Chapter Sixteen: A Battle of Wits in the Imperial Court

  I smiled and said, "Tomorrow they will definitely also discuss the matter of delaying their return to politics. For now, we can't directly confront them head-on, so we can only adapt to the situation and take a detour to achieve our goals! As for how to respond, I don't have a specific plan yet, I can only improvise! Let's do this, tomorrow you guys just follow my lead!"

  Seeing off two people, I feel a sense of relief in my heart. The general has already taken the stage, and my trump card is even more solid!

  As soon as I sat down on the chair, Yanyu ran over and sat on my lap, hugging me and saying: "Husband, Yanyu has an idea. Now that we're starting from scratch, it's a waste of time and hard to predict the effect. Why not gather all the existing Anqing Arsenal, Suzhou Western Gun Bureau, Jiangnan Manufacturing General Bureau, Fujian Shipyard, Tianjin Machinery Factory, Beijing Arsenal, Sichuan Machinery Bureau together and establish a unified Military Industry Department? I can improve the production line on their basis and manufacture new-style guns and cannons!"

  I said with delight: "Good, this idea is good. You immediately take a systematic opinion and write another list of things to be purchased. I'll let Zhang Shuo go abroad to buy them!"

  "Listen, Fei immediately squeezed over and sat on my other leg, hugging my neck and saying: 'Good husband, Fei also has a question, now they should have telegraph offices and telephone bureaus, right? Can you get them all for me, I'll first set up phone and telegraph lines in the army and palace. However, you must establish a Ministry of Posts and Telecommunications for me too!'"

  I smiled and said: "Very well, let the two consorts withdraw!"

  Two little rascals left my body, but neither knelt nor asked for peace, instead one of them pulled me onto the bed by my ear, pressed me down and stripped me naked, starting a new round of marital war.

  After waking up, the three of us practiced Xuan Yuan Sword again. I went to visit Old Thing as usual.

  Cixi grasped my hand and said: "The Empress Dowager is feeling a bit better today, she has to attend the court session later!"

  I looked around the house and said: "Empress Dowager, let's install a telephone too!"

  Cixi was taken aback, and after a long while, she said: "Li Hongzhang also mentioned it. He's set up a telephone bureau now, but I've heard that thing is quite stupid - you have to turn the handle for half a day before you can get through, and even then it's just a mosquito-like voice, and when it does ring, it wails loudly, how annoying! The Empress Dowager doesn't like it!"

  I immediately said: "That's not good, my child has a friend who came back from the United States, she specializes in installing telephones, and when she installs them, they ring like singing, and when you dial, it connects with just a light touch, and the sound is very clear! If we install one here for Empress Dowager Cixi, my child can talk to her every day!"

  Cixi happily said: "That's good, you let him give one to Empress Dowager!"

  I hastily said: "That requires a telephone bureau, lines, and someone to manage it. Let's establish a Ministry of Posts and Communications, let my friend be the minister, and assign him the telephone bureau and telegram office. Let her rush to install telephones for Your Majesty, and install them in all the palaces! If Your Majesty wants to find anyone, just one phone call will summon them! This thing won't cost much money, so please approve it, Your Majesty, and also give me some face!"

  Cixi hesitated for a moment and asked: "What does each ministry manage?"

  I knew she was afraid of being in charge, so I quickly said: "What can he take care of? Just install a phone, and if the phone is broken, be responsible for repairing it!"

  The old man asked again, "What about matters of national importance?"

  "Would that work for him? But just give him some face and let him attend the court session!"

  "What's the point of giving him a few things?"

  "At least it should start from the first rank, the child's friend was given a low position, the child would lose face, after the phone was hung up, who called him and asked for money, he didn't need us to give him a salary, nor did he participate in politics, what's there to be afraid of!"

  "All right then, let's settle on this: from now on, you can attend court every day if you want to, or not at all, but you are absolutely forbidden from interfering in politics!" Cixi finally spat out the words.

  I hastily said: "That's it, that's it. The child will definitely not let him participate in politics. However, you don't have to announce it publicly, just tell the child and give me some face!"

  Cixi nodded: "Alright, hurry back and have something to eat. It's time for the morning court session! Tell your friend to wait outside and await summons!"

  "Yes, thank you, Empress Dowager!"

  In the morning, it's just like in TV shows. One person sits on top and listens to a group of people chattering below. But now the one sitting on top isn't me, but that old thing. I'm only sitting next to her on a dragon stool (whatever dragon stool is, it's just a tattered cushion, but it's actually quite soft and comfortable, definitely more so than where the old thing is!)

  Cixi sat down and asked me: "Has your friend arrived? What's his name?"

  He hastily said: "His name is Huang Fei, he has arrived and is waiting outside for an audience!"

  Cixi said in a slow and deliberate tone: "I, for the purpose of strengthening the management of our Great Qing's telephone, telegraph, and postal services, have decided to establish the Imperial Postal Service. I appoint Huang Feihong, who has returned from his studies in America..."

  She whispered to me in a low voice: "What a broken name, it sounds like choosing a daughter-in-law for you!"

  She then continued: "Appoint Huang Fei as the Minister of Posts and Communications, from the first rank, and transfer all existing telegraph bureaus and telephone bureaus to the Ministry of Posts and Communications, by imperial order."

  Li Lianying immediately shouted: "The first-class minister and Minister of Posts and Communications, Huang Fei, leads the edict to thank the emperor!"

