Act 1 Scene 7

  Gently stroking the gun in my hand, it's so light, so light. Shan Xiong and the others are afraid I'll do something stupid, they've already taken away the magazine, all the things in the house that could be used to harm myself have also been taken away by them.

  It's been almost two months since I left OuYang, my injury is almost healed and my body has recovered very well. The doctor said that I won't have any aftereffects either.

  Yesterday, the mountain bears finally came back, a group of them walked in, but only half of the people returned. When Mountain Bear handed me back the gun he had given to Ouyang before she left, I thought he was joking and waited for Ouyang to suddenly jump out from behind him, and then the two of them would burst into laughter together, telling me they were just scaring me. But nothing happened, she didn't jump out, and Mountain Bear didn't laugh either.

  As I angrily grabbed the mountain bear's collar and questioned him, wasn't it said that you would bring me back without even a single hair missing? He just walked away silently, not saying a word. I don't know if I cried at that time, nor do I know how I walked back to the hospital room. I really don't know.

  Gently picking up Ouyang's photo, she still looks so lovely and is smiling, her smile so bright. A drop, two drops, tears slowly fall from my eyes, gently dripping onto her photo. "Sorry, sorry, I dripped on your face. Don't be mad, okay? Look, I'll wipe it clean for you, just like how you helped me wipe away my tears back then. You look so beautiful when you smile. Now I understand why you brought me to that dark staircase back then. I get it now, sorry. You know, my hand can move freely now, and today I even beat up Shan Xiong. Don't say anything about not using violence, I know you hate it. Is that right? You're smiling again after just a few compliments. I still haven't asked you where the fragrance on your body comes from. Tell me, okay? After the war ends, I'll go buy some for you. You said we'd get married once the war is over, but I couldn't wait any longer. We had even set up our new home already. Don't laugh at me, don't laugh! I know I'm not rich and the army didn't give me a house, but the hospital agreed to lend us their room for our wedding. Shan Xiong and your sisters in the hospital said they'd throw us a big celebration when we get married. After we're married, I'll take you to my hometown, it's so beautiful there. In autumn, the whole mountain is filled with red apples. You can come to my family's orchard and pick some with me, they're so sweet. Say something, please? Don't just smile at me like that, okay? I know you're laughing at me for crying again. Look, I'm smiling now, haha! Listen, I'm laughing so loudly." But halfway through his laughter, he realizes he can no longer make a sound. "Right, I've been waiting for your return to tell you those three words I never said: I love you. Respond to me, please? Please forgive me for saying it too late, but I know you can hear me. Don't just smile at me like that, say something! Even if it's scolding me for being a fool, okay? Don't ignore me, please? You once said you hoped your soldier could protect you. Look, my injuries are all healed now, and the doctor says I'll be discharged in another week. Then I can protect you, okay? For two months now, I haven't been by your side, and you must have had a hard time. Shan Xiong is such an idiot and wouldn't know how to take care of a girl like you. Don't laugh at me, I know I wouldn't either, but I know you'll teach me, right? Don't just smile at me like that, say something! I know you're mad at me for not saying 'I love you' earlier. But now I've said it, why won't you respond to me? Please forgive me, please say something! I really, really love you so much... without you, these two months have been so hard to bear. I love you, please say something!" By this point, he can no longer speak and can only stare at her smile, sitting on the bed crying silently.

  I finally stopped crying and gently picked up the letter she wrote to me, the only one she ever wrote. I carefully unfolded it, afraid of accidentally tearing it apart.

  "I don't know if I should call you Ji or Kun. Never mind, I'll just call you Ji. This is my first time writing a letter to you, so please don't laugh at me if it's not well-written. We've arrived at our destination and it's very quiet here, but sometimes there are air raids. I'm not allowed to say anything else or it will be deleted.

  Let's talk about you instead. You still haven't told me 'I love you'. But I'll forgive you this time and tell you first: I~love~you. Remember that! It was me who said it first.

  That idiot Shan Xiong said he would protect me, but he can't even carry a suitcase properly. When we get back, you have to help me deal with him. He says you won't touch him, but I don't believe it. We'll take care of him together when we get back.

  I haven't told you what we'll do after the war is over. First, we'll get married! We'll invite Shan Xiong and my sisters, as well as my parents. And don't even think about giving me a cold reception!

  After we're married, you have to leave the army immediately and I'll quit my job at the hospital. We'll open a store together - how about a flower shop? Ha! You must be thinking that you're allergic to pollen, but don't worry, I was just teasing you. A big man like you can't possibly be allergic to pollen!

