Chapter 3: Joining the Righteous Army

  "Did you kill so many people so quickly?!" Shi Tou took a cold breath.

  "Haha! These guys are no match for us, after all we're the warriors of the future!" Shi Bingyu patted his automatic rifle and struck a pose he thought was extremely handsome.

  The four of us walked up to those surrendering soldiers.

  "Which one of you is the leader? Come out!" Shi Bingyu said.

  Those soldiers were trembling with fear, and no one moved.

  "Damn it! Won't you come out? I'll kill you all!" Binger shouted.

  The soldiers were even more frightened, and several of them could hardly stand up.

  "Oh no... sir, his head... was beaten to death by you!" a brave one said in a low voice.

  "Damn it! Why didn't you say so earlier?!" Shi Bingyu cursed.

  "You... you... you old... person, just now was... saying... the one who came out on top, we are not the ones who came out on top." The voice of that bold person grew smaller and smaller as he spoke, shrinking back while talking.

  “……！”

  "How could you say that again?!"

  "You... said you were going to... kill us!"

  Finally got to see what it's like to be a captive today!

  I walked over and asked him with a smile "What's your name? Where are you from? How old are you this year?"

  "My...my name is Zhu Ze Sheng, Guangdong Guangzhou native, 19 years old this year!"

  Zhu Ze's face had turned pale with fright, but maybe it was also because of the cold.

  Cantonese? Maybe a bit cultured?

  "How did you become a soldier? Have you read books?"

  "Sir, I was at home reading...I had read for a few years in a private school, last year when I was doing business, I was caught by them to be a soldier."

  "What about you?" I asked, looking around.

  "I was also caught." "Me too." "My family is poor, the landlord had me replace his son to be a soldier..."

  ……

  Those captured soldiers said one by one: Alas! Not a single one of us is willing to surrender!

  I exchanged a glance with Shi Bingyu, and I believed he felt as uncomfortable as I did.

  "What about those over there?" Shi Bingyu asked silently for a moment, pointing to the corpses on the ground.

  "The official is a Manchu, and the others are more or less like us," said Zhu Ze-sheng.

  "Why don't you escape? Why don't you go to the Taiping Army?" Shi Bingyu asked.

  "The adults said that whoever escapes will have their heads chopped off! The family members at home will also die!"

  "Bury them!" I said in a low voice.

  "Yes, sir!"

  Tie Dan and Shi Tou walked over, Tie Dan said "Didn't Qi Gu say that only those who can behead the demon can be accepted?"

  "They are not the Qing dynasty's lackeys!" I stared at Shi Tou and Tie Dan, saying loudly "They are also poor people! Just like you poor people! Also suffering under the oppression of the Manchu rulers' tyranny! You are rebelling because you are forced by life, they became soldiers also because they were forced by life! What we want to overthrow is those corrupt officials and wealthy landlords! We cannot oppress our own poor people!"

  Maybe my appearance was too scary, and the stone and iron eggs were scared to retreat a step. I sighed "Besides, people die like a lamp going out, there's no grudge left, let them sleep quietly underground!" I said softly. I turned around and looked at those surrendered soldiers, finding that their eyes had a layer of mist, and their faces showed gratitude. After burying the bodies, I walked to the front of Zhu Ze Sheng.

  "What are you going to do next? Are you going to join the righteous army with me or go home?" I asked.

  "Come on, old chap, let's get down to business together!"

  "Boss, we'll follow you from now on!"

  "Sir! We're joining the righteous army!"

  ……

  Those surrendered soldiers suddenly knelt down and kowtowed to us, saying.

  I and Bingying Lun were there. What's going on?!

  "Hurry up! Hurry up! What's going on?!"

  "Come on, mister, agree with us!"

  Are we two so charming?! Haha, how come I've never noticed?! Damn! If they were girls treating us like this, it would be great!

  "Alright! I promise you!"

  "Oh——" The scene erupted in cheers.

  "But from now on, don't call me 'sir' anymore! (I thought I was a reactionary when you called me 'sir'!)""B...then how should we address you?"

  "What should we call... (靠! What's a good name to call? Mr.? This is the army! Brother? It seems like on TV, the KMT calls each other that! Big brother? Are we going to establish a triad society?! The term "adult" has already been negated by ourselves! So what should we call... You might as well just call us Comrades! Comrade, comrade - we've come together because of our shared aspirations! Let's just call each other comrades! My surname is Yang, you can call me Comrade Yang, his surname is Shi, you can call him Comrade Shi!"

