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  48. The three-day New Year's holiday passed in a hurry while I was sleeping. On January 4th, when I went to the company, my colleagues still couldn't forget about the annual meeting and were discussing whether you got drunk that day? How much did you drink?

  But there were also rumors of peach color from then on, Fu Andong sent me a message on MSN in the morning: I heard that Lu You Nian sent Wu Sha home that night, did they get together?

  I replied with one sentence: boring.

  Send me a heartbreak and sly smile emoji, Fan Dong.

  The news spread quickly, and in the following month, more than one person secretly told me: Let me tell you something, I heard that Director Lu of the investment banking department and their intern are having an affair.

  I wonder when Lu You became so popular with women? He's actually the male lead in a scandal.

  After New Year's Day is the Spring Festival, and every day there are new year-end holiday application emails coming out. I stared blankly at those emails, Zhang Qiu asked me: "Director Xu, what are your plans for the Chinese New Year?"

  I thought about it and said: "Just live a normal life."

  I don't have many close relatives, my uncles and aunts are not in Beijing, they also have their own families to reunite and celebrate, suddenly I, this niece, appear to join the fun, I reckon it would make them uncomfortable during the New Year.

  In such a big Beijing, can't find anyone to rely on, is it a bit too sad? I shook my head and didn't think about these things, why bother looking for trouble?

  Recently, many colleagues and friends have been reminding me that I'm getting old and should find a partner. They've been enthusiastically arranging blind dates for me, and I've been going on one every week without much fuss. In the end, I couldn't help but lament that even at 28 or 29 years old, these "high-quality" bachelors are single for a reason.

  He Xian occasionally contacts me online, his hotel platform company has just been launched for a short time, and now it's running business all over China. Often, he would make an appointment with me to have dinner on Saturday, and then fly out on Sunday.

  Liu Xi has become much closer to me since our last deep conversation at midnight, and we often discuss some intimate topics. Now that the Spring Festival is approaching, what she cares about most is whether or not to meet each other's parents.

  We two had tea in a teahouse next to the company, which was decorated with strong Yunnan flavor. Various flower teas were the main products. I ordered a pot of rose tea.

  Liu Xi asked me: "Shen Shen, do you think Ah Dong will let me meet his parents during the holidays this year?"

  I looked at her, this little girl with a hopeful face, and even if I knew the outcome, I couldn't bear to disappoint her. "Did you bring it up with him yourself?"

  She said: "I've hinted several times, I don't know if he understands."

  I'm most clear about Fang Andong, he's never taken responsibility for his girlfriend, and when it comes to getting married, he'll definitely just play around and won't make any real progress unless forced.

  I suggested to her: "It's best if you tell him your thoughts and clarify things. Pei An Dong has a low EQ, if you don't speak directly he'll probably never understand."

  Over the weekend, I received a call from Du Shaotu, who warmly invited me to attend his son's full moon banquet. I was surprised and said, "Why didn't you mention it last time we met? I didn't even know you had a son!"

  Du Shao's mood was particularly good: "Last time was within three months, it's not easy to say. The full moon wine must come, Lu You I won't notify, you tell him."

  I sent a text message to Lu You, sending him the time and location of the wine party.

  "He replied to me: 'Good.'"

  We haven't met again since you last stayed at my place. They're working on a project and are extremely busy, I heard the whole department doesn't leave until 2am every day.

  Since it was a full moon wine, I went to Chow Tai Fook in the mall and chose a solid gold peanut pendant as a gift.

  The wine table was set in a large hotel in the center of Beijing. As soon as I entered, the guide board wrote "Du Shaotu and Yin Qiao's son full moon banquet".

  He invited a lot of people, setting up 5 or 6 tables. Our table is considered his university alumni, but most are from their level, four years my senior. It's clear that everyone hasn't gathered together for a long time, this is a good opportunity to catch up and understand each other's recent situation. Almost all of them have already started a family, the topics of conversation gradually focus on family matters, such as whether to change houses, what car is good, where to spend the New Year and so on.

