Chapter 11: Marrying a Delicate Wife

  Since Liu Shanhe returned from Xianyang, he has been very dissatisfied with his situation. However, he doesn't have the ability to change his current circumstances, so he can only spend his days drinking and living a life of idleness. Although he is the head of the pavilion, his salary is meager. The only advantage is that on ordinary days, he can send his subordinates to his home to help his old father with some chores, which can be considered as making up for the troubles he has caused his parents in recent years and compensating for his lack of filial piety.

  Actually, Liu Shanhe also hoped to formally find a wife and start a family. Although he had Cui Gu beside him, after all, Cui Gu could only be considered a concubine and not a real madam. Moreover, Liu Shanhe knew that if he could formally marry a first wife and become a family, he would also receive some restraint. After all, the words of a concubine can be ignored, but the words of a madam cannot be ignored. In that case, it would definitely force him to restrain his indulgent personality, which would be very helpful for his development. Yes, he really wanted that. However, although he was now a respected elder, few people came to propose marriage on his behalf.

  For this point, Liu Shanhe was very clear in his heart. The reason why things were like this was simply because of his own reputation. Yes, his own reputation. It seemed that his notorious reputation was too bad, making almost all matchmakers hesitant to approach him. On the side, Liu Shanhe had also heard some rumors about people trying to arrange a marriage for him. For example, there were often some enthusiastic widows who would say when introducing him to others: "That person is really not bad! His face looks like that of a nobleman! High cheekbones, a face as white as silver, and fortune tellers say he has the 'dragon's countenance'. Do you understand what 'dragon's countenance' means? It means this person was born with the fate to become an emperor! Let's not talk about that for now. Just talking about his appearance, he is indeed a talented and handsome man! And, no matter how you look at it, he holds the position of Shuijingting Zhang, which is also very good! Although the official rank may be slightly lower, it is still a powerful position, managing hundreds of households! Tsk, tsk, this person is really not bad, really not bad!" Matchmakers would always enthusiastically highlight Liu Shanhe's noble appearance and his position as Shuijingting Zhang when introducing him to the bride's family. For any matchmaker, it was natural to emphasize the advantages of their client as much as possible. Moreover, Liu Bang indeed possessed some characteristics of a nobleman, such as the 72 black moles on his left thigh, which were a good example.

  "What's his name, such a good person?" The woman's family heard the matchmaker say this and naturally had high expectations for that young man.

  This is a problem that cannot be avoided. Is it, the name, can the name be changed? Later, when Liu Shanhe heard about the rumor of matchmaking for himself, he had cursed in his heart, "I rely on it, I rely on it, when did I call him Liu Bang, I am Liu Shanhe, I am just Liu Shanhe! Damn it, these damn matchmakers, why don't they say my real name? If they said my real name, I wouldn't have ended up with a fate of not getting married until I'm 30 or 40 years old." However, Liu Shanhe forgot that he had only crossed over to that place, and whether it was his appearance, background, or surname, everything was already predetermined and could not be changed.

  Yes, at many times, Liu Shanhe was very helpless, very entangled, and very depressed. If one were to say that since crossing over to this place, the opportunity to do something earth-shaking had not yet arrived, and the conditions to become a great undertaking had not been met, then one could still forgive oneself. But now, one can't even get a wife, this is really embarrassing! Alas, alas, what can be done? What can be done? Who made oneself so wandering, so indulgent, resulting in such a "good" reputation?

  "Ah, ah, ah, it's him, his name is called Liu Bang." The matchmaker had no choice but to say the name as it was.

  "What? Liu Bang? That scoundrel? My goodness, you were just talking about him with such high praise, but it turns out that after all the fuss, you're actually talking about a scoundrel, a vagabond like Liu Bang?! No way, no way, absolutely not!" The woman's family members turned around and left as soon as they heard Liu Bang's name mentioned, ignoring the matchmaker's calls to come back.

  "Alas, this Liu Bang, this village head! It seems that he will be a bachelor for the rest of his life!" The matchmaker was also extremely annoyed at her failure to make a successful match, but could only vent her anger on Liu Shanhe's ill-fated destiny.