  "Yes! Comrade Yang! Comrade Shi!"

  "Big brother! It seems like calling it that way is quite strange, right? Why do I feel like we've gone back to the days of the Land Reform War?" Shi Bingyu whispered into my ear.

  "Go! Go! Go! What did you just say? Are you trying to be a gangster or a KMT member? Only Communist Party members call each other 'comrades'! Look! I'm promoting you to party representative right now, aren't you grateful?"

  “·#￥%……＊—＊~！·—%！”

  "From now on, let's just call each other 'comrade'! Like you, Zhu Ze Sheng, I'll call you Comrade Zhu! And you, Zhang San, I'll call you Comrade Zhang! You all should also address each other as comrades! Comrades, is that okay?!"

  "Good! Comrade Yang!"

  I gaze at the "comrades" around me with a heroic air. (Why do I always feel that there's something wrong with this title?)

  "Big brother! You'd better stop imitating Chairman Mao! Be careful or the gun will go off!" The despicable "Comrade Shi" said cruelly at my most triumphant moment.

  "@#$%^&*^%$#@!~" I gave Comrade Shi a stern glare, while muttering greetings to the elderly female members of his family.

  "Go! Back to the mountain!" I shouted loudly.

  "Wait!" Shi Bingyu very rudely stopped us.

  "What's wrong with you?!" I looked at him unhappily.

  "Big brother... I'm so cold and hungry! Let's get something to eat and some clothes first before we go, okay?!"

  "Damn it! How come I didn't feel cold and hungry just now?! Come on! Quick, get to the sentry post! Zhang San! Do you have food and clothes?! Bring them quickly!"

  "Yes! Comrade Yang!"

  "Wow! Look at how beautiful you just were! You're so focused on showing off! Do you still feel cold and hungry?!"

  "Damn it! Why so much nonsense?! Ah, stupid!"

  ※※※

  "I told you to bring two Qingyao people's heads, how did you end up bringing seventeen Qingyao?!"

  "Seventh Aunt! Those Qing soldiers aren't Manchu slaves, are they?! They're also from poor families! They've now turned over a new leaf! They want to overthrow those damned landlords and traitors who sell out the country! Are they our comrades? Ah, I think I'm catching a cold... does anyone have any Contac cold capsules?"

  "Yes! Down with the landlord and old money! Down with the traitors who sell out our country!" The seventeen people under my command, who had just risen up in revolt, shouted loudly.

  "Stones! Iron eggs! These two guys (when did we become guys?!) just killed the Clear Specter, didn't they?!" Seventh Aunt called out to those two followers behind us.

  "Kill, Seventh Aunt! (How dare you kill Seventh Aunt?! You really are things that don't know life or death!) In the blink of an eye, we saw them kill fifteen Clear Demons! How fierce!" Stone said.

  I and Shi Bingyu put on a posture of despising heaven and earth, as if killing a few Qingyou was just a small kiss.

  "Seventh Aunt! They're using demonic magic! (The two of us almost fell to the ground!) Demonic magic?! I only heard the sound of 'da da da' and saw that all those clear demons were dead!" Tie Dan said. The stone beside him nodded vigorously.

  "Are you really going to practice witchcraft?!" Qi Gu asked us with a surprised face.

  "No way! How could we be demons?! We killed them with our weapons!" The two of us immediately shook our heads and denied it. We didn't want to be demons!

  "What weapon?" asked Lu Qiuniang.

  "That's it!" Shi Bingyu said, picking up his submachine gun.

  "What kind of weapon is this?! Why is there a stick on the hammer?!"

  An axe......!!!! I and Shi Bingyu almost fainted.

  "Oh! They say this is called 'only move, don't rob!' It's very powerful!" Shi Tou suddenly remembered something. (On the way, Shi Bingyu told them that this was an automatic rifle, but he misheard it as "only move, don't rob!" Damn! What a godly ear!)

  "Only moves, doesn't rob?!" Shi Bingyu almost laughed to death: "Haha haha haha, big brother! This kid says my gun is only moving, not robbing! Hehe hehe hehe"

  "It's an automatic rifle! Haha! Not just moving, but also robbing!" I said with a smile while rubbing my belly. "It was used by our special forces back in the day... Ah, ah, ah!" (Looks like I need to see a doctor now, hope I didn't catch a cold)

  "Is it very powerful?" Lu Qiuniang asked us doubtfully.

