Chapter 35: Memories Triggered by Photos (Part 2)

  Zhao Zhibang was really tired, and he lay on the "bed" with tears in his eyes, soon falling asleep. However, after lying down for a while, he heard intermittent sobbing sounds. At first, he thought it was just a dream, but after listening for a while, he realized that the crying sound was indeed coming from the Li family's living room. He suddenly lost all sleepiness and sat up.

  "It's all you, it's all your fault, now it's all good... Wuuu... wuuu... wuuu..." Zhao Zhibang finally understood that it was Li Guangmao's wife who was crying, and she seemed to be blaming her husband for something he did wrong.

  "How can you be so unreasonable?!" Zhao Zhibang heard this and his heart skipped a beat, thinking to himself: "I wonder if they're fighting because of me?"

  "How did I become unreasonable? Isn't it you who always says this and that to the child, would he be like this? It's all your fault, you let Jing Zhuang join the army, I didn't stop him. Now Jing Zhuang has been gone for so long without any news, Jing Zhong is still just a child, so young... Waaahhh... I only have these two sons, China has so many people, why do both of my sons have to go fight in the war?!"

  "This 'fine' young man enlisting is his own decision, and what's wrong with me teaching my child to love the country? I, Li Guangmao, may be just a rustic farmer, but I understand the principle of 'the country prospering, every individual has responsibility'. I'm delighted to have two sons like this. You... you're simply being overly sentimental..."

  "You're too cruel, they are my flesh and blood, if you don't care, I do as their mother." The woman said, then started crying again.

  "Alright, alright... Is that all? If 'Jing' is willing to go to the battlefield and kill devils, that's his choice. Our son has grown up and has his own thoughts now, we should respect their choices. Even if both of them die on the battlefield in the future, it will be an honorable death. I, Li Guangmao, will also be proud of them." Li Guangmao's scolding made his wife's crying much softer, but she was still sobbing quietly.

  At this time, Zhao Zhibang finally knew the reason for their quarrel. Just now, when he was chatting with Li Guangmao, he already knew that he had two sons. The eldest son, Li Jingzhuang, is 22 years old this year and has been married for three years. His wife is the daughter of a silk fabric shop owner in the neighboring town. The eldest daughter-in-law brought their two-year-old grandson back to her mother's house today. After the outbreak of the war of resistance this year, Jingzhuang joined the army with several young men from the same village. Originally, based on the family background of Li's and his father-in-law's families, he could have used some money to find someone to replace him in military service. However, Jingzhuang, who had read high school and was considered a cultured person at that time, insisted on joining the army. Except for his mother and mother-in-law, who disagreed, his father, father-in-law, wife, and even his younger brother, who was studying abroad, all supported him and wrote letters back to persuade his older brother to go to the battlefield to protect the country. However, after that, there was no news from him at all.

  Li Jingzhong, the 15-year-old son of Li, has been studying in the city. Since the outbreak of the Sino-Japanese War, he has been clamoring to join the army, but this would certainly not be agreed upon by his parents. Listening to Li Guangmao and his wife's words, Zhao Zhibang knew that Li Jingzhong must have secretly joined the army without telling his parents.

  The next day, before dawn, Zhao Zhibang quietly got out of bed. He had wanted to bid farewell to Li Guangmao and his wife, but thinking about what he said the previous day, he felt ashamed. Although Li Guangmao hadn't suspected anything, Zhao still felt he couldn't face this Chinese man who was as old as his father and had a strong sense of justice. Feeling embarrassed, he quietly left. From then on, he found direction in his heart. Li Guangmao's words made him think of his father, knowing that although his father didn't say it out loud, he still hoped Zhao could go to the battlefield. He had thought about enlisting before, but at that time, he didn't have the courage to leave his family behind. Later on, he should have realized this, especially after listening to Lei Zhengsheng's words, but at that time, his eyes were blinded by hatred.

  It was for this reason that the 51st Army's new recruit training regiment became his first stop after leaving Beiping, and it also became a new turning point in his life.

  From the moment he saw Li Weiguo for the first time, he felt very familiar, but couldn't remember where he had seen him before. Now, looking at the photo of Li Weiguo, no, it should be Li Jingzhong, he suddenly remembered that he had seen this photo in a frame on the wall of Li Jingzhong's room when he was staying with the Li family. Looking at the childish face of Li Jingzhong in the photo, Zhao Zhibang thought of his own mother, that woman whose name he didn't even know. He couldn't imagine what Li Jingzhong's mother would be like if she knew about her son's death.

  He hated himself for not being able to protect Li Jingzhong well, and even more so because he had let him lose his young life. Thinking of Li Guangmou's eyes, thinking of that bowl of steaming noodles, he really wanted to slap himself a few times. He felt like crying but it was as if something was stuck in his throat. He was angry with himself for not being able to shed a single tear at this moment. He hated himself even more and deepened his hatred towards those Japanese beasts.

  "Zhi Bang, let's take a look... The little guy has been buried..." Zhang Da Mao said while giving Li Lian Sheng a signal with his eyes. Then the two of them helped Zhao Zhi Bang up from the ground and walked towards the hillside where Li Jing Zhong was buried.

  Because only Li Jingzhong was sacrificed in the battle at night, the soldiers buried him alone next to the people who were buried during the day and piled up a small mound. Everyone silently watched as the three of them walked step by step closer.

  Zhao Zhibang didn't say a word, and sat down silently at the head of Li Jingzhong's grave, holding a handful of dirt that he scattered on his small mound. Zhang Damao waved his hand, and everyone followed him out of the trenches, leaving only Zhao Zhibang still there in a daze.

  He glanced at Li Jingzhong's grave and then looked around at the graves of dozens of comrades-in-arms, and this time Zhang Quanqi's face appeared vividly in his mind. He thought of Zhang Quanqi's last words before leaving the world, thought of Li Guangmao and his wife, thought of Lei Zhengsheng, thought of his own father, mother, younger sister, and that lovely son, and of course, his wife with whom he had once sworn to be together till death. He sat on the ground, tightly grasping a handful of dirt, his teeth biting hard into his lip, blood flowing out, but he didn't feel any pain, only hatred, a hatred beyond anything before, a hatred that had never been felt before.