stabbed him viciously several times. He let out a loud roar in pain, and with another powerful swing of his windmill-like arms, he sent the rifles that had been thrust at him flying, breaking them into pieces. Wiping away whatever was on his face with one hand, he charged towards me again. Amidst the clanging sounds, he was hit by many unseen flying objects. The shattered porcelain and broken dishes became increasingly sparse.

  I shouted "Is that all?" and saw two men hastily carrying a large pot of boiling hot water, rushing over. I shouted in approval, one, two, three pots were smashed to the ground, right in front of me. The people around us scattered in all directions, but he didn't see it coming, another loud crash, and he was drenched from head to toe. For a moment, steam filled the air, and his cries of pain echoed through my ears. When I took a closer look, his "face was glowing red", and his exposed skin had turned a healthy pink color.

  It's too exaggerated that you're not dead yet, with a head full of flying debris and blood flowing non-stop, and there are still scattered gunheads on your body, but the speed is still incredibly fast. I'm exhausted from chasing after him, what kind of monster is this guy?