Chapter 3

  I figured it out, Jun Xu was being driven crazy by him. I started smiling weakly and listlessly.

  Yu Xiaoqing probably thought that even a Thompson with six bullets was worth giving, and the old goods left by the main force were also stored in the warehouse. Anyway, no matter what kind of broken gun, the Artillery Gray Team finally had one more gun per person this time.

  I smiled at every guy who saw me, and most of the guys turned their faces away after seeing me. Dr. Hao and Mie Long started a heated debate, and the topic was obviously about me. I was dazed and didn't bother to care, just smiling.

  I heard footsteps. It was A Yi who had mustered up his courage after a long time and finally came over.

  "You're truly a shame to our squad." He looked at me.

  "Can you speak plainly? You've got a small pompadour and look like a fly." I looked at him.

  A Yi hastily combed his hair into a three-seven parting and said, “... You are the shame of our group.”

  To avoid his eyes turning red, he hastily retreated, pretending to join the formation that was being rearranged. I smiled sullenly, watching the little guy's listless figure. Do it well, like a human being. With a gun, you can hit the target accurately. Don't torment yourself, you're not a fly.

  They were kicking and stomping, holding guns and carrying ammunition boxes. They were in high spirits, not only shouting "One, two, one to the left", but also singing songs. So they sang a song that we had sung a long time ago: "The wind and clouds rise, the mountains and rivers move, the Huangpu military academy is founded with great momentum, revolutionary warriors are loyal and brave. Golden spears and iron horses, fighting on the battlefield, defending the country and attacking the enemy as vanguard..."

  I watched them leave. The scoundrels didn't look at me before, but now they're leaving and looking back at me. As they walked towards the flagpole, their necks were almost twisted. Tears filled my eyes again, and I couldn't see anything except tears, but I was also humming along, "...mobile offensive, brave and calm, surprise attack with clever strategy, loyalty and unity, strong and self-reliant, annihilate the enemy and sing a triumphant song."

  I couldn't help but recall that dreamlike fantasy that might have actually happened. We sang this song as we followed He Shuguang's car, he was shirtless and playing the accordion, singing about brokenness and dreams. I had many failed dreams, but this one is what I care about most.

  Later, I found out that not only was I humming, but someone else was also humming next to my ear. Even busily shaking off the tears in my eyes. Dead, dead, was humming next to my ear, and Dog Meat was sniffing at the rope binding me. He was a gun enthusiast, carrying a brand new Thompson on his back. The scoundrels were far away, but they didn't leave because their commander threw them down and ran back.

  I quickly straightened myself up. I thought I couldn't stand upright anymore, but I managed to straighten myself up.

  "Are you embarrassed?" he asked me.

  "Don't lose face."

  I was so dead-set on it, but I had to turn around and look at the scum. Every single one of them had an expression of utmost recognition on their faces. He scratched his head again and asked: "Regret it?"

  "Every second since you walked away, I regret it ten times."

  "Then you'll die of a heart attack." He looked at me.

  "Damn it, do you understand rhetoric? Even if you shoot me with that gun in your hand and turn me into a beehive, I'll still laugh, because I know you bunch of bastards finally have guns that won't jam! But you can't shoot, and I won't be able to laugh, it will hurt! This is rhetoric! ——But I'll still run."

  "Awesome! Why?"

  I didn't make a sound. But the guy started groping me. I struggled with all my might, twisting and turning, using my feet to kick him as much as I could.

  "Ah, ah, summon Xing Sandong and Cheng Sibabai. These two people are only official titles, immediately becoming accomplices to the tiger. Ah, ah, searched my body for those two half-written letters, then compared them."

  I irritably reminded him: "Fall down. Stupid."

  He turned it over and continued to look at it. The letter wasn't long, and he understood it after scanning it twice. After finishing reading, he made a very clear expression towards me, "Your parents are coming? Why didn't you say so earlier?"

  I'm so angry my teeth are itching, "Damn it! It's on the West Coast! West Coast! West Coast! West Coast copper basin! How can I put this? Will you approve my leave? I'll tell you to take a leave of absence, go seek death, and if I don't die, I'll come back?"

  That guy ignored me, turned around and took a look at the people who were still queuing there like idiots, waved those two half-worn-out papers, "You bunch of fools, whoever wants to make a scene for this kind of nonsense in the future, first get permission from me."

  No one paid attention to him, except me who asked softly, "What are you going to do?"

  He smiled and looked at Xing Sanzhuang and Cheng Sibai, who had a subconscious reaction of standing up straight and saluting under inexplicable circumstances.

  The law court was seized, and I was carried out by the mourning gate star and Hao Shouyi. Hao Shouyi hummed and muttered to himself, he was indeed very happy, "Young Master is leaving."

  I wasn't that excited. I stared at him, deadpan. He walked ahead of me, all his interest seemingly focused on the M1928 Thompson he'd just gotten his hands on.

  "That's called a trench broom." I said.

  "What broom?"

  "The broom of the trench sweeper. The inventor called it that."

  "Good name. I'll find a place to see if he's bragging." He didn't look at me when he said this either.

