Chapter Fifteen: Tears

  Text - Two

  Jie has left, we once fought side by side, but now he's gone forever. Jie has left... taking with him his proud smile of youth, the bitter hatred he harbored for three years while infiltrating the enemy camp, and the unyielding heart of a warrior that remained even after he shed his uniform!

  At this moment, everything in front of me is white and empty; my ears are quiet and silent. The chaotic battlefield seems to have calmed down all at once...

  Ah…… Ah…… But just for a moment, my mind returned to the battlefield and I started fighting again. I howled with anger and pain from losing my comrades, hugging my machine gun and shooting at anyone in sight. Whether it was the enemy or the government soldiers, they were all trying to dodge my bullets. The difference was that the enemy was firing back at me wildly while hiding, whereas the government soldiers were desperately protecting me. Tat tat tat... Tat tat tat... Click... My bullets ran out, but I, almost losing my sanity, continued to mechanically pull the trigger. The battle between the government and the cult troops quickly ended with a winner, and several government soldiers came over, intending to disarm me and subdue me. But my heart was full of murderous intent, and as soon as they touched my body, I instinctively pulled out the dagger from my military boot and started wildly swinging it at them. The soldiers dodged my attacks... looking for an opportunity to subdue me.

  I was dancing wildly with the dagger in my hand, shouting at the top of my lungs. Suddenly, I felt a strong kick on my back, and then I was slammed to the ground with a loud "thud". Three sturdy soldiers immediately pounced on me, one of them sitting on my back, pinning my neck down, while the other two held my arms tightly. I howled in pain, struggling desperately. "This soldier has gone mad, give him an injection of tranquilizer quickly!" one of the soldiers exclaimed to another. A soldier standing aside said: "The medic is not here now, where can we get a tranquilizer?" The soldier on top of me said: "Forget it, use this instead!" and with that, he slammed the butt of his rifle into my neck. With the force of the blow, everything went black and I fainted.

  I don't know how long it took, maybe seven or eight hours or even longer, but the sky had already completely darkened. I slowly woke up from my daze. In a confused state, I felt like I was in a field hospital ward. All around me were white walls, and on one of them hung a painting of early spring grass with dew drops glistening on it, looking fresh and lovely. The bed sheet was also white, and on top of it lay my dirty black self, with bandages wrapped around the wounds on my body. "Where am I?" I moved my body, trying to sit up, but couldn't succeed. Outside the window was a starless night sky, and all around me was quiet. I lay in bed, bored out of my mind, staring blankly at the white fluorescent light tube on the ceiling. After a while, the door opened, and a slender figure appeared before me. "You're awake, your injuries aren't serious, rest well and you'll be jumping around again in a few days." Before I could see her face clearly, she smiled and greeted me with a playful kiss.

  Her voice was really nice to hear, which made me unconsciously think of my own sister. She wore a crisp white nurse's uniform, her long hair neatly combed and casually draped over her back, with two long strands naturally tucked behind her ears, giving off a refreshing feeling. Looking at her sweet smile, I wanted to return the same smile, but after squeezing for half a day, I couldn't squeeze it out, so I could only stare blankly at her and nod my head. Hehe... Seeing my expressionless face, she smiled happily again. "Don't move while lying on the 'bed', do you feel better now?" She asked me with sparkling eyes, speaking softly to me. "Where is this place?" I asked in a low voice. She walked slowly to my side, changing my 'medicine' as she spoke: "This is our military's field hospital, it was our soldiers who brought you here." I tried hard to recall the entire battle process, but found that after the sudden sacrifice, my memory was completely blank, and I couldn't remember anything. She continued to speak gently to me: "When you were first brought in, your whole body was covered in blood, it was really scary, but fortunately, our doctor performed surgery on you, so now you can rest assured and recover here, I believe you'll get better soon!" Listening to her gentle words, my heart immediately felt a warm feeling, a strange sense of sadness rising from the bottom of my heart. After changing my 'medicine', she gently placed her slender soft hand on my forehead. "Hmm! The fever has gone down!" Just as her delicate hand touched my forehead, for some reason, my nose suddenly felt sour, and tears flowed uncontrollably from my eyes.