  Yes, at many times, Liu Shanhe was very helpless, very entangled, and very depressed. If one were to say that since crossing over to this place, the opportunity to do something earth-shaking had not yet arrived, and the conditions to become a great undertaking had not been met, then one could still forgive oneself. But now, one can't even get a wife, this is really embarrassing! Alas, alas, what can be done? What can be done? Who made oneself so wandering, so indulgent, resulting in such a "good" reputation?

  However, Liu Shanhe was also good at comforting himself. He said to himself, "Alas, a great man has no wife!" He often told himself, "Alas, having no wife is fine, it saves me a lot of money on family expenses." He thought that being single was actually quite good. When he ate his fill, the whole family wouldn't go hungry, and he always had some money to spend. He could go to hotels or brothels whenever he wanted; he had been to all the places he should go to, and also to those he shouldn't have gone to. Living like this was actually quite good, really very good! Haha... This way of thinking was on one hand Liu Shanhe's true inner thoughts, and on the other hand, it was also his helpless thoughts. Yes, a very helpless thought.

  It's actually a natural human tendency. Yes, it's a natural tendency. Because no matter who it is, if one of their goals isn't achieved, they'll always come up with various excuses to comfort themselves. And Liu Shanhe, apart from using this method to comfort himself, has another way - making hats for himself.

  Although Liu Shanhe had made many hats for himself before, they didn't quite meet his expectations. However, since returning from Xianyang, he had a clear idea of what he wanted his hat to look like: tall and straight on his head, with the front and back edges flat and the front end slightly curved upwards...

  Actually, the hat that Liu Shanhe had initially envisioned was inspired by Qin Shi Huang when he saw him in Xianyang. Yes, how majestic was Qin Shi Huang, and how sharp was his aura? Not to mention his chariots, not to mention his ceremonial team, just talking about that one hat of his is enough to make people feel a sense of oppression, you have to look up to see it. Hmm, let's also make a hat like that!

  That day, Liu Shanhe was in his own office, intently making his own Liu-style crown. After a lot of effort, he finally made a hat that imitated the style of Qin Shi Huang's imperial crown. Liu Shanhe held the hat in his hand, admiring it and making "tsk tsk" sounds with his mouth. Then, he put the hat on his head and stood in front of a mirror, looking left and right, feeling that this hat was truly suitable for him, whether from temperament, physique or appearance, all were absolutely top-notch!

  Staring and staring, Liu Shanhe suddenly flowered in his eyes. The mirror reflected himself, and he suddenly transformed into the appearance of Qin Shi Huang! Thick beard, pale face, high crown, majestic demeanor... Ah, ah, what's going on? Is this still that Liu Shanhe, the manager of Sui Water Pavilion? He, he, the person in the mirror, isn't it exactly that Emperor Qin who ruled the world?

  For a moment, Liu Shanhe was completely and utterly intoxicated with his own imagination. He was completely and utterly conquered by his own imagination.

  While Liu Bang was still indulging in his own imagination and couldn't extricate himself, suddenly a voice came from outside: "Liu Bang, Liu Bang, what are you doing? What are you doing?" Upon hearing the voice from outside, Liu Bang was startled for a moment, but he quickly calmed down. He had already recognized the speaker's voice as Xiang Yu.

  "Hahaha, so it's General Xiao after all. What wind has blown you here again?" Liu Shanhe said, still admiring his own Liu-style hat, as he spoke to Xiao He.

  Xiao He originally had some official business to attend to near the Si River Pavilion, and he thought it was about time he paid Liu San a visit. So, he dismounted his horse and came over to take a look. However, as soon as he entered the door, he was shocked by Liu Shanhe's carefree admiration of his own Liu-style hat. As the chief officer, Xiao He knew that randomly imitating the emperor's hat and wearing it on one's head would be considered a capital offense if discovered and spread around! Good grief, this Liu San is really bold!

