Chapter 28

  Foreword: Happy Valentine's Day to all friends who have read my book.

  Enjoy, Valentine's Day special chapter

  Gently put the cigarette in hand to mouth, take a deep breath... Ah~ Eyes watch the blue smoke coming out of own mouth, slowly rising into the air, slowly...

  Now I'm sitting on the cold concrete floor at the top of the hospital building, my body leaning against the railing behind me, and my feet dangling in mid-air. Looking down, this building has only two floors, and I'm sitting outside the railing on the rooftop. If I were to fall from here...I'd probably just break a leg, or maybe something even worse. Thinking about that, I lift my head up and gaze at the stars above me, take another drag of my cigarette, followed by a deep breath, then slowly exhale the smoke circulating in my lungs into the air...

  "Come on, standing for so long, aren't you tired?" After standing still for a while longer, I casually threw the cigarette butt downstairs without turning my head and said these words. 'Let's consider it an invitation from her.'

  "Do you still want to hide? Do I need to call out your name?" After waiting for a while, the ears didn't hear any footsteps coming from behind, only a slightly heavy breathing. "Is it because I found you that you're nervous?" The self in his heart said, and could only helplessly invite the person behind him again.

  After a few minutes, there were light footsteps behind me, as if afraid of disturbing the tranquility here. My ears listened to the footsteps getting closer and closer, stopping at the railing I was leaning against, and then a hand rested on my shoulder. "If I push you down from here, do you think anyone will find out?" Her voice also reached my ears.

  "What do you think?" As he spoke, he casually pulled out a cigarette, put it in his mouth, lit it, and took a deep drag.

  "I don't know, I want to hear your answer." The hand on my shoulder had increased its pressure, as if urging me to take one of my hands off the railing behind me. But I didn't do that, instead I remained seated there, one hand holding a cigarette and the other placed on my own chest.

  "You'll know once I push you down." Without noticing the increasingly heavy hand on my shoulder, I only said this sentence from my mouth. I heard my own voice, with no emotions inside, cold, low and deep...

  "Has anyone ever told you that your voice sounds nice?" The hand on my shoulder had given up increasing its strength, and instead gently rested on my shoulder.

  As I listened to her words, I remembered what Ouyang had said to me before: "Do you know? Your voice sounds good, with a hint of sadness in it." "A hint of sadness, is that so?" I thought of Ouyang's words and softly asked the person behind me this question.

  "Yes, can you tell me who it was that spoke with you?" The person behind me was still curious, wanting me to say something in person.

  "Ouyang Shuang, you should know her."

  "I knew, but she's already gone, didn't you know?" The person behind him fell silent for a moment before asking this question.

  "That's your idea, Ouyang, you will always live in my heart."

  The people behind me fell silent again, I didn't speak, just quietly waiting for her response. When I couldn't help but throw away the cigarette butt that had burned my hand, I heard her voice by my ear, "Living in your heart? Do you still have other positions in your heart?" I can hear doubt and expectation from this sentence.

  "There is one." After saying these three words, he paused for a moment. I could feel the hand on my shoulder suddenly tightening, even causing me pain. "I've already put the bear in that location." He casually threw out an answer, and I could sense the sudden deathly silence behind me.

  "Have you heard a song?" I couldn't help myself and broke this oppressive silence that made me feel suffocated.

  "What song?" The faint voice came from behind me and reached my ears.

  "My heart has long been a dark abyss, nothing can ignite it. I only have a single teardrop in the corner of my eye, how can it illuminate this world? My hatred for you has slowly diminished, but my love for you remains immeasurable. Between forgiveness and despair, I wander aimlessly, with only one feeling - pain... I thought you gave me a glimmer of hope, but when I reached out, it was just an icy iron window. If reality always teaches people to be more sorrowful, then let me continue dreaming in my memories. I thought I could fly happily from now on, but after waking up, it's still just the cold iron window. If reality can teach people to be braver, then let me wait for heaven in hell..." He didn't answer her question, instead using his hoarse voice to softly hum this song, a 10-year-old old song, very old, yet deeply etched into my soul.

  "A very sorrowful melody, although I don't dare to compliment your singing voice, but it sounds really good, a really good song." The person behind him didn't speak up until he had finished his own song and smoked half of his third cigarette, before her voice was heard.

  "I know I'm not cut out for singing." Hearing her words, I could only bitterly smile and admit that my singing was indeed bad.

  "It's as if you want to live in the memories of her, isn't it?" The person behind me finally understood what I meant, but still had some doubts, so they asked this question.

  "To Ouyang, I owe her too much, so much that it's unbearable. All I can do is use my entire life to make up for everything I owe her."

  As I spoke, I suddenly felt a cool sensation on the back of my neck. I knew it was tears, one drop at a time, falling onto my neck and then sliding down to my chest. At first, they still had some warmth, but as they reached my heart, all that was left was a cold, icy feeling, just like the temperature of my heart.