  "Let the lice on the mountain line up, and use this to help them get rid of the bugs." He turned his head and glared at me, I weakly smiled with a bit of anger, "I'm still okay. Shouldn't this piece of bacon be hung for two more days?"

  "You're very good at pretending. You never beg for mercy. But when you're forced into a desperate situation, it's still your own fault." After saying that, he went back to repairing his broom with all his attention. I knew what he meant, and what I said wasn't what I wanted to say - he also knew that the so-called broom was just my way of changing the subject to cover up the shame in my heart.

  Hao the veterinarian asked me in a hushed tone, "Have your parents arrived? What brought them here? Were they scared by you or something? When did they arrive? Where are they staying? Why are they staying on the west bank? Isn't that where the devils live? How did they manage to cross the river?"

  I glared at him, almost choking with rage, "What makes you say it was me who scared him?"

  Hao the veterinarian said: "I'm the one who's supposed to be the dad. My son writes a letter when he's unhappy, and then another one when he's even more unhappy - I'd better go see what's wrong with my son!"

  "None of your business."

  But Hao Lao's words were a comfort. "Very well," my father wrote in response to my letter, "since you have made up your mind, we will all die together as one family, and I am greatly consoled." The old man was stubborn and hard-hearted, spending years sitting at home cursing everything related to the outside world, with knowledge of travel close to zero. "There are many preparations to be made, a journey full of hardships, but in the end we will arrive at Tonggu. Fortunately, we did not go astray, only differing by a hair's breadth. Come as soon as you see this letter." My father wrote lightly from the town of Tonggu on the west bank. At that time, I was still in Burma, and the sky pass between Zhen Da and Tonggu was still open.

  I seem to be holding a letter from hell.

  I sat on the bed with a letter from home, feeling listless and disheartened. I was depressed, and this depression could no longer be concealed since it had become public knowledge.

  He's pacing back and forth in the house, unlike me, he's still playing Tomson, excited to death, "Bullshit! Hell? Heaven strike him down, kill this unfilial son, sentence his parents to death."

  "Speak clearly. I'm going to die with them. Don't worry, I won't survive in the occupied zone."

  "You're all deserters now, what's it to me whether you live or die? Thunder and lightning, the Supreme Venerable Deity's urgent decree, even if another shell falls, it's fine with this damned thing."

  I watched him warily as he played with the gun, holding a Thompson and firing bursts across the river, his mouth working soundlessly. I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd actually fired several clips.

  "I said, 'Don't talk to me about righteousness, don't say that one day we'll rescue them from under the Japanese invaders' iron hooves. I've endured many things, even you have endured, but this is something that can't be endured. Besides, you don't know what kind of stubborn and unyielding person my father is, he wouldn't last a week in the occupied zone.'"

  "Die die die said: 'I didn't say anything, did I? And looking at your younger brother, don't I know what kind of temper your dad has? But it's none of my business.'"

  I was thinking of a comeback, but the door darkened and the Mourning Star flashed in, saying: "Everyone is here."

  "Go, go." Dead or alive, they said as they turned around and walked out. I was stunned for a moment, then crawled up and chased after them in the trenches. Those guys didn't even turn their heads back, nor did the unlucky star.

  "What's going on? What's all the fuss about?" I asked him.

  "Don't do anything. Don't do a thing. Don't follow me within three meters."

  "Who's listening within three meters of you! What are you going to do?"

  Dead and gone without even looking back. "The country is in trouble. The word 'loyalty' has already been watered down, can't afford to be lenient with the word 'filial piety' anymore?"

  "Less nonsense! I know what you're up to. You're itching all over, and this itch has nothing to do with filial piety."

  "Ah ah" twice, " propriety and shame, itch me to death."

  "Damn it! You're itching for that little bit of American goods that others left behind!"

  "Oh yeah."

  "Don't pick on me! I'm serious!" I said a bit impatiently.

  "Mind your own business, the country is lost, it's very itchy. Help me scratch." He stretched his back to Mangmen Xing, and Mangmen Xing helped him scratch, making me so angry that I shouted, "Do you want to cross the river? Do you?"

  He didn't respond, "Die comfortably, okay, let's go."

  "Again you're acting on your own! Yu Xiaoqing will be the death of you!"

  "Oh yeah."

  "I won't go with you."

  "Great!"

  "No one wants to send themselves to death. And no one wants to go with you."

  He let out another "oh" and stopped, the mourning star also stopped, they had already arrived at their destination trench. I also stopped, it was impossible to go any further forward, all the people called by the mourning star were crowded here, armed to the teeth with tattered clothes. Some of them were holding newly looted American weapons, while others were still holding their original broken guns.

  "The Star of Mourning said: 'Those who have fought and can still fight are all here.'"

  I took a look at them and stopped talking. Those guys - the cowardly scum, the broken-down veterans, the illiterate crap machines - were all itching for action. My hair stood on end, I was also itching a bit, but that had nothing to do with the American equipment, just like when I watched our tank screaming, but I knew it wouldn't fall into our hands, and in this standoff across the river, it wasn't even needed.

  Nothing to do with these.