  But at this time, Liu Shanhe didn't see the panic in Xiao He's eyes at all. He still put the hat on his own head and looked at it repeatedly. Seeing Xiao He coming over, he actually took off the hat from his own head and put it directly on Xiao He's head, saying: "Come on, come on, Old Xiao! You try wearing it too, huh, not bad, not bad at all!"

  Xiao He looked at Liu Bang and saw that he had put on the hat that could destroy his own nine tribes, almost blowing his mouth away. He quickly took off the hat and put it under his foot, and with a few quick movements, he crushed it to powder. Then, with a serious expression, he said: "I'm telling you, Liu Bang! Your guts are getting bigger and bigger, aren't they? Do you know how much trouble you'll get into if someone sees this hat and reports you? Alas, you really don't know what's deep or shallow! You're going to bring disaster upon yourself! Have you forgotten about the time you accidentally injured Xia Hou Ying while comparing swords after drinking? Luckily it was just Xia Hou Ying, but if it were someone else, would you have been so lucky? Alas, you never learn from your mistakes, why don't you ever learn from your mistakes?"

  Liu Shanhe saw that Xiao He had actually trampled the hat he had worked hard to make, but he didn't get angry. Of course, he knew that Xiao He was also doing it for his own good. So Liu Shanhe could only sigh deeply and say: "Well, okay, forget it. You said this hat has a problem, then it has a problem. I'll just make another one later, no big deal."

  "It's just making another one, you can't make it in this style again, do you understand? If so, it will be killed! Alas, what's wrong with you, why are you always like this? It's just making another one, you can't make it in this style again, do you understand? If so, it will be killed! Alas, what's wrong with you, why are you always like this?" Xiao He scolded Liu Shanhe while pointing at his nose.

  "Alright, let's not talk about that for now. I'm here on some official business today and just remembered what we discussed the other day about congratulating Lü Gong. The specific arrangements have already been finalized. Due to Lü Gong's relatively small courtyard, those who are participating in the congratulations will be divided into three batches. Those who donated over 1,000 coins will be invited directly into the inner court to meet with Lü Gong; those who donated over 500 coins will wait in the guest hall for Lü Gong to come out and greet everyone; while those who donated less than 500 coins will be arranged in the courtyard. However, I came to inform you that according to our county magistrate's instructions, only people residing within the city of Pei County can participate in congratulating Lü Gong, and no notifications have been sent to those living outside the city. As for whether or not you go, I think it's best if you weigh your options carefully. That's all I had to say, I still have official business to attend to, so I'll take my leave." With that, Xiao He hastily exited the door and mounted his horse to depart.

  After seeing off Xiao He, Liu Shanhe was thinking to himself: those who gave over 1,000 coins would be invited into the inner courtyard to meet with Lord Lü directly; those who gave over 500 coins would wait in the guest hall for Lord Lü to come out and greet everyone; while those who gave less than 500 coins were arranged in the courtyard. Heh heh heh, this really is interesting. It seems that this idea must have been given by that Xiao He guy. Dammit, what's with the money or not? Without money, can't I go? And they say only officials living in the county town have the qualifications to go and congratulate. Isn't this pushing me Liu Shanhe out? If it weren't for Lord Lü's two daughters, I wouldn't bother going to congratulate that old man!

  Xiao He just said that the day is set for tonight. Well, if it's tonight, then it's tonight! Maybe from tonight on, I'll be in luck!

  At this point, Liu Shanhe briefed one of the most efficient and helpful fathers in the pavilion about today's affairs, then put on a newly made hat (not the one trampled by Xiao He), rode his white horse, and rushed towards the county town.

  Liu Shanhe wanted to go to Fan Kuai's place first to borrow some money. No matter what, going empty-handed to congratulate someone wouldn't do. If he let that Lu Gong humiliate him in public, it would be better not to go at all. Finally, Liu Shanhe rode his white horse and soon arrived in the county town of Pei. He put his horse in a stable in the county town and then headed straight for Fan Kuai's dog meat restaurant. From afar, Liu Shanhe smelled a unique and savory aroma of dog meat, and he knew that Fan Kuai's dog meat shop was just ahead.