  No consolation was given, and I didn't even turn back, just quietly waiting for the person behind me to calm down. "Is it because of my past self?" The calmed-down person still asked this question with an unyielding heart.

  "No, I admit it, you were really annoying back then. I'm not sure if the you now is because you've genuinely changed or whatever, I don't know and I don't want to know." A soft murmur that wasn't quite an answer escaped her lips.

  "Sorry, I accidentally overheard you talking to the mountain bear." The person behind me found it impossible to continue the conversation and immediately changed the subject, changing it so hard that I wanted to laugh.

  "I knew someone was on the side, but I didn't expect it to be you." The self in my ears heard this voice and felt very surprised, because at that time, the guess on the side shouldn't have been her.

  "Is that so? What you said to him made me think of many things I hadn't thought of before." The person behind her spoke in a voice devoid of surprise, and it echoed softly by her ear.

  The current self, doesn't know what to say, can only light up another cigarette, quietly waiting for her to break the silence. "A lifetime, a spring of grass and trees. Have you heard this phrase?" After a long time, the person behind finally spoke, unexpectedly, saying such words.

  "I've heard it all, I understand what you mean, no need to persuade me. A small grass comes into this world for the sake of reproducing offspring. As for humans, there are many purposes for coming into this world, some for power, some for love. I'm not interested in anything else, my love has already been found and I will protect her for life, even if it's just in my heart. My friendship has also been found and I will similarly guard it for life with my own life. Lastly, there is my hatred, I will use everything to fulfill the outpouring of my hatred. There is no room in my life for anything else." The words were spoken lightly, but whether they were a refusal or an oath was unknown, and then he fell silent once again.

  "Is it that your life can never accommodate others? Is it that you want to spend the rest of your life in solitude?" The person behind me still didn't give up, still wanted to prove my words wrong, and use them as an excuse to reject her.

  "Yes, you know? I'm a sniper, for us, there's only one chance. I've been lucky enough to get a second one, and it's the love that I can protect for my whole life." A light sentence, thoroughly shattered all her hopes, she could even hear the sound of her heart breaking behind her.

  "After talking to you for so long, I've understood a lot. Do you know what I've understood?" Her voice paused for a moment, as if waiting for my question, but I didn't ask anything and just quietly waited for her next words. Seeing that I didn't ask, she let out a soft sigh and continued with the rest of her unfinished sentence "When you left me and Shan Xiong behind, at that time I thought you were being heroic, trying to attract my attention. When you came back, I changed my mind, thinking you stayed behind to protect your brother. Now, after talking to you, I've come up with a final idea - that you simply don't care about your life, and you even wanted to die like that. Am I right?" Hearing her words, I couldn't help but want to shake my head, but in the end, it still tilted upwards, leaning against the railing, quietly gazing at the stars in the sky, just like Ouyang's eyes, bright and mysterious.

  "I admit, you're right. Sometimes, I wait for Ouyang to come pick me up, waiting for her to be lonely, and then take me over to accompany her..." The words escaped his lips as he gazed at the sky.

  "Is it......" Her words didn't finish, only said halfway, then turned into a murmur at the corner of her mouth.

  "Gao Lan Xin, do you know why I'm willing to tell you all this?" For the first time, her name was called out from his lips without any derogation or surprise, just a faint and gentle tone.

  "I don't know, I don't know why you, who originally disliked me, would say such things."

  "Some things, I'd rather tell you than the mountain bear. He wouldn't understand, and it would worry me. I can only talk to you because I think you'll get my meaning without overthinking it. You're a good girl, even if there are some things about you that annoy people. This place isn't for you, do you know? Go back, this place isn't for you. Your eyes, despite being worldly and arrogant, with many looking down on others, but at least they're clear and pure. Don't let the gunpowder and blood here taint them, take it as my advice to you, whether you listen or not." Still gazing up at the stars in the sky, still without turning back.

  The person behind him hadn't spoken for a long time... "I understand, about the rumors, I'll help you clear them up. I was originally going to find you to confirm it, but I heard what you and Shan Xiong said, now there's no need to confirm anymore, you're not that kind of person." A firm voice came from behind him, "Is it trust in me?"

  "It's getting late, go back to sleep. Let's consider this our last meeting today, and also as my farewell to you. As for the rumors, I have a clear conscience."

  "Well, I'm leaving..."

  "By the way, can I ask you for a favor?" He still didn't turn around, just calling out to stop her from leaving.

  "If there's anything I can do to help you, I certainly will." There was a hint of excitement in his voice.

  Shaking her head, regardless of whether her words would hurt her, she still said what she wanted to say, "When your father comes, help me. I want a three-day leave. I want to go see Ouyang."

  The people behind him didn't speak again, only a hurried footsteps came over, accompanied by a faint sobbing sound.

  I still haven't turned back, I'm still looking at the stars. "Ouyang, can you hear me? In a few days, it's really my last time to see you. Because, because I have a very bad premonition, if I go up there, I may not come back. At that time, remember to pick me up..."