  Someone asked me: "Xu Shenshen?"

  The other person was a fairly stout middle-aged man, and I racked my brains for a long time, but couldn't think of it: "Who are you?"

  He said: "I am Big Stick."

  I suddenly realized that it was Du Shaotou, a graduate student and roommate. He is now completely different from the memory, he was very thin in college, wearing thick glasses, sitting in front of the computer all day looking at stocks, a standard money bag. So they called him Big Stick because once he brought his girlfriend back to the dormitory, the two struggled all night, and the next day the girl actually had a fever, since then Du Shaotou and others have been laughing at him as Big Stick.

  Da Bang is usually very quiet and doesn't like to talk much, Lu You can be considered a chatterbox compared to him.

  When Lu You was looking for a job, one evening I went to their dormitory to play with him. The two of us lay on his bed and watched an old movie called "Before the Dawn Breaks". After finishing watching, it was already 12:30. The girls' dormitory had already been locked down, and I didn't want to go back. Since there were no other people in their dormitory, I thought about staying overnight at his place.

  He insisted on sending me back, probably worried that Du Shaotu and others would come back and see.

  I couldn't help myself, I leaned in and kissed him, quickly taking him down, or rather, being taken down by him. The next morning, I woke up early, sneaking into the bathroom to wash up quietly. It was winter then, and the sun rose late, outside the window was still a dull haze. When I returned to his dormitory, there seemed to be a faint light in the corner of the room. As I walked over, I found Da Bang sitting at the desk, hunched over with his eyes fixed intently on the computer screen, muttering something under his breath.

  I was startled and almost threw the basin in my hand at his face, shouting: "Ah!"

  Lu You was still half asleep at that time, and when he heard my miserable voice, he immediately woke up, jumped off the bed and asked me: "What's wrong?"

  I pointed at the big stick, shocked and speechless: "He... how is he here?"

  Da Bang then came back to his senses from the K-line chart that filled his screen, looking at us in a daze.

  Lu You was also startled: "Da Gun, how are you here? When did you come back?"

  "Damn it! It's actually dropped so much!"

  I stood there feeling embarrassed, their dormitory was only 10 square meters in size, the single bed was even smaller, two people lying on it would make creaking sounds, the stick (monitor) must have heard everything, it was really too embarrassing...

  Lu You patted Da Gun's shoulder and asked seriously: "When did you come? How didn't I know?"

  "Damn it! My stock plummeted yesterday, I was out driving all day and didn't pay attention, now look what's happened..."

  Lu You interrupted Da Gun again and asked once more: "I'm asking you, when exactly did you come?"

  Da Geng was taken aback, probably realizing that Lu You was seriously asking him: "This morning."

  As soon as he finished speaking, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

  Then Big Stick added another sentence: "At that time, you two were still sleeping, weren't you too tired last night?" After finishing speaking, he chuckled.

  Lu Youdu was taken aback for a moment, coughed and said awkwardly: "Get out."

  Even now, I still feel a bit embarrassed when I think about it. It's really hard for me to connect the big stick that lived in his own little world with no sense of presence and the man in front of me who is wearing a sweater and has a big belly. "You've changed so much, I can hardly recognize you."

  "Ahahahaha, middle-aged prosperity, few people recognize. Haven't seen you for a long time, still so beautiful."

  I smiled: "Thank you, it's been a long time since we last met."

  Da Gua asked: "Is Lu You coming today too? By the way, are you two married?"

  "I said: 'He's coming. We two have been separated for a long time...'"

  Before he had finished speaking, Lu Youfeng hurried over. He pulled out the chair beside me, hung his coat on the back of it and sat down with a smile.

  "Lu You!" The big stick quickly recognized him.

  Lu You went forward and shook hands with Da Gun: "Da Gun, it's been a while since we last met."