  Okay, let's open a gift shop instead. And when we do, I'll be the boss lady and you can be my delivery boy.

  I've written enough for now. Shan Xiong is calling me, so I have to go. One last thing: you must look very handsome with long hair... don't argue with me about it! I know that in the army, you're not allowed to have long hair, but you can grow it out after you leave.

  Goodbye for now, and remember to write back to me! And really, this is the last thing: you look so good when you smile, so please smile more often!"

  As I looked at the letter, her voice and laughter seemed to appear before my eyes. I didn't know what to do, so I just kept crying until I was exhausted, then fell asleep. When I woke up, I held her photo and continued talking to her.

  "Good morning! You see, on the day you left, my military merit badge arrived, it's a 2nd class honor! I'm sure you'll be very happy when you see it. The commander also said that I've been commended throughout the army, and now many snipers want to switch to anti-material rifles, it seems like they're almost emptying out the warehouse. Many soldiers also want to become snipers, and the sniper instructors are smiling so hard their mouths can't close. I also mentioned our wedding plans to the commander, don't blush! The commander smiled and said that he'll personally host our wedding ceremony, isn't your husband's face going to be saved? When you get back, we'll go thank him together. And when you get back, I have many more plans that I haven't told you about yet. Do you know? You're the one who helped me regain my confidence, but why did you heartlessly throw me off a cliff again, why!!!"

  "Shut up, you!" Just as I loudly asked Ouyang why he had ruthlessly abandoned me, a sudden roar of a mountain bear was heard, followed by a fist that grew bigger and bigger in front of my eyes.

  When I woke up again, what I saw was a face full of concern. "You'd better perk up quickly, do you know that? You're like this, and Xiao Feng won't be at ease when she leaves either!" This was the loud roar of Shan Xiong.

  "Wang Kun, are you okay? Sister Ouyang will be heartbroken if she sees you like this." The speaker was a nurse who usually had a good relationship with Ouyang. Before she could finish speaking, she had already burst into tears on her colleague's shoulder.

  "Wang Kun, you're a man, aren't you? Wipe away your tears and go into battle to avenge Xiao Feng. What's the point of crying like this? You're not only letting down the medals on your chest, but also my expectations of you." Even the leader who personally awarded me the medal at the time had arrived.

  "Mountain bear, you bastard, what did you say to me in the letter? Ah~ What did you say to me when we set off? Ah~ You bastard, not a single hair will be lost, not one. This bastard, trash, idiot, damn it, indeed not a single hair is lost, but the person is gone, what's the use of having hair?" I grabbed Mountain Bear's collar and roared loudly in his ear, the people around us seemed to be stunned, no one came to stop me, all I saw was Mountain Bear's face getting redder and redder.

  The mountain bear yanked open the hand I had grasped on his collar, and with another punch, he slammed me back onto the bed. "You think I want to?! I also want to protect her!! You damn idiot, all you know is howling here with me! I didn't protect her well, I should die, it's not enough for me to die yet!! It's a man's job, come down and fight, don't cry like a woman!" His roar in my ear further stimulated my already battered heart.

  "Damn it, I'll accompany you today." As soon as he roared out loud, he had already jumped up from the bed and punched Shan Xiong into the wall corner.

  "Alright, let's fight." The mountain bear got up from the corner of the wall and shook off the people who were trying to pull him up, then charged at me again and we wrestled together.

  "Your kid's fist is really ruthless, ouch! You just punched me in the face!" The mountain bear lying on the bed next to me was saying. It was already the second day, and we had fought too fiercely yesterday, even people who wanted to intervene were knocked aside by our punches. Even the chief, whose face was also punched, couldn't take it anymore, called over the military police to pin us down, then had the hospital administer a sedative before separating us.

  I quietly looked at the ceiling and said, "Mountain bear, actually, I don't blame you."

  "Ah, no wonder I'm still fighting with you so fiercely? If you blame me, I think you won't be satisfied until you shoot a hole in my head."

  "I know you don't believe me, actually, I don't blame you, I've figured it out too, it's all because of this damn war." I'm still staring at the white ceiling above my head, spotless, without a speck of dust.

  "Brother, I'm really sorry to you." Yama Kuma apologized to me in a low voice.

  "Never mind, I understand. Bring my gun and equipment tomorrow, and also, Xiaofeng's belongings." I instructed Shanyin calmly, thinking of the things he was going to help me with.

  "What's wrong, want to kill yourself?"

  "I want to clean the gun."