  "Nature is already very powerful, and in today's society, there is nothing more powerful than it! In another hundred years, even with rifles, there will be no greater destructive power!" Shi Bingyu laughed. —— He was almost rolling on the ground.

  "Oh......" Lu Qiuniang thought for a moment, then suddenly laughed and said: "Aren't you going to join us? Alright! From now on, you are all under the command of General Shi Wang! Are you happy or not?"

  Looking at Lu Qi's smile, why do I have a bad premonition?

  "We're delighted!" we both replied. How could we not be? If we didn't join, what awaited us might have been being burned at the stake or dismembered by five horses!

  "Alright! Then I order you to hand over your automatic rifles to me for safekeeping! Don't worry! It's safer with me, isn't it!"

  “……？！”

  You can't be serious! You want us to hand over our guns? This is our life insurance! Absolutely not!

  "I immediately said: 'Seventh Aunt! I'd be happy to give you the gun, but...'"

  "What's wrong?"

  "This gun recognizes its master! Our guns can only be used by ourselves, no one else can use them! Don't believe me? Here's the gun, you try shooting me!" I handed the gun to Qiūjiě.

  "Really?!" Qi Gu said with a disbelieving face: "If you get beaten to death, it's your own fault!!"

  I stood there with an air of indifference.

  Seventh Aunt held the ammunition box and weighed it, then suddenly threw it at me!

  “……？！”

  Get out of my way!

  The ferocious Seventh Aunt didn't even hit me with a single sweep...

  "Wrong! Wrong! Not used like this! Wa——! My butt!"

  "What's wrong with using it like this?!" Seventh Aunt glared at me with a fierce gaze.

  "Rifles aren't used like that! Didn't Tie Dan just say so? He heard the rat-a-tat sound and those Clear Demons all died?! Seventh Aunt, you've been waving it around for half a day, did you hear the rat-a-tat sound?"

  "How is it used?!"

  "Is it enough to just pull the trigger?! Just like your firearms..."

  "Why didn't you say so earlier?! Honestly... Darn it!!! How come you're still not dead?!"

  "Haha, I told you so, Seventh Aunt! This gun only recognizes its master! Only I can use it! No one else can, including my brother!... Where's my brother?! Ahh! How did you end up under the table?!"

  Shi Bingyu got up with a smile while rubbing his belly.

  "I think I ate something wrong... burp! Big brother, you continue talking! Haha!"

  Damn it! Heartless! Am I not struggling for our country's sake?! You little brat...

  "Really?!" Seventh Aunt said disbelievingly: "Then try it!"

  I took the gun, "What to shoot? Forget it! Seventh aunt, I'll just shoot that pine tree! Tell everyone to move back a bit so they don't get hurt!" I said with a smile, at the same time secretly switching the safety catch to burst mode while everyone wasn't paying attention.

  "Everybody get out of the way! I'd like to see how this gun recognizes its master!" Seventh Aunt said defiantly.

  Rustle, rustle, rustle - The pine tree shook violently, and the snow on it fell to the ground.

  As I took my finger off the trigger, I quietly switched on the safety catch. Then I handed it over to Qiū Jīe (Seven Auntie).

  "Come on! Let's go take a look at the big tree!" I said to Seventh Aunt.

  A pine tree with one character and three holes for eyes.

  "Right, right, right! That's the rattling sound!" Tie Dan shouted loudly.

  Seventh Aunt looked at the pine tree with a suspicious face, then looked at the gun in her hand. I had just cocked the trigger and she saw it. She aimed at the pine tree again and pulled the trigger, shouting "Da da da! Da da da!! Da da da!"

  The big tree pattern is still --- it's even more impossible for there to be any holes.

  "Alright, I'll take your word for it!"

  Qī gū yī liǎn xìng rán de bǎ qiāng dì gěi le wǒ. Wǒ wēi xiào de jiē guò le qiāng.

  Translation:

  Seventh Aunt handed the gun to me with a sulky face. I smiled and took over the gun.

  Gun! My dear gun! I finally saved you from the jaws of death!

  "Alright! Let's set off! To welcome King Servant!"