  As expected, Liu Shanhe saw Fan Qiang waving a large steel knife there, chopping block after block of dog meat with all his might. Seeing Liu Shanhe coming from afar, he shouted loudly to Liu Shanhe: "Hey, isn't that Third Brother? I said Third Brother, how do you have time to come to the county town? Is there something going on?"

  "Oh, there are some things." Liu Shanhe said while taking a piece of dog meat from Fan Qie's chopping board with one hand and eating it in big mouthfuls. Then he said: "I'm asking you, Fan Qie, do you still have any money on you? I'll borrow a few hundred to use first."

  "Wow, my good third brother, several hundred? Alas, look at my small business, a day's work, and I can only sell tens or twenty cents worth. You're great, one mouthful is several hundred cents! Don't be modest, third brother, to tell you the truth, I don't have that much money on hand today, just tens of cents. Wait, wait, I'll go get it for you right away!" Saying this, Fan Qiang was about to turn back and enter the house to fetch the money.

  Liu Shanhe heard that Fan Qie only had a few dozen coins, and he thought to himself, "If I take this small amount of money to congratulate Lü Gong, it's not worth going at all!" After thinking for a moment, he rushed towards Fan Qie, who had already walked into the inner room, and said: "I say, Fan Qie, forget it! You don't need to go get it either!" As he spoke, Liu Shanhe continued eating the dog meat in his hand, taking big strides away from Fan Qie's dog meat stall, heading towards Lü Gong's residence. In his heart, a bold plan was rapidly taking shape.

  From a distance, Liu Shanhe saw the front of the luxurious mansion where Lü Gong lived, with two large red lanterns hanging high, and at the same time, people dressed in very high-end clothes were coming in and out, looking like a festive atmosphere. A short distance from the gate, Liu Shanhe looked at his own clothes, damn it, this official was too small, and wearing clothes also made him look so shabby. However, fortunately, Liu Shanhe's mood was good, thinking that clothes were just a layer of skin, and there was nothing to worry about. It seemed like a kind of power, in the dark, urging himself, not caring about anything, following those people dressed in high-end clothes, walking into Lü Gong's gate. And when Liu Shanhe entered the gate, he found that the person standing in the courtyard, busy running around, was his good friend Xiao He.

  At this time, Xiao He also saw Liu Bang's arrival. He put down the things in his hands and hurried over to say: "I said Liu Bang, hey, you really came! You're just a small official, but it's okay if you have money! What are you coming to join the excitement for? You're just a small official, but it's okay if you have money! What are you coming to join the excitement for?"

  "I said Liu Bang, you really came? Good, good, good! You see," Xiang Yu pointed to a large red paper on the side with very eye-catching writing: "Those who have less than 1,000 coins, please sit in the courtyard."

  After reading those few words, Liu Shanhe didn't say a word, just smiled and patted his empty pocket, then strode to the counter where gifts were registered. He picked up a pen and quickly wrote "One Hundred Thousand Dollars" in large characters on a red paper. Then he threw down the pen and said to Xiao He: "Sir Xiao, where should I go sit?"

  Liu Bang's behavior, however, was a huge surprise to Xiao He. He thought to himself, "You're something else, Liu Bang! I had no idea what you were really like! You don't even have a single penny in your pocket, yet you dare to write 'A gift of 10,000 coins'! This Liu Bang, Xiao He had always known, was someone who liked to think big and make a show of things. But even so, without a single penny to his name, how could he possibly write such an extravagant gift?! This Liu Bang, truly was a mystery, impossible to understand!

  Liu Bang's behavior, however, was a great shock to Xiao He. He thought to himself, "You're quite something, Liu Bang! I didn't know you had such audacity! You don't have a single penny in your pocket, yet you dare write 'Congratulations on the one million coins'!" Xiao He had always known that Liu Bang was someone who liked to make a big show of things. But even so, without having any money at all, how could he possibly write something like "one million coins" as a congratulatory gift?! This Liu Bang, truly is an enigma, impossible to understand!