Chapter Six Where to Go and Where to Come From

  "Hey kiddo, awake now? Slept comfortably on Grandpa's body, huh?" said the pillar, carrying me on his back and following behind the wastrel, who spoke with a tone of discontent upon seeing that I was awake.

  "Thanks, put me down now, it's fine." As soon as my feet touched the ground, I suddenly felt a wave of dizziness. The pillar supported me for a few steps before I gradually recovered and caught up with the old ghost in front.

  "Thanks!" Lao Gui said, turning his head to say a word, then followed the frontmost mouse, taking advantage of the cover of night to continue moving forward.

  "What about others? Just escape with us few?"

  The old devil didn't answer my question, and from the look on his face, I knew what the outcome would be. I followed him woodenly, with an indescribable feeling in my heart, grateful to be alive while at the same time feeling a twinge of shame for being alive. This complex emotion weighed heavily on my chest, making it hard to breathe. Face after face, both familiar and strange, appeared before me, but I could only see their rough outlines, not their fine features. They struggled, shouted, and laughed, against the backdrop of a blood-red sky, with fresh blood pouring down from above, and various severed limbs scattered around me. The chaotic scene made my head spin, "Ah!" I crawled to the side of the road and vomited, my stomach contracting rapidly, a mouthful of bitter air spewing out of my mouth.

  "What's wrong? Ghost brother, he spat blood!" Zhu Zi ran over and supported me, saying.

  "How is it, Liu Lang? What's the feeling?"

  "It's okay, it's okay!" I shook my head slightly, feeling that with the stuff gone, my body felt much lighter, and continued to say: "No problem, I'm feeling much better now! I'm fine, let's go!"

  "Are you sure? No way, I'll carry you on my back. You're as thin as a little girl!" Zhuzi stared at me with wide eyes, his face full of concern, but his words were not pleasant to hear.

  "Thanks! I can walk." Got up, head still a bit dizzy, but much better than before.

  "Ghost brother, we've already left the front line battlefield. If we go further forward, it's where we passed by Hengyang on our way here." said Haozi, who had been scouting ahead and returned. Upon hearing Haozi's words, I felt a pang of discomfort in my heart. Although I was temporarily safe now, it also meant that I had become a deserter.

  "Alright, let's take a break and discuss this," said Lao Gui in a low voice, looking around cautiously before finding a secluded spot to sit down. After rushing for over four hours, his legs now felt like they didn't belong to him.

  "Everyone discuss and decide what our next step should be?" Lao Gui said while rubbing his calf.

  Hao Zi and Zhu Zi stared at each other with wide eyes, glaring for half a day before saying in unison: "Let's listen to Gui Ge!"

  "Little kid, what do you say?" The old ghost looked at me and asked.

  "The National Army, we can't go back now. The war is urgent and there are deserters everywhere. If we go back now, we'll definitely be shot." I've blocked this road first, after all, I don't want to go back to the battlefield as cannon fodder again. That kind of hail of bullets, where life and death are in the hands of heaven, I never want to experience it again. A loud curse in my heart: "Even if I'm a transmigrator, can't I have some heroic spirit? Being a commander or something, this damn Guilin Army doesn't want me to go back."

  "That way we can't go either, if we go, won't they skin us alive?" Zhuzi heard my words and quickly blocked the other road, it seems this guy didn't kill fewer people when he was fighting against the communists.

  "This won't work, that won't work, what can we do?" he muttered gloomily after hearing that his plan to throw himself into the revolutionary crucible had been vetoed.

  "There's only one way left!" The old devil looked at everyone, a hint of helplessness on his face.

  "Bandit?" we both said in unison with Haozi.

  "Haha, haha, not bad, I like it." Zhangzi was grinning foolishly. It wasn't until later that they found out Zhangzi used to be a bandit, but was later recruited by Lao Gui's troops and became acquainted with Lao Gui. After several battles, he became Lao Gui's sworn brother. Now hearing that they were going to start their old business again, living the good life with wine, meat, and women, his heart naturally burst into bloom.