  "Right, wasn't the last class reunion last year? You're too low-key, your wife came back and didn't even tell us brothers." He said while glancing at me.

  "We haven't been together for a long time."

  Da Bang was stunned, holding Lu You's hand a bit awkwardly, "Like this..."

  Lu You sat down and started chatting with Da Gun: "How are you? Have you had a child?"

  The big stick's expression was a bit stiff, shook his head and sighed softly: "Got divorced last month."

  Lu You listened and didn't say much, patted his shoulder: "Let's get together sometime and have a good gathering."

  Da Geng nodded and turned around to look at Du Shao Tu who was making a toast at another table, and envied: "Du Shao is still the best."

  When Du Shao and his wife came to our table, their faces were flushed with happiness. Yin Qiao was holding their one-month-old son in her arms. I put a golden flower on him, he kicked his legs, didn't cry or make a fuss, opened his mouth and started smiling, and kept stretching out his small hands to grab something.

  Everyone was amused by the little drawing. Yin Qiao said to him, "Look, Auntie Xu gave you a gift, do you want to thank Auntie?"

  Xiao Tu held my hand, mumbling something in his mouth. Du Shao Tu's son is white and plump, inheriting Yin Qiao's good skin and Du Shao Tu's high nose bridge, like a foreign child, with a young gentleman style, very likable.

  I leaned in a bit and kissed him on the cheek, and Xiao Tu immediately burst out laughing "heh heh". The crowd at the banquet laughed and said: "Xiao Shao, your son is going to be promising, now he already knows how to flirt with beautiful aunties."

  I bent down and asked him: "Do you want Auntie to give you a hug?"

  The little guy seems to understand what I'm saying, waving his small fist and smiling at me happily. I took him from Yinqiao's arms, this little guy is not light, quite a handful, loves to move and laugh, and when he gets into a new embrace, he becomes even more restless, kicking his short legs as if wanting to turn over, so I can only make funny faces to attract his attention.

  Du Shaotu burst out laughing and said: "Xu Shenshen, seeing how much you like my son, hurry up and give birth to a little girl, so she can kneel down in front of my son's open pants in the future."

  I teased Xiao Tu while saying: "Get out, who knows who will surrender first."

  Da Gua also chimed in, "Right! You guys should hurry up and have a child to tie down Tuo Xiao's son. Otherwise, looking at this kid's behavior, he hasn't even learned how to talk yet but has already learned how to flirt with girls, just like his father!"

  Everyone burst out laughing.

  Yin Qiao took the small picture from my arms and smiled: "This kid is quite a handful, when he grows up a bit more, we'll have to get him and his dad to lose weight together."

  This was my first time seeing Yoon-kyo, her face was lovely, after having a child she had put on a bit of weight, her long hair fell over her shoulders and was tied back in a ponytail, she wore a simple striped T-shirt dress and flat shoes, standing next to Du Shao-tu with a happy smile, the center of attention for the entire banquet.

  Da Gùn seems to be in a trance, having drunk a whole round, cup after cup down his throat. I remind him: "Da Gùn, how did you get here?"

  "He drove over." After saying that, he took another sip.

  I grabbed the wine bottle in his hand, "You drink like this, how will you drive back later."

  Big stick sighed and got up to walk away: "I'm going to smoke a cigarette."

  He walked past Lu You and asked, "Lu You, want to smoke a cigarette together?"

  Lu You stood up, pulled out a chair, "Let's go." He took out a pack of cigarettes from his coat and walked with Da Bang to the outside of the banquet hall.

  People on the table are still talking about their families, those trivial things that seem to be shackles but always the core of people's lives. I was at a loss and could only listen in.

  Da Bang and Lu You came back when the banquet was almost over. I'm not sure how many cigarettes they smoked, but I could smell a faint scent of tobacco.