  Huang Fei was led in by someone, knelt down under Dan Hua and kowtowed to thank her, then stood up at the middle of the right side.

  As usual, Li Lianying shouted in his loud voice: "Those who have memoranda, present them; those who do not, withdraw from the court!"

  As soon as the words fell, a fifty-year-old minister came out and knelt down: "Minister Sun Yuwen has a memorial to present!"

  Cixi smiled and said: "Little Li, bring his original script here!"

  This chapter was passed into the hands of Empress Dowager Cixi, and as soon as she read one page, she slammed the book shut and said: "Again you are advising me to delay my retirement from politics. Don't you know the precedents set by our ancestors? Can't you show some consideration for my hardships? I also want to relax and enjoy myself, tour mountains and rivers, savor the spiritual essence of nature, and experience the warmth of family life. Why must you pressure me left and right to be this emperor?"

  I smiled and took the book in my hand, looked at it and said: "Empress Dowager, take a look, what Sun Gong said is really good. When foreign invaders invaded our Great Qing and plundered our territory, he said that if we don't restore the martial spirit of our country, expand our land and sea forces, and show off our ironclad warships to all directions with a strong and brave spirit, then those who have humiliated us will take advantage of our weakness. If it comes to this, then who will maintain our independence? Who will share our wealth and power? Therefore, expanding the land and sea forces is an urgent matter for the government to focus on. Listen, the Eastern barbarians have already made us their target of invasion. If we don't rise up and prepare under your leadership, won't we suffer a great loss? Empress Dowager, you can't hand over power to me now. The Great Qing has suffered so much from the Western barbarians, how can we suffer again from the small Eastern barbarians? So, we should now prepare our navy, strengthen the naval ministry's power. I have decided to personally take charge of the naval ministry, and I beg you to let my teacher be the Minister of Navy, with all three naval fleets under my management."

  Before I could finish speaking, Empress Dowager Cixi said: "The emperor's words are good, let's follow the emperor's opinion and resume my reign..." Before she could finish speaking, I immediately knelt down on the ground: "Thank you, Your Majesty, for allowing me to take charge of the Navy Ministry, allowing my teacher Weng Tonghe to be appointed as the Minister of the Navy, and allowing the three fleets to be directly managed by the Navy Ministry!"

  Weng Tonghe immediately ran forward and knelt down: "Your subject kowtows to thank the Old Buddha for her great kindness, wishing the Old Buddha ten thousand years of life, ten thousand years of life, and forever!"

  This commotion has made Cixi's eyes wide with anger. She had just agreed to take over the government, but hadn't expected to agree with my opinion. Now that things have come to this pass, she was furious and stood there in a daze for a moment.

  I couldn't let her regain her composure, and immediately said: "Li Lianying, hurry up and pass on the imperial edict, relieving Yi Kuang of his duties as Navy Minister, and making new arrangements. Weng Tonghe will take office immediately, don't disappoint the emperor's great trust!"

  Li Lianying looked at Cixi, unsure of what to do.

  I immediately said: "What, don't you believe in the golden words and jade teeth of Lao Fo Ye anymore? Are you going to make Lao Fo Ye lose credibility among all people? Don't you believe in Lao Fo Ye's determination to resist foreign invaders?"

  It was probably what I had been forced to do, Cixi waved her hand and said: "Draft an edict!"

  Li Lianying drafted the imperial edict, I revised it once, and then handed it over to Empress Dowager Cixi for her review. Finally, Li Lianying shouted: "Weng Tonghe received the edict: We respectfully obey the decree of Empress Dowager Cixi, ordering Guangxu Emperor to personally sign the Navy Ministry, appointing Weng Tonghe as the Minister of the Navy and relieving Yi Kuang of his position as Minister of the Navy. The Beiyang Fleet, Nanyang Fleet, and Fujian Fleet are all under the direct command of the Navy Ministry. By order."

  He had just finished speaking, and I said: "Please ask the Ministry of War to bring Weng Tonghe and Qing Prince Yikuang to the Navy Department immediately for handover. The old Buddha is still waiting to hear your reply!"

  Below, the Minister of the Board of War did not dare to slack off. He brought the imperial edict and led 100 unwilling and 10,000 reluctant Prince Qing Xian to hand over.

  This mess has not only delayed my return to Beijing, but also the proposal they wanted to put forward about the naval expenses for the Yiheyuan has been scrapped due to the big changes in the Navy Ministry. However, the matter of sending Changxu to make purchases is still going on as usual. I have my own way of doing things, so I said: "The Empress Dowager wants to buy several yachts, this is a proper thing, we must buy good ones, high-end ones, and the sooner the better!"

  Back to the bedroom, I hadn't even had time to laugh loudly when Weng Tonghe and Zhang Zhidong arrived. The two of them burst out laughing as soon as they saw me, and Fei was so delighted that she doubled over with laughter.

  Damn it, I also got rid of that old thing today!

  We can't laugh anymore, Xiaofuzi ran over and said: "Everyone quickly retreat, Lao Foye is coming with a large group of people!"

  Author's note: About Tala

  Name: Hehe Dara Zhenfei, also known as: Qieshun Huang Guifei, Date of birth: February 27, 1876 (Guangxu 2nd year), Manchu people with a red border flag. So in her maiden home, her name was Hehe Dara.