Chapter Ten Beauty Like Clouds

  I was stunned: "This old fox, finally showing her tail! I said why so enthusiastic, it turned out to be forcing me into a trap, but now is not the time to confront her? Let her enjoy herself for a few more days!" Thinking of this, I quickly said: "Great, with Empress Dowager leading the way, I can finally feel at ease!"

  Cixi sighed: "It can't be delayed for a few more days, the ancestors have their rules, and the ministers' hearts are not in harmony. I think it's better to wait another year, until your grand wedding next year, then I'll thoroughly retire, tend to flowers, chat with friends, and let me live like an immortal too! By the way, hurry back for dinner, later at the Qianqing Palace, I'll select a consort for you, can't be late! You don't have to worry too much, just follow my lead when the time comes! I won't harm you!" She handed me a jade Ruyi: "Take it, when the time comes and I nod, give this to that girl, she will be your empress! Don't make a mistake, this is the betrothal gift for the empress!"

  Damn it, I'm not allowed to worry about selecting a concubine, what kind of thing is this? The emperor's life isn't that great either! Even if my heart isn't at ease, I still have to take Yu Ruyi in, and say: "Where did the Empress Dowager go? Can the child not believe the Empress Dowager? The child will listen to you!"

  Back in the bedroom, my two little wives (don't look at Yan'er being four years older than me, after our three repairs, she and Fei'er have become inseparable, and they also seem like 18 or 19-year-old girls) saw the gloomy expression on my face and hurriedly surrounded me to ask about it. Fei'er asked worriedly: "What's wrong, did she find out something?"

  The swallow had a number in her mind, she smiled and said: "You didn't see him like that, he must be an old thing to kick his ugly niece to him, and soon he will be holding a big dinosaur, scaring him!"

  Fei'er burst out laughing: "Great, didn't I tell you? Just take it easy and you won't go wrong! We'll practice every day, and you can use her as a stepping stone. She won't dare to bother you anymore! Whenever she sees you, she'll be shaking with fear!"

  I was so angry that I cursed: "What nonsense are you talking about? Do you want me to sell myself?"

  The swallow asked again: "Is the old man discussing the delay in returning to politics?"

  I nodded, and Swallow laughed: "You're so clever! Just let her be, we'll give her a little show, and force her to roll back to her old nest! How stupid, the three of us are 21st-century people, can't we play with her?" I knew that Little Zhuge had some idea again, so I said: "Don't suffocate over there, speak up and let everyone hear!"

  She smiled and said: "Heavenly secrets cannot be revealed, when the time comes, the mountain people will have their own arrangements!"

  In accordance with the Qing dynasty's etiquette, the Imperial Clan Court had long since sent documents to the Eight Banners Manchu and Mongolian nobles, requiring that all daughters of civil officials above the fifth rank and military officials above the fourth rank who were 16 years old or older be registered and presented to the Imperial Clan Court. The Imperial Clan Court would then compile a yellow register and present it for imperial inspection, after which the Empress Dowager would select a date to choose from among them.

  The previous work has been completed, and now I am accompanying the Empress Dowager to select a face.

  After dinner, I brought Xiaofuzi and several personal attendants to the Qianqing Palace.

  I took a glance inside and was immediately stunned: Wow, beauties everywhere!

  The grand hall was already packed with people, including officials in official robes and noblewomen and imperial consorts in magnificent attire.

  Damn it, these officials are not doing a good job, but they have a knack for choosing wives. Each of their wives is as beautiful as a flower, and I reckon if I were to get one, I'd be set for life! If I were to get one, I'm sure she wouldn't be much worse than my two little wives.

  I supported Empress Dowager Cixi as she walked into the grand hall. After three shouts of "Long Live", the selection began.

  One by one, the beautiful girls with Manchu flower-pot-bottom shoes walked over to us, swaying their hips like willows in the spring breeze. They curtsied and greeted us, then turned around and left. I didn't expect that there would be so many beauties in this era, each with a rosy complexion and a slender waist, if they were dressed in 21st-century women's clothes, they would be stunningly beautiful! So many beauties came to pay their respects to us, but the old thing just sat there silently, half-closing her eyes as if she was dozing off.

  I didn't dare make another peep, now wasn't the time to provoke her!

  Outside, a dinosaur twisted in, flat chest, typical airport; flat face, like a big pancake; flat butt, sliding ice rink; an unusual big dinosaur! Who is this mom who predicted, trying to scare someone to death? All of these have been selected, not looking for death? Not afraid to let Master Xīfó take it out and kill it?

  It's strange that the old man suddenly had a smile on his face, handed the teacup in his hand to Li Lianying, stared at the dinosaur with wide eyes, and his mouth was open. He said: "Imperial son, prepare the jade scepter, your empress is coming! Look, this child is so steady and dignified, she can be a model for the whole country!"

  This can't be good, it must be that niece of hers, Yehe Nara, stuffing her to me as empress, making me spend my whole life with this big lizard. Am I still alive? If she's going to be the role model for the world, wouldn't that make it a dinosaur world? Would men still have a place in this world? Wouldn't they all have to collectively go find a place to hang themselves?