  In my impression, Lu You didn't smoke. There were four people in their graduate dormitory: Du Shaotu, Lu You, Da Gun and Luntai.

  Among them, Du Shaotu was the best drinker and also the one who liked smoking the most. I saw him puffing away on the balcony every time I visited their dormitory. At that time, Da Gun didn't smoke and had his mind set on making a lot of money after graduation, while Lu You had mild mysophobia and wouldn't touch this stuff.

  The result is that the people in memory are all gone, Du Shaotu has become a good person, has a family, and the one who is drunk and can't stand still is Da Gun.

  Time flies so fast, I guess everyone is feeling sentimental, how did people we knew yesterday become strangers today?

  After dispersing, after saying goodbye to Du Shaotu and Yin Qiao, I asked Lu You: "Did you drive here?"

  He paused for a moment, "Oh, no, I took a taxi here. Guess it can't be avoided, have to drink some."

  "Otherwise, you drive your big truck to send him back, I think he can't make it like this."

  Lu You hesitated for a moment: "I'm afraid I won't pass the alcohol test either."

  He didn't drink much, but he got drunk easily and his face turned red, plus his skin was originally pale, so his eyes and face were really red, if he met a traffic police officer, he would definitely not be able to hide it.

  I took a look at the big stick on one side, he waved his hand and said, "You don't need to worry about me, traffic police are almost done with work for the year."

  I advised him: "Why don't you take a taxi back and then come back here tomorrow to drive your car back?"

  He nodded and urged us: "Go, go, go, hurry up. I've only had a few drinks, what can I do?" After finishing speaking, he slowly walked out with his bag.

  I stood still, watching the slightly chubby back of Da Gun walking out, while inside the wine house, guests were still making a loud noise, it was like two different worlds.

  It's deep winter now, the coldest time of the year in Beijing. Outside, strong winds are mixed with a bit of snow, making people shiver and having difficulty walking.

  I wrapped my scarf around me and walked to the side of the road to hail a taxi. One by one, busy taxis whizzed past me, but after waiting for a long time, there was still no empty car. I turned my head and saw Lu You not far away also waiting for a car, wearing a dark gray down jacket with a light brown scarf around his neck, his hands tucked in his pockets, his figure quiet and solitary.

  I've been waiting for a long time and still don't see an empty car. I took out my phone, apart from the busy tone of the taxi hotline, I didn't know who else to call.

  "Take the subway then, there's no car now."

  Lu You seems to be waiting for me to travel with him.

  I sighed and could only use public transportation in this situation.

  The subway station is still a long way from the hotel, so we just walked like this, leaving a long shadow under the streetlights, like two parallel lines with no intersection.

  As I passed by the entrance of a lane, the wind grew stronger, making it hard to stand still. The snow was getting heavier and bigger, with a hint of sleet, and before long, small ice crystals formed on my coat, which felt chillingly cold when I brushed them off with my hand.

  This winter night, there is a business that is most prosperous and lively.

  There are several signs on the wall with big characters that read "roasted skewers" and "fireworks". The small shop has a lot of people sitting inside, drinking beer and eating roasted skewers while chatting about life.

  "It's so cold."

  Lu You asked me: "Do you want to build a wall?"

  I shook my head: "No need."

  The atmosphere is so awkward, the person next to me is still the same, I seem to still remember the temperature of his palm many years ago, the warmth of him holding my hand in his coat, but such intimacy will never return.

  We occasionally exchange a few words like acquaintances who aren't very close: "Is Big Stick's wife still the one from university?"

  Lu You shook his head: "Not anymore. It was introduced by someone after work, but they broke up recently."

  "Why leave?"

  Lu You didn't say much: "Maybe it's not very suitable."

  I said: "Du Shaotu is still happier than you guys, there's another one in your dormitory, why didn't he come?"

  "You mentioned tires? He's in Hong Kong, so far away he didn't come."

  "Oh."