  "As long as we can beat the devils, I have no opinion!" Hào Zi also spoke up, but Hào Zi seemed to be naturally vigilant, even at this time, his round little eyes were rolling around, and he really looked a bit like a sneaky mouse.

  "Then where do you say we go to be bandits? Or should we return to our hometown in Guangxi? There are many bandits and mountains there, maybe we can still find some old connections, hehe!" Zhu Zi said with a hopeful face.

  "No way, I'd lose face if that guy finds out. If the wife and daughter-in-law knew, they'd kill me! No way, absolutely not." Old Ghost shook his head and said.

  "Brother, what you said is not right. Firstly, we are not bandits from the past, we are just militia fighting against the devils (Japanese). We don't bully ordinary people, that's all. Once we make a name for ourselves, I reckon your mother and wife will be proud of you too; Secondly, look at the devils' artillery and combat power, do you think our troops can hold them off in Shanghai? This is definitely going to be a protracted war, what if the devils reach your hometown, killing and burning, and you're unable to protect your wife or mother, what then?"

  "That's right, Ghost Brother! The place is full of forests everywhere, we're also familiar with it. If the devils enter the forest, they won't be able to come out, that's our specialty!" Look at how I made Old Ghost speechless, Zhu Zi hurried over to add fuel to the fire, looks like Zhu Zi had a good time mixing around in the mountains before."

  "Go on, rely on you." The old devil hesitated again and again, and finally made up his mind.

  "There's someone." Haozi suddenly said in a low voice. Lao Gui, Zhu Zi immediately entered a state of alert, his expression stern. Before Lao Gui could give an order, Haozi had already climbed up, although he was already adapted to the state of war, but his reaction was still slightly slower.

  A group of fleeing common people, it seems that the front line is tight, and the common people have started to flee to the rear. After a moment, the mouse came back to report.

  "How many people? Are they armed?" The old devil asked in a low voice. "Eight people, five men, two women and one child."

  "Up, grab the clothes."

  "Don't hurt anyone!" I shouted in a low voice from behind.

  "Shut up and don't make a sound!" Zhang shouted as he rushed forward.

  With little effort, the four of them changed into ordinary people's clothes. Haozi led the way, Zhuzi followed behind, and the four of them headed in the direction of Taihang Mountain.

  "Damn it!" The pillar behind cursed.

  "Don't be angry, I saw it too." Lao Gui replied from the front. Just now, the gaze of several old people, we all understand that it is contempt for the deserter, full of disdain and resentment, the most vicious language pierced through their eyes. No need to listen, we know what the old people will say after we leave, because we have also scolded the Central Army like this.

  "Ghost brother, you say, is this called desertion? The top issued a death order, we also charged forward. Do we have to go and die just because we clearly know it's an ambush? Are we not considered deserters if we don't charge into the sea of fire in front of us? Damn it, it's better to be a bandit! F**k! F**k! F**k!" Zhu Zi cursed for several sentences, still resentful about the look from just now.

  The old ghost didn't respond, and I reckon this question has been haunting him too. Although I haven't been a soldier for long, that gaze still lingers in front of me, and I know I'm not yet a true military man. But the term "deserter" weighs heavily on me, like a thousand-pound boulder crushing my shoulders, making it hard to stand up straight, forcing me to walk behind the old ghost with my head hung low, contemplating my own path forward. What can I do in this era? Can I change anything? In an age where war is all that exists, what can I do for myself? In the trenches, amidst the hail of artillery and bullets that effortlessly take the lives of comrades around me, I felt the insignificance of life for the first time - a tiny piece of shrapnel could rip through my artery in an instant, blood spraying out like water from a gun, and within seconds or tens of seconds, I'd lose consciousness. Turning back, I'd see nothing but a cold corpse, which might soon be torn into countless pieces by another shell, erasing the existence of a living, whole person. Listening to my own labored breathing, I told myself in my heart: "I can't change history; all I can do is survive, stubbornly cling to life, and make it to the end - that's my goal!"