  No way, I have to save the world, I have to pity all the men in the world! I saw Li Lianying just took over the teacup, I used my inner energy, and that teacup suddenly flew out, flying towards the dinosaur's feet.

  The dinosaur was walking along the prescribed route, she must be very proud of herself now, the queen is already in her pocket, and she will soon be the empress of the world. You look good, but you still can't beat me! Suddenly, she slipped underfoot, thud, fell on all fours, just as she was about to get up, her clothes were torn inside out, exposing her snow-white buttocks in front of everyone.

  The whole audience immediately covered their mouths (wanting to laugh but daring not to, what to do if they didn't cover them?), unsure of what to do!

  The dinosaur lay on the ground and burst into tears. Empress Dowager Ci Xi was so angry that she jumped up at once: "Quickly, take her to the back! Li Lianying, you dead boy, how did you spill tea there?"

  Li Lianying was so frightened that she fell to her knees with a thud: "I - wasn't - on purpose!"

  Several palace maids rushed over with blankets, wrapped up the dinosaur and carried it away.

  I slowly got up and walked to the place where tea was spilled, stopped the palace maid who was about to wipe the water, squatted down to look at the broken teacup and said: "It's so far away, it can't be an accident, right?"

  The whole hall was suddenly in an uproar, and Cixi also stared at Li Lianying with a pale face.

  Li Lianying was so frightened that she knelt down and kowtowed repeatedly: "Old, old, old Buddha, slave is innocent, slave didn't think of pouring water!"

  Xiao Fu's son picked up the broken cup, still muttering: "I didn't think pouring water would make the cup fly so far. That must be what you wanted to do, right? This isn't framing you, everyone saw it. Old Lady Buddha's niece just walked over and you smashed the teacup at her. Manager Li, Old Lady Buddha treats you so well, how could you do this? You really have let down Old Lady Buddha's cultivation!"

  Cixi glared at Li Lianying, and I thought the play was over, so I said: "Li Gong is also an unintentional mistake. He must have seen that the old Buddha's water had cooled down and was afraid of drinking bad stomach. He wanted to change the water for you, but accidentally dropped the cup! Never mind, it's a small matter, and that girl is too careless, losing her manners, losing her manners! What a pity, it's hard to be a motherly figure in the world again! It's impossible to stay in the palace, so comfort her well, change her clothes, and send her back home! Empress Dowager, let's continue watching!"

  After this, Cixi had completely lost interest and could only force herself to sit there, her face longer than the donkey's that was named after Zhuge Subo.

  I'm now very interested, staring at the beautiful women walking in front of me with wide eyes, to see if there are any girls who can match my two wives, thinking about how to expand my team of lovely wives!

  Unfortunately, after watching for half a day, it was beautiful indeed, but there wasn't even one that could catch up with or get close to Yan and Fei's two masters!

  Suddenly, my eyes lit up, and a beautiful girl with delicate eyebrows, a small nose, cherry lips, and rosy cheeks appeared at the door. Her slender waist swayed gently as she moved, showcasing her devilish figure. With elegant movements and a lovely demeanor, I knew that my third wife had arrived! I quickly picked up the jade scepter and stood up.

  She came, bringing a wisp of spring breeze, a bundle of sunshine, and a smiling face. She walked up to me with a gentle swaying motion, squatted down slightly, gave me a slight bow, raised an eyebrow, opened her small mouth, revealing snow-white teeth, and said in a soft voice: "Minu greets you, wishing you longevity!"

  She finished speaking and gave me a faint smile, my soul immediately lost half of it, and I involuntarily recited: "The emerald screen is curved, drunk into the flower cluster to stay, this time seeing the flower branch, white head vows not to return." After finishing the recitation, I stretched out my hand and handed over the jade Ruyi.

  The girl understood my intention, took over the jade scepter, and slightly squatted down, softly saying: "I will never betray you, Master!"

  After finishing speaking, her beloved jade pendant was stuck on her chest, and her breasts kept heaving up and down, as if she was extremely excited.

  I waved my hand for her to leave, I was afraid that old thing would intervene at any time!

  It's gone, the old thing rushed over, she snatched the jade Ruyi from the girl's hand: "No selection of empress this year, wait and see!" Then she said to the girl: "Go home and prepare, you two sisters of Chang family will go to Zongren Fu for training tomorrow, and then become imperial concubines for the emperor!"

  Damn it, her hands are so fast! Don't mind her, as long as the beauty enters my bed, how to arrange that is my business, you old witch!

  Author's note:

  1. Regarding Guangxu's address to Cixi, some readers said it should be "Huang Baba", but I've checked many books and found that both "E Niang" and "Huang Baba" are used. This book uses "E Niang" for the sake of letting her mix up "E Niang" and "Yi Niang". Moreover, this book is just a casual chat, so I didn't plan to do too much historical verification because it's not history.

  2. The three people's martial arts skills are only for self-defense. After all, leading a country onto the right path can't be achieved solely through martial arts.

  3. Except for time-space tunnels, this book has no fantasy elements at all. You'll understand after reading it. Thank you to enthusiastic readers for your support; I will definitely work hard to write this book well.