  The snowflakes grew smaller and turned into raindrops, and Lu You's hair was covered with a lot of snow dust, as if it had been framed in crystal. We walked under the eaves to avoid the rain, and he suggested: "Why don't we go to the store and sit for a while? If we keep walking like this, we'll get soaked and definitely catch a cold."

  We entered a barbecue shop called "Furnace Night Talk", which is open to young people, and the interior is decorated with distinctive features. The walls are filled with emotional messages written by former diners.

  The boss's wife looked like a university graduate and held up the menu asking us: "Do you want to barbecue yourselves or have us do it?"

  I took a glance at the tables next to me, and without exception, they were all piled high with finished skewers and several bottles of beer. The aroma of roasting wafted through the room, enticing my appetite.

  "Come yourself."

  Before long, the boss brought a small stove to the table, added burning charcoal inside, and covered it with an iron frame, which warmed up a lot.

  I had already eaten half full at the wine table, ordered some of my favorite chicken wings, duck jelly and dried tofu, and added two cans of Coke. Now I smell the fragrance, excitedly holding a string of raw meat on the grill.

  Lu You leaned on her hands under her chin, silently looking at me, and suddenly asked: "Are there such things abroad?"

  "No, so often mouthwatering roasted skewers, sour and spicy noodles and the like."

  The chicken wings on the grill sizzled with oil, and the wind outside grew stronger, causing the doors and windows to creak.

  I buried my head and took a bite of chicken wing, hearing my own voice ask Lu You: "When are you planning to get married?"

  It's been a long time since I responded.

  I raised my head and looked at him, his eyes seemed to flash with something, and he said softly: "I don't know."

  I laughed: "What's going on with men these days, are they all getting marriage phobia or what?"

  Lu You frowned at me: "Who do you think I'll marry?"

  I wiped my mouth with a tissue and took a sip of Coke. "I don't know, did she change or something? Isn't it Wang Shu?"

  He didn't say a word and started drinking Coke, then asked me back: "What about you? What are your plans this time back in the country?"

  "There's nothing in particular, it's just that I'm a bit fed up with staying abroad."

  "Do you... now..." Lu You said very slowly, "have a steady boyfriend?"

  It's unclear whether it was because he emphasized the pronunciation of the two words "fixed", or if these two words just sounded particularly jarring.

  I looked into his eyes and said: "There is no fixed one."

  Lu You continued asking: "Then what about Fu An Dong..."

  I interrupted him, "Fu Andong has a 'fixed' girlfriend." Seeing Lu Youxiu, he seemed to be in a state of surprise.

  He asked again: "Was it Lin You last time?"

  I'm quite surprised he still remembers Lin You, "Lin You, he also has a 'stable' girlfriend now."

  He faintly responded with an "uh-huh".

  I smiled: "If there was a stable one, I wouldn't have spent the night with President Lu last time. If you have a suitable bachelor, you can introduce him to me."

  Lu You stopped suddenly, his eyes seeming to hold some inexplicable emotion. He raised his head and gazed at me deeply, only speaking after a long while: "You're now... so careless?"

  I admit that my previous words were meant to provoke him, but now they haven't provoked him, and I'm the one who can't take it anymore. I think the two words "at will" might still be Lu Youshen's processed version, maybe what he wanted to say was actually "as you like".

  I asked him back: "What do you think is casual?"

  He didn't answer, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at me, as if from a great distance.

  I took a sip of Coke, picked up the chicken wing and gnawed on it, then wiped my hands and mouth with a paper towel. I looked at him and said: "For someone like me who doesn't have a stable boyfriend, we can be casual and enjoy ourselves as long as we're willing. But some people, they have a 'fixed' partner, yet still spend the night at other people's homes, isn't that considered being unrefined?"

  After finishing, I picked up my coat and walked to the cashier to pay. Turning back, I said to Lu You: "Lu, this time I'll get it."

  Then he walked out without looking back.