  My tears took her by surprise, and she asked me softly, "Why are you crying, iron warrior!" As she spoke, she gently sat down at the head of my 'bed', then slowly drew my head into her warm and gentle embrace. A refreshing fragrance immediately permeated my body. "War must have made you lose a lot, if crying can make you feel better, then cry to your heart's content!" She said softly to me.

  I was sobbing softly in her arms, just like when I was a kid and would run to my sister's arms after being wronged. She gently stroked my shaking shoulders and head, speaking softly to me: "Cry, let out all your grievances and pain!" My sobs grew louder, like a naughty child, crying loudly... unreservedly. At this time, the guards outside the hospital room heard the sobbing inside and immediately pushed open the door to investigate. She hastily waved her hand at the guards, indicating that everything was fine. The guards saw nothing out of the ordinary and left the room, closing the door behind them. Gradually, my sobs subsided, my head began to ache slightly, and I eventually fell asleep amidst my tears.

  The next day I woke up early and looked out the window at the swaying branches of the trees, vaguely remembering that I had cried in the arms of a female nurse the night before, but unsure if it was a dream or reality. As I was thinking about this, the door to my room opened and the sweet smile from my memories reappeared in front of me. "Good morning, soldier, how are you feeling today?" she asked with a smile. "I'm fine," I replied politely but still expressionless. She looked me up and down and said, "Hmm, you look like you're in good spirits. Do you want to eat or drink something? You need to replenish your nutrients after the surgery! Hehe..." After saying this, she smiled happily again. "Can...can I have some water?" I asked her politely. "Of course!" she said, pouring a glass of water and placing it in my hand.

  I took the cup and gulped down the water in two mouthfuls, then handed it back to her. "Thank you!" She stood beside me, smiling as she watched me finish the water, and said with a smile, "You're really quite reserved, soldier, do you need anything else?" Hmm... "No, thank you, but..." I recalled a scene from last night and hesitated. "But what?" she asked, her clear eyes sparkling with curiosity. After thinking for a moment, I replied, "Was it you last night?" She looked at me, feigning mystery, and countered, "What do you think?" I felt somewhat at a loss and apologized to her, saying, "I thought so, sorry about that." When she heard my apology, she immediately changed her tone and said, "It's nothing, I can understand how fragile the heart of a soldier who has experienced war and life-and-death struggles must be." "Thank you!" I was at a loss for words again and could only express my gratitude once more. "You were like a naive child last night, can you tell me what made you so sad?" she asked softly. I gazed intently at her beautiful smiling face, speechless for half a day, before finally saying, "Perhaps... perhaps it was the loneliness and helplessness of war that made me find a long-lost sense of family!" She asked, "What kind of family?" I replied, "My sister, you reminded me of my sister!" She curiously asked, "Do I look like your sister?" "No! Not in appearance, but in feeling." Oh! She nodded lightly and said, "Your sister must have been very good to you; if you don't mind that I'm younger than you, consider me your sister in this foreign land!"

  "Be my sister in a foreign land!" I muttered to myself, repeating her words. "How about it? With me as your sister, you won't be at a loss!" She said with a smile, looking at me cutely. Looking at her fresh and vibrant smile, I smiled faintly. "Thank you!" "You finally smiled, soldier, but can't you say something else? Can you only say thank you?" I thought for a moment before saying: "It's not that I don't know how to say anything else, it's just that maybe these few years of fighting have made me a bit stupid. When I see strangers, I really don't know what to say." She laughed and said: "You're too serious! I was just joking with you! Okay, rest for now, and I'll bring you some breakfast later!" Hmm... I nodded lightly. She smiled and left the hospital room.

  After the nurse left, the ward returned to its quietness, and I was alone facing this silence. The silence reminded me of my fallen comrades! Perhaps every soldier's fate in war is like a bullet, hot and swift when fired, just like our youth and passion, but after flying, after completing the mission given by the war, it will eventually fall asleep under the dust, born in war and died in war! Thinking about it, my head started to hurt... thinking about it, my heart also started to hurt... one by one, my comrades sacrificed themselves, I really wanted to leave this chaotic and bloody world with them, we lined up neatly, walking while laughing and singing, just like when we first enlisted. But... I suddenly remembered the oath and the badge when I enlisted. "No, I can't be so negative, death may be a relief, but I can't do that, I must fight to the last moment!" I firmly told myself.

  Tap tap tap... A soft knock at the door interrupted my reverie. The beautiful female nurse from earlier walked in with a tray of breakfast, followed by a robust military officer whose right arm was injured and wrapped in plaster, held up by a sling around his neck.

  "Big soldier, your breakfast is here!" The nurse smiled and walked to my side, helping me sit up from the "bed". The officer also walked to the front of my "bed", sitting down on the bedside cabinet with one leg on the ground and the other swinging back and forth. After I finished drinking a cup of milk, he asked: "Is it okay?" His tone seemed provocative, but his eyes showed kindness. I looked at him and said: "It's great! Thank you!" Heh... The nurse next to me heard my response and smiled again, saying to the officer: "How about it, brother? Is it what I said? This big soldier is really cute when he's stupid!" Hmm, the officer nodded seriously and said: "Yes, quite cute." After that, the officer stared at me and told the nurse: "But if you saw him fighting on the battlefield yesterday, you definitely wouldn't think he's cute."

  I felt uneasy under the officer's gaze, so I shifted my body to distract him and said, "Don't stare at me like that, it makes me uncomfortable!" The officer seemed not to have heard me and continued to stare at me intensely. The nurse beside him suddenly slapped his injured arm and said, "Alright, stop being so petty! You're not going to break your arm again, are you? It can still heal, don't be so rude and keep staring at people like that!" The officer let out a pained cry but quickly changed his serious expression and smiled brightly, saying, "Just kidding, relax!" Seeing the change in him, I immediately relaxed too. "Nothing, what should I call you?" I asked politely. "Ash! Call me Ash! And you, soldier?" I thought for a moment before responding, "Because when I was young, I was dark and skinny, and had a great affinity for water, so my friends all called me Loach!" "Loach? That's an interesting name, what does it mean?" the nurse asked, taking over the conversation. I explained, "A loach is a type of fish, similar to eels in your country's oceans, but much smaller, and can move agilely through muddy waters." Oh! "It sounds like a cute creature!" The nurse seemed to have developed a strong interest in this unfamiliar small animal, her eyes blinking as she imagined the shape of the loach. "Alright, Alysha, you go ahead and take care of things, I still need to talk to this soldier," Ash interrupted the nurse's daydreaming, his tone cold. "Okay... you military people can talk among yourselves, I'll just withdraw..." The nurse said, finishing with a heavy slap on Ash's chest, before turning to me and saying, "Alysha is my name, remember it!" I nodded and replied, "Got it, Alysha!" Alysha nodded in satisfaction, turned around, and left the hospital room.

  "Loach!" Ah Xi seemed to want to ask me something. "What?" I asked back. Ah Xi said, "Are you from the Chinese Army?" "Yes! And you?" I replied and asked back. Ah Xi said, "We are the Thai-Vietnamese Allied Forces, we can be considered allies with you too." "Nice to meet you, comrade Ah Xi!" I said to Ah Xi. Ah Xi said, "I'm glad you call me comrade, yesterday's battle was fierce, and I admire your bravery." "No big deal!" I replied calmly to Ah Xi. I took a look at his injured right arm and asked, "Was it my fault that your arm got hurt?" Ah Xi said, "Yes, but it's okay, what happened to you back then? You didn't distinguish between friend or foe, and just went crazy attacking anyone in sight." "My best brother sacrificed himself, he infiltrated the enemy base for three years, endured unimaginable pain and torture, yearned for the cult to be completely eradicated, yearned to return to normal life... but ultimately still lost his life here..." Ah Xi stood up, placed his hand on my trembling shoulder, and said, "Loach, don't grieve too much, war is like this. Your brother was a good man, he